“Hey, are you alright?” Jongdae asks, warmly smiling at you. “We’re almost done with this project, so if you’re tired, we can finish it some other time.”

“I think that would be better,” you mumble, a hand running through your hair as your face contorts into a wince from all the stress.

Bitter thoughts plague your mind like the clouds in the bright sky, leaving frustration to pass between your lips in a heavy sigh. Especially since the month of February arrived, you’re reminded of the unforgettable moments with that man, whose name you wish you could forget. It had been in February you shared your first date with him, and it had been in February you spent countless hours with him, most notably a romantic Valentine’s Day.

“It’s nice to see you talking more these days,” Jongdae says.

You’ve mentioned it before, but Jongdae is a nice person and deserves a partner so much better than you.

“I really hope you open up more,” he continues.

Something that feels an awful lot like guilt overcomes your cold demeanor, until-

“What are you thinking so deeply about?”

A low voice and soft laughter interrupts the flurry of thoughts whirring in your mind, and your eyes make out the figure of Kim Jongin in the warm sunlight behind you.

A warm drink is placed in your hands, and Jongin smiles, “Latte, as always.”

“Thanks,” you flatly state, an immediate response with no sincerity.

“Who’s this?” Jongin queries excitedly when he sees Jongdae. “So you do have friends.”

You simply grumble under your breath and lower your head so your disheveled locks can hide the tinge of red dusting your cheeks as Jongin examines Jongdae as if he’s an exotic species.

“I’m Kim Jongin,” Jongin greets. “We’re roommates.”

“I”m Jongdae,” the shorter male introduces. “We’re partnered up for a project.”

Jongdae turns to you with a beaming smile.

“I never knew you had a roommate,” he says softly. “I’ll be leaving, then. I don’t want to be a bother to you guys. We’ll meet up next Saturday to finish the project.”

It’s after Jongdae leaves that your annoying roommate continues on and on about your “potential to befriend others if you would only let them approach you.”

It’s after what seems to be an eternity that he falls silent, suddenly asking, “Are you free tonight?”

“Why?” is your response.

“We’re roommates, but these days you’re so busy studying in the library that we never get the chance to hang out. If we live together, we should hang out more.”

“I don’t-”

“Great, I’ll be at the apartment by six,” Jongin intercedes. “Just wait for me.”

Jongin seems like an honest and genuine man.

But you know, even those who seem genuine can’t resist the intrinsic tendency to break promises.

June 1, 2013

Kyungsoo had broken the news to you the night before.

“What?” you had spluttered. “He’s leaving so abruptly!”

The sudden blow to your heart had perhaps magnified when he refused to answer any of your messages or calls, so you took it upon yourself to visit the engineering department on campus to see if you could find him.

You remembered Chanyeol had told you that he was a member of some kind of robotics club on campus. You found out through some friends where this club met and when, so it was a lovely Saturday afternoon that you carried your broken heart to the room where Chanyeol would be.

You had pushed open the door timidly, your eyes widening and jaw dropping when you encountered Chanyeol resting against a desk, laughing at something his friend had said, another girl resting against him. He had turned to you, his eyes reflecting the surprise in yours when he found you at the door.

“What are you doing here?” he had asked.

“You send Kyungsoo to tell me that you’re going to study abroad all of a sudden, and you don’t contact me,” you had yelled. “Don’t you think I have the right to at least speak to you?”

“Why do you care so much?” Chanyeol had said, a forced smile shattering your already broken heart. “I mean, it’s not like we were together or anything,” he said, taking the girl’s hand into his.

“What the hell were all those times we went out together then?” you shouted. Tears threatened to fall from your eyes, but you held them in.

You weren’t going to cry in front of this man.

“Can we talk about this outside?” Chanyeol mumbled. You turned to see the other members of the club whispering to each other.

“Whatever you have to say, tell me here,” you told him. You were rather bold at times, and you wanted him to be ashamed in front of his friends.

“Fine,” the male sighed. “I thought we could make this work at first, but you’re just not my type. I am actually going to study abroad though, so just forget about me.”

“We’re going together,” the girl beside Chanyeol suddenly blurted. “Chanyeol told me about you. He says you’re always clinging to him, so I would appreciate if you could back off. We’re actually dating.”

“You had a girlfriend?” you choked, as a single tear rolled down your cheek.

“They’ve known each other for years,” another male in the room had told you. “They’ve only started dating recently, but they’ve been friends since high school.”

The growing lump in your throat impeded your speech.

How could you have trusted him so easily?

How could you have been so naive?

The same male said, “Aren’t you the girl that keeps trying to get between Chanyeol and his girlfriend?”

The other people in the room had turned to you slowly, oppressive stares weighing you down and a swell of hushed murmurs about how you were so desperate causing your ears to ring.

You turned to Chanyeol and croaked, “What the hell did you tell others about me? Did I mean nothing to you?”

“The only reason why I continued to hang out with you was because you were Kyungsoo’s friend, alright? You looked so pitiful, and Kyungsoo always talked about you. There was nothing else between us.”

Bitter anger had already overcome your once bright countenance, as you spat, “You know what? you, Park Chanyeol.”

You had never run so fast when you left the building.

That experience was one that even Kyungsoo’s advice and comforting embraces could not urge you out of your bed for the next few days.

But the true blow was the tarnishing of your reputation.

It was perhaps an overstatement to say the whole campus knew about you, but Chanyeol was a popular man and so was his girlfriend. You were pretty sure the whole engineering department knew you as the desperate one who ruins relationship, and half the girls on the campus looked down upon your so-called sultry behavior.

And it was from that moment that you wore a mask to hide your fragile heart.

Wearing an iron mask and hardening your once soft heart had certainly helped with the malicious comments against you. It’s been nearly a year, and it seems like everyone has forgotten about the incident. And though forgotten, those who encounter you wonder why you’re so cold towards others, and there’s the occasional rumor that you were actually bright and bubbly once but a mysterious incident had caused your demeanor to darken.

“Hey, you’re zoning out again,” Jongin chuckles.

You simply blink once, twice, until you remember you’re sitting across from Jongin in a dimly lit restaurant, plate of food sitting before you untouched.

“You haven’t said one word since we arrived at the restaurant,” Jongin complains.

You remain silent and simply stab at the chicken on your plate with a fork.

Jongin is uncharacteristically silent as well. You begin to notice, his eyes are trained on his plate rather than on you.

“I hope you don’t mind,” he begins, a hint of hesitancy in his voice. You find his sudden attitude unsettling, for Kim Jongin is never hesitant. “But Kyungsoo told me what happened a year ago.”

You feel your body tense up and a sort of bitter anger towards Kyungsoo.

“I don’t want to talk about that,” you say. “And I have no intention to.”

“Talking about it is the only way you’re ever going to get over it,” Jongin urges. “I didn’t know what happened and I thought you just had trouble trusting others. I’m sorry if I didn’t realize there was a deeper reason why, but I want to help you even more now.”

“That is none of your business, and I would greatly appreciate if we could change the topic of this conversation.”

Jongin catches how you falter as you try to maintain your cold facade, your lip slightly trembling and the wince that mars your features.

“Listen,” Jongin consoles. “That Park guy was a jerk and I know he’s hurt you in a lot of different ways. But I’m not going to do the same thing, I’m not going to leave your side.”

You feel his gaze tracing your slumped figure, and he waits for you to look up, for your eyes to meet his honest ones.

“I want to help you and I mean it,” he repeats once more. “But I can’t do it without your trust.”

His lips crack into a gentle smile.

“Will you trust me?”

Perhaps your naive self has gotten hold of your heart once more, or perhaps you simply are convinced that Jongin will help you.

Because amidst the tears that cloud your eyes and aching pains in your heart, you find yourself nodding.

~~

Note: I've had people on tumblr ask me if Chanyeol will make a comeback later in the story, but sadly, Chanyeol will remain in the past. He will not be in the present story, and his only appearances have been in flashbacks. Once again, thank you for reading! <3