The first eight weeks after Youri’s birth were both difficult, but also rewarding. To Luhan, who hadn’t envisioned himself as a father until much later in life, there was something revolutionary about being able to see his future in the form of his child. Youri was … immortality, in a word, and beyond precious.

Every day she grew a little bigger, every day she showed more progress, and by the time Sehun’s paternity leave was over, Luhan was more enamored with Youri than even the first time he’d held her in his arms.

Of course he was also sleep deprived, irritable from that lack of sleep, and hadn’t been able to steal more than a couple of private moments with Sehun. His personal life disappeared in a flash, replaced by Youri’s needs, Youri’s wants, and anticipating the both of them.

It was a life changing experience, being a father, and it helped that he had Sehun there to shoulder some of the responsibility.

But eventually there came a moment when Sehun said, “I have to go back to work tomorrow.”

 Youri was already asleep in her crib, the sun was setting and dinner was spread out between Sehun and Luhan.

“I was trying to do my best to ignore that fact,” Luhan said, and it was partly true. He’d been dreading Sehun going back to work, not only because it meant he’d be alone with Youri during the day, but also that it would extend to some nights.

Well, that wasn’t exclusively true. Luhan had plenty of offers for help during the day. In the first week alone without Sehun there he was expecting to be bombarded by visitors several times a day. And Sehun’s sisters had been dropping extremely blunt hints that they were more than happy to offer up babysitting duties for their only niece.

And by the next of the next week Luhan had tentative plans to get back to work. It was something he was extremely nervous about. He knew that Youri would be safe enough with Sehun’s mother most days, and Xiumin others, but it seemed the mere idea of being separated form Youri was creating anxiety in him. Even just thinking about it.

He did want to go back to work, though. He wanted to paint and bring the colors in his mind to life on both canvas and the walls of Kai’s studio.

Not to mention Eunji said it was exceptionally important to expose Youri to extended family members who she could bond with.

Sehun prodded his rice with his chopsticks and asked Luhan, “Maybe I could ask for another few days off? Maybe.”

Luhan shook his head. It wouldn’t be good for them if Sehun lost his boss’s favor in any way. “No,” he said, “I’m just … being clingy.”

Eyes narrowing, Sehun said, “We agreed that I’d only go back to work full time if you felt comfortable enough caring for Youri by yourself. That means you’ve got to be able to lift her without any major strain on your incision site.”

At the mention Luhan’s hand went to his lower stomach. He was still a little puffy from his pregnancy, the last baby weight clinging tightly to him. But he’d been relieved by how he’d been losing a steady amount of the weight he’d gained as the weeks passed. Caring for Youri, combined with a lack of sleep had eaten into his appetite, and made losing the weight easier. There was still some to go, but Luhan was satisfied. He’d heard horror stories of baby weight persisting up to a year after the birth.

“Luhan?”

Luhan let his hand fall away. “I’m okay. Really. I’m still a little sore, but that’s normal, and I’ve been able to pick up Youri for several days now without any real pain. I’ll be able to handle her.” He’d been lucky. There hadn’t been any post operation complications. He’d never had a fever, indicating infection, and the incision had never been red, inflamed or overly painful.

After a second Sehun gave a nod and let himself take a bite of his rice. “Okay, but you call me if you need anything. I’ll come home during my lunch break, too.”

Luhan suggested, “How about you just take Youri with you to work? Put something shiny in front of her and she’ll be good until she needs to eat every couple of hours.”

Sehun jabbed his chopstick at Luhan. “You joke, but I’ve had that thought.”

“I bet you have,” Luhan said in a flippant way. But he’d had the same idea himself. If paint fumes weren’t terribly bad for Youri, Luhan had been more than willing to consider the baby sling that he had in Youri’s nursery that he could wear her in for hours while he worked.

With a sigh, Sehun said, “I just wish Suho were here. I’d feel even better if he could check in on your and hover in my place.”

Luhan offered Sehun a comforting smile. Suho had been gone for weeks now, off to America to integrate his company into an American conglomerate. Sehun talked often to Suho on the phone, usually once every couple of days, but Luhan knew it wasn’t the same.

Suho said he was enjoying America, even if the food was his least favorite part. He was working a lot, but his apartment was nice, the weather was better, and he’d gotten to play tourist a couple of times and see interesting things.

Luhan had a couple of photos on his phone already of Suho at the Statue of Liberty, the World Trade Memorial, Madison Square Garden, and a couple more places that Luhan wanted to visit himself.

“He said he’d be back for Chen’s wedding,” Luhan reminded. “That’s only a few months away.”

“True,” Sehun smiled. “And I guess this is just one more thing to get used to. This is what happens to adults. They grow up and grow apart. Chen’s been talking about moving to Taiwan, you know. He got offered a job there. He’d talking it over with Eunji.”

That made Luhan freeze up. “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” Sehun confirmed. “And Chen said Eunji wants to do some research for a while with a grant she was approved for, so she could work anywhere. And you said Kris is probably going to move back to Canada at the end of the year, right?”

That would only add to the fact that D.O. only managed to visit Korea infrequently, and

Lay had half a year left in Korea. Plus, who knew where Tao would end up after he graduated. Luhan hated that Sehun was all too right about their friends drifting off, even if it was ultimately a good thing.

“I guess,” Luhan said, placing a strip of beef into Sehun’s bowl, “we should just enjoy the moments that we have now.”

Ignoring the meal, Sehun leaned across the table for a brief kiss. “Good advice.”

Luhan tried to keep that in mind for the rest of the night and into the next morning when he was woken by soft fingers pushing through the bangs on his forehead and Sehun whispering in his ear, “I’m heading off to work now.”

Luhan cracked bleary eyes open at the clock next to the bed. It was barely six and the sun was still low in the sky. “Youri?” He meant to ask if he needed to get up and take care of her, but he certainly wasn’t a morning person.

Thankfully Sehun was fluent in his lack of ability to speak in the morning.

“I already checked in on her,” Sehun said, smelling like he was freshly shaven and doused with Luhan’s favorite cologne. “She’s still sleeping, her diaper is dry, and she ate about two hours ago. You might be able to sneak another hour of sleep out of her, two if  you’re lucky.”

Luhan curled onto his side, trying to make Sehun less blurry. “You’re going to work.”

Lowly, Sehun laughed. “Yes, Luhan. I’m going to work now.”

Dry lips pressed against Luhan’s cheek and he sighed happily. “Okay.”

Sehun laughed again. “I’ll see you during my lunch break.”

“Work hard,” Luhan said, giving up on waking up properly and burrowing deeper back into his blankets.

He heard Sehun said, “The baby monitor is right next to you. You’ll hear Youri when she cries. I love you.”

Sehun might have said more, but Luhan was asleep by then.

He did wake an hour and a half later when Youri cried. And unlike his attempt to deal as little with Sehun’s gentle wakeup as possible, his body was already conditioned to respond to Youri with ferocity. Seconds after her first call he was sitting up, pushing away the blanket that had kept the warmth in, and making his way to the nursery.

“I’m here, I’m here,” Luhan said, wiping away the sleepiness and trying to keep a grin on his face for Youri. He lifted her from her crib and shuffled towards the kitchen where her bottle was waiting.

When she was settled into the crook of his arm, away at her bottle, Luhan told her, “I know, you’d much prefer your daddy to do this. He’s the morning person.” Luhan was more than happy to be up late with Youri, changing her atomic waste diapers and providing her appropriate stimulus until she fell asleep. But Sehun was most certainly the morning parent. Most mornings Sehun got up and fed Youri before Luhan was even aware of the world around him.

“Your daddy had to go back to work starting today,” Luhan said, carefully watching the bottle for any air bubbles that would create indigestion for her. “Trust me, you want that as little as I do, but he has to. He’d got to make money to start saving for all those shoes you’re going to want him to buy you.”

Youri gave a grunt as she continued to feed. It was perfectly normal, but it made Luhan pause.

“Or,” he said upon further reflection, “he’s got to start saving up for that ultra-expensive telescope you’re going to ask for so you can study the universe around you and become the most brilliant astrophysicist ever.” Luhan leaned closer to her and whispered, “Whichever you prefer.”

Luhan had imagined that the first couple of days alone with Youri would be lonely. He’d gotten more than a little used to hearing the constant chatter from Sehun. Constant companionship was something he’d taken for granted, even when he and Sehun disagreed on something and didn’t speak for hours.

But as expected there were plenty of other people to keep his spirits high in the first couple of days.

On Monday and Tuesday Lay, freshly arrived back in town, spent most of his time with Luhan, accompanied by Xiumin. Wednesday Luhan was happy to have Chen for company, Thursday all three of Sehun’s sisters showed up, and Friday saw the appearance of Chanyeol, Xiumin again, Kris and Tao all in the span of eight hours.

And after a full weekend together with Sehun, the three of them reunited as a family, Luhan was better prepared for what the immediate future would bring for a substantial amount of time.

With Luhan set to leave Youri with Sehun’s mother on Tuesday and go to work with Kai for the first time in months, Luhan was pretty much expecting the day before that, Monday, to go the same as the mass of people that had appeared on Friday.

Instead, already grumpy from the fact that Sehun hadn’t spent the night and Luhan had been up the whole night with Youri by himself, he opened the door at just after nine to see Baekhyun standing on his doormat.

“No,” Luhan said, fighting past the headache thumping in his head, to remain a decent human being.

Baekhyun crossed his arms. “Is that the most gracious way to thank the person who was willing to let you die? I think not?

“Baekhyun,” Luhan groaned out. “Youri was fussy the whole night and sniffling and I’m paranoid right now she’s getting a cold. That, in turn, is making me think that I’ve exposed her to too many people or that someone I trust lied about having a cold themselves. I got about forty minutes of sleep total last night, I have a headache, Sehun’s so far behind in his work that I can’t drop this on him until he gets caught up, and no offense, but I really don’t want to deal with your right now.”

There went his attempt to be a decent human being.

 Youri’s cry sounded behind Luhan and he winced. He’d thought for sure that she was going down for a rest after hours and hours of angry fussing. He’d clearly been wrong.

“Firstly,” Baekhyun said, breezing past Luhan without being given permission to enter the apartment, “none of us would get within a mile of Youri if we had a cold, so you can shut up about that right now.”

Luhan ran a hand over his face. “Fine. But I can’t handle--”

“Secondly,” Baekhyun said, “you look like .”

Baekhyun headed straight to the kitchen where he washed his hands thoroughly, making sure to scrub soap between his fingers and up to his forearms.

“Thanks,” Luhan said in an irritated way. “I appreciate that.”

Baekhyun dried his hands on a nearby towel, then Luhan was trailing after him as he walked quickly to the bedroom.

“The less way to say that,” Baekhyun said, lifting Youri like she was spun of crystal and infinitely fragile, “would be that you look like you need a power nap.” Baekhyun reached for a nearby stuffed animal and shook it slightly in front of Youri, rocking a little as he paced the length of the room.

Against the odds, Youri began to settle, and Luhan leaned back against the nearby wall with exhaustion.

“I kind of want to talk to you about something,” Baekhyun said, swaying. “So I propose a trade, having seen your current predicament. You got get an hour power nap, I’ll keep this kid entertained, and then afterwards we can talk. Deal?”

“No deal,” Luhan said right away, no matter how impressed he was at Baekhyun’s baby handling skills. He’d always been there when his friends and Sehun’s held Youri, fed her, or just played with her. He’d left the room a few times, but always come back quickly. He wasn’t about to leave Baekhyun on his own for an hour, no matter how badly Luhan wanted the sleep.

Baekhyun snorted, “I’m not exactly going to make off with her in the night.”

Luhan gave him a cynical look. “No doubt because you realize you wouldn’t get five minutes away before the hand of god would come down on you.”

Stilling for a moment, at least until Youri began to fuss again, then Baekhyun was moving once more, he said, “Luhan, I’m about to become a father myself in about a week. I’ve taken all the classes, I’ve got my baby CPR certificate, I know all the right ways to hold a baby, feed a baby, and even swaddle a baby. I’ve even logged hours with other babies, to get ready for my own. So you’re crazy if you think I can’t handle taking care of Youri for an hour while you get some sleep so you don’t accidentally drop her when you’re so deprived you misjudge the grip you have on her.”

As angry as Baekhyun made him feel, and as insulting as he could be, the past few nights being the only one getting up to take care of Youri every few hours, and dealing with the strain it caused, was eating away at his sanity, among other things.

“Luhan,” Baekhyun said, and he gestured down to Youri with his chin. “I can take care of her for an hour. She’s safe with me, now go get some rest. I’m going to take her into the living room, tire her out, and then when you wake up from your nap, she’ll want to go down for hers.”

Baekhyun was an most of the time, one that Luhan preferred to enjoy in small increments, but he had proven himself before in the past. And at the very least, he was Sehun’s trusted friend. Luhan knew for sure he’d taken those baby classes he professed to, and was trustworthy.

And god did Luhan need sleep.

He hadn’t realized until Sehun had gone back to his own house, needing to spent all his free time catching up on work, how much Sehun was actually helping. Luhan had been under the assumption that they were splitting their responsibility to take care of Youri fifty-fifty. It was looking less and less like that now.

“Fine,” Luhan said eventually, unable to deny that Youri was settled in Baekhyun’s arms, not crying any longer, and was at least mildly entertained. “But I’m only taking an hour nap. That’s it.”

“Fine,” Baekhyun cut back. “I’ll just take Youri and we’ll go watch a drama.” Then, nose turned up, Baekhyun breezed past Luhan on his way to the living room.

Luhan shook his head slowly in uncertainty.

Then he made a beeline to his bed, collapsed on it, and slept for two hours, not one.

In fact he probably would have slept for longer, absolutely exhausted, but he heard Sehun’s voice clearly demand, “My god, Baekhyun, do it again! That’s awesome.”

Baekhyun said something in response, but Luhan was trying to figure out why he could hear Sehun in the first place as he rolled from the bed and stumbled to his feet ungracefully.

Sehun, he discovered seconds later, wasn’t actually in the apartment. Instead Baekhyun had his phone out and was holding it up so Sehun could see Youri properly.

“She’s pretty advanced for her age,” Baekhyun said, turning the phone back on himself for just a second so Luhan could see that they were sharing a skype call.

Their focus quickly became Luhan’s as he realized why they were marveling. No longer a newborn, at two and a half months Youri was more than capable of making out the shapes above her, and Baekhyun had set her on a soft blanket on the floor, and placed a low hanging mobile over her. From it were all sorts of dangling shapes and colors, and Youri was just able to reach for them, her tiny fingers swatting at the items of interest.

And cooing. Luhan could hear Youri cooing for the first time. Mostly she just grunted and make short noises of irritation. Cooing was … enough to make Luhan’s knees feel weak with affection.

“Aren’t you supposed to be working?” Luhan asked coming up behind Baekhyun. He gave Sehun a wink across the phone and then leaned over so he could inspect Youri. “I see you are capable of not messing things up,” Luhan told Baekhyun. “Impressive.”

Sehun laughed audibly and said, “Luhan, I’m going to have to work through my lunch today, but I’ll come home to you tonight. Okay?”

Luhan ignored the way that Baekhyun made an exaggerated gagging sound. “Sounds good. I’ll see you tonight.”

“You’ve gotten your hourly baby dose, Sehun,” Baekhyun said when he turned the phone away from Luhan. “I’ll text you later or something.”

As Baekhyun ended the call, Luhan knelt over Youri and dropped a sloppy kiss to . “There’s my girl,” he said, immediately feeling better that she was in his line of sight again. “And you look like you’re still in one piece. Good.”

“I said,” Baekhyun told him, “that’s I’m more than capable of taking care of a baby.”

Most of the advice books and blogs that Luhan had read, and he’d read a lot, said that at close to three months Youri was just starting to recognize faces. It was possible that she was recognizing him as her parent. Luhan really hoped so.

“So,” Baekhyun said from behind him. “Can we talk now?”

Luhan hefted Youri up and slid a finger into her diaper. It was thankfully dry. Eyes narrowing, he asked, “Did you change her?” There was no way her diaper had been dry for over three hours.

“Just for practice,” Baekhyun said, like it wasn’t a big deal he’d handled someone else’s kid’s dirty diaper. “And yes, I used baby wipes, baby powder, and made sure the diaper was secure before dressing her back in that atrocious romper.”

Luhan arched an eyebrow as he tucked an arm around Youri. “Sehun’s sister bought Youri this onesie. It’s not terrible, and you’re not exactly a fashionista.”

“Anyway,” Baekhyun brushed off, “she’s changed and happy. I wasn’t sure about your feeding schedule, so you might be due for one soon.”

Feeling indebted, Luhan said, “You did a good job, Baekhyun. Thank you.”

Indifferently, Baekhyun brushed off, “She’s a good kid. Must get it from Sehun. Certainly not you.”

The words were cutting, but there was the barest hint of a smile on Baekhyun’s face.

Luhan made sure to elbow Baekhyun in the side as he headed to the kitchen for a bottle. “What did you want to talk about?”

Baekhyun trailed after him. “I want to talk about … babies. And stuff.”

“And stuff?” Luhan teased. “Could you be a little less vague, please.”

Baekhyun leaned an elbow up onto a countertop as Luhan popped open the refrigerator for one of the prepared bottles. “I have some questions about how you felt before Youri was born.”

Luhan paused. “You’re not pregnant, Baekhyun. Taeyeon is. Right? Or do you need to share something?”

“Right,” Baekhyun said rolling his eyes exaggeratedly. “I know that, Captain Obvious. But lately, these last few weeks, I’ve been feeling …”

The apprehension was all over Baekhyun’s face.

“All new parents feel anxious about the baby before it comes,” Luhan said, setting the bottle to be warmed. “That’s normal. You should worry if that anxiety goes away suddenly. And it won’t after the birth, either. Let me make that clear. You’ll just be more anxious after the baby is born. I’ve been told this fear lasts until your child is well into their adult years, or maybe never goes away at all. So yay for that.”

Baekhyun’s hand came down heavily on the countertop. It wasn’t a slam, and neither Luhan nor Youri were startled, but there was desperation nearly vibrating from Baekhyun.

“It’s not anxiety,” he insisted.

Luhan asked, “Then what is it?”

Baekhyun winced. “It’s …”

After a lengthy pause, Luhan suggested, “Maybe you should talk to Sehun instead? He is your friend, and he might be more able to relate to you than I do. I had, and still have, a whole bunch of hormones pumping through my body. I’m not the more rational person on this subject right now.”

Without preamble, Baekhyun said, “Taeyeon wants me to be involved. She wants me to feel her stomach and talk to our baby and be father of the year, but I look at her and I’m so scared of that baby that my skin starts to itch. It itches like I’ve gotten poison ivy. And then I start thinking about what a horrible father I’m going to be, and how I don’t know what I’m doing, and how I’m going to ruin everything. That’s not normal, Luhan. All new fathers have worries. I have obsessions.”

Luhan handed Youri over to Baekhyun who held her confidently.

“See that?”

Baekhyun frowned. “What?”

“That.” Luhan nodded to Youri. “See how easy that was for you?”

“Youri’s not my kid,” Baekhyun said in a less than patient way. “I don’t have the same freak outs over her as I do about my daughter.”

Luhan’s eyebrows shot up. “Daughter?”

Baekyhun groaned. “Don’t tell anyone, okay? Taeyeon and I kind of found out by accident. We want it to be a surprise to most of our friends.”

A daughter. Baekhyun was going to have a daughter. Luhan was certain that was the world righting itself and balancing things out.

“A daughter,” Luhan said. “Congratulations.” Then he focused Baekhyun back on Youri. “What I mean about this is that you took her instinctively. You held her with care and caution because something in you knew to do it without having to think about it. That means that whatever these thoughts are that you’re having, they’re not something instinctive. They have to be coming from somewhere, and if you learn to let go of them, they won’t persist.”

“Easier said than done,” Baekhyun sighed out.

Luhan tapped the side of the bottle to test out the warmth. “You said you start to have physical symptoms of these thoughts?”

“My skin literally crawls,” Baekhyun replied.  “It takes everything in me not to try and scratch my skin off.”

“You sure you wouldn’t rather talk to Sehun about this? He had a lot of fears going into Youri’s birth. He probably had a lot of the concerns that you have now.”

Baekhyun said, “Sehun’s got his own to worry about. He’s in therapy for it. The last thing he needs is for me to pile mine on. So, ah, did you ever even sort of feel that way about Youri?”

When the bottle was warm enough, Luhan handed it to Bakehyun and said, “See if she’s interested in eating. I don’t hear any cries for it, but you never know.” A moment later he said, “I’d lay awake at night for hours and hours before Youri was born, and it had nothing to do with how uncomfortable pregnancy is at the end. I was convinced that I’d do everything wrong, mess up royally, and let Sehun down. I never had any physical symptoms of that, but I felt it inside me. The worry.”

“Do you think there’s something wrong with me?” Bakehyun asked, looking vulnerable at the question. He fed the bottle to Youri easily. “I can handle other babies so easily. I’ve forced myself to take all the classes, read all the books, and learn everything, but I struggle to touch my wife’s stomach because I think I’ll hurt her somehow.”

Baehyun sounded like he needed therapy, but Luhan wasn’t sure if it was right to advise that. Some people took to it easily, and almost naturally, like Sehun. Some people resisted. And for some people, they could work their issues out without it. Therapy certainly didn’t solve everything.

“Baekhyun,” Luhan said quietly, watching him feed Youri. “What’s your relationship like with your father?”

Defensively, Baekhyun demanded, “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Nothing, for all I know,” Luhan said with a shrug. “But Sehun’s issues with Youri had everything to do with Seoyoung. Your issues seem to be about hurting your child. And that makes you feel ill. One might … draw a conclusion.”

For a long time Baekhyun was quiet. In fact Youri demolished nearly all of her bottle before he had anything to say.

Then finally it was only, “My father hurt my mother.”

“And you,” Luhan assumed.

Curtly, Baekhyun said, “He drank. There were accidents.”

Accidents.

Luhan very much doubted a man hurting his spouse, or a father hurting his son, was anything but an accident.

“He drank?” Luhna prompted. He reached a hand out for Youri and it never ceased to amaze him how her fingers curled around the digit he offered her so easily.

Looking pale, Baekhyun said, “He had a bad back injury. He got it working before I was born, and there were pain pills he took, but he always said they didn’t help like the alcohol did. My mother loved him so much, and he loved her. It’s not that he didn’t love her. He loved her more than she loved him, but he just drank. He drank until it consumed him, because he was desperate to make the pain go away. And he never knew how much he hurt her until after the alcohol flushed from his system.”

“He didn’t just hurt your mom, right” Luhan asked. “He hurt you?”

Baekhyun gave a shaky nod. “He … one time … my mom was pregnant with me. He pushed her too hard. It wasn’t his fault. It was an accident. But she fell and I was born premature and it was just worse after that. He was consumed with guilt and he never meant to hurt us ever again, just like I don’t mean to hurt my baby, but it just happened. What if that’s me? What if that turns out to be me?”

“You don’t drink,” Luhan pointed out evenly. “Socially, maybe, but not to dull pain. Not in an addictive way.”

“Maybe I don’t need alcohol to hurt my wife and baby,” Baekhyun pressed. “What if I just press too hard, or get mad and push Taeyeon? What if the baby cries too loud and I just want her to shut up?”

“What if,” Luhan said in contrast, “you hold your wife in your arms and you know instinctively how you’ll die to protect her? What if your baby cries and all you want to do is make things better, no matter how tired you are, or in need of sleep, or just overwhelmed?”

Baekhyun looked down at Youri. “What if I’m just like my father?”

Luhan reached for the refrigerator door and pulled out the beginnings of the lunch he’d have that day. It was leftovers, the remains of food Lay had dropped off for him days ago, but it was good enough and Luhan had certainly gotten less picky when there was an angry baby making demands on him.

“Do you know anything about my father?” Luhan asked him.

Baekhyun shook his head. “Only that your parents tried to make you stay in China? I’m not sure about those details, either. Sehun was pretty hush-hush about it. He only said they were trying to make you stay, that he had to go get you, and that none of us were ever to say anything to you about it.”

“It’s not that sensitive of an issue,” Luhan said, finding Sehun’s overprotective nature less than charming in that instance. “I have a friend Wei, who’s family is very close with my parents. They saw an advantageous business move in marrying the two of us, and they didn’t stop to ask what my thoughts on the matter would be, or if they had my permission for such a thing.”

“So what’s the relevance?”

Luhan told him, “My father is a bastard. He never physically hurt me, and I don’t doubt in some way he loved me. But he always saw me as an asset. As property, even. I was something he could use after some proper planning. He was never warm to me, caring or familial. He tried to force me to be something I wasn’t, tried to punish me for having interests of my own, and never respected me.”

“Sounds like a bastard.”

Luhan nodded. “My point here is that if Youri wants to grow up and be a rocket scientist even though I’d rather her be a novelist, I’ll support that. If, god forbid, she wants to try and be a singer, when you and I know what kind of world that is, I’ll still support her. I will always tell her I love her, and hug and kiss her. I will always make sure she knows that she is my daughter and her needs come above my own. I won’t try to control her. I won’t impose my views on her, and she can grow up into whatever person she’s meant to be without any antagonizing behavior on my part. I am not my father, Baekhyun. Some sons learn from their fathers how to be good fathers. And some learn how to be better than the ones they had. I think you’re the latter.”

“How can you say that so confidently?” Baekhyun asked.

Luhan took Youri back as she began to go slack with sleep. “Because you continue to irritate me endlessly, but I let you watch my baby while I took a nap.”

“Yes,” Baekhyun said slowly. “I watched Youri while you slept. What about it?”

Luhan abandoned his lunch preparation to head to the nursery with Youri. “Think about that, will you? I’ve only let family do that since she was born.”

By the time Luhan emerged from the nursery, Youri sleeping with a thumb tucked between her rosy lips, Baekhyun was fitting his shoes on.

“You don’t want to stay for lunch and eat my amazing leftovers?” Luhan chuckled.

“No,” Baekhyun said, head down.

Luhan called out to him, “Baekhyun, for what it’s worth, I think all of the obsessive thoughts you’re having, and the worries, and even the itching of your skin, is actually a good thing. It means you love your baby very much. It means you love Taeyeon very much. And it means that now that you have an idea what might be the cause of all of this, you stand a good chance of making progress towards resolving it before your daughter is born.”

“It took Sehun months of therapy,” Baekhyun pointed out, “to get over the worst of his issues.”

“And it’ll probably take you just as long if not more,” Luhan said back. “But only if you start talking about the things I can tell you’ve been keeping bottled inside. Talk to your mom, Baekhyun. Talk to Taeyeon. And yes, even talk to Sehun. Sehun is strong and resilient and more than capable of handling your problems. He’s also your friend, and he’ll be upset in the end if you don’t come to him with something like this when he struggled with his impending fatherhood, albeit with different circumstances.”

Shoes fully on, Baekhyun mumbled, “I’ll think about what you said.”

“Or,” Luhan said, trying to keep his voice low as Youri napped. “You can always come back and talk to me in exchange for some much needed rest time. Youri’s a handful and I didn’t think it would be this difficult with Sehun working so hard to catch up with his job. I’m not too prideful to admit I need an extra hand.”

“You?” Baekhyun asked.

Luhan agreed, “Me. Because even if we have a weird dynamic, and even if we’re at odds half the time, I think we’re also friends. And I will always be honest with you. I will never lie to you or sugarcoat anything. That’s my promise to you.”

With one silent nod Baekhyun was off, pulling his coat closed as he slipped out into the windy, chilly March weather.

The rest of the day was marked by Tao’s easy company, and a much more manageable Youri who’d apparently decided that she was perfectly fine, and absolutely not sick with anything.

“I missed you,” Sehun said when he slipped through the door much later that night, kissing Luhan deeply as he caught him around the waist.

“I missed you too,” Luhan said with warmth as he dragged Sehun down for a more intense kiss. “And so did Youri.”

With an apologetic kiss Sehun let go of Luhan and said, “Where’s my girl? The nursery?”

As Sehun jogged off to see their daughter, Luhan thought of Baekhyun. He hoped that Baekhyun could sort of out his issues before the baby was born. He hoped that Baekhyun had someone to talk to.

And there was real validity for that kind of hope.

Because Sehun had come through in the end for Youri. Which meant Baekhyun could for his own daughter, too.