Namjoon didn’t like Wednesday nights. They were the awkward in-between of the week, not early enough to still carry the high of the weekend before, but not so late that he could justify getting drunk. He had classes at 8:30 am but could never fall asleep and sat through the night on their tattered living room couch, painfully aware of Yoongi’s snores and the tick tick of the old clock.

HELLO WORLD

4/6/2015

What exactly does an idea cost? A penny for a thought? Two cents if you voice it? Or nothing at all, when nobody hears? I used to think ideas were worth so much more. I’d throw mine around like they were gold, so proud of my intelligence, my foresight, my depth of thinking. I don’t do that anymore. I’d say I was happy about it, but I don’t do that anymore either. Happiness that is.

I realized it this morning in Philosophy. That’s the class of ideas, right? Anyway, there was a discussion. I forgot what it was about, and frankly I don’t care. It’s not important to the story. But yeah, there was a discussion about something and everyone had these different opinions about stuff. Like one kid was arguing that humanity is hampered by illusions of morality and that without the false imaginings of right and wrong we’d all be so much happier. Which got me thinking, what is happiness?

Turns out I don’t know. Or don’t remember, which I guess is probably worse. The dictionary says it’s the “state of being happy” which is absolute bull because you can’t use the word in the definition. So I looked up its synonyms instead. Pleasure. Contentment. Satisfaction. Joy. I definitely can’t remember the last time I felt those. Except for maybe contentment... Though in hindsight I’m not sure if I was content, or just too apathetic to be discontent. Either way, it’s been a