Yunho did force himself to go to weight training, which had been extra tough since he hadn't eaten anything all day. Between that and the private training, he went to the cafeteria to force some protein bars into his mouth before he forced his unwilling self to the pool. As he expected, his coach was extra tough on Yunho as punishment for skipping out on practice that day. Yunho knew that he was crying by the end of the training session, even though he was wet, because his eyes stung so much he could barely even keep them open. Yunho actually ended up getting pretty close to his 200-metre butterfly personal best, within a second – but he didn't beat it. So he stayed until two in the morning at the pool, going through the extra exercises, and by the end, he had thrown up multiple times and his whole body was shaking in exhaustion.

When Yunho was dismissed, for the first time ever, he just walked past the showers and just dried himself off with a towel in an attempt to get to bed sooner.

Yunho was surprised, though, when he saw that the light was still on in his room when he walked in; Changmin wasn't sleeping yet today.

"Why aren't you asleep?" managed Yunho, hoping his eyes weren't too red. When he looked up at Changmin, though, he realized that Changmin's were – and Changmin looked more upset than Yunho had ever seen him.

Instead of answering, Changmin stood for Yunho when Yunho trudged into the room with a large paper bag.

"I got you some stuff for while you were gone to make you try to feel better," said Changmin's quiet voice.

Yunho looked up at Changmin – Yunho was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to just collapse onto his bed, but he swallowed and took the bag silently from Changmin and sat down on his bed with it.

It was heavier than Yunho expected it to be.

Changmin sat down next to him while Yunho opened the bag.

All of Yunho's and even Changmin's favourite things filled the bag – from chocolate bars to cookies and small cakes, to soft socks, to new fluffy swim towels, to the book Yunho mentioned to Changmin in passing. Changmin's gold from Nationals and his two medals from Worlds were in the pile too.

Yunho felt his eyes fill up with tears at Changmin's thoughtful gesture, but he blinked them away and put the bag down. He would have to deal with this tomorrow, because he was just too exhausted right now.

“Thank you, Changmin,” managed Yunho. He put the bag down on the floor next to his bed and lifted his blanket with his sore arms and got under them, and Changmin stood up hesitantly.

"I'm so sorry," whispered Changmin. "I know none of this even matters, but I didn't know what else I could do, and I – I'm so sorry that I don't know how to make you feel better."

"I do feel better," clarified Yunho. "I do, Changmin, I really do, I – thank you."

Changmin still looked upset, maybe even more upset than Yunho – and so Yunho sat up again; maybe this couldn't wait until tomorrow morning.

Yunho picked up the bag again, and he reached inside the bag and fished out the worlds medals. Let's start there.

"Changmin these are yours. I can't take these. You should already have these framed up on your wall at home."

"What wall," whispered Changmin. "What home."

Yunho froze.

"I don't want them," said Changmin sounding a bit disgusted. "I don't care about them, and I don't want them."

"You're not allowed to say that," chastised Yunho. "Come here."

Changmin shuffled closer, and Yunho hung the medals around Changmin's neck.

"You deserve this, you –"

Changmin pulled the medals from his neck, clearly still upset.

"I don't care about these. I don't care what you say, in the end, they're just pieces of metal."

"Changmin, these aren't just pieces of metal, this means that you are the fastest swimmer in the country, and this means that –"

"Who cares? It doesn't even matter," snapped Changmin. "It doesn't matter who can swim faster than who. It doesn't matter. None of it means anything."

Yunho sighed.

He remembered getting so very angry at Changmin when he first heard Changmin say them, but he wasn't angry today.

He was tired, but today, he understood.

He knew what Changmin meant.

"You keep these," said Yunho anyway. "They're yours, and having these don't mean anything for me."

Changmin silently wrapped the ribbons around the medals, and looked down at his feet.

"But I hope that one day, you'll be proud of having these. Because you worked really hard, and you deserve them."

Yunho got up and wrapped his arms around Changmin to give him a tight, long hug. "And thank you so much for all of this."

Changmin simply lifted his arms and returned the hug.

Hating the water was such a foreign feeling to Yunho.

His entire life, he had wanted to swim, and he couldn't go more than two days without swimming – but now, he didn't even want to look at the pool, never mind go inside it.

Just twelve more days.

Yunho pushed through the days with gritted teeth, counting down to eleven, ten, nine –

Then finally…

"Hyung, we're going to miss the train home if you don't get up now."

Yunho sat up slowly from his bed, and saw Changmin standing beside the bed with yet another bag in his hand.

Neither of them told anyone about what was happening – they both knew that they couldn't risk that.

Changmin had taken to this hard – harder than Yunho himself.

Changmin didn't talk as much, he spent more time in bed too, and sometimes woke up in the middle of the night in tears – waking Yunho too, in the process – but Yunho always pretended to be asleep, thinking that Changmin might appreciate that more. Changmin was half-hearted during practice, and it was obvious. But Changmin was this past Worlds' team hero; thankfully, he got away with a lot.

If he only committed half of his heart to swimming, he committed the other half to Yunho.

He stuck by Yunho for as long as he could, and every day, he was always there with a bag of treats for Yunho.

Yunho didn't have much time to get through Changmin's treats, so he had an arm full of it to take home for the break.

But on the train home, when the cart reached their compartment, Changmin apparently hadn't finished buying treats for him; he still put a hand on Yunho's thigh.

"Do you want anything from the cart?" asked Changmin once they were in the train.

Yunho smiled and shook his head.

"No," said Yunho.

Changmin bought a few chocolate bars anyway, and handed them to Yunho. "Here."

"I'm okay, Changmin."

"Let's share one."

Changmin opened one, and broke it off and handed the bigger piece to Yunho.

Yunho hesitated, but took it eventually. "Thanks."

Changmin smiled and bit into his chocolate bar.

"You really don't have to do any of this," said Yunho quietly.

Changmin looked away and through the window. Yunho did the same.

The trees had lost their leaves now, and only thin, bare branches remained – it was going to be winter soon.

"I don't know what else to do," whispered Changmin. "I have been through this, I should know what I can do to make you feel better, but I just… don't know how."

Just the fact that you're here makes me feel better, thought Yunho, looking at Changmin. More than you'll ever know.

But he couldn't say the words aloud.

Instead, he turned his head towards the window again.

A few light snowflakes blew by.

When they got home, it was obvious that Changmin and Yunho's parents had been talking a lot more often and gotten a lot closer than Yunho knew.

His parents had surprised Changmin by renovating a spare room upstairs that they were using for storage into a bedroom for him.

"Here's your wall to put your medals on," said Yunho with a smile, wrapping an arm around Changmin's waist.

"I can't –" said Changmin, but Yunho's parents wouldn't have any of it.

"You can," said Yunho's mother. "Make this your home, Changmin, for as long as you want it to be."

Changmin had smiled back with those watery eyes.

Once break started, the last thing Yunho wanted to do was swim – in fact, he didn't even want to look at the pool – but he had taken Changmin to his swim club on his first day to ask if they could train there for the break. They were given permission to swim before and after the classes and free swim times were over – before 8am or after 10pm.

Changmin got his swims in in the mornings and then jogged around the neighbourhood sometime in the afternoon. The rest of the time, Changmin spent time with Yunho's parents or came to Yunho's room to keep him company. He didn't really try that hard to make conversation with Yunho, but would sit at Yunho's desk while Yunho lay in bed.

Yunho forced himself to get up for meals with his parents, but spent most of the day lying in bed.

A few days in, his father came into his room after supper.

"Is anything wrong?" asked his father worriedly. "This is so unlike you. You look so sad, Yunho."

Yunho didn't even think before he shook his head. He forced out a smile.

"Nothing's wrong. I've just been training hard, so I'm just happy to have a break to rest."

His father reluctantly accepted the answer, and squeezed Yunho's hand.

"I'm so proud of you, Yunho."

Yunho was sure that was meant to be supportive, but to Yunho just then, it just sounded like he meant that he wasn't allowed to stop swimming.