“Because I finally realised how important you were to me.”

   Baekhyun’s last words to Jeongri repeated themselves over and over again, burning themselves into her mind like a steady mantra. It had caught her off guard, not knowing how to reply to him. She wanted to ask Baekhyun what he meant by those words, but with Luhan’s arrival, the chance slipped away. The more that Jeongri thought about what he had said, the more confused her feelings became.

   Surely Baekhyun did not mean it in that way.

   “Because I finally realised how important you were to me.”

   The thought alone was ridiculous to entertain. It’d been years since they saw each other, it didn’t make any sense. Not only that, Jeongri had never thought of Baekhyun in that way, and there wasn’t ever a time when she suspected that he saw as more than a friend. But then a small voice in the back of her mind asked her if that was really the truth.

   Jeongri wanted to say thank you when Baekhyun broke her fall in the forest, but he looked at her for a second too long… He held her for a second too long… There was silence for a second too long... And suddenly Jeongri felt a wave of self-consciousness flood her body as those peculiar thoughts entered her mind again. She didn’t mean to scramble away without saying a word, but everything felt so strange.

   “Because I finally realised how important you were to me.”

   It was true that they had been close when they were younger, but Jeongri never saw Baekhyun then the way that she saw Kyungsoo now. Jeongri frowned deeply. If that were the case, then where did all these conflicting feelings come from.

   Thoughts of Kyungsoo drifted into Jeongri’s mind, gradually pushing away those confusing thoughts of Baekhyun to the back of her mind. Why was she even thinking of Baekhyun at a time like this? Kyungsoo was the one who should be on her mind. It sent chills down Jeongri’s spine to see Kyungsoo lying on Luhan’s back, his arms dangling limply by his side. The fact that he ended up like this after saving her made her heart quiver, hating herself for putting him in such a position.

   Memories of walking Haengbogi through Hallowmire’s Park, hand in hand with Kyungsoo, drifted into Jeongri’s mind. She sighed a little, remembering how Kyungsoo had pulled her close, kissing her for the first time in public. It seemed like it had been so long ago, yet it was only yesterday. Jeongri had felt so unsure, telling him it wasn’t meant to be like this, yet Kyungsoo replied that he wasn’t doing anything, all the while looking at her adoringly.

   “Why does this feel like it should be something more?”

   “Should it?”

   She remembered replying that she didn’t know, and she remembered the look of resignation in his face before telling her:

   “I know we promised to never complicate things with a relationship, but I want you to know that if you ever change your mind then....”

   Jeongri looked on, watching Kyungsoo’s head bob with the movements of Luhan’s footsteps. Perhaps it was fate for them both to knock on death’s door after he’d said something so poignant? Was fate telling her that she needed to stop being afraid, to grab life by the reigns and stop wasting time?

   In the distance, Luhan’s house was coming into view. The kitchen light was on, spilling light into the garden, highlighting the many white lilies that lined the borders. With a fumble of his keys, Luhan unlocked the backdoor, and they entered, letting the warmth from within engulf their shivering bodies.

   “Could you lock the door behind you, Baekhyun?” Luhan asked, chucking his keys on the table before walking away.

   The sudden mention of Baekhyun’s name was so jarring that Jeongri felt her heart skip a beat and she glanced behind her. She wasn’t surprised to see that he was still at the bottom end of the garden, he’d been trailing behind ever since they left the forest. Baekhyun glanced up at the sound of his name being called, and they both froze when his eyes met hers. They stared at each other awkwardly before Jeongri turned away first, cheeks warming again, before slipping away to find Luhan and Kyungsoo.

   She didn’t want to entertain these thoughts that were fighting for her attention. At the moment in time, she needed to be by Kyungsoo’s side. After all, he was the one who needed her the most. Jeongri greeted Sehun briefly as she passed through the kitchen, and met with Luhan in the infirmary.

   “Could you give me a hand?” Luhan asked, struggling to pull Kyungsoo off his back.

   Jeongri nodded and jumped to his side, holding Kyungsoo’s arms as they laid him down. With a grunt of effort, they managed to lie Kyungsoo onto one of the beds. Jeongri closed her eyes and sighed, she was beginning to get a headache. With another sigh, she took a seat by Kyungsoo and rested her head in her hands.

   “How do you feel?” asked Luhan, pulling up a chair beside her. He started scratching at his back, an uncomfortable expression forming on his face, “Do you want some more food? Water? Painkillers?”

   “No, it’s fine, thank you,” Jeongri said weakly, forcing a smile, “I just feel a little drained.”

   Luhan looked at her for a few moments before standing up, scratching his back once again.

   “Try and rest a little,” he said, “Listen, I’ll be back in a moment. Give me a shout if anything happens.”

   As Jeongri watched him leave, she caught a glimpse of Baekhyun as he walked past the infirmary. Unconsciously, Jeongri pulled Baekhyun’s jacket closer around her. She could hear the distinct tones of Chanyeol greeting Baekhyun as he entered the living room. Chanyeol’s dulcet tones were so deep that they rumbled through the house, but she couldn’t make out what they were talking about. The sound of the door closing further muffled their muted conversation.

   Turning away, Jeongri looked to Kyungsoo and slipped her fingers between his. With a reassuring squeeze, she lay down onto his chest, listening to the rhythmic beat of his heartbeat. She missed listening to his voice, she missed seeing his smile, she missed the feeling of being alive when she was around him. Most of all, she missed the way he looked at her. Guilt continued to linger knowing that Kyungsoo beca