Yunho still didn't go to the pool to train after that day.

He appreciated the moment, and the fact that Changmin tried to get him to swim again, but he couldn't bring himself to begin training again. While Changmin tried to coax him to go back to the pool every day, he was still afraid of the water and what the future held for him in the pool. While Changmin didn't force Yunho to go to the pool, he did force him to go on runs. Day by day, Changmin took him for longer and longer runs, perhaps realizing that that was all the training that Yunho was going to get.

Soon, they were clocking in the full 15 kilometers within the 50-minute mark, which was a first for Yunho since the poisoning incident. Still, though, Yunho felt no sense of achievement. The only emotion he felt was relief at the end of the run that it was finally over and he would be able to hide away in his room afterwards. His days were going by much too slowly, but still, somehow, the end of the break approached much too quickly.

When there was only a week or so left of the break, his father knocked on his door one night and came in. He smiled and sat down next to Yunho.

"Did you have a good time here?"

Yunho nodded.

"That's good."

There was a silence. Yunho's father didn't talk much, usually, and Yunho probably wasn't the most personable son in the world, either. So Yunho was sitting in bed, just looking into his lap, when his father spoke again.

"Yunho… I just want to know why you haven't been going to the pool."

Yunho almost shuddered at the mere word, 'pool', and had to take some breaths before speaking again.

"They've been pushing me really hard at the Village," said Yunho, feeling a bit defensive. "I need a break once in a while, too. I've barely ever had a break from training my entire life."

His father nodded. "Of course. I wasn't trying to push you."

Yunho sighed.

"Maybe you should stay here and train with your old coach for a little while, just to get yourself back in shape," suggested Yunho's father. "And then you can go back to the Village and –"

"They won't take me seriously if I stay," said Yunho sharply. "If you'd seen how hard they were pushing me before the break…" Yunho sighed. "They didn't even want to let me come home this break."

There was a silence as his father just listened, and didn't say anything. And it was the silence that broke him.

"And I just… my body's still a mess, I don't know what I'm doing, and I feel like – I feel like I'm just sabotaging myself at this point. My endurance is shot, my technique is all over the place, and… and I know coaching for elite swimming's been expensive as it is. They won't fund my training outside the Village."

Yunho stopped talking, because his father didn't need to hear this.

He had enough things to worry about without Yunho burdening him as well.

His father sighed and spoke quietly.

"Yunho… things happen. Maybe you weren't meant to go this quad."

Yunho clenched his teeth. He hated that – hated the very likely possibility that he won't be able to go to the Olympics. He hated himself for not being able to endure the tough training that his coach has been putting him through, and hated the fact that his body didn't do what he wanted it to. He hated that he didn't want to swim anymore.

"Not making it this year isn't the end of the world. There is also the next quad."

"There is no next quad. I'm not going to do this for another four years," snapped Yunho without even realizing it.

When he did realize that he'd snapped and sworn at his father, he dropped his head and hugged his knees in shame.

"I'm sorry. I just meant… I've… already done it for long enough."

"Yunho," said his father seriously. He took both of Yunho's hands in his own. He stayed silent until Yunho looked up into his father's eyes. And then he spoke quietly and genuinely. "You don't have to do this."

Tears gathered in Yunho's eyes, because Yunho saw that his father understood. He saw how proud his father was of him, despite being Yunho this physical and emotional wreck, and that he just wanted the best for Yunho.

A tear fell, and Yunho wiped it away.

"You don't have to do it."

"But I'm so close," said Yunho quietly. "I'm so… so close."

"I know. But that's okay."

"You've sacrificed so much for me to get here," murmured Yunho. His tears were falling steadily now. "I… I can't quit."

"Yunho," said his father with a small chuckle. "It would make your mother and me miserable to know that you're doing this for us. It was only our duty as parents for us to support such a talented and motivated son. And no matter where you want to stop your journey, Yunho, we won't regret it one bit. I promise. You say we made sacrifices for you, but you made more sacrifices than anyone else. And you are allowed to stop. Whenever you want."

Yunho squeezed his eyes shut.

"Just until the end of Olympic Trials," whispered Yunho. "And then I'm done."

His father nodded.

"Okay. Whatever you want, Yunho."

And that was it.

Nine months.

Yunho only had nine short months to get ready for Olympic Trials.

Yunho and Changmin returned to the Village the day before their first day of scheduled training, and Yunho finally forced himself to do a full day of workouts with Changmin, but they opted for the dry gym to do strengthening exercises and running instead of going to the pool.

At the end of the day, the two of them settled into their rooms again, and while Yunho lay in bed wordlessly and unmoving, Changmin sat on his bed and just watched Yunho. Eventually, Yunho spoke.

"It ," muttered Yunho. "I just want a break, but my job description is literally not taking breaks. I've worked every single day for 18 years of my life, but a few weeks of no training and it's all crumbled down and it's impossible to build it back up."

Changmin plopped down on his bed too, and sighed.

"Hyung… you're really not doing as badly as you think you are," said Changmin. "Even now, you're probably in better shape than some of the other national team members."

"No one cares," replied Yunho harshly. "If I'm not back to being 100 percent, no one cares. They want me to win medals."

"Who are 'they'?" asked Changmin.

Yunho turned his head towards Changmin, speechless.

"This was all supposed to be about you, not about anyone else," reasoned Changmin. "It doesn't matter who wants you to do what. It's all about you. Who cares what other people think?"

Yunho chuckled despite himself. That was such a Changmin thing to say.

"But really."

"You can say that because you haven't had anyone help you get here," argued Yunho. "I'm different. I had my parents pay for really expensive training and competitions, my coaches who work longer hours than I do, a university who gave me a scholarship for swimming, my fans who follow me everywhere… If I don't win, they'll think I'm an ungrateful little ."

"No one will think you're an ungrateful little if they knew how hard you've worked all these years."

Changmin looked at Yunho.

"It's not like they'll give you all the acknowledgement you deserve if you win, either. Swimming is a thankless sport," said Changmin. "We work so, so hard for a sport that doesn't get the most coverage, or the most support. Like, if you had a worlds gold in baseball or something, you'd be a celebrity. You have a worlds gold in swimming, which is arguably harder to get than a gold in baseball, and still… everyone only watches swimming once every four years. Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"I don't know," said Yunho quietly.

And, before he could stop himself, he was saying the words that he had never, ever wanted to say.

"I don't even know why this is so important anymore."