2:32 PM

I can't feel anything. I swallow but my mouth does it so slowly that it doesn't even feel like I've done it at all. 

My eyelids feel heavy and I stare up at the cieling, at the ridges and bumps along and the sunlight that casts a light glow over the wall. My fingers twitch by my side and I want to know what's going on, I want to know where I'm at, why I'm here and what's wrong.

My eyelids flutter like they want to shut again but I make myself stay awake, make myself keep my eyes open.

It's hard, God it's so hard but I swallow back more saliva and hesitantly try to sit myself up but it's too hard. My body feels sore all around, my muscles scream and my bones ache as I try to shift but even just the slightest movement has me wincing. I squeeze my eyes shut to will away the pain and lay back against the bed, my vision feels slightly blurry around the edges but I can make out the room a little more now.

There's a large glass window on the opposite side, some frames on the other side and a large machine set up next to me. There's a heart monitor, an IV drip, some more equipment on the side and just as I look down, cords attached to my hand and a tube that's attached to my nose.

My hands twitch slightly and I lift them up slowly to feel around, only to freeze when I see the scars on my skin. It's healed obviously, but there are angry red scratches, the joints look slightly mangled and my other hand looks just the same, only it's bandaged up.

Just as I'm about to further  inspect myself, the door opens up and in walks a woman with scrubs on and a lab coat over as her forehead creases but evens out as she sees me. Her face looks oddly familiar but then again I could just be mistaking her since I actually don't know who she is at all. She's thin, hair pulled back into a ponytail and glasses perched on her nose but she can't be much older than myself because she looks so young.

I watch her as she tucks a clipboard underneath her arm and she moves over to the other side to check the equiptment before stealing a glance down at me. I look at her briefly but I turn my gaze away when I start to feel uncomfortable, I don't know why but my stomach churns in nervousness.

She doesn't even say anything for awhile, she just pulls her clipboard back out and writes down something with quick drawls of her hand, sometimes looking down but then back again at the clipboard. The noise is deafening, the silence that surrounds me feels like too much, like I can't bear to be around it the more I lay in this bed.

The only thing that resonates in my ears are the sound of the IV drip and the heart monitor that sounds routinely and monotone in the back of my head. I swallow again and it feels heavier than the last time, like I have to try harder to push myself to do something so natural. My hand that isn't bandaged up, curls in nervousness around the blanket and the woman finishes writing whatever it is down before sighing.

I think she's going to leave again but she doesn't. She glances back down at the floor and before I know it, she's leaning over to lay a hand against my arm. I flinch away like I've been scalded with hot water, I pull my body in the opposite direction so fast that my muscles scream in agony and she immediately jerks her hand away.

Tears push against the back of my eyes and I sink my teeth into my bottom lip but everything hurts, I'm so confused and so nervous and so afraid that I don't want to be around anyone. I just want to get out of here.

The woman's face looks crestfallen, hurt actually and just as her eyes turn downward, she brings her hand back to the front pocket of her lab coat. When she sighs it's then that I can see how exhausted she really is and the tiredness on her face that makes her look older than a few minutes ago. My eyes are still staring at her and my body is still tense, not sure whether she will make another move to touch me or say anything- so I don't dare move.

The creases are back in her forehead again and her lips are chapped, the bottom almost looks like it might start to bleed if she were to even bite down on it. Her skin is really pale, almost like a sickly color and her eyes have bags underneath them- most likely from not sleeping enough. I swallow again and her eyes flicker up, they're such a deep shade of brown that it makes you want to stare at them until you figure out what it's supposed to be.

"Are you alright Hae? I know you've been--"

"Who are you?" I cut her off.

Her face recoils in shock and her lips turn downward and I know I've upset her once again. Her eyes look so lost and sad that I don't even think she's a doctor for a moment if it weren't for her calm demeanor earlier and the nametag attached to her coat with the ID picture.

I want to read what it says but as hard as I squint my eyes, I can't make it out- the letters too small.

"What?" she says shocked.

Her voice is so small and I notice a new expression as her eyebrows furrow. "What did you just say?"

I my lips and continue to stare at her until I find my voice again.

"W-Who are you?" my voice wavers slightly.

"Hae..." she starts out slowly.

She says my name so easily, it rolls off her tongue like she's been doing it for a long time and for some reason a weird feeling stirs in the pit of my stomach at that. But of course, wouldn't a doctor know the names of their patients?

"It's me, Young, you know that," she frowns.

Now I'm really confused. My lips twitch and I pull the blankets closer to myself, trying to hide or at least put some space between us. What is this woman talking about?

"Hey," she steps closer.

I shake my head quickly and try to scramble backward but I can only get so far in this bed with wires still stuck inside my arms. "D-Don't," I stutter.

"Please don't come any closer to me," I say nervously. "Please I don't know you,"

My teeth start chattering and I can feel my hands shaking for some reason as the sweat starts to build along my hairline and the palm of my hands. The heart monitor starts beating quickly almost too fast and that makes me even more nervous as the tears start to well up in my eyes. My body is in so much pain and my head hurts so bad, the longer she keeps staring at me with that look, that look of utter anguish only feels like it will swallow me whole. 

The clipboard clutters to the floor noisely and her arms fall limp at her sides as she stares at me in disbelief. "Oh my god," she breathes.

 

--

 

Young's POV

I feel so sick to my stomach that I bolt out of the room without another word. I move so fast, pushing people out of the way and racing down the hall that I don't hear the other doctors, the other nurses calling out for me in alarm. My mind can't even process anything, let alone take notice of the people around me or the stares that I get from bewildered staff. All I can hear is the blood rushing through my ears and the pounding of my heart as it fills my entire head.

I make it down the next level and I clamber into the bathroom noisely, it's completely empty and I don't waste another second running into the handicap stall. My knees drop down to the floor harshly and by then I'm already leaning over the toilet bowl and puking my stomach contents out. Tears sting the back of my eyes and everything is moving so fast around me, everything is spinning and toppling like a line of dominoes tumbling down and I don't know what to do. My hands shake against the toilet bowl and by the time I can't throw up anymore, I'm pushing myself back against the door and shaking violently so, that I can almost hear my bones vibrating.

Water runs over my cheeks and my chest constricts in the worst possible way, so tight and so painful that I can't help but continue wailing, continue sobbing as it feels like the cieling is going to suddenly collapse on me. My hands find purchase on my knees and I pull my legs up to make myself as small as possible but it's no use.

Alll I can hear is her words over and over again, her eyes as they stared back at me and that look on her face. God that look, like she thought I was going to hurt her. Me, a complete stranger.

It's only when I hear a door bang against the wood loudly, then hurried steps that I find someone yanking the door to the stall open and gasping in horror.

"OH MY GOD!"

The person drops down beside me and I feel their hands come around to grab a hold of me but I can't register what this person is trying to do. My body only shakes more and its getting so hard to breathe, like my chest is filled with water and any moment it's going to burst and spill everywhere. I'm panicking and I'm doing it so violently that spots starts to dance around my vision and my lips twitch automatically.

"Someone help me!" the voice screams.

"Help me!"

"Please help!"

Their voice sounds loud and shrill but my mind is already too far ahead to register. It isn't long before more people clamber in and they hurriedly try to take a hold of me, there are hands and arms grabbing m