03/04/2015

Namjoon collapsed onto his bed in a swirl of grey, two parts physically exhausted and one part mentally drained. Visits to the hospital always did that to him. There was something about the clinical white of the walls and the pale green curtains that the life out of Namjoon. Maybe it was the regret he could feel soaked through the walls. Everywhere people moved in ill-fitting pajamas—white with tiny blue diamonds printed on the fabric in straight perfect lines—some accompanied by friends or family, and others only accompanied by the shades of those who had traveled into the hospital, stayed a while and then floated away like bubbles on a windy day. He pulled out his laptop, more through habit than anything, and opened it to find his blog smiling back at him, still open from the night before. Suddenly writing didn’t seem like such a bad idea.

HELLO WORLD 

3.4.2015

There are not many things in this world that I hate. Hate takes energy. Hate takes determination. A wise man once said that hate is only one step removed from love. I think he’s right. Love is an all-consuming feeling. It takes everything you are, tears it from you, lays it on a table for all to see, cleans all your inner parts, and exchanges some for parts that fit the love better, only to stuff everything new back into you where everything old is supposed to fit, all because of goodbyes that crack the heart. Hate is like that too.

So, if you’ve been reading my blogs at all, you’ll probably understand when I say that I don’t hate many things. But there is one thing that I definitely hate. I hate it because the hate is comfortable, easy, deserved. What is it?

Green.

The color.

I hate the color green. Why? Because green is the color of hospital curtains. Green is the color of my mother’s pills. Green is the color of the worn chairs of the waiting room. Green