The third time Namjoon blogged it was intentional and painful and freer than anything he'd thought possible. Granted, he was sober at the time and alone, with no fear of Yoongi barging in. His roommate had gone to Hongdae for the night to rap. Initially Namjoon planned to go with him, but then he got the call that brought him to a grinding halt while the world spun on without him. He'd heard Yoongi ask if he was going to get in the car. Namjoon could do little more than stand shell-shocked. Yoongi left without him.

 

HELLO WORLD   3.3.2015 I was thinking a few minutes ago. I remember it, or at least, I remember trying to organize the thoughts. I don't remember what I was actually thinking though. I'm just.. empty. I don't like being empty. I don't know how to fill myself back up because I don't even know what's missing.   Actually, all of that is a lie. I know what's missing. It's V, my little brother. You wouldn't know him, if you've somehow managed to stumble across this, but you should know that he's sick. Very very sick. My parents don't talk about it. Instead they just share pinched faces and covert looks and medical bills. So many medical bills. I don't even know how they're still helping me pay for college. True, I'm on an almost full scholarship, but books are still anywhere from one to two thousand a year.   The doctors say it's curable, that it was caught in an early stage. They pretend they can fix it every time they cut him up in a pointless attempt to remove the cells that slowly destroy his body. If they can fix it then why does it keep coming back? Because it keeps coming back.   And do you know what's the worst?   It's V's smile. His ing innocent, happy, loving smile. The kid has been in and out of the hospital ever since he was eight. Ever since he froze on stage and collapsed under clinically white burning lights. He doesn't know his childhood because he hasn't had one for the past nine year