​*​Solar feels she's inadequate and Moonbyul does her best to show her that's not true (Moonsun)

---

Solar’s fingers pluck at the collar of her sweater, mouth grimacing as she turns her body this way and that, head contorting along in jerky directions to scrutinize her outfit. Her body. Her face. But the longer she looks, the greater the frustration.

 

Lying on her bed is a cute little top that she’s considered breaking in. The weather’s just about getting warm enough for flimsier clothing and months of hustling to classes in sweatshirts and sweatpants is one habit she wants to break out of. Maybe she’ll finally stop being just a generic shadow of a student in the back of a lecture hall or the reserved student in the corner of a classroom trying to avoid the questions of the instructor.

 

But she never feels quite ready. Grimacing her teeth, Solar delicately lifts the corner of her sweater to expose her midriff in the mirror and she shudders as she lets the cloth drop back down.

 

Maybe she’ll try another day.

 

It’s ridiculous how something inanimate, so seemingly harmless can make her feel like even on her best days, can make her feel inadequate the moment she musters the slightest drop of dignity.

 

She grumbles her displeasure as her hands wrap around back front to zip up her jeans, slight flash of horror rushing through her when the zipper snags halfway. Has she gained a few pounds too many over break? Has her jeans simply shrunk in the wash?

 

Solar squeezes her eyes shut, hoping for the latter and in a deep breath, relief spilling back out when a second attempt on the zipper fully closes it.

 

Picking up her backpack that’s leaning against the side of her mirror, she leans forward once more into the mirror to evaluate her appearance.

 

It’s not fair. She can’t fathom why the moment she gets within a yard’s distance of a reflective surface, she’s stuck scorning the figure that mockingly looks back at her. It’s a pair of bloodshot eyes from a few too many late nights, dark circles drooping nearly halfway down her face. It’s an untamable mass sitting on the top of her head, endlessly victorious against her daily battle with her brush. It’s her cheeks that have ruthlessly retained their baby fat, below skin that blatantly reflects the unsound college diet of ‘cooking’ for herself.

 

She really hates it.

 

Solar rips grudging eyes from the offending view and stalks out her apartment, slamming the door.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Oh god,” mutters Wheein as she’s peering over Solar’s shoulder to look at her phone calendar, “that’s got to be the tiest possible schedule I’ve ever seen. 6 straight hours of back to back class isn’t a joke, Solar.”

 

“Like I have a choice,” she shrugs in reply. “Least I’ll be done after that and then I can just go home and curl up on my bed and do nothing.”

 

“Your five major classes beg to differ. I hear the professor’s rough on his essay grading.” Wheein digs her own phone out of her pocket and opens up her own schedule, frowning over the color-coded blocks. “Guess we won’t be able to do lunch together this semester. It’ll just be me and Hwasa then.” Her cheeks puff in disappointment as she slouches lower in the lecture hall seats.

 

“No Moonbyul?” Solar pulls her laptop out of her backpack as the professor walks out from the backdoor, talking to one of his assistants.

 

“Moonbyul’s got a pretty rough schedule herself. You know how the computer science majors are, always holed up in the department building finishing up their projects. Except their projects never end, according to Moonbyul.” Wheein giggles, fingers flying over her phone’s keyboard as she messages the girl. “She’s complaining about how some of the projects are partnered.”

 

“Not like she has an issue finding a partner though, right?” Solar sighs. “She’s pretty and charming, and it isn’t like their department is exactly oozing with these qualities.”

 

Wheein looks up from her phone to waggle her eyebrows with a sly wink. “Seems like someone sounds a little jealous.”

 

“Well, Moonbyul is...she’s just...everything.” Solar frowns, forehead crinkling. “Do you get what I mean? She’s smart and confident. I’m sure she already knows everything she wants to do and she probably wakes up everyday and looks in the mirror satisfied with where’s she going in life. It’s...It’s hard to not be impressed.”

 

Wheein looks at her, at Solar who’s gnawing on her lower lip while she pulls up an empty document on her laptop screen. “It’s more of perspective--”

 

The professor’s voice crackles over the speakers in the room, cutting into the multitude of conversations as he tests out the mic and opens the typical powerpoint of syllabus topics, laser pointer in hand.

 

Solar flexes her fingers, ready for note-taking.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

She’s done for the day, at her apartment’s wooden kitchen table browsing her course websites when a rapping on her window nearly startles an ear- piercing shriek from her lungs. Her notebooks and laptop are askew on the table, her chair’s toppled over, and her face is probably contorted in shock, but the face grinning from behind the panes looks anything but apologetic.

 

Next to the cheshire grin is a hand raised mid-knock, which slowly lowers when Solar establishes eye contact. The head motions a few times to the right, toward her balcony, and Solar gets the hint, righting her chair with a sigh before she treads towards the door and slides it open.

 

“Jesus, it’s still so cold in the evening.” Moonbyul shivers as she slips off her shoes, stepping hurriedly in Solar’s apartment.

 

“You should have worn something on top.”

 

“It was deceptively warm this morning. I’d rather not have to lug around a massive coat. Backpack’s heavy enough.” Moonbyul follows Solar as she heads back to the table, fixing the mess while Moonbyul takes a seat across from her. The girl raises one arm, plastic bag swinging from her grip and the tantalizing aroma of Chinese take-out floats through the air. “Wheein told me you haven’t eaten all day because of class.”

 

“That girl,” Solar mutters. “I...uh...I’m not really that hungry.”

 

“Are you ok?” Eyebrows nearly flying off as they shoot up in concern, Moonbyul leans over the table in a rush, back of her hand gently pressed flat against Solar’s forehead. “You seem fine,” she mumbles. “Do you need me to get you some medicine--”

 

“I’m not sick, Moonbyul, don’t worry so much. I’ve just been thinking of going on a diet anyways.” Solar smiles wanly as she speaks, throat gulping as she tries to avoid the temptation of the food in the bag.

 

“Diet? Why?” splutters Moonbyul.

 

“Got those pounds of fat I’ve been meaning to lose,” chuckles Solar, self-deprecatingly. “Should hit the gym a bit more this semester as well. Or try to at least.”

 

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Moonbyul’s eyes widen as her hands shoot forward and grab Solar’s, forcing the girl’s eyes to meet hers. A little angrily, she asks, “Is it because of someone? Did anyone tell you to do that? Did they--” she draws in a shaky breath,” --insult you?”

 

“No, it’s not that!”

 

“Then why would you feel the need to when you’re so b-beautiful already?” Moonbyul’s hands fidget ever so slightly as she holds Solar’s and her eyes drop a fraction of an inch, losing a bit of their ferocity for another emotion.

 

“Please, you say that to anybody.” Solar rolls her eyes, one hand sliding out of Moonbyul’s grip to flick the other girl on the forehead. “Greasy as ever to every single person you meet.”

 

“I don’t say that to anybody,” argues Moonbyul, hurt crossing her expression.

 

“You’ve even got Wheein and Hwasa cringing from your slick words, you know?”

 

“I call Wheein cute and Hwasa y because they’re exactly that.” Moonbyul shrugs, hands pulling back to tug the plastic bag in between them. Solar watches her movements, self-control on the brink of crumbling. “We’ve known each other long enough to know that I’m not one to lie.”

 

“But you’ve got an uncanny way of making other people feel good.” She knows that’s just it. Another of Moonbyul’s remarkable qualities, excellent interpersonal communication while she’s a self-destructive mess that spits out worse advice than a magic 8-ball.

 

And yet, Moonbyul’s eyes are always sincere, and she feels like she’s clinging to the edge of the warm amber that she’s nearly drowning in.

 

“I’m not lying when I said you’re beautiful, Solar.”

 

Moonbyul flips open the bento box with a smooth flourish, fingers grasping the wooden chopsticks before snapping them with a quick flick of the wrist. With the chopsticks, she digs into the still piping hot rice, carefully picking up a lump and blows on it. Her free hand goes underneath the lump, ready to catch any falling crumbs and she leans forward once more.

 

“Solar, you’re too harsh on yourself. I don’t get why you feel the need to change when you’re already--” Moonbyul coughs quietly to herself, cheeks pinking, “--perfect. Please eat.”

 

Solar’s eyes follow Moonbyul’s hand that shakes from the strain of holding the lump of rice steadily. Surely it can’t be too bad to take a few bites.

 

She leans forward, mouth parting to close over the offered mouthful. Her head tilts to the side as she chews thoughtfully, arms propped on the table. It is delicious, as expected. She should have known, since she and Moonbyul have always had similar tastes in food.

 

She’s just confused as to why Moonbyul looks happier watching her eat than eating it herself.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Woah now.” Hwasa steps back, hand on her hip as she runs her eyes up and down approvingly. “Trying for a new look, Solar?”

 

“I-Is it bad?” Suddenly self conscious, Solar clamps onto the edge of her loose crop top, elbows tucked to her side to try and reduce the amount of exposure. That shirt had sat on the edge of her bed again this morning, though it had been just a bit less taunting than the day before. “I knew I shouldn’t have--I should go back to change--”

 

“Damn girl, calm down. You look fine.” Hwasa nods silently for a few more seconds before a grin breaks out on her face. “Like damn fine, girl, you get me?” Grabbing her phone, Hwasa snaps a few quick pictures and grins rather evilly.

 

Solar narrows her eyes and strides forward to peek at what Hwasa’s so furiously tapping away at. “What’d you do?”

 

“Just sending your picture to Moonbyul,” snickers Hwasa.

 

“Moonbyul? Why her?”

 

“A-And Wheein, of course!” adds Hwasa, rather hastily as she pedals back a few steps. “Just sharing the new look. Yeah.”

 

“Oh. Ok then.” Though rather puzzled by Hwasa’s extra reaction, Solar still feels contentment bubble through her as she falls into step next to Hwasa.

 

“So, uh,” starts Hwasa, putting her phone back in her pocket, “is the new look something like a New Year’s thing? New year, new me, kind of thing?”

 

“Maybe? I’m not too sure myself.” Solar shifts her backpack a little higher, cold brushing against her lower back. “I just want to be confident, like what I see.”

 

“How do you feel today then?” Hwasa grins conspiratorially, nudging Solar in the side with a playful wink.

 

Solar ponders, fingers slipping into her front pockets to keep them the slightest bit warm. She’s spent less time today in the front of the mirror, where’s she’s usually cooped up inspecting every inch of her self. And even though the remnants of greasy Chinese takeout linger on in her stomach, there’s a startling lack of remorse within her.

 

“I feel better than yesterday.”

 

“That’s a start then.” Hwasa whistles cheerfully, speeding up her pace as the bell tower strikes the hour. “Look at you and Moonbyul working hard on your New Year’s resolutions, while Wheein and I are just waiting for the weekend so we can marathon Sherlock over chips and beer.”

 

Solar pulls the seat down and plops onto it with a groan, lifting her backpack to her lap so she can pull out her notes. “I can’t believe you’re thinking about the weekend already. School’s barely started.”

 

“Yolo. And start of semester means that we’ll have plenty of time to catch up.” Hwasa winks.

 

“You didn’t--” Solar gives up, shaking her head with a dramatic heave of her shoulders.

 

“Don’t be too jealous.”

 

“You wish.”

 

The professor coughs into the mic a few times and the room quiets down, eyes riveted towards the green chalkboard.

 

“By the way,” Solar whispers, in a sudden flash of thought, “didn’t you say Moonbyul had a resolution too? What is it?”

 

Hwasa glances at her once before turning her attention back towards the board, pen hanging loosely in hand over empty lines.

 

“Why are you pretending? It’s not like you’re going to really take notes anyways,” grumbles Solar. However, she drops the question, opting instead to begin jotting down notes as the pace of the lecture picks up.

 

She can always ask Moonbyul herself later.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Solar spins her pen around her fingers over and over, lips pressed tightly together at she stares at the stack of paper in front of her. To her horror, Wheein was indeed right about her organic chemistry professor being an and assigning problem sets the very first week of school. So now she’s stuck in front of her laptop, exercising her well versed Googling capabilities and trying to recall all the reagents and catalysts that their professor seems to expect them to remember from their first semester of organic chemistry.

 

Pft. As if anyone ever remembers anything after the semester ends.

 

After another tedious half hour spent scrawling and erasing molecular configuration after configuration, Solar rocks back on her chair, groaning out loud about terrible life decisions and stupid major prerequisites. She gets to her feet, walking to her electric kettle and pushes the button down after pouring a generous load of water into the container. Then, as she’s getting her empty mug and new tea bag from her shelves, a sudden low ringing from her laptop vies for her attention.

 

When she reads the name displayed above the flashing green call button, a chuckle escapes her lips and she immediately sits back down, fingers brushing across the touchpad to quickly accept the Skype call.

 

“Solar!” Moonbyul’s tinny voice blares out of her speakers, along with a pixelated, disrupted image of a girl waving her hand back and forth at her laptop camera. “Can you hear me?”

 

“I can hear you fine.”

 

“Did you turn on your cam? I can’t seem to see you…”

 

Solar’s finger hover over the video button. She looks down, grimacing at her lax attire and her other hand reaches up to her messily tied ponytail, wondering--

 

“Solar, if I wanted just a call, I would have just called your phone. Come on, please?” Onscreen, Moonbyul’s hands clasp together as if  begging.

 

Why the hell not. With a small gulp, brushing a few strands of hair out of her face, Solar turns on her own cam.

 

“There we go. Oh wow.” Moonbyul’s laugh carries in her speakers. “240p beauty. Now that’s real.”

 

Solar grumbles, “If you have the time to laugh, why don’t you tell me first why we’re video chatting when you literally live in the apartment building right next to me. You could literally roll up your window and we’d able to have this conversation. In HD.”

 

“I’m not actually home right now. I’m at a friend’s because we’re trying to get an early start at one of the projects. Since it’s so late I’ll be staying the night.”

 

“Then why’d you call?” Solar yawns, stretching her arms over her head. “Wouldn’t you guys still be busy?”

 

“We’re at a good place to stop for tonight.” Moonbyul scratches her cheek sheepishly before continuing. “And I--uh--I wanted to see you.”

 

“Again, Moonbyul, seriously. You live next to me. You can come over anytime.” Solar laughs, fanning her neck that has suddenly heated--

 

Her goddamn roommate must have turned the heater up too high again.

 

“One sec, I’m going to get some tea,” she says hastily, grabbing mug and tea bag the moment the click of her kettle gives way to bubbling water. One steaming mug of green tea later, she pads back to the table, careful not to spill.

 

“Looks like it’ll be a late night for you?” jokes Moonbyul. “Maybe I shouldn’t have bothered you with a call.”

 

“I needed a break anyways. I’ll see how far I get in this problem set later.” Solar brushes her work to the side decisively.

 

“Ooh did a new personality come with that new look? The Solar I knew would never stop working.” Even through the pixels, Moonbyul is smirking ever so slyly.

 

She gasps as she remembers. “What picture did Hwasa send you?”

 

“You looked great--”

 

“Show me.” Solar indicates with her finger demandingly, pout settling into her nervous lips.

 

With a great sigh that rolls off the speakers, Moonbyul fumbles around on her screen, reaching offscreen to grab a phone she then scrolls through. A few seconds later, Moonbyul scoots closer towards the camera, phone screen turned to face the lens, head darting side to side as she tries to make the picture visible.

 

“Can you see it?”

 

“It’s...can you pull back a little. There--oh--wait--back up--” After a few unfruitful minutes of trying to decipher the image, Solar gives up, nose crinkled in annoyance. “Never mind. It’s impossible.”

 

“Trust me, you look absolutely stunning in it.” The chirpy voice rings in Solar’s and she finds herself smacking first the speaker because it seems a little off, then her ears, because she keeps hearing that word stunning over and and over, and then she’s slapping her cheeks because for some reason her cheeks are twitching out of control in a goofy grin.

 

“I-I...what’s your resolution?” blurts Solar randomly, wanting to give her head another whack because what is meant to be a smooth and totally-not-so-awkward transition in conversation now sounds instead like an obsessive stalker interrogation.

 

“M-My what?” Surely the stutter is another issue with her speaker.

 

Solar decides to forge on bravely with her questioning. “Hwasa said you also have a New Year’s resolution. What is it?”

 

This time, a slew of coughs echoes from her laptop, and Solar wonders what in the world is going on from Moonbyul’s side. The other girl’s onscreen image jitters and Solar can no longer see Moonbyul’s face.

 

“Uh--- c-connection issues-- w-weather-- lag -- oh battery gone -- gotta go~~”

 

Through the jumbled mass of words, Solar really only catches the tail end of Moonbyul’s broken speech and nods, hoping that the girl is still able to see her actions despite whatever technical issues Moonbyul’s dealing with.

 

“Night then, Moonbyul.”

 

“Good night Solar.” Right as Solar is ready to exit the call, a slight mumble sounds and she bends her head closer, ear craned towards the speaker to catch, “--ove you.”

 

Then, the call really ends with a beep and Solar sits down, musing over the words with a hearty cup of tea.

 

‘Ove’?

 

Glove you? Nah. English please.

 

Shove you? Oh god, has she done something to Moonbyul’s she’s unaware of?

 

Love you?

 

Solar hisses in reflex when her second cup of tea is a tad too hot and scalds her lips and tongue as she mindlessly takes too big a sip. It’s too much, getting distracted, she scolds herself, especially when her precious laptop and homework is mere inches away from the boiling beverage.

 

Settling the mug down to the side, she pulls back her work with a tired sigh. These epoxides certainly aren’t going to react themselves. It’ll be a long night, as she predicted.

 

And she’ll really have to talk to her roommate about the heating, because flaming ears and flushed cheeks during the trailing end of winter is too much.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“And that’ll be all for today. Have yourselves a good weekend.” The professor chuckles as the lights in the lecture hall turn back on and a number of students subtly slumped asleep in their chairs sit back up straight.

 

Solar quickly shoves her notebook and pens back into her bag. Thankfully, this lecture has ended a bit early, and she might even be able to make a quick stop by one of the campus cafes and pick up a coffee and a snack before she rushes to her next class.

 

Among the clatter of other students packing and the synchronous swings of seats flipping back up, she scrambles to the aisles, hopping the steps with a caffeine-deprived urgency. Only to stumble, feet planting themselves disorderly in panic when the first face she sees on her way out the door is Moonbyul’s, frowning over her phone screen as she leans lazily against the wall next to another room.

 

The squeak of her rubber soles must have given her away, for Moonbyul raises her head, corners of quirking up when somehow, Solar’s unruly feet drag her away from a well deserved latte and towards the girl.

 

“Solar! Didn’t expect to see you here!” Moonbyul laughs, arms reaching forward for a hug, that looks ever so harmless, something that shouldn’t startle her because after all, they’ve been friends for a while. And friends hug.

 

But she’s stiff as a mannequin when Moonbyul’s arms embrace her, hands frozen at her sides, only able to awkwardly pat Moonbyul’s waist before they break apart. She should ask the girl. About that dove. Glove. Whatnot. Yeah.

 

Instead, however, she finds herself asking, “What are you doing here?” Really, couldn’t she have asked a more reasonable question? Solar mentally facepalms when she sees Moonbyul’s befuddled expression, backpack clear as day slung attractively over her shoulders. It’s not like she was expecting something, like, say, Moonbyul waiting for her.

 

Sheepishly rubbing the back of her neck, Moonbyul mumbles, “I kind of overslept this morning and missed my first class. Well technically, I overslept by half an hour. But I figured it wouldn’t be worth going to the rest so I decided to just sleep a bit more until this next class.”

 

“First week…” Solar raises a brow, amusement tugging the corners of up.

 

“I know, right?” Moonbyul gives a prolonged sigh, nose wrinkling in shame. “Bad habits die hard. But enough about me. Where are you headed?”

 

“Coffee. I’m dying.”

 

“I…” Moonbyul glances back at her phone, seemingly indecisive, but soon determination blazes over in her eyes. “I’ll come with you.”

 

Her eyebrows arch up in confusion at Moonbyul’s offer. “But don’t you have class?”

 

“It’s not like I’ve ever been on the greatest attendance streak.” The girl pulls herself off the wall, head cocked to the side as she motions Solar to follow. “And why would I ever turn down a pretty coffee date?” She winks, turning back towards the front to pull open the door graciously right before the blush rushes over Solar’s face.

 

“I-I never invited you,” mumbles Solar in a small voice, but without intention or malice. She keeps her head ducked when she mumbles her thanks to Moonbyul, who’s holding the door open with a wide grin.

 

And it’s definitely the brisk, cold wind that makes her cling to Moonbyul’s side, arms naturally tangling together as they head toward the cafe.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

She’s sure the outdoor terrace seats are deliberately built to seat a highly inefficient maximum of two people. She wonders if those who had a hand in this atrocious decision ever considered the fact that unintentional eye contact can be very stress-inducing.

 

It’s like the fourth or fifth time her eyes have flitted up and around Moonbyul’s face as she clutches her hot cup of coffee. Never directly at Moonbyul’s eyes, of course, or at least for not too long. Not long enough for the girl to catch her staring, she hopes.

 

Perhaps her pointed avoidance of Moonbyul’s glinting eyes leads the girl to assume that she is staring at something behind her. Moonbyul peeks over her shoulder, trying to follow Solar’s line of sight.

 

“Are you, uh, looking at them?” whispers Moonbyul, head tilting towards several pairs of couples not so subtle about their PDA. Pink dusts her cheeks as she speaks, and she hastily jerks her head back around to stare at Solar.

 

“S-Sure.” Of course she’s not going to say that instead, she had been goggling over the pale ivory of Moonbyul’s bare neck. “Just thinking about how they’re so free with their actions.”

 

“You mean in showing their affection?”

 

“That too.” She sighs, stirring her drink. “Do you think all couples like that?”

 

“W-Why -- ask -- me--” Moonbyul chokes, hand snatching at a napkin to cover while her face that’s red, presumably from the coughing. Solar wants to go around and give her a helpful smack on the back, but she thinks against it, instead pulling Moonbyul’s drink away from the danger of the table edge.

 

“I wish I could be like that. Being able to speak so freely. It’s hard for me, trying to put to words what I think.”

 

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” argues Moonbyul, head bobbing up and down. “I like how you are.”

 

Solar huffs, sending steam rolling over the top of her opened cup. “I’m quiet. I don’t go out and I stay at home whenever I can. I’m terrible with strangers.”

 

“The world would be terrible if everyone just blabbered out whatever they thought. And let’s be real; some people should be thinking more before they talk.”

 

“I-It’s different. You know those awkward pauses in conversation?” Solar laughs lowly, fiddling with her half-empty cup. “I’m the type of person who’s just stuck waiting for the other person to break the ice because my mind blanks out at the most inconvenient times.”

 

“Silence can be comfortable with the right people.”

 

A few blank seconds later, Solar finds herself tapping nervously on the recycled paper of her coffee cup, mind whirling for an appropriate answer. If there is an appropriate answer to be had for that kind of statement. She peeps up for a second to gauge Moonbyul’s reaction.

 

Moonbyul’s curved eyes dance in amusement over the rim of her raised cup, and she arches her eyebrows playfully when she notices Solar watching. A giggle escapes her lips as she gazes back up, this time not dragging her gaze away immediately.

 

Yeah, it’s pretty comfortable.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Where’s Moonbyul?” Solar drops her backpack to the side with a thud, rolling her shoulders back for a stretch. “And Hwasa?”

 

“They’re working on something,” answers Wheein.

 

“On what?” Solar frowns, hand unconsciously grabbing her phone. Moonbyul hadn’t mentioned anything about a project with Hwasa. And it wasn’t exactly like the two girls even shared classes.

 

“Just something. Why are you so worked up?” Wheein’s eyes gleam as she steals a glance at Solar’s bothered countenance.

 

“I’m not! I-I’m not,” mutters Solar. “I’m just curious.”

 

“Jealous?”

 

“I said curious!”

 

“Oops. My hearing must be getting bad,” snickers Wheein.

 

“Shouldn’t you be curious as well? Why Moonbyul is stealing away your best friend’s time?” Solar crosses her arms impatiently as Wheein scrolls through her phone leisurely.

 

“Nope. I’m fine with it. Ooh. Aww. How cute.” Wheein gushes over something, and Solar rises in her seat, trying to take a peek despite the terrible angle between her and Wheein’s phone screen.

 

“What? What’s cute?” she demands.

 

Wheein’s mouth snaps shut and she scoots backward, thumb hastily pressing home. “J-Just something. H-Haha.”

 

Solar can only roll her eyes exasperatedly at Wheein’s forced robotic laugh or shifty eyes. But she knows better than to press Wheein for details when the girl’s clearly denying any sort of attempt at interrogation. So, she just grunts, hand reaching into her backpack to pull out a crumpled sandwich for lunch.

 

She wonders if it’s indigestion or acid reflux that’s causing the rumbling feeling in her stomach to her chest when she recalls Moonbyul’s tiny profile picture on the chathead Wheein hastily swiped away.

 

Or maybe, it’s curiosity. Not jealousy. Nope.

 

She munches that first bite of her sandwich rather ferociously, ignoring the mild alarm in Wheein’s expression and feeling a sort of bitter satisfaction when the pickle and lettuce crumble with a snap in .

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Solar falls onto her bed with a satisfying thump, limbs sprawled comfortably on her soft mattress and blankets. Her backpack lays forgotten to the side and she contemplates her options of now. Should she take a nap or should she get to reading that chapter that’s been assigned to them for the weekend? If Wheein or Hwasa were with her, they’d probably be bashing her for either choice and instead drag her out to have fun.

 

But it is Friday. She grumbles to herself and tears her eyes from her backpack. She can always do that Sunday. Or Monday morning. Her head crashes back onto her pillow, eyes glazing over as the exhaustion of a long day takes over.

 

She’s teetering on the edge of slumber when the buzz of her phone snatches her awake. With eyes still shut, Solar groans as her hands roam wildly over her sheets, unsure of where the phone has fallen when she first tossed herself onto the bed. When her hands finally contact plastic and she brings the glaringly bright screen towards her face, Solar can’t help but force open a grudging eye to view the notification.

 

It’s just a simple message from Moonbyul. Open your curtains.

 

Solar lets her hand fall back onto the bed as she wills herself to find the energy to get out of her impossibly comfy bedsheets towards the window. Moonbyul must be wanting to come over again. At this point, she seriously considers just making a copy of her apartment key so Moonbyul doesn’t have to hop her balcony like a burglar every time she comes over unannounced.

 

But she enjoys the girl’s company. And she’s certainly got a few things to question the girl about. Like what she was doing with Hwasa. Like why Wheein was hiding her chat with the girl. Like a whole lot of other things. With a final huff, Solar rolls off her bed with all the creaky, aching grace of a grandmother and toddles toward her curtain, hand tugging on the string to raise her curtain.

 

Like she expects across the slight space between the two apartment complexes, Moonbyul’s head snaps up, hand waving excitedly behind her own window panes as she grins. Solar is about to unlatch her window to slide it upwards when frantic movement in the corner of her eye catches her attention.

 

Moonbyul shakes her hand back and forth urgently. No? Puzzled, Solar points toward her own window, mimicking the motion of opening it, and once again Moonbyul shakes her head. The girl raises her hand again, fingers spread, then forefinger pointing up to tell her to wait. Moonbyul then disappears for a brief moment as she bends below the frame of the window, returning with a writing pad and something else clutched in her hands.

 

She doesn’t know why Moonbyul’s playing all these elaborate schemes when she can literally hop a few steps and come over. It would also make all the questions whizzing around in Solar’s mind easier to press on the other girl, when Moonbyul’s not hiding behind a few sheets of sound-muffling glass.

 

Moonbyul stands in front of her window, shoulders popping up and down a few times to shake away the stress. Then, she raises the writing pad to her chest with a gulp, eyes somehow unsure as they stare through glass at Solar. She flips the cover of the pad to the back.

 

Hi.

 

Ok. Solar has half the mind to jump over the gap herself and shake some sense into Moonbyul, maybe check the other girl’s condition. To spend so much effort on a simple greeting--

 

How was your day?

 

Solar’s mouth drops open. Does Moonbyul expect her to write an answer in return or something? Her eyes flicker around her messy room, looking for something--wait, why is she bothering to do so when they can have the conversation right now in person. With speech, like normal people. Her gaping mouth is about to say so, maybe scream through glass, but another flip of the notepad stops her.

 

Today was a little nerve-wracking for me.

 

Preparing for something that I don’t know will succeed.

 

Ah, Moonbyul must be talking about the big project that she and Hwasa was working on. Now she feels bad, when clearly Moonbyul’s been losing sleep over it.

 

I missed seeing you today.

 

But you’re as gorgeous as ever.

 

Solar can’t help the crimson creeping up her face and her hands fly up to pat her cheeks, trying to stay calm. Really, Moonbyul’s too smooth with the compliments--

 

You’ve always been the brightest star I’ve ever laid eyes on.

 

You’re perfect.

 

No matter what others say.

 

No matter how much you worry.

 

Now, Solar’s fingers are beginning to tremble as she gets an inkling of what is happening. Which is frightening to her, because frankly, it’s never happened to her before and she has no goddamn idea how to respond. So, she kind of just stands frozen in front of the window longer, probably staring really dumbly as Moonbyul continues flipping page after page, nervous tic in her cheeks.

 

I love it all.

 

Every bit.

 

I’ll be at your side reminding you every time you’re down.

 

There’s a shy smile playing on Moonbyul’s lips as she reaches from her back and brings a colorful bouquet of flowers into view. A few seconds of struggling to balance both the flowers and her writing pad later, Moonbyul crinkles her nose in a small laugh of her own, clumsily dragging the next page back in a grand flourish before pressing the paper and the words against the window, hiding her reddening face in the process.

 

Because I love you.

 

Solar waits. Waits a few long moments until Moonbyul timidly slides her notepad down to peek at her. Waits until Moonbyul becomes daring enough again to look her straight in the eye and nod in meek agreement when Solar points to her left, toward her balcony. Moonbyul disappears from view and Solar slides her curtains back close, shuffling along her carpeted flooring towards her living room.

 

Minutes later, Solar sees Moonbyul hurtling swiftly over her balcony railing despite the flowers and pad tucked under her arms, and she can’t help the grin that slides across her face. She walks up, unlocks the door, but Moonbyul is still teetering on the edge, hesitant.

 

She giggles, “What’s wrong? It’s not like you haven’t been here before.”

 

“I-It’s different,” Moonbyul stammers, foot scuffing against the flooring outside her door.

 

“No.” Solar dances forward, heart unbelievably light. She tugs Moonbyul’s hand and the girl stumbles forward over the metal rails, falling with a sharp intake of breath into Solar’s arms. “I don’t think it’s that different.”

 

“I-I--” Moonbyul tries to pull back, but Solar, mustering some inconceivable bravery from nowhere, hurriedly snakes her arms up around Moonbyul’s lower back, holding her in place.

 

“Have something else to say?” says Solar, suddenly realizing that for some reason, she’s still quite unwilling to relinquish her hold, and her chin juggles up and down on Moonbyul’s shoulder as the girl breathes heavily within her arms. “Other than ‘I love you’.” She nestles her head closer into Moonbyul’s burning neck, arms tightening even more.

 

“I ran out of pages.” Moonbyul’s voice sounds, low and soft next to her ear, slightly airy and out of breath.

 

“Then it’s perfect that you’re here now. I’d rather not have to run to the store and buy myself a few markers and notepads myself.” Solar blows softly, causing a few strands of Moonbyul’s hair to fly around her neck. “It’s easier here to say that I-I t-think--” she stutters, buries her pink nose into Moonbyul’s clothed shoulder, and mumbles, “l-love you too.”

 

“Then will you be my girlfriend?” There’s eagerness coursing through Moonbyul’s tone as the girl gently leans her upper body back, still in Solar’s cradled arms but enough so that she can stare straight into Solar’s eyes. “I mean it. I’ve always meant what I’ve said to you,” she adds softly.

 

“If I say yes, will you answer any question I ask you?” Solar traces patterns into Moonbyul’s back, curiosity sending tremors through her light fingers. “N-Not that that’s the only reason I’m saying yes, though.”

 

“I’m an open book for you.”

 

Solar’s mouth opens, question that’s been lingering on her mind since Hwasa’s slip in conversation the other day on the tip of her tongue. She knows she’s succeeded in getting a grasp on herself, and much of it, she knows, is all thanks to Moonbyul.

 

“What was your New Year’s resolution?”

 

Moonbyul chuckles, music ringing in her ears, laughter thrumming through her ribcage and Solar leans close, feeling the thumping of their hearts align.

 

“It was getting you.”

 

---

*A/N This turned out really random because I ran out of ideas and just kind of needed to write something. No idea how to title it either, so if you have a better idea for it I'm all ears. Thanks for reading~

​Oh by the way, does anyone know how to get the story to appear on the tag feed? I'm pretty sure I tagged it properly, but it doesn't really show. Maybe I'm missing a ticked box or something. Whelp.