Something woke Sehun.

He sat up sharply in the darkness of his bedroom and wasn’t sure what it was that had jarred him out of the peaceful sleep he’d been having, only that something seemed wrong.

It took another moment for his sleep addled brain to kick in, and then he was reaching down for the spot next to him that was vacant. His fingers hit sheets that were still warm, which meant it was Luhan getting up from bed that had woken him, even if he wasn’t in the room anymore.

Luhan had been sharing his bed with him for days now, ever since their fateful if not awkward rushed confessions in the car. It had seemed, with Luhan declaring his intent to live with Sehun before a year passed, and Sehun practically proposing, that there wasn’t really a reason for them to sleep separately.

Not that they’d even discussed it.

Two days previous Luhan had followed him up to his bedroom, a pillow clutched in one hand and stated, “I’m going to sleep here, okay?”

Sehun would never have turned him away, even if he hadn’t had romantic feelings for Luhan. Because sleeping next to Luhan meant angling Youri between them, and getting to have the skin to skin contact that was comforting beyond words.

Sehun didn’t have the heart to say anything, but Luhan was sort of a menace to sleep with. He’d had a clue about what Luhan’s sleeping habits were like in weeks and months previous, but it wasn’t until they were sharing a small space that he realized how Luhan absolutely dominated the space they had, relegating Sehun to a corner. And Luhan kicked in his sleep. He was rather territorial and violent.

At least until Sehun wrapped him up in a strong embrace and twined their feet. That seemed to be the trick to getting Luhan to settle down enough not to drive Sehun absolutely crazy.

So it was easy to say that Sehun had gotten used to having a warm body next to him fairly quickly. He was terrified that one morning he’d wake up and think it was Jae next to him, but it was just as unbearable to imagine pushing Luhan away for that reason.

Luhan now not in the bed next to him, was startling.

“Luhan?” he called out, voice rough like sandpaper.

Sehun rolled from the bed as gracefully as he could manage and trekked across the dark bedroom for the bathroom. Luhan was always saying how impossible it was to sleep with Youri constantly on his bladder now, but a quick check to the small room indicated he wasn’t there.

“Luhan?” he called out again, this time with a more panicked tone.

Something heavy thudded beyond the bedroom door and Sehun was off at a run, throwing the door open and nearly tripping himself up as he hit the light for the hallway.

Luhan wasn’t too far away, looking absolutely sheepish with a potted plant in pieces near him.

“Sorry,” he said, rubbing his forehead in an embarrassed way, also leaning heavily against the stand the plant had been on. “I couldn’t find the light switch in the dark, and I didn’t see the plant. I’ll replace it.”

“I don’t care about the plant,” Sehun said a bit snappishly, taking a tentative step towards Luhan as his heart rate slowed back to something more normal. He hated the dark circles under Luhan’s eyes and the paleness to his skin, all indicators that the pregnancy was wearing him out and beating down his endurance. Sehun was honestly glad they were at the very end of it. Luhan was looking worse each day.  “What are you doing up? Is something wrong?”

“I don’t know,” Luhan said with a shrug. “I woke up because something felt …”

Sehun was at his side in a flash, his heart thundering once more, almost achingly so as he palmed at Luhan’s stomach. “Wrong?”

“Different.” Luhan said almost right away. “Weird.” After a brief pause, he admitted, “I was going downstairs to call Eunji. I might be in labor.”

Sehun crashed hard against the nearby wall, his vision swimming. “You what?”

“Might be,” Luhan laughed out, but it was a wry, almost nervous laugh. It did nothing to comfort Sehun who was in air frantically at the idea of Luhan finally being in labor.

“But you’re not due yet. You have a day.”

“It’s almost three in the morning,” Luhan said, and there was a sudden wince on his face, a tightening of the fingers he had at his sides, and all the signs that he was experiencing a contraction. “We were planning to leave for the hospital later today anyway. Technically, Youri’s on time.”

“Luhan,” Sehun said, trying now to regulate his breathing, “do you really think you’re in labor?”

Luhan arched an eyebrow. “I was prepared to scoot down your stairs on my , practically crawl my way into the living room, and then make a frantic phone call to my doctor at this time in the morning. Yeah, I’m pretty sure this is labor.”

Sehun gave a moan and pressed his forehead against the coolness of the wall.

Labor. Luhan was in labor.

Youri was ready to be born.

“Sehun?”

“I’m not ready,” Sehun said, feeling dizzy.

He’d had months to get ready for this moment, and now it seemed too sudden.

Gone was the excitement over the idea of bringing Youri home. Now he just wanted a little more time with Luhan, just the two of them.

“I don’t think you get to decide that,” Luhan said breathlessly. “But the contractions seem pretty far apart. I’ve only had a couple. We’ve got plenty of time to get to the hospital.”

At the mention Sehun jumped up, wide eyed. “Hospital!” he shouted, more than a little aware that he probably looked like a jackass. “We need to get to the hospital!”

Luhan’s long fingers settled on the sides of his faces and he suggested, “How about we call Eunji first? At the very least, I want the doctor who’s going to deliver my daughter to have more than five minutes to wake up before the actual surgery.”

Hands shaking and nerves out of control, Sehun asked almost angrily, “If you thought you were in labor, why didn’t you wake me up?”

Luhan turned to start for the stairs and Sehun was there in a second, hovering around him, making sure there were no missteps. He could picture Luhan with the utmost amount of determination on his face, scooting down the steps one at a time, too afraid to take a spill down them if any kind of dizziness happened upon him.

It was a picture that only served to raise Sehun’s blood pressure. Luhan should have woken him immediately if he thought something was wrong, or if he thought he was in labor. Sehun should have been awake from the moment the sensations started in Luhan.

With one hand on Sehun’s shoulder for balance, and the other on the banister, Luhan said, “Because honestly these could just be false contractions. They feel a little different from the last time I felt contractions, so I’m not sure. And if they are false, and this isn’t me going into labor before we decided to deliver, then I didn’t want to wake you up. You’re not exactly the calmest person right now.”

“Because I’m going to be a father at any second,” Sehun challenged back. “Who could be calm with that on their mind?”

They hit the landing a few minutes later and Luhan requested, “Go call Eunji, please. I’m going to get my coat and shoes just in case she says to come down to the hospital.”

Sehun shook his head. “Maybe you should just sit down and rest.”

Luhan pointed towards the living room. “Go. Stop waiting my time.”

Sehun took off. Far be it from him to argue with the man who was about to make his greatest wish come true.

“Eunji,” Sehun said the second the line clicked over. It was a private number Sehun had never dialed before, always reaching Luhan’s doctor through the hospital. But he was grateful to have it now, and more grateful that Luhan’s doctor was someone he could trust. “Luhan says he’s in labor!”

“Might be!” Luhan’s voice echoed across the house.

“Hm?”

Gripping the phone tightly, Sehun nearly shouted, “Eunji! Luhan might be in labor!”

There were odd sounds that came across the line, including the rustling of clothing, a couple of thuds, and a clicking of sorts, then Eunji said in a distant voice, “Jongdae. Get up.”

Sehun was distracted for a moment. “Eunji? Is Chen there?”

He wasn’t just distracted, he was a little relieved. If he and Luhan had to come to the hospital, Chen would know about it, and he’d be right there with Eunji. He was one less person Sehun would have to frantically call if this turned out not to be a false alarm.

“Put Luhan on the phone,” Eunji said more firmly. “And for god’s sake, breathe into a paper bag if you think you’re going to pass out. I need you to get Luhna to the hospital in one piece, if this is it.”

Sehun sat heavily on the sofa and tried to put his head between his knees as he listened to Luhan speak quickly with Eunji. He reported how far apart he was feeling the possible contractions, described them and their intensity, and eventually said, “I don’t think these are false contractions. And I don’t want to take any chances.”

That seemed to seal the deal for Sehun. He was in agreement that even if they weren’t actual contractions, if Luhan wanted to go to the hospital, so did Sehun. They were scheduled to make an appearance in around twelve hours anyway, so there didn’t seem any harm in going early.

Sehun took back the phone with growing confidence. “Eunji, if Luhan says he’s worried and he wants to go to the hospital, then we’re going. You’re his doctor. You need to support him in this and meet us there.”

“Sehun,” she replied, sounding more awake but less severe, “I was going to tell Luhan to come down anyway. He’d too close to his due date for me not to check him over in a situation like this. And yes, I agree, the best thing to do right now is support Luhan. He knows his body better than anyone, and if he’d feeling off, it’s something to take note of.”

“So just come down? You’ll meet us there?”

There was something odd happening on Eunji’s side of the phone, but then a second later Sehun could hear Chen saying, “Sehun? Luhan’s having the baby?”

Sehun replied, “We think he might be. Can you take Eunji to the hospital? Luhan and I are heading out right now.” From his position on the sofa Sehun could see Luhan struggling to get his jacket done up with fingers that didn’t seem to be cooperating. For just a second Sehun took a moment to recognize that any fear he was feeling, Luhan must have been feeling so much more.

“I’ll be there,” Chen said, “and I’ll call the others.”

Sehun got to his feet, cradling the phone between his ear and shoulder. He crossed to Luhan and helped him secure the buttons and ties on the jacket, smoothing out the material and telling Luhan softly, “We’re okay. We’re going to the hospital now. We’re going to be just fine.”

“Sehun?” Chen asked.

“Just meet us,” Sehun said, and then he was tossing the phone away and bending to envelop Luhan in a comforting hug. “Are you okay?” he asked, feeling Luhan warm and so alive against him.

“Scared,” Luhan admitted, clutching back at Sehun. He seemed a million times braver than Sehun for saying it.

“We’re going to go to the hospital right now,” he said, giving Luhan one last squeeze, faintly able to feel Youri through all their layers. “Give me five seconds to change and grab your bag, then we’re out of here.”

It might have been the fastest he’d ever dressed in his life. It wasn’t a flattering shirt he was wearing when he came flying back down the stairs, Luhan’s hospital bag in hand, but it was the furthest thing from his mind.

Likewise, he tried to push from his mind how small and fragile Luhan looked all the sudden, seemingly dwarfed in his winter coat, his plaid pajama bottoms peeking out from under the jacket.

It was an illusion, he told himself, reaching out for Luhan’s hand. Luhan had always appeared more fragile than he was. Luhan was, in fact, impossibly strong and courageous and downright tough.

“Hospital?” Luhan asked hopefully.

“Eunji and Chen will meet us there,” Sehun promised.  “We should get going.”

Luhan’s eyebrows pulled together and he asked carefully, “Are you okay to drive?”

“Luhan.” Sehun kissed him gently and fussed one last time with Luhan’s coat. “I would never get in the car with you if I wasn’t one hundred percent sure that I could get us safely to the hospital. You believe me?”

There was no hesitation as Luhan nodded. “I believe you.”

It was a tense drive to the hospital anyway.

It was incredibly early in the morning, but Seoul was a city that hardly ever slept, which meant there were still plenty of cars on the road and plenty of traffic leading up to the hospital. Sehun tried to keep himself and the car steady as they made the drive, but he could see from the corner of his eye every time Luhan clenched up, eyes closing and fingers gripping his stomach tightly in what had to be a contraction.

Sehun had no idea how painful they were, so far Luhan had been a little snappish, but otherwise fairly calm, but any kind of pain was more than Sehun wanted him to bear. He couldn’t wait to get them to the hospital where Luhan could get something for the pain and Sehun could worry a little less.

It was possible he’d only worry more.

By the time Sehun’s thoughts were running away from him, the hospital came into sight.

“I don’t want to freak you out,” Luhan said, gripping the handle to the door tightly. “But I’m pretty sure this is the real thing.” He was even whiter than before, and breathing in sharp gasps.

Sehun fumbled for his hand. “We’re going to be okay,” he said once more. “We planned for this.”

They’d planned to leave in the middle of the day, with no rush and as comfortable a delivery as possible, but they had still planned. They knew where to go, how the surgery would progress, and a rough timetable of events. That hadn’t changed.

“Luhan! Sehun!”

Eunji was already there by the time they made their way into the hospital. She was standing near the first nurse’s station, obviously expecting them, jotting something down quickly on a chart.

“Eunji,” Luhan breathed out, and looked as relieved as Sehun felt.

Chen was there a second later, clasping Sehun’s arm and saying, “You look a little pale there, Sehun. Come on, keep it together. Luhan’s the only one who gets to look like that.”

Eunji told Luhan quickly, “I’ve already started your admittance paperwork and we’ll have you in a room in about five minutes so I can look you over and decide what we’re going to do.”

“Decide?” Luhan choked out. “I know this is labor.”

Eunji gave him a placating smile. “Let your doctor decide, okay? You’d be surprised how convincing false contractions can be.”

It was a blur of time between them arriving and Sehun helping Luhan into a hospital gown. Then he sank into the seat next to the bed in Luhan’s room and scrubbed his hands over his head.

His fear was catching up with him, more than the normal panic he’d felt at learning Luhan was experiencing contraction. A more debilitating fear was creeping all around, and suddenly all he could think of was the hospital Jae had been taken to after his accident.

This wasn’t the same hospital Jae and Seoyoung had died at. It wasn’t even close to the hospital that had happened at, but the walls looked the same. The floor looked the same. The lights were just as bright and the coldness in the air was comparable. If Sehun didn’t know any better, he might think it was the same hospital. And that was an overwhelming feeling.

“Sehun?”

Socked feet dangling from the bed, Luhan looked worried at him. “Are you okay?”

Feeling ashamed, Sehun said, “I should be asking you that.”

But locked into his mind was the fact that nine months ago he’d lost the person he loved the most in the world, and he’d lost a child. He was in danger of the same thing happening again, no matter how routine Eunji claimed Luhan’s surgery was going to be.

“You don’t think you have a right to be as scared as I am?”

Sehun argued back, “I’m not the one about to have a baby.”

“Not technically,” Luhan replied. “But you’ve got more trauma associated with this than I do. And I love you, so I care if you’re having a hard time or not.”

Sighing heavily, Sehun raised himself from the chair and moved to Luhan’s side. “I just want to think about the positives. I want to think about how soon we’re going to be able to hold Youri, and what that means for us as a family.”

Before Luhan could reply, the door to the room was sliding open and Eunji came through with a tentative smile. “Okay,” she said, and gone was their friend, replaced with a medical professional. “Let me get a look at you and we’ll make some decisions.”

It was less than five minutes later that Sehun was leaning an arm up against the nearby wall, breathing deeply as Eunji explained to Luhan that delivery was necessary, and that he’d be heading up to surgery very soon.

“It’s okay,” she said, patting Sehun a little awkwardly between the shoulders. “You’re not the first father to freak out like this. But try not to be the latest to pass out. We’re going to need to be able to get Luhan out of this room without your body blocking the floor.”

“Funny,” Sehun said dryly.

He was going to be a father. Soon. Luhan was in labor and they were prepping for surgery. The full weight of that crashed into him.

“I’ll send a nurse in to get you started,” Eunji said, and not unkindly. “Then I’ll see you up in the operating room, Luhan, and Sehun, I’ll see you just after that.”

When she was gone Sehun collapsed against Luhan, one hand against his stomach, and said, “This is really happening.”

“Yes,” Luhan laughed out, sounding a bit more lighthearted. “I guess it really is. We’re going to be parents in a few hours.”

“You’re doing all the hard work,” Sehun said, his free hand cupping the side of Luhan’s face. “That doesn’t seem fair, but I love you so much for it.” His mouth pressed against Luhan’s and he had never imagined his feelings for Luhan could run deeper than they already had. But he was suddenly finding even more ferocity in the love he felt for Luhan, and it was utterly overwhelming.

Luhan all but burrowed into his side leaning further into the kiss. “I’m nervous,” he told Sehun eventually. “So nervous.”

Sehun felt a little stupid saying it, but he told Luhan, fingers tracing Youri’s movements, “I went to see Jae. I went to see where he’s buried, I mean. I’m not a believer. You know that. I don’t believe in any kind of afterlife or god or whatever. But Jae really did. And he believed with so much of his heart that there were times when I wanted him to be right. So there’s a chance he was. And if there is a god, if Jae was right, then there’s no way god wouldn’t make Jae one of his guardian angels.”

Luhan gave a soft hum.

“I asked Jae to watch over you,” Sehun continued. “I begged for him, if he’s up there and capable, to protect you and Youri. I want to believe that we’ve got that going for us today. And Eunji is an amazing doctor. I looked her up. She’s got a crazy impressive medical track record, and more than that, we trust her.”

“So be less nervous?” Luhan asked quietly.

“Maybe not that,” Sehun chuckled out. “I can’t see either of us being less nervous. But I think there’s something relevant and significant to how much we love each other, and how much we’ve fought to make this with Youri work. We’re going to get through today because we have to. Because we deserve to. That’s what I’m going to think about when they take you off to surgery. I’m going to think about how much I love you and trust you and how I’m going to probably cry like a baby the first time I see Youri and know I have you to thank for her.”

Luhan’s fingers brushed the pulse point at Sehun’s neck and he said, “I’m going to keep her safe, Sehun. I promised you that from the very beginning. I’ll keep her safe for you.”

“Keep yourself safe,” Sehun said, letting himself hold Luhan and simply feel him. “And know that I’ll be waiting for you the second that you’re out of surgery. Youri and I will be waiting.”

“All right,” Luhan said, and he sounded more confident than before. “I’m holding you to that.”

The nurse came next, pressing an IV into Luhan’s skin, helping him tuck his hair up into a protective cover, and holding consent forms out for him to sign.

Luhan signed the forms fearlessly, but Sehun felt absolutely traumatized by their presence. He knew what they were. He knew what they indicated. The hospital, he was certain the forms said, were absolved of responsibility if there were complications during the surgery which occurred naturally, and not due to any mistakes made by Eunji. If Luhan or Youri died, that would be the end of it, and Sehun couldn’t sue the hospital or hold them accountable for matters out of their hands.

The paperwork merely served as a reminder that Luhan could die. There could be uncontrolled bleeding or a rapid increase or decrease in blood pressure. Youri could go into fetal distress and never recover from it. A million things could happen that they’d have no way of seeing coming, and it would all be a fluke of bad luck.

“We’re ready,” the nurse said, tucking Luhan’s chart into the slot at the foot of his bed. She turned to Sehun and said, “You can walk with us until the final doors leading up to surgery.

It was happening too fast. As Luhan settled down in the bed, Sehun held his hand tightly, almost scowling at the extra nurses who appeared to roll Luhan’s bed out of the room. This was too fast.

“Sehun,” Luhan said, and squeezed his hand. “I want you to do me a favor.”

Chen was probably outside the room, but as they moved down the wide hallways all Sehun could see was Luhan, too pale against the white sheets.

“A favor?”

Anything. He’d do anything for Luhan.

They were following a blue line painted to the floor, and Sehun was only too aware that as soon as the line ran out, he’d be parted from Luhan.

“Call Xiumin?” Luhan asked. He gave Sehun’s hand another squeeze for good measure. “I promised him I’d let him know the second was in labor. It’s important that I have him here. I’ll feel better if he is. He’s my best friend.”

Sehun nodded quickly. “I’ll call him. I swear. I’ll get him down here no matter what.”

“He’s a heavy sleeper,” Luhan said with a grin. “Don’t try just once. He might not hear the phone the first try. Xiumin could sleep through an earthquake.”

“I will get him,” Sehun said, and it was a vow. “When you wake up, he’ll be here to tell you how beautiful Youri is.”

What was unexpected as Luhan saying, “Call Baekhyun after that.”

Sehun had already planned to make a million phone calls after he was forced to leave Luhan. D.O. had already left for work back in Europe, but everyone else, including a constantly anxious Suho, had wanted to be informed the second Luhan went into labor, if it happened before the scheduled date. Not to mention his mom. He had to call his mom and his sisters. There was no way they’d want to miss Youri’s birth. They’d probably kill Sehun if he let that happen.

But Baekhyun specifically? That was odd.

“Okay,” Sehun eased out, but he was confused. “Do I dare ask why? I know you two worked some things out, but--”

Luhan insisted, “It’s important. Take my word for it?”

Sehun saw the surgery wing’s double doors up ahead and his stomach bottomed out. This was it. The end of the line for him.

The nurse steering the bed gave Sehun a knowing look and let them slow to a standstill just before the doors.

“I love you so much,” Sehun said, hunching over Luhan like he could protect him from the world. “You are the most amazing person in the world and I’m so privileged to be someone you want to love back.”

“I love you too,” Luhan said, and then they were kissing madly, Sehun’s fingers craving the warmth of Luhan’s skin, desperate to eke out even a second more of time with him.

The nurse said, “That’s it.”

Sehun had never felt so alone in his life, watching Luhan disappear through the doors. That was his family he was losing sight of, a family that would either be better off in the end, or something so devastating Sehun wouldn’t want to go on without them.

“Sehun?” Chen said quietly from behind him. “Did they just take Luhan up for surgery?”

Sehun’s feet felt like lead, bolted to the ground as he stared at the blank, closed doors.

“Sehun?”

Blinking against sudden tears in his eyes, Sehun said, “I don’t think … there wasn’t enough time …”

“Come on.” Chen took him gently by the arms and led him away from the doors. Sehun wasn’t sure how Chen could make his legs work so easily. “It’s going to be a couple hours before we know anything.”

Before Sehun knew if everything had been smooth sailing, or if there’d been complications of the sort.

Chen took him to a nearby waiting room, pressed him down on a cushioned seat and then sat next to him. He put a hand on Sehun’s knee and said, “Eunji is the best doctor Luhan could have right now. She specializes in complicated pregnancies, and Luhan’s pregnancy hasn’t been that high risk. So you should be more than confident that she’ll take good care of him. She’s more than equipped to deal with any issues that pop up, and you know that.”

“I know,” Sehun echoed dully.

With some unease, Chen said, “Sehun, this isn’t like it was with Jae.”

It really wasn’t. Part of Sehun knew that. He’d gotten to spend time with Luhan just now, and they’d parted in the best way possible. Sehun had gotten to kiss him, and feel Youri, and know that Luhan was going into surgery strong. Sehun had felt him and known that.

Jae had been …

Seoyoung had likely been dead even before reaching the hospital. Sehun had never learned that for certain, but it was something he’d sensed. Seoyoung had probably died right after the accident, a result of the sheer blunt trauma. But Jae hadn’t passed until after he’d reached the hospital. Sehun hadn’t even gotten to see Jae before he died. He hadn’t gotten to hold his hand or tell him how much he loved him or anything. By the time Sehun had arrived at the hospital, Jae had already been rushed into emergency surgery.

“I know Luhan isn’t Jae,” Sehun said, gripping the arms rests of the chair. “I just …”

He just couldn’t shake the fear that even if they weren’t the same person, and the situation wasn’t nearly the same, the end result would be.

“I’m going to get you a cup of coffee,” Chen said, rising up to his feet. “I bet Luhan woke you right out of bed with the contractions. And something tells me you haven’t been  sleeping that well anyway. Stay here while I get you some coffee, then we’ll start making calls.”

“Chen,” Sehun said, snagging his sleeve. He realized now that this would have been a hundred times harder without his best friend there with him, taking care of him. “Thank you. For everything.”

Chen let his hand rest at the back of Sehun’s neck. “You’re practically my brother,” Chen said, his fingers warm and comforting as they pressed down.  “And this is what a brother does.”

Sehun’s head ducked down and he wasn’t sure how to get out his appreciation without breaking to tears that were already so close to the surface.

“Plus,” Chen chuckled out. “I know you’ll be the one keeping me together when Eunji and I decide to start a family. You’ll be the one bringing me coffee.”

Sehun said certainly, “You bet I will.”

“I’ll be right back,” Chen said, and jogged off to get the coffee.

The coffee, when Chen brought it back, actually helped. The jolt of caffeine kept him focused and steady enough to make his way to an area where he could use his cell phone. It was further from the waiting room than he wanted to be, but he didn’t plan on spending too much time away either.

He hoped Luhan forgave him, but his mother was the first person he called. He woke her out of bed, wincing as he could hear her yelling loudly in excitement, and then there was the sound of the call ending abruptly after that. It would have been comical under any other circumstances. But it was mostly comforting to know that she was on her way, that she’d support him, and that she’d bring his sisters with him.

Xiumin was just after that, and like Luhan had said, it had taken three different tries to get him to pick up his phone.

“What?” Xiumin had grumbled. “This better be important.”

For the first time Sehun cracked a smile. “Does your best friend being in labor count?”

Xiumin in a loud gasp of air. “Are you sure?”

Sehun rucked up some of his hair. “The nurses just took him in for surgery. Eunji’s in there with him now delivering Youri.”

“!” Xiumin hissed, and then came the distinct sound of him falling out of bed. “Why’d you wait so long to call me? What the is your problem?”

“Just get down here,” Sehun said, thumb inching towards the end call button. “I’ll call Kris. You pick up Tao. Divide and conquer.”

Across the cell phone area, Sehun could see Chen taking to someone who sounded like Chanyeol.

Divide and conquer.

In less than half an hour, which had to be insanity of some sort, Sehun was surrounded by his friends, and Luhan’s. Twenty more minutes and Sehun was wrapped up in his mom’s strong embrace. His sisters weren’t far behind.

“You doing okay?” Suho asked as the minutes dragged on. It was nothing but a waiting game and Sehun hated it.

Across the room Baekhyun’s knee was bouncing erratically, a tight and uncomfortable look on his face. Sehun had known Baekhyun for ages now, and he’d never seen him look the way he did now. But he’d been one of the first to arrive, though the last called, asking after Luhan with serious concern. So Sehun wasn’t sure what to make of him at all.

Sehun sunk a little into his seat as his mother’s hand rubbed across his back.

“Babies,” he told Suho, trying to sound strong, “get born all the time like this. They get born every day without complications. There’s no reason to think Luhan’s delivery is going to be any different.”

“That’s true,” Suho agreed. “But that doesn’t mean you don’t have a right to be worried. You’re crazy if you don’t think every father who ever waited for word on the delivery of his child, wasn’t worried half to death as well.”

“I just …” Sehun grasped at Suho’s hand. “I love him very much. I loved Luhan so easily after losing Jae I nearly sabotaged everything between us. And I can’t lose him, or Youri.”

Suho’s head knocked against Sehun’s gently. “Jae would be so happy for you, you know.”

Sehun had to crack the smallest of smiles. “He’d find it hilarious how I’m flailing around, terrified of the first moment I get to hold my baby. Suho, do you have any idea how many dreams I’ve had over the past few weeks about dropping Youri?”

“You’re not going to drop her,” Suho laughed out. “Luhan wouldn’t let you.”

Something terrible overtook Sehun. “What if Luhan’s not there to stop me?”

Suho scoffed. “You know that’s never going to happen.”

“You don’t know,” Sehun argued back. There was a hole in his stomach even now after being parted from Luhan. And it was only threatening to grow.

“I guess not,” Suho said. “But I have faith. It’s what Jae would have if he were here. I have faith that god will take care of Luhan and things will turn out the way they’re supposed to.”

Never before in his life had Sehun wanted to be a believer so badly.

“Suho?” he asked, eyes raking over the amalgamation of friends and loved ones spread out in the waiting room. “I don’t think it’ll mean anything coming from me. But can I ask you to do something for me?”

Suho shrugged. “Anything?”

“Pray?” It might have been a foolhardy thing to do, but Sehun felt like every bit might help. “Will you pray for Luhan and Youri?”

Suho threaded their fingers. “How about you pray with me?”

“But I don’t believe,” Sehun protested. “I can’t make myself believe something like that.”

“But I believe,” Suho said. “I believe enough for the both of us. Now, close your eyes and I’ll start.”

“I’ll pray with you too,” Sehun’s mom said, her hand rubbing more firmly across his back, and Sehun felt bracketed from both sides with love.

“Dear god,” Suho started, and Sehun clenched his eyes closed.

Sehun had to believe, even if he was forcing himself to, that Luhan was okay. He had to believe that Youri was being born perfectly healthy and as beautiful as Sehun imagined her to be. And there was some part of him, the most important part, that was relying on the belief that Luhan would come through no worse for wear and spend the next several decades being the love of Sehun’s life.

Because he couldn’t suffer devastating losses anymore. He couldn’t deal with having the most important part of him ripped away.

He had to have faith that Luhan would be okay, and that together they’d take Youri home to start a new life.

Sehun loved Luhan too much for any alternative to become reality.

Time passed slowly.

“Sehun,” Xiumin’s voice cut through Suho’s prayers and Sehun’s own thoughts.

Sehun jerked back into reality just in time to see a doctor in green scrubs approaching them. It wasn’t Eunji, but the male doctor was clearly headed for them, an unreadable look on his face.

News. He was bringing news.

But why was he bringing news and not Eunji?

Sehun shot up to his feet, ignoring how he jarred both his mother and Suho. “How’s Luhan?” he demanded.

Everything hinged on what came next, and Sehun held his breath as he waited.