The smell alone made Taeyeon think back to the time when she walked through this door as a young girl. Her mother would be cooking in the kitchen and she would wait an hour before her dad came through the very same door. But this time, Taeyeon opened her eyes to an empty house. It was dim, nothing had been touched in years and dust has settled from no one cleaning it.

Taeyeon lifted herself out of the wheelchair with the help of the doctor. She wanted to walk through the house herself. Once she called this a home but now, this is an abandoned building. It was void of that warmth and love she once knew.

Going through the house, Taeyeon grasped onto furniture and the walls for balance. Every room held precious memories from sitting on the couch to watching dramas with her parents, the table where she had every meal to even the bathroom where her mother would bathe her when she was a child. No more could these memories be made.

“Careful.” Dr. Jung caught Taeyeon when her legs gave out, “Are you okay? I should really get the wheelchair.”

Taeyeon waved the doctor away, “No…no…I am good.”

“Tae…”

Taeyeon quickly got up, “Just help me up.”

Dr. Jung was hesitant at first but she grabbed the injured woman’s arm and supported her waist, “Don’t push yourself.”

Taeyeon smiled at the doctor’s thoughtfulness, “I want to go to my bedroom. This way.”

Dr. Jung guided Taeyeon to the bedroom trying to take in everything around her. She could see pictures of younger Taeyeon and her family sprawled around the house and imagined the house lively with a once happy family. When they entered the bedroom, Taeyeon took rest on the bed while Dr. Jung walked around the room. She was so curious to see the past Taeyeon…who may not be so different than the current one. There was clearly a vast collection of McDonald toys filling a shelf.

“I never imagined coming here again.”

The doctor turned to face Taeyeon, “Not even to visit?”

Taeyeon shook her head, “No…not once.”

Pulling out the desk chair, Dr. Jung took a seat facing Taeyeon, “Did something happen before going to America?”

Taeyeon clasped her hands tightly, “I was told not to ever come back again.”

“Really?” The doctor was shocked that someone would want to banish a soft soul like Taeyeons’.

“I was seventeen when I told my parents I wasn’t interested in boys. My mother was fine with it…or well she tried to understand some. It was my dad…he didn’t like it. Both my parents were involved in the church and he feared if someone he knew found out, that he wouldn’t be able to show his face anymore.”

“Taeyeon…I am sorry.” The doctor got up and joined Taeyeon on the bed placing her hand on the gloomy girl’s back.

“I went far away for college and during my last year, I did a study abroad in America. I didn’t come home after that. I moved to America thinking my family would be better without me…without my dirty little secret.”

“Taeyeon there is nothing wrong with…there is nothing wrong with who you choose to love.”

Taeyeon laughed, “I thought so for a long time but things got better when I learned to accept myself and made friends who accepted me for me.”

“That is great.”

“It was great for a while…I met Krystal and you know things were great for a while. I thought I could live that kind of life and be content but then things change and everything got more complicated. Krystal forced me to meet my parents again. I don’t know what she said to my parents to make them come to the airport and pick me up, but they were the last people I expected to see on my return to Korea. I thought maybe they finally accepted me, but…but I never really found out. They died before….well I didn’t get a chance.” Taeyeon wiped away the tears from her eyes, “This house…I only have good memories before high school.”

Dr. Jung could see the pain in Taeyeon’s eyes but there were no words of comfort she could give her. She never had to face the struggle of unaccepting parents. She remembered when Krystal came out to her parents about her preferences and they acted as if they knew all along. Nothing changed in the house other than Krystal bringing home women.

Taeyeon wiped away the last of her tears, “I want to sell the house.”

“W-what?”

Taeyeon struggled to get up from the bed, “This was never my home. Nothing here was mine. Memories included.”

The doctor was shocked, but at the same time she understood. Taeyeon didn’t see her true self in this house.