Sehun’s house was a downright mess. With boxes and bubble wrap and people absolutely everywhere, it was like ground zero, and Luhan was afraid he’d knock his huge stomach into something valuable.

Standing dead center in the living room, surrounded by brown shipping crates and rolls of thick tape, it was the only place Luhan had been able to reason he was the most likely to be in the way. And it gave him a decent perspective from where everyone was.

Sehun was in his office, delicately packing away his electronics, and next to him was Chen, taking down the items that lined his shelves in the room. Chanyeol was the closest in the kitchen, haphazardly slinging dishes into boxes in a way that made Luhan wince, while Kai in the formal dining room, was bubble wrapping the expensive and antique looking chairs that were usually clustered around the table.

“Look alive,” someone said, and Luhan staggered a little to catch a roll of bubble wrap that came flying his way.

“Funny,” Luhan called out to Baekhyun who was on his way down from upstairs where he’d been packing up either the master bedroom, or the guest room Luhan had been staying in. But Luhn was surprised he was even there. It was less than half a week ago that he’d been married. And though his job dictated that he and his new wife couldn’t go away for a honeymoon, not even for the weekend, it seemed awfully gracious of Baekhyun to be spending his time with Sehun, and not Taeyeon. “What’s this for?”

Baekhyun hit the bottom landing of the stairs with two flat feet and gestured to the room around Luhan. “Pack that stuff up. Sehun’s not the kind who’s particular about what goes in what box, as long as everything is clearly marked. The movers are coming tomorrow morning, so we have to have everything ready to go by then.

A little awkwardly Luhan held the bubble wrap in his hands. “I don’t know Sehun’s home very well.” He’d spent several days staying with Sehun after he’d returned from China, but that time had been mostly spent in the kitchen cooking meals, or the guest bedroom sleeping. Luhan’s life had gone on in the independent way he was accustomed to. He’d just come home to Sehun at night.

And how nice that had been.

“I just said Sehun won’t care,” Baekhyun grumbled. “We can’t all be like that lucky bastard D.O..”

“D.O.?” Luhan questioned. “Sehun’s friend who’s in England right now, right?”

Baekhyun gave a sharp nod. “He’s over there doing some sound editing for a television production. He thinks he’s this hot shot ever since he started doing stuff like that. I bet that jerk extended his stay on purpose, just so he didn’t have to come back and help us get Sehun into his new place.”

Luhan tossed the bubble wrap back to Baekhyun. “Sehun doesn’t pick his friends unwisely, so I’m going to choose to believe you’re lying.”

Baekhyun sent him a dirty look. “You calling me a liar? I’ll have you know I always tell the truth. It’s people who have trouble hearing it that causes the drama.” Then the bubble wrap was returned to Luhan with the order, “Get to bubble wrapping. You’re not here just to look pretty. If we needed that, I’d have brought Taeyeon.”

Sehun came through the archway to the living room and threw a nearby lounge chair pillow at Baekhyun’s head. “Shut up and go work, slave. Luhan’s here for my aesthetic preferences.”

Baekhyun flipped Sehun off but Luhan was starting to speak Baekhyun more fluently now. It was all friendly, even if it didn’t seem that way.

It was just still so odd. It was odder than odd. It was just downright weird.

Baekhyun being nice to him, showing up for coffee, inviting him out to lunch with the others, and generally being a decent human being was nothing Luhan had ever expected to experience. Having it was nice, but still so weird. But it did genuinely feel as if Baekhyun liked him more now, and every time they talked, be it about Baekhyun’s job, or Luhan’s painting, or even just Sehun, they liked each other a little more.

They weren’t friends just yet, but Luhan could see them getting there, and he really liked it.

“I’m here to be eye candy?” Luhan asked, hands on his hips.

“You’re super hot,” Sehun said seriously, his arms sliding around Luhan’s waist to pull him closer. “No amount of your complaining about your growing size will make me think otherwise. You are incredibly attractive and I need you here for motivation. Whenever I get tired, I’ll just look over and see you, and then I’ll be able to keep going.”

“That’s got to be the only thing I’m good for in this situation then,” Luhan said, accepting a simple kiss from Sehun. “You know I can’t lift anything over a couple of pounds.”

Something fierce settled across Sehun’s face. “No lifting of anything, okay? Nothing. You can’t risk it.”

More and more Sehun was looking at him with fierce protectiveness. He was clingier now than he had been before, and worried endlessly. Luhan had honestly thought Sehun was going to call for an ambulance the other day when he’d had a particularly bad case of heartburn and hadn’t been able to get it to go away very easily.

Luhan wasn’t stupid, either. He knew it was because he wasn’t that far away from his eighth month. Jae had died in his eighth month, and so had Seoyoung.

Things would likely get better once he was in his ninth, and that association was gone. At least Luhan hoped so. If Sehun got any worse Luhan was liable to lash out at him for his smothering. And that wasn’t even counting Sehun’s mother who’d taken up worrying after him like it was a full time occupation.

“I’m lifting bubble wrap,” Luhan said, pointedly hoisting up the roll. “I guess I’ll wrap up your ornaments and trinkets. Those don’t weigh anything.”

Sehun nodded in agreement. “But leave the paintings on the walls. I’ll have Chanyeol or Baekhyun grab them later. A couple of pieces are pretty heavy and sturdy. I don’t want you straining.”

At their mention Luhan looked over to the visible foyer, where his art was hanging.

He supposed now was as good a time to say something.

With a gesture, Luhan asked, “Do you know where that art came from?”

“What art?” Sehun strained to follow his finger. “Oh. That. I … I know Jae bought it. He liked the artist and said so when he brought those home--probably more than the art itself. Jae really had a thing for artists. He loved them. I wonder if I should even bring those. Maybe those should go into storage.”

“Jae liked artists,” Luhan commented. “Suho told me the same thing when I first saw them. I guess now I know he also meant you when he said Jae liked artists.”

Tilting, Sehun asked, “You talked to Suho about the art? When? Why?”

“That first time I spoke to him, the day after the night we conceived our girl, that’s when Suho and I talked. I was curious why you had some of my art hanging on your walls. I honestly don’t even remember selling it. I must have though, right? To Jae.”

Sehun all but stumbled his way past Luhan to the three pieces that hung next to each other. He stared hard at the paintings, and then said with wide eyes. “I’m so stupid. Of course this is your style I recognize it now. Wait, you sold these to Jae? You met Jae?”

“I met Jae,” Luhan repeated. “I have people ask about my art from time to time at the coffee shop, but Kris handles all the transactions.” Luhan wandered slowly to Sehun’s side. “Jae though, he caught me one day when I was in the shop, and I sold these to him. I guess it’s weird that we’d have this connection to each other before any of this happened.”

Quietly, Sehun said, “Maybe it’s fate.”

Luhan could only shrug.

“I’m putting these into storage,” Sehun said in a decisive way. “I’ve got that new piece you painted for me, and that should go in the living room above the fire place. I want everyone to see it when they come to visit.”

Luhan touched Sehun’s arm. “You’re not going to purge all of Jae’s things before you go into the new house, are you? You’re not getting rid of everything of his, right?”

Sehun’s eyes stayed trained on the pictures. “I want our new house to be about me and you and about our daughter. I told you, I’m not trying to erase the past, but I want to make a clean go at the future.”

“I want your past to be a part of our future,” Luhan said quietly. What kind of person would he be if he wanted Sehun to forget who he’d been and who he’d loved?

“It’ll be fine,” Sehun assured, putting a hand on Luhan’s stomach. “Now, if you don’t want to deal with the living room, I don’t think Baekhyun’s gotten very far into the upstairs.” He frowned. “What about your lazy friends? Why didn’t any of them come to help?”

Luhan pinched Sehun. “Don’t talk about my friends. They’re not slackers like yours. Tao’s got class, Xiumin is working, Lay’s out of town, and Kris is spending time with his parents for the first time since they got back from Canada. They have valid reasons.”

From further back in the house, Chen called out, “Sehun! Do you want all these books packed up? Which ones do you use for work?”

“Gotta go,” Sehun said in an exaggerated way, like all he wanted was to stay with Luhan. “I’ll send Backhyun back to help you if you want to try your hand upstairs. But don’t overdo it! If you need to rest, rest. If you want to nap, nap. There’s still plenty of food--”

“Sehun.” Luhan silenced him with a kiss. “I’m fine. Go.”

As Sehun trekked off towards his office Luhan peered up the stairs. They were running behind schedule for the movers tomorrow. Luhan wagered that he’d be able to help more upstairs than down. Upstairs probably meant packing up a lot of linens, rugs and curtains. He could do that, and quickly, too.

With a grunt of some effort, Luhan started his way up the stairs. He’d been fairly mobile for really the longest amount of time, even as he neared his last trimester. But there was no denying stairs were starting to become the enemy. Every time he climbed to the third floor where his apartment was located, he felt woozy and heated. If it got any worse he didn’t know what he’d do.

It seemed climbing Sehun’s stairs was no different. Though it was one flight this time, by the time he reached the top landing he was breathing hard, starting to sweat, and his knees felt weak. Keeping a hand on the nearby wall he tried to take a step forward, but the world spun dangerously and with a shout of surprise he was sliding down the wall to land on the ground with a grunt.

There was a veritable thunder of footsteps on stairs and the next thing Luhan knew he could hear half a dozen panicked voices and there were hands touching him everywhere.

“Give him some damn room to breathe!” Sehun demanded.

Luhan tried to focus on Sehun’s face as his vision wobbled on the edges.

“Luhan,” Sehun said, blanched white and sweating himself. “Stay still. Someone is going to call for an ambulance and--”

“I don’t need an ambulance,” Luhan said, and as he blinked a few more times, things came fully into focus. The world wasn’t sideways anymore, and he was chilled, not hot. “I’m okay now. I just got dizzy for a second. It’s those stairs. It’s always the stairs.”

Sehun pressed in close to Luhan, knocking their foreheads together gently. “This has happened before?”

“I think I might be at the end of my stair climbing days,” Luhan admitted with a weak chuckle.

Next came Sehun’s hand to his forehead and the question, “You feel better now?”

“Much,” Luhan said, and he gestured for Sehun and the nearby Chanyeol to lift him up.

“You’re certain?” Sehun demanded before he would pull.

Sehun’s face wasn’t the only worried one, he realized. Everyone else looked just as terrified for him.

“Did you fall badly?” Baekhyun asked, his fingers twisting against each other nervously.

Kai nodded. “Maybe you should stay seated for a little longer.”

“I’m good,” Luhan said, gripping Sehun’s hand. “Let me stand up. The dizziness is gone.”

Once he was on his feet Luhan took a deep breath and patted his stomach gently. “She’s throwing off my balance, and ruining how mobile I used to be. But this too shall pass. Try not to freak out too much, Sehun. I am telling the truth when I say I’m feeling fine now.” There was just the tiniest bit of unease lingering in him, but it was fading with every passing second.

“You should rest,” Sehun decided, his hand at Luhan’s hip inching towards his stomach. “Just to be safe.”

“No,” Luhan corrected, trying to be patient. “I should stay active and on my feet until they start to hurt. I don’t need to rest. I don’t need a nap, and don’t you dare suggest I sit down and eat something. I’d weight a hundred extra pounds if I let you keep shoving food in my face to comfort your nerves.”

“Moody,” Kai mumbled, and Luhan glared at him.

“Hello!” a voice called out along with the heavy sound of the front door. “Sehun?”

Sehun ground. “That’s Suho.”

“I’m fine,” Luhan said yet again, feeling almost like a broken record. “Baekhyun, are going to keep working up here?” When the other boy nodded, he continued, “Good. And Sehun, could you try not to say anything about this to Suho? You know how fussy he’ll get.”

Despite all his open reluctance to leave Luhan, eventually Sehun started down the stairs, Kai, Chen and Chanyeol trailing after him.

When they were out of earshot, Baekhyun asked quietly, “You really feel okay, or are you faking it so Sehun will stop mouth breathing down your neck?”

“Are you going to go and tattle on me if I’m not okay?”

Baekhyun gave him a deceptively sweet smile. “I am, Luhan, because the both of us know what happens to Sehun if you and that kid aren’t okay.”

Luhan held his gaze for a moment, almost impressed with Baekhyun’s loyalty to Sehun’s wellbeing. Finally, he said, “I’m still a little wobbly, but I really am okay. I was just dizzy. I get dizzy a lot. More than I tell Sehun.”

Baekhyun gave a silent nod.

“Want to get going then?” Luhan asked, thumbing towards the nearby hallway. “Or did you prefer to bond some more?”

Baekhyun’s response was, “You realize my kid and you kid are going to be born about six months apart, right?”

“What are you getting at?”

“It remains to be seen,” Baekhyun said, leading the way down the hallway, “But either they’re going to be mortal enemies, or best friends. I don’t know which one I’m pulling for.”

“Could be neither,” Luhan said, trailing easily after him. “Maybe they’ll fall in love and you and I will end up as in-laws. Won’t that be ironic?” Luhan teased.

The look of horror on Baekhyun’s face was hilarious. “Are you kidding me? No. No offense, Luhan, but I don’t think you understand the kind of father Sehun is going to be to your daughter. Overprotective doesn’t even begin to describe it. So no, I hope our kids don’t grow up and fall in love, because I don’t want Sehun to try and kill my child, and god help me if it’s a boy, and I don’t want to end up locked in mortal combat with Sehun because he came after my kid.”

With a grin on his face, Luhan said, “My daughter is never getting married, is she?”

“Maybe not until Sehun is so old he can’t chase any and all potential love interests from the property,” Baekhyun replied, returning the smile.

They ended up working on the guest room that Luhan had stayed in, first. Baekhyun had already packed a lot of the smaller things, but there was plenty left in the open closet and nearby shelves.

Luhan reached for some of the bedding and tried not to think of how he and Sehun had spent a night in it tangled together, resting easily in embrace.

Suho had brought with him, Luhan found out half an hour later, bags of food from the nearby grocery store. To Chanyeol the food was delivered, and for lunch Luhan got his first taste of what Sehun was talking about when he claimed his friend was an amazing chef.

“You should be a professional,” Luhan insisted as all of them clustered around the dining room table, bowls of food everywhere. “Or have a television show.”

“I’ve been telling him that for years,” Kai insisted.

Chanyeol looked a little embarrassed, but overall thrilled with the praise. He admitted, “I wanted to be a chef when I was younger, but my parents were against it. They thought it was too risky of a career choice, and they wouldn’t pay for me to study it. So now it’s just my hobby.”

The food was savory and like heaven as it filled Luhan’s taste buds with pleasure. “But how’d you get so good?”

Chanyeol gave him a flirty wink. “In high school, and then in college, I only dated cuties who could cook.”

Baekhyun laughed, “Chanyeol was known of being a serial dater. He’d date three, sometimes four different people a semester, and no one could work out why for the longest amount of time.”

“Sometimes I look at you and I’m not sure if you’re an absolute fool, or a secret genius, Chanyeol,” Suho said in a pleased way.

Luhan looked around the table as the meal wound down. The food had been amazing, the company was wonderful, and Luhan felt for the first time like he fit into Sehun’s odd but charming group of friends. He felt like one of them and it was a good feeling.

After that it was back upstairs, though this time Luhan had Suho in tow instead of Baekhyun, and he didn’t think that was a coincidence at all.

Still, Suho seemed to know Sehun’s house better than Baekhyun, so he and Luhan were able to cover even more ground. They finished the guest bedroom, the spare storage room, the linen closet, and the bathroom.

“Should we wait?” Luhan asked as he placed a hand on Sehun’s closed bedroom door.

He’d only been inside once, when their daughter had been conceived. And not once had Luhan felt the urge to enter it when he’d stayed with Sehun for nearly a week. The room felt off limits, naturally, and like the last place Luhan should be for the sake of Sehun’s sanity.

It hadn’t been lost on Luhan that Sehun wasn’t sleeping in the room.

“No,” Suho finally decided, turning the handle. “We need to get it done, and I don’t think we can count on Sehun to do this room himself.”

The room was exactly like Luhan remembered it, all clean lines and modernity. The bed was perfectly made, but clearly unused, and in fact it seemed like the only thing that did have any functionality in the room was the closet door and the items inside.

“Is it hard for you to be in here?” Luhna questioned Suho, trying to be extra careful and respectful of the items on the nearby dresser top. None of them seemed like they’d were objects belonging to Sehun, which meant they had to be Jae’s.

“Seeing my brother’s things?” Suho responded.

Luhan’s hand paused over a trinket box.  “Yeah. And maybe you should be handling these things. I can do the closet instead, and the bathroom.”

Suho moved to stand next to him, opening the lid of the box. “Sehun asked us if we wanted any of Jae’s things after the funeral. My parents took some stuff, and I thought that was enough. I ended up regretting that I couldn’t stomach the idea of taking anything more from Sehun. I definitely wanted more.” From the box he pulled a smaller one and cracked it open for Luhan to see. “But I didn’t think Sehun should have had to be parted from things like this.”

Jae’s wedding ring. Luhan knew what it was the moment he saw it.

“Sehun doesn’t want to keep Jae’s things when he moves to the new house,” Luhan said, and it felt a bit like giving away one of Sehun’s secrets, but it was also important Suho knew. “I don’t know if he thinks he has to do that for me and the baby, but I don’t want him to, and I think he’ll regret it.”

After a moment of thinking, Suho said, “How about we set aside all of Jae’s things. I’ll take them back with me to my place, just in case, and Sehun never has to know unless he shows any kind of regret.”

“Okay,” Luhan agreed. But for the most part, he let Suho handle Jae’s things.

By the time Luhan’s feet were aching, and his back protesting, the sun had long gone down and people were starting to leave at a steady pace.

“We’ll be back tomorrow,” Suho promised when he was the last out the door, Luhan hanging back as Sehun waited to close the door after him. “The movers will do all the heavy lifting, but we’ll pick up the slack for the rest of your things. Just remember the friend rule for these sorts of things.”

 Sehun chuckled. “I remember. Pizza and beer for anyone who helps.”

“Bye, Luhan!” Suho called into the house, then he was jogging away, the door closing after him.

Sehun came padding back into the house, closer to Luhan, but stopped short and asked plainly, “Do you swear you’re okay? You scared me half to death earlier. I thought that something had happened to you, or to our baby, and I just thought that I wouldn’t be able to--”

“Sehun.” Once in a while Luhan forgot how truly fragile Sehun was. “Dizziness and a lack of stamina is perfectly normal for me in my late second trimester. And I really want to know that you believe me when I tell you that I know my body better than you. If I felt anything was wrong, or even merely suspected, I would go right to the hospital. No hesitation.”

After a prolonged delay, Sehun finally nodded, then he reached a hand out for Luhan’s stomach and let his fingers trail across the taut skin. “I love her so much already Luhan. And I’m so damn paranoid about everything now.”

“I know you are,” Luhan leaned into his touch, his mouth brushing against Sehun’s. “But trust me to protect her when she’s inside, just like I’m going to trust you to protect her once she’s out.”

“Fair enough,” Sehun said, then with a sigh collapsed onto the sofa in the living room. Aside from the larger pieces of furniture, the room was almost completely bare.  Luhan wondered what the new house would look like. Did Sehun have plans for something modern, or would go with something more traditional?

Luhan joined him on the sofa with a groan as he eased himself down. He enfolded his arms around his stomach and said, “So we need to talk about something.”

“Hmm?” Sehun asked, stretching his feet out.

“Tao is hell bent on throwing me a baby shower, and the rest of my friends have gotten behind the idea with an annoying amount of determination, so it looks like it’s actually going to happen.”

Sehun’s eye jerked over to him. “You know that’s going to upset my mom. She wants to throw you the most epic baby shower that Korea has ever seen. Trust me, Luhan, she’s already started stockpiling baby gifts.”

“That’s nice,” Luhan grimaced a bit, “and if she wants to throw one for me, I’ll be more than gracious towards her. But I kind of want one, if I’m being forced to have one, with my friends who are family to me. I want Tao and Lay and Kris and Xiumin there, and I want you and your friends. That’s what I want.”

Easily enough Sehun shrugged. “Guess we’ll be having two baby showers.”

Suspiciously, Luhan asked, “You acknowledge that you’ll be attending both with me?”

“We’re a team, aren’t we?” Sehun countered.

The pleased feeling in Luhan was downright unbearable.

“Okay,” he said. “But agreeing to a baby shower means we have to agree on a couple of other important things.”

“Like what baby directory we should use?”

“No,” Luhan chuckled. “Like what we’re going to do about her name. She’ll need a Korean name and a Chinese one, and we have to decide which will be her given name, if she’ll have a nickname … and you should tell me if you want her Korean name to be similar to Seoyoung’s. Miyoung is a pretty name, if you like it.”

There was something wrong. There was something visibly wrong with the way Sehun was all locked up, looking a little overwrought in the eyes.

Slowly Luhan said, “If you don’t like Miyoung we don’t have to consider it. And if you don’t want our baby to have a name similar to Seoyoung’s then--”

“We’re not,” Sehun said sharply, almost startling Luhna, “giving her a name before she’s born.”

Luhan frowned. “We should have already picked out a name for her. Family members need to know before the shower and birth. I want to have a Buddhist priest bless her, and I want to have a few charms made for her before she’s born. She’ll need a name for most of that.”

“No,” Sehun snapped once more. “No names. Not until she’s born.”

There was a fight coming, and Luhan could already tell it was going to be a costly one. It was the first severe one they were going to have over their daughter.

“I’m deciding on a name for her,” Luhan grit out between his teeth. “A Chinese name for sure, and if you don’t want to participate, I’ll pick a Korean one, too.”

Sehun’s eyes were narrowed into angry silts. “You’re not giving her any kind of name. I won’t let you.”

Luhan climbed to his feet. “Excuse me? What makes you think I need your permission for anything?”

“No names.”

“This is about Seoyoung,” Luhan guessed, and he was certain he was right when Sehun launched up to his feet like a rocket. “This is something to do with her and you’re letting that fear bleed over into our daughter. Why?”

“I’m not having this conversation with you,” Sehun ground out. “Just respect my wishes.”

“Not without an explanation,” Luhan shot back. “It’s just a name. I want to know why it’s such a sore spot for you. Does giving our daughter a name make her too real for you?”

With a harsh laugh Sehun said, “I can feel her move. I know what she looks like. Trust me, she’s very real.”

“Then what is the problem?” Luhan hated how much he sounded like he was pleading with Sehun. “Why can’t she have a name?”

With a rough hand jerking through his hair, Sehun said, “She can have a name! Stop twisting my words. Of course she can have a name, and it can be whatever you want it to be. But not until she’s born. She can’t have one right now.”

“She’s my daughter and I want her to have one.”

Sehun was only getting redder in the face as his breathing picked up. “Don’t you dare--”

“Don’t you try and stop me,” Luhan was quick to respond. With a stressed tone, he asked, “Is this going to be a regular thing, Sehun? Are you going to have these episodes and not explain yourself?”

“Why are you pretending like you didn’t know I was messed up!” Sehun shouted back, and their voices were loud and out of control then.

The pain in Sehun’s voice was murder to Luhan’s heart. “I know you’re not perfect,” Luhan corrected. “But you’re not messed up. You’re suffering from what a doctor would likely diagnose you as having post-traumatic stress disorder, if you bothered to go see one. And I’m not angry at you that you’re reacting like this. I’m angry you won’t tell me why!”

“Because it’s none of your business,” Sehund strained to shout at him, voice going in and out.

Carefully, Luhan asked, “Will it be my business the first time our daughter asks you something she doesn’t know not to? What happens when you start screaming at her and she can’t understand what’s going on?”

Sehun hissed at him, “I would never!”

“Because you’re in perfect control of yourself?” Luhan wondered. “I don’t think you’d do it on purpose, but there’s still so much anger and sadness in you. It’s still in you no matter how far down you push it and pretend like it isn’t there. I don’t want you to hurt our daughter and not even realize it’s happening until it’s too late.”

Visibly shaking Sehun asked him lowly, “How dare you insinuate I would hurt our baby.”

Luhan pursed his lips for a moment, then offered, “Words hurt just as badly as fists, to a child who adores their father, Sehun. I know this truth intimately. So think about what you’re asking, and how I’m only just asking for the truth.”

“We had an agreement,” Sehun said a bit sullenly. “You agreed to it.”

“I’m not asking for me,” Luhan replied. “I’m asking for you to explain yourself on behalf of our daughter. This has nothing to do with my curiosity. Because if it did, I’d be asking all kinds of questions.”

Sehun rolled his eyes. “Like what?”

“Like why your baby’s nursery is in a million pieces!”

The nursery terrified Luhan. He could imagine what it had looked like at one point, full of lovely shades of yellow, soft blankets, fuzzy stuffed animals, and baby books that Sehun would have planned to read to his daughter even before she could speak. And now it was ruble. It was a room full of broken wood, scratched paint, destroyed objects and rage that still lingered in the air.

And while there was no confirmation, Luhan suspected it was Sehun who’d destroyed the room. Had it just been a single burst of anger over Sehun losing his family? Or was it indicative of something more worrying? Luhan was learning more about Sehun every day, but there was still so much a mystery.

“That is none of your business either!”

Luhan found himself shouting back, “Then tell me why all your friends, and you, always freak out when I tell you I’m going to walk somewhere! Even back when Baekhyun hated my guts, he still wouldn’t let me walk to the bus stop.”

With a shout of anger, Sehun turned and kicked a nearby lounge chair. “I can’t believe you’re dragging us through the mud like this, Luhan.”

“That’s what this is? Your past is the mud?”

“My past is the past,” Sehun said, short of breath. “You wanted to be my future, so why can’t you just be happy with what I’m giving you?”

Luhan shook his head, heading directly to the nearby closet where his jacket hung. He asked over his shoulder, “I’m supposed to be happy with half-truths and untruths? I’m an adult, Sehun. I know how to handle you when you’re like this, but our daughter won’t. Not for a long time. I want her to know Seoyoung was her sister. I don’t want to hide Jae from her when she’s old enough to understand. But I get the feeling we don’t want the same things. And if that’s the case … I don’t know if I can do this.”

He was just pulling on his jacket when Sehun asked fearfully, “What are you talking about?”

“I have all these feelings for you,” Luhan said, gesturing between them. “They’re scary feelings, but also wonderful. They’re feelings I’m not ashamed of or wish I didn’t have. But they don’t even come close to measuring up to how I feel about my daughter. I will always put her before you, Sehun, and that includes her safety before your wants.”

“Where the hell are you going?” Sehun demanded as Luhan headed towards the front door. “Luhan!”

“I want us to be a family,” Luhan said, pulling the door open as Sehun sprinted to his side. “I want to love you and be loved in return, and I want us all to be happy. But there can’t be secrets like these between us, Sehun, and you can’t be so angry if I’m going to feel safe.”

“Luhan,” Sehun moaned out desperately, all the fight seemingly fleeing his body.

“I will never withhold your daughter from you,” Luhan said, feeling as if part of him was breaking apart with every word he spoke. “You are her father. You have rights and you are a good man. But maybe we need to take a break. You need to do some thinking and so do I.”

“Luhan!” Sehun called after him as Sehun descended the few steps to the bottom stoop. “It’s nine at night. Where are you going? How are you going to get home?”

Luhan pointed down the street. “There’s a bus stop just down there. I’ll walk to the stop and take the bus home.” Luhan paused, then asked, “Unless you’d like to tell me why you look like you might pass out from that idea.”

“I’ll drive you,” Sehun urged. “You can hate me all you want, but just let me drive you.”

Slowly Luhan shook his head. “I’m going to walk, Sehun. I told you, I need to think some things over and figure others out.”

“Luhan,” Sehun said quietly. “Please. Come back and talk.”

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” Luhan asked. “I know you mean well, Sehun. I know you’re a good person. But I need more than a negotiation of topics not to broach. I need answers that I’m just not sure you’re willing or able to give. Do you understand?”

As Luhan made his way off Sehun’s property, hoping Sehun didn’t come after him, Luhan felt as if he’d just served up an impossible ultimatum to Sehun.

Luhan had always been the first person to defend how closely Sehun had kept matters of his heart protected, and how he’d hidden away his past and twisted it into secrets. Luhan understood that some things Sehun had the right to keep buried away, and it really had only been a little over a half year since Sehun’s life had changed completely.

But enough felt like enough. Luhan had a baby to consider now, and even his own feelings for Sehun.

He loved Sehun. He could no more deny that now than stop breathing. He was falling in love with the complex man who’d been both so combative in the beginning, but so earnest and full of effort towards the end.

It just wasn’t enough.

But as painful as Sehun’s secrets had to be for him, Luhan thought he had a right know. He had a right to understand. He wasn’t just some stranger, and he was no longer an interloper. He was carrying Sehun’s child. He was the person Sehun claimed to love. Luhan didn’t think they could start to seriously build their future without the both of them being on equal footing, and that meant Luhan knowing the extent to Sehun’s past.

The bus came quickly after Luhan reached the stop. But it wasn’t until Luhan was climbing the stairs up the bus a bit awkwardly, his bus pass in hand, that he caught sight of Sehun’s form lurking a bit away. He wasn’t close in the least bit, and mostly hidden by the shadows of the night, but Luhan knew it was him.

Luhan took a seat at the window and turned to look at Sehun. Even with the space between them Luhan could see how worried he looked, anxiety bleeding from his body.

The bus rumbled, then jerked, and only then did Luhan see Sehun take a step back, turning to go home.

Why had Sehun followed him all the way to the bus stop? What kind of danger did Sehun think he was in from such a short journey?

He forced himself not to think about it. There was no use in thinking about Sehun at all. Luhan had said what had been building in him for some time, and he didn’t want to take back any of it. He needed to know about Sehun’s past to have a future, and he wouldn’t compromise anymore. He wouldn’t be patient. He wouldn’t wait.

“Luhan?” Kris asked when Luhan came stumbling his way into the coffee shop. His exhaustion must have been too easy to read on his face. “You look … is something wrong?”

Luhan shook his head. Kris didn’t need any of his problems. “I thought you were with your parents.”

“You know my parents,” Kris said, a disinterested look on his face. “We weren’t out for five minutes before the business calls started coming in. I left about half an hour after the shouting started.”

Luhan sat across from Kris, trying not to salivate over the man’s sugary coffee drink. “The acquisition not going well?”  The most Luhan understood about Kris’s parents was that they were attempting to become the new Starbucks. They had half a dozen coffee shops in Seoul, a couple in Busan, and were looking at Canada next for their long term goals. It occurred to Luhan that Kris hadn’t needed to work hard in school to get into a good college, or even start at the bottom of the totem pole after getting hired at the law firm. Money bought power and influence, and Kris certainly had mony. But Kris wasn’t like that, and it was what Luhan admired most about him.

“I don’t know,” Kris sighed out. “I don’t care. Now, what’s with that look on your face?”

Luhan forced himself to smile. “It’s nothing. I’m just tired.”

“Of course,” Kris chuckled, “you’re an old man now. Maybe you should head up to bed.”

“Any chance of getting an elevator put in?” Luhan asked, rubbing a hand at the small of his back.

Seriousness overtook Kirs’s face. “What’s wrong with the stairs?”

“Nothing.” With one last longing look at the coffee drink, Luhan stood and patted Kris’s arm.  “I’ll call you later. Goodnight.”

Getting to the third floor took an embarrassing amount of time. But eventually he was in his bed, the window pushed open for air, and his thoughts melting away as sleep overcame him.

Tomorrow, he reasoned, tomorrow would be better. It certainly couldn’t be any worse than how things already were.