How could I stay

when the PAIN OF STAYING

is greater from the pain of leaving

Daesung told Seungri that Seunghyun got invitation to attend his soon-to-be-father-in-law birthday this weekend. He told him that this year the celebration is going to be cheerful as everyone was able to gather together including the Kwon’s family.

‘Young master Kwon Jiyong is attend too?’ the sound echo in the room. It was new news to Seungri to know that Seunghyun’s fiancée’s family and his cousin’s family is very close friend.

Suddenly Seungri remember what Kwong Jiyong has say to him before; he told that Seungri can ask him if he ever need help.

He will take the bet.

‘Daesung, can you do me a favour?’ Seungri ask, then begin to explain to Daesung what he was about to do.

‘I will never betray young master!’ Daesung reply, totally rejected Seungri’s plan although he did found his presence here will cause his young master nothing but trouble.

‘If you don’t comply, I’ll just going to tie you.’ Seungri threatened.

‘As if you can do that.’ Daesung said. He keep resisted for a long time and it takes all of Seungri’s negotiable skill to make him agree to help. 

‘It will be a lot easier if I disappear from your young master’s side.’ Seungri said desperately.

There was a doubt in the young butler’s face, but after that he picked up his phone and began to dial a number.

After two hours of waiting, a slender young woman walking in confidence inside the room.

‘What...? Who are you?’ she asked, bewildered. She had a long blonde hair and porcelain skin like superstar.

‘I am sorry Lady Taeyeon.’ Daesung say as he bow his head. ‘This is Lee Seungri. He is young master’s friend, and he request to see you.’ still keeping his eyes down.

A curiosity thought run through her mind. Seunghyun is a private person and she never see him bring anyone to his house. If Seunghyun let this person in front of her stay inside his house then he must be an important person to him.

Seungri look at the beautiful young woman in front of him. A tremble run through him as her hazel eyes throw dagger at him.

‘You...’ She was shock to the point she was speechless to know that Seunghyun love a man all this while. And the person was standing in front of her. She never imagine to face such humiliation like this.

She begin to walk towards Seungri. ‘What do you want from me?’ she ask.

‘I'm sorry to bother you. My name is Lee Seungri and I need your help.’ Seungri explain everything to Seunghyun’s fiancée.

‘You mean you have meet Jiyong,’ Taeyeon’s eyes lit up when she heard the guy name.

‘Yes.’ Seungri decided not to tell the whole story how he meet Kwon Jiyong at her.

After a long talk. finally she agree to help Seungri.

‘Thank you so much for helping me.’ Seungri said.

‘Just don’t get the wrong idea.’ she scoffed, and Seungri can see despise in her face. ‘I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing this because the idea of sending you back will be the best decision for all of us.’

And with Daesung’s help they manage to smuggle him without been notice by anyone. Seungri is almost paralyzed by his growing anxiety. He can’t stay focus until they safely arrive at the Kim’s family mansion. When they arrive, Taeyeon instructed her assistant to bring Seungri to the guest house.

Seungri found Kwong Jiyong already inside the house and it look like the young master was waiting for him. He assume that Seunghyun’s fiancée must contact the young master during the ride.

‘Hello, glad to see you again.’ Jiyong smiled while sitting leisurely on the puffy sofa, he was smoking cigarette.

‘I ask to see you because I need your help.’ Seungri said without hesitation.

Jiyong nod his head and was looking at him amusingly. ‘Did you get bored with my cousin already? If you looking for a new partner, I’m available.’

Seungri decided to cut Kwon Jiyong’s humor. ‘I need your help to get me back to Korea.’

‘Why?’ I thought you like to stay here.’ Jiyong shrugged at Seungri’s request.

Jiyong’s carefree and insensitive manner really made Seungri’s blood boil as he begin to feel annoyed. ‘That’s not the issue.’ He snap. ‘And this is not a joke.’

‘Yeah, I agree. It’s not a joke.’ Jiyong can’t be serious in front of this cute boy.

‘You should just stay in your cage, pretty boy. This is my cousin we talking about. I’m sure you know him very well. He is not the sort of man who give up easily once he had made up his mind.’

‘You can’t be serious,’ Seungri let out his frustration.

‘But Seunghyun is serious.’ Jiyong remark.

Hearing Seunghyun’s name feel like something has piercing his heart.

‘Tell me the reason why you want to go back. Are you saying you and him are over?’ Jiyong started smoking again.

‘No, I....,’ Seungri shuttered. ‘I just want to go home.’

Jiyong fix his gaze at Seungri’s face and made the younger boy feel uncomfortable.

Seungri turn away from Jiyong’s gaze. He try hard not to look pity. He need to leave as soon as possible. The longer he stay here the harder it would be for him to leave...no, it probably impossible for him to leave Seunghyun at all. Lust already take him like raging fever and he never imagine to feel such fierce sweet emotion again after eight years.

‘I will help you, but I want you to promise me something.’

Seungri turn his eyes to look at Jiyong.

‘Promise that you will never see each other again in this life. Then I will send you back to Korea.’

Never see each other again in this life.... Kwong Jiyong’s words really made Seungri shocked. He know that he will never see Seunghyun again once he go back to Korea, but hearing someone say to him feels like the reality had hit him hard.

Seungri still can feel Seunghyun’s warmth in his skin.

Never see Seunghyun again mean to live his life exactly like this eight years; whenever he desperately want to forget but his mind won’t allow it; whenever he unable to cry although he really want to; whenever he need to push the longing for Seunghyun inside him. He will spend his time to write off the memories one by one and acting like he move on.

His heart crush just to remember about the agonizing time, and now he had to do it all over again.

‘Well?’

Seungri force himself to take a deep breath to past the tightness in his throat. ‘It’s going to be okay’, he chant that mantra in his mind. ‘You are doing the right thing.’ His whole body was shaking.

‘I promise. I will never see him again.’ He said firmly.

‘Okay.’ Jiyong put the cigarette away then he rise up from the sofa and walk towards Seungri.

‘You’ve done a right thing.’ Jiyong smile as he put his hand on Seungri’s shoulder to give at pat.

‘Sometimes it’s better if we just accept the reality.’ Jiyong said, the smile was gone and his eyes was gazing at the empty space.   

Seungri was looking at the young master with a strange uncomfortable feeling creeping inside him.