Actually it's weird that the more I grow distant from her, the more I figure out the mental blueprints of how I should be treating her in many kind of occasions, like when she's mad, when she's sad, when she's being annoying;

like I suddenly just find the perfect way to fill in the hole of her imperfect soul's skin,

but when I was with her, everything just seemed so blurry that I gave up.

But, have she given up our dreams by now? I can't tell, because I told her to stop reaching out to me.

So I'm all alone with myself, trying to make an amend for a seemingly wrong decision.

Although deep down, I do hope that it is actually right, so I won't have to end up every night at the side of the bed feeling the same guilt, just like how I'm going to end up tonight.

—KTY