9.

The rest of the dinner passed by lovely. Not. It was awkward as hell. I could feel his eyes drilling my head. And the way my mom was shifting uncomfortably confirmed my suspicions. At least Mark wasn't working today so I got no burden on my shoulders. If he was here I would just leave. I ain't got no time for that drama.

''Hanna right?''-a voice came from above. I look up and see Ken standing next to our table. Mom looks at him questionably. Now this wasn't the same dude from before. He was gay and I knew that but this was a whole new Ken we're talking about. Everybody should know who Jeffree Star is. Or they should have came across his picture somewhere. If you know who Jeffree is, then you know how Ken looks like. Only less fabulous.

''Yeah.''-I say smiling. I had a thing for gay people, I loved them. ''You look, different.''-I say. He throws his head back and laughs.

''Girl it's my birthday.''-he said and I stood up to congratulate him. He pulled me into a hug and I stole a quick glance to Ji Chis table. I was right about the drilling. The girl talked to him and swung her hair left and right but he wasn't even looking at her one bit. Rude.

''Happy birthday.''-I say. ''I don't have a present.''-I say.

''Shut up. See that party over there?''-he said pointing to the top of the ship where all kinds of lights were blasting away. A group of drag queen looking people were dancing and drinking.

''Yeah, looks fun.''-I say.

''You should join us. I saw you from above and I just had to come.''-he said holding my hand.

''I am sorry, I'm here with my mom.''-I say.

''Oh I've been wondering who this pretty lady was.''-he said and my mom smiled. ''I am Ken.''-he said holding out his hand.

''Olivia.''-mom said. I could see she was won over.

''I had a feeling I was about to get turned down so I came with a drink.''-he said and handed me a pink champagne.

''Thank you, and I am sorry.''-I say.

''Girl say no more. Your number please.''-he said and handed me his phone. I took it and entered the digits. ''Imma call you, you better be ready.''-he said and turned like a . I smiled without force for the first time. Maybe I am getting back on track. I turn slightly to Ji Chi with a smile plastered on my face, showing him I can smile without him. But he wasn't looking anymore, and my smile faded.

''That was a nice... person.''-mom said.

''He's a guy. And he's gay. Relax.''-I say.

''Oh you can see he is gay from a mile.''-she said.

''I wouldn't say so. You should see him when he's normal. You wouldn't notice.''-I say.

''He can be normal?''-she asked.

''Yeah. I mean, how he is now is his normal too. I don't wanna judge.''-I say.

''You're right.''-she said. ''Oh he's leaving.''-mom said looking behind me and I sat a bit straighter. I caught his scent right before he passed by us. He stopped for a second and turned to us. My face froze and I could barely look at him. The girl looked confused.

''Good night.''-he said. I don't know to who because I couldn't look.

''Good night honey.''-mom said to him and he left.

''Hanna..''-mom started but I lifted my hand to stop her.

''Don't.''-I say. She sighs and drinks her wine.

Finally I can go to the beach again. My knees were alright and the bruises on my back were gone. If anybody saw me they would think I fell of my bike or something. Mom didn't feel like going and she was on her period so she stayed but I was not gonna miss out. I stayed inside for too long even my tan started to fade. I scanned the beach for the person who's name is not gonna be mentioned. No sight of him. I put my towel and my bag down and put on my water shoes. I stepped in the water and as soon as the water hit my ankles I felt a brain freeze. It was cold. Damn island water, always cold. Alright, I can do this. I fist bumped myself and made a face of determination. I made a few steps when kids ran by me all splashing around. They splashed me all over my back and I swear if I could make my spine snap in two, that would happen right now. Damn those kids. I'm gonna choke them. I started after them when I heard his voice.

''Don't do it. They are just kids.''-he said from the beach. I turn slightly and there he was in his shorts and pink flip flops. What a sight to see. Apart from bluish spots on his sides. He was still sporting a few bruises on his face. It was hard to look at. I turn away. The cold didn't bother me anymore and I entered the water completely. Not far of course. Just to my chest. I found a huge rock underwater and decided to stand on it for a while. Meditation at it's best. If only I could relax. About ten meters to my left a guy was swimming. His were strong but one side was kind of off. Even if his face was in the water I knew it was him. He was alone too. I jumped off my rock and went outside. I was about to grab my towel when I noticed his pink flip flops beside my stuff.

''You've gotta be kidding me.''-I say and groan. ''You are so ing annoying.''-I say.

''Thanks.''-he said from behind and I turn quickly. He was standing so close the water from his body sprayed me when he moved. He was glistening in the sun and hair was getting to his eyes. He was looking at me with one closed eye because the sun was bothering him. Without realizing I lifted my arm and positioned my hand right above my head to block the sun from his face. He opened his eye and looked at me. ''What are you doing?''-he laughed. I flinched and lowered my hand. I turned away. ''Come talk to me for a few minutes. I promise nothing more than a few minutes.''-he said and he took my hand. Apart from that time when I accidentally held hand this was the only time he held my hand. Not my wrist, my hand. He started walking and I followed. We were walking on the scorching sand for a minute or so in silence.

''How about we start over?''-he said suddenly.

''Chang Wook...''-I started but he squeezed my hand.

''Cut the crap. Don't call me that.''-he said.

''It is your name.''-I say.

''Well I know, but you don't call me by my full name.''-he said. I couldn't look at him so I looked at the ground only. If I looked at him and found him looking at me too all my barriers would crumble. ''I know it was me who tried to distance myself that morning but I was wrong, I ed up. I always chase people away and end up alone in the end. And it's always people I care about. And I was fighting off our friendship even though it was unavoidable because I really wanted you as my friend.''-he said. He kept repeating the word friend. Friendship. Not relationship. Here I was falling for him against my will while he saw me as nothing more than a good friend. I never cry because of boys, at least not the real life ones, but he managed to get the worst of me. Now I want to cry. I blink a few times chasing the tears away.

''Look, I don't belong in your celebrity life and I can't keep up with you at all. So don't try to push something that doesn't work.''-I say. We walk to the huge wooden bridge like thing that was made for the braver ones to jump off from.

''Have I acted like a celebrity to you? Ever?''-he asked and I honestly couldn't remember. ''I admit I was tough on you but I will change, I have changed. I don't want to push you away anymore.''-he said. He was still holding my hand tightly.

''Well nice for you, but what if I want to push you away now? What if it's about me now?''-I ask. We stopped near the railing and I turned to look at him. He was looking at me. Piercing me with his eyes.

''Why?''-he just asked. It was the question I feared the most. Because I didn't have a reason. I just didn't want to fall in love with him. But I can't tell him that. I was working over all kinds of answers in my hand when a blow to my side came and my hand broke loose with his. His eyes in panic were the last thing I saw before I hit the water. I was far from surface and my arms were swinging around. My lungs burned from lack of air and my heart was pumping in panic. I broke the surface and gasped for air. I looked around and familiar feeling crept up my spine. The feeling of numbness. Soon my arms and legs were paralyzed and I started to sink. I couldn't even scream for help. The only thing I felt was the fast pace of my heart. Bubbles formed on my side and a hand wrapped around my waist, pulling my up. Even though I was out my body was motionless. He swam quickly even though he was in pain. We reached the beach and he put down my body. I had my eyes open and he knew I was alive but still the panic on his face didn't fade away. He my hair pulling my body to his, rocking me back and forth. Hearing was coming back to me slowly.

''Hanna, you're safe. You're safe now. I got you.''-he was saying softly. My arm twitched and I grabbed his shoulder quickly before I lost it again. He held me tighter. Two guys approached us.

''We are so sorry. We mistook you for our friend over there. Sorry.''-they said. ''Is she gonna be okay?''-they asked.

''Don't worry about her you will be lucky enough if I don't break your necks. Go away.''-Ji Chi growled.

''Sorry.''-they said once again and ran away.

''Poor boys.''-I whisper. Ji Chi looks at me.

''Are you okay?''-he asked. I nod. ''What do you mean poor boys I was about to break their spines in two.''-he said looking pissed.

''I'm okay stop it.''-I say. I try to get up but my legs don't listen and he pulls me back to himself.

''We should go to see a doctor.''-he said.

''It happened before I will be fine.''-I say.

''Don't joke with this. I hear what that lady said. Your heart could give out.''-he said. ''And if you die because of some stupid boys just like that. I am going to revive you and kill you again myself.''-he said. I laugh. ''There's a smile.''-he said. He was right, I was smiling. It was easy if it was him. He lifted me bridal style and carried me to my towels. People were staring at us but I didn't care. I was so close to him now and I wanted it to last forever.

He put me down on my towels and I sat there for a minute. I felt like I was going to barf and my vision was full of black spots. This hasn't happened before. I stand up and sway a little, he catches my elbow.

''Hey hey what are you doing?''-he asked. I smile a little.

''Can I ask you something?''-I say. He raised an eyebrow. ''Why pink flip flops?''-I ask and I hear his sigh before my legs give out and everything goes black.

The beeping sound is about to drive me straight out of my mind. I force open my eyes only to be blinded by a bunch of lights. Ew, the hospital smell.

''Thank you for bringing her here. I hate to think what would have happened if she was alone.''-my mothers voice said.

''Don't worry she is safe now and everything is okay.''-Ji Chi said.

''She was lucky this time.''-a third voice said which sounded familiar but I couldn't put it anywhere. It was a woman's voice. ''Her heart is weakened every time something like this happens. I have never seen a Thalassophobia this strong. Maybe it is best if she avoids the sea for a while.''-she said.

''I will make sure she does.''-surprisingly it was Ji Chi who said this, not my mom.

''When can she leave the hospital?''-mom asked.

''When she wakes up.''-the woman said.

''I'm awake now.''-I say. The curtain was drawn revealing three familiar faces. My mom, Ji Chi and the shrink I met on the beach. I guess my mom called her.

''Do you know how much you scared me you...''-my mom broke down in tears. It was hard seeing your mother cry.

''I'm fine now. Don't cry.''-I say to her. She sniffles and wipes her tears away. Ji Chi put an arm around her shoulders and smiled at me. I nod at him in appreciation.

''Let's go.''-he said and helped me get up.

''I believe you heard everything I told your mother.''-the shrink said.

''Yes. I will be careful.''-I say.

''I think I heard that before.''-she said. ''No sea for you. Your heart can't take it.''-she said.

''I understand.''-I say. I hop off my bed and wear my flip flops. I was still wearing my beach dress. The shrink took out my IV and put on a band aid.

''You're good to go.''-she said.

''Thank you.''-I said reaching for my purse but Ji Chi was quicker and he carried it for me.

''I was not hit by a car you know.''-I say poking him and he bends in pain. ''Oh my god, I'm sorry I forgot.''-I say gasping. He laughs.

''I'm kidding, it doesn't hurt that much anymore.''-he said. ''I barely feel it.''-he said.

''But you do feel it.''-I say.

''A little tiny bit.''-he said. ''When I lost my luggage, I only had my sneakers so I had to buy some flip flops. And the only my size they had that late were this pink ones.''-he said and I looked at him. ''You asked me about my flip flops.''-he said. I laugh a little.

''But you have your stuff now, so why wear them?''-I ask.

''I've grown fond of them.''-he said.

''You're an idiot.''-I say.

''Yes, I have been told I can be quite annoying.''-he said.

''True.''-I say and we laugh.

''Thank God we can go back to being normal.''-mom sighed next to me.

''Oh I am not so sure about that.''-I say and they both stop and stare at me. ''I'm joking, come on.''-I say and they start walking again.

''This one is mine.''-Ji Chi said unlocking a huge car. Volkswagen Tiguan. Wow.

''Wow... you can really lay low.''-I whisper.

''I heard that.''-he said opening the door for me. I enter the car and he closes the door behind me. I reach and pull on the seat belt, I watched too many dramas to don't know how this may go. With him reaching behind me to put it on for me, no, not happening. Then I might do something stupid like kissing him. He entered the drivers side after opening the door for my mom, who waited for it. She is such a princess. I saw him eyeing my belt and I smirked. ''What's so funny?''-he asked.

''Nothing.''-I say and remove the smirk from my face. He pulled out sunglasses from the glove compartment and put them on. ''Too shiny..''-I said covering my face.

''Oh... her whisper is the Lucifer.''-he sang and started dancing with his arms.

''Stop.. oh my God.''-I said covering my eyes.

''Where have I heard that before?''-mom asked us and Ji Chi started laughing.

''You're really deep in K pop aren't you?''-he asked. I just shook my head and stared out the window while we drove off the parking lot.

''When did you get the car?''-I asked.

''Hyun Woo got it for me.''-he said.

''Where is he then?''-I ask.

''With his sister.''-he said. I suddenly remember the lady from yesterday. ''It was not a date.''-Ji Chi said suddenly.

''I didn't ask.''-I say.

''But you thought about it.''-he said.

''No I didn't.''-I say.

''Yes you did. If you didn't you would defend yourself while looking at me not trough the window.''-he was right. I looked at him. He was focused on the road. One hand on the shift and other on the wheel. His forearms were striped with veins and small twitching muscles. He gave of that manly aura when he drove and I liked that. I liked everything about him. Here I was, trying to distance myself from him so I don't fall in love, but I was only falling deeper every time he was near.