“Yah! Myungsoo! You have not been moving for the past 30 minutes!” Ahreum protested.

She was here to break the good news of her interview opportunity at Seoul National University to her best friend. However, Myungsoo had been blankly staring at his photo folder the whole time. He looked as if he was frozen by some magic. Ahreum crept up from behind and was about to give his best friend a good scare when he suddenly turned.

“I have decided.” He exclaimed excitedly, taking Ahreum by surprise. 

“I’ll send in my Sakura photo for the beginner photography competition.” He snapped his fingers.

“You’re joining a new competition again?” she asked, shifting closer to see the screen.

Myungsoo noticed how he could feel the body warmth of his best friend from behind and how he could also faintly smell the scent of her favourite shampoo. Brushing those unimportant details aside, he quickly showed Ahreum his after-edit work.

“I will name my work as Fallen.” He said proudly.

Ahreum never understands why he’d choose fallen petals over the beautifully bloomed sakura trees. If she had understood, maybe things would have been different.

“Anyways, what were you saying before that?” Myungsoo continued typing on his computer as he asked.

He was all pumped up for the competition as he typed his entry essay. Ahreum smiled at how excited her friend became the next instant. Then, she decided to keep the interview as a secret from him. She wanted to surprise him with a good news.

“Nothing.” She lied.

“I’m going home to record a new cover. Byeee~ Hwaiting for your entry! And don’t forget to pack your bag for school excursion tomorrow!” She reminded.

“Okay! See you tomorrow at 3pm~” He waved.

-

Ahreum replayed her recording as she critically wrote down more pointers for improvement. She needed it to be perfect. Every single note. Every single beat. Every single emotion. Looking at the clock, she told herself she’d redo it just one last time. It was 3am and she could feel her drooping eyelids weighing down more than before. Retrying it for the last time, she began to feel the painful strain in more than before. Ignoring it, she put her 200% effort in the last try and finally, she got an almost perfect shot. Hugging her recording mp3 in her chest, she switched the lights off.

“Park Ahreum, you can do it.” She told herself.

The next morning, Ahreum found herself standing before Seoul National University 30 minutes early. She adjusted her dress which she carefully picked out. It’s her favourite black dress. Tugging at her dress, she inhaled deeply. Standing before the gates of her dream school, out of a sudden, everything felt so real.

“#013 Park Ahreum-ssi, you may go in.” The lady announced.

“Excuse me.” Ahreum stood up and shuffled past the other candidates, bumping into a couple of them in the process. One of the guys rolled his eyes and clucked his tongue in disapproval. Ahreum inhaled deeply, trying her best not to be affected by him.

“I am sorry.” She apologized softly as she continued making her way down the row.

Ahreum knocked on the door lightly before opening it. She walked in and put on her best smile for the three judges. One of the judges were drinking water but when he met eyes with Ahreum, he choked. Ahreum lowered her gaze immediately as he coughed non-stop.

“So… You’re Park Ahreum?” he asked, clearing his throat.

“Yes. I am #013 Park Ahreum. Nice to meet you.” She bowed respectfully.

Ahreum could feel the judges scanning her from head to toe. From the corner of her eye, she thought she noticed the two of them at the side exchange glances and bite back a mocking smile.

“I must have seen it wrongly.” She thought to herself, shaking the thoughts away.

“Alright. You may begin.” The centre judge said, leaning back in his chair.

Ahreum nervously gripped the mic stand and cleared .

“The song I am singing is ‘A goose’s dream'. Hope you’d enjoy…

I have a dream,
Even if I’m thrown away or ripped to shreds
Deep in my heart
I have a dream as precious as gem

If by chance, without a reason,
Somebody ridicules me behind my back-

Ahreum choked on her tears as her voice became unstable. She recalled the moment when they threw the mirror in her face, telling her she can never sing with that face of hers. She remembered how she used to hide in the basement room to record her covers. The flashbacks were beginning to distract her. Ahreum recollected herself and continued singing as if nothing was wrong. However, she began to feel the strain in . It was getting harder as the note went higher. Then, her voice cracked. 
She could feel her heart racing in anxiety as she continued singing. 

I should be patient
I would wait just for that day.

As you always worry,
You say that foolish dreams are poisonous.
Just like a book that tells us about the end of the world
There’s the reality that we can’t turn back already

Yes~ I have a dream.
I believe in that dream-”

“That’s enough.” The female judge cut Ahreum off halfway and smiled.

She clapped and the other judges did the same.

“You may go home and wait for news.” She said, writing down something on the paper.

While Ahreum was walking out, she was certain she heard the judges’ exchange this time.  

“It’s a pity. Her voice is not too bad but she looks like a pig…”  

“Shh. She’s still here.” The female judge hushed the other judges.

Ahreum snapped back at the judges who kept quietly immediately. They plastered a fake smile across their face, just like her homeroom teacher.

“Ahreum-ssi.” The female judge suddenly called out.

“Don’t give up, alright?” she said.  

Now, Ahreum knew the interview results for certainty.

“That’s the downside of blind testing all the way until the last round.”

“Who would want to listen to someone looking like this on stage?!”

“Let’s call the next candidate in.”

She wanted to unhear those words so badly but she couldn’t. They kept talking, all the way until she was out. Ahreum looked into the window reflection and touched her face. They were right. She was ugly, so much uglier compared to her voice. However, she still hoped they heard her till the end because the song carried words she wanted to tell the world. She wanted so much to believe in her dream until today. She thought the professors in this school would be different. In the end, everyone was just the same. All they see was a 100kg girl standing before her. They never saw her efforts and they never feel her pain. They never did. 

-

Ahreum puts her heavy haversack down on the floor as she stood at the back of the class’ queue. Her classmates were excitedly talking about what to do on the trip. Another group was excitedly playing games and flicking each other’s foreheads. Others were also happily chatting away. Suddenly, Ahreum felt she stood out like a sore thumb more obviously than before. Ahreum’s gaze stopped at Yoori who was laughing away with her group of friends.

Ahreum would be lying if she wasn’t jealous. Yoori had everything. She was pretty and rich. She had many friends. She was always so well-accepted regardless where she goes. Despite the devil inside of her, people only notices her pretty appearance. Everyone treated her like an angel and shunned Ahreum like dirt. Jung Yoori was the complete opposite of the pathetic Park Ahreum. Maybe, this was how superficial the world has always been. Ahreum laughed quietly to herself. Nobody hears it.

The excursion bus finally arrives at Chuncheon bus terminal after a torturous and bumpy ride. The teacher dispatched everyone to their respective sleeping places. Ahreum sat on the bed carefully but it still creaked under her weight, earning some stares from her classmates. Unpacking her bag, she noticed the cap she put inside her haversack. She wanted to return it to Joonmyun. It had been with her for way too long.

“We will be gathering in 45 minutes for dinner.” The vice president shouted.

Ahreum holds the cap in her hand as she recalled how he put it on for her when she was crying her eyes out.

“I don’t know what happened but I hope this helps.”

She still remembers the exact words he said to her that day. Every single word.

“Yoori?” Sunggyu thought to himself.

He saw her heading to the other part by herself with a phone in her hand. He smiled to himself unknowingly as he followed her. He wanted to surprise scare her. It felt fun.

“Hello?” she said.

“Remember the Kim Joonmyun from before? I have checked. He’s in your school.” Her mother said.

“Umma!” Yoori half-shouted over the receiver.

“You’ve got to be close to him. His father is very important to our new project.” Her mother said.

Yoori felt her eyes water at her mother’s words. She didn’t know when she became less of her mother’s daughter but more like a piece in her mother’s chess game. It was beginning to get tiring. Yoori took a step back upon realizing Sunggyu was standing a distance away.

“I got it. I have something to do. I’ll hang up first. Bye!” Yoori abruptly hung up.

“Who were you talking to?” he asked, putting his hands in his pockets. She looked flustered, he realized.

“Just my mom.” She smiled, pretending nothing was wrong.

“Want to go for a walk together?” Sunggyu offered.

Yoori hesitated for a moment. She wanted to say ‘Yes’ but instead, she shook her head.

“It’s okay. I have something to do.” She said before leaving.

Sunggyu felt disappointed at her rejection but he didn’t say anything more.

“Alright. In that case, I’ll see you around.” He waved.

-

Yoori saw someone sitting alone as she walked back to the campsite. His back looked familiar. Walking slightly closer, she realized it was Joonmyun. Yoori walked up to him, putting on her best smile.  

“What are you looking at?” she asked, pretending to be curious.

“Jung Yoori-ssi?” Joonmyun exclaimed.

“You’re a student in my school?!” His surprise felt never ending.

She chuckled at his cuteness before nodding at his words.

“What are you doing here alone?” she asked, looking up too.

“Nothing much.” He said.

“And what’s with those spectacles of yours…” She touched them lightly.

“Haha is it weird?” Joonmyun laughed at her comment.

“It’s not too bad.” She played along and they both laughed.

“I am looking at the stars.” He said as he pointed at the nightsky.

“There’s a constellation there.” Joonmyun traced the stars.

“Where is it?” Yoori tried harder to look. She noticed how his face was getting closer to hers.

“Hey.” She suddenly called out. Joonmyun looked back at Yoori to find her crashing her lips onto his. He wanted to push her away but he didn’t. The moonlight shining on her was intoxicating and Joonmyun was too busy observing how she looked pained kissing him. Little did he know, two people were watching them from afar. It didn’t take Sunggyu long to realize it was his best friend and Yoori making out in a distance. He clenched his fists so hard until his knuckles turned white. Ahreum stopped walking as she spotted two figures from afar. She dropped the cap in her hand into the mud and covered . Tears fell instantly upon realizing who they were.

“He’s especially kind to the stray dog who has no friends in our neighbourhood.”

She was right. Joonmyun was just nice to her because he pitied her. Instantly, Ahreum realized how big a fool she was thinking Joonmyun could have slightest interest in someone like her. It was only normal that guys would like girls like Yoori. Turning her back, Ahreum held her breath, afraid that they would spot her. For a moment, she thought he was different. Ahreum laughed quietly to herself yet again as she made her way back to the campsite. Her heart ached so much, she wanted to rip it out.

It was past lights out hour and Ahreum was just sitting by herself on the bench. The leaves of the trees rustled above her as she looked up at the night sky.

She tried finding the faintest star in the night sky.

“Yah! Why didn’t you reply my message?” Ahreum looked ahead to find her best friend standing before her.

Ahreum didn’t know why but tears started falling again upon seeing Myungsoo.

“Yah… What’s wrong?!” Myungsoo panicked upon seeing Ahreum’s endless tears.

“Everything…” Ahreum sobbed harder. She wanted to tell Myungsoo about how she failed her dream university's interview, how they were bullying her non-stop in school and how Joonmyun was no different than the other guys out there. She wanted to say so many things but instead, she remained silent. She felt like a burden. 

 “Don’t worry, don’t cry and tell me what happened...” Myungsoo came closer and hugged Ahreum.  

Ahreum could feel her fats pressing against Myungsoo and it made her hate herself even more.

“Ahreum... What happened to you?” Myungsoo asked again after she had calmed down.

“It’s nothing.” Ahreum faked a smile, avoiding eye contact.  

“Park Ahreum! You have been hiding so many things from your best friend lately.” Myungsoo's tone was getting annoyed. He really hated how she was always crying before him and refusing to tell him what was wrong. It was so suffocating.

“You can’t help me even if I tell you, isn’t it?” Ahreum laughed.

“If you don’t tell me, how would you know I can’t help?!” Her words sparked something within Myungsoo. 

Ahreum looked up into his eyes wordlessly, “Because the problem is me.”

“Fine. If you’re not saying anything, forget it. I am tired. I’ll go back and sleep first.” Myungsoo stood up and left.

Myungsoo seldom gets angry and it made Ahreum think she was really a bad friend.

“Myungsoo, I think I’ll be at that spot in the future.” Ahreum said quietly to his back as she pointed up but Myungsoo didn't hear her.

"It's time, Ahreum. Let's go to a better place together." The voice said and Ahreum smiled. 

Author's Note: 

Thank you for reading 'Scarred Beauty' and please comment to show some love!
It will greatly motivate me to write and update more quickly.<3
I sincerely hope you've been enjoying the story thus far.