[CONTENTID1]chapter one - [/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2] “Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop.” [/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3]The body was heavier than we expected, weighing a total of approximately 160 pounds from my perspective. As we continued along the outskirts of the city, our leader’s hand came out of the sack that we were carrying him in. Our leader, who was deemed the strongest and bravest of us all, had finally fallen. At the time, we didn’t know what to do but to gather his lifeless body and dump it into the river where all the other bodies were being piled. The river was contaminated long before we started dumping bodies into it so it wasn’t really a loss to us. Losing our leader, however, was.

I stared at his cold and scratched up hand before turning my head away rapidly. Hoseok caught sight of my disgruntled face and shot me a look of annoyance.

We stopped right next to the river before placing the body down gently. Changkyun was the one who carried the shovel – perhaps, the only one who had the strength and energy to do anything. The shovel hit the gravel roughly, and he began digging thoroughly with no emotion. The rest of us just stood there, staring at the body and not bothering to ask Changkyun if he needed assistance.

Silence surrounded us for almost thirty minutes, not a single one of us could bear to even lift a finger nor look at anyone until finally, there was a muffled sob. I glanced up and saw that it was Changkyun who had started crying whilst digging. I opened my mouth and wanted to cry as well, but no sound was coming from my mouth. My mouth was entirely dry; I suppose not eating every day was finally taking a toll of my entire presence.

And then it was Minhyuk who joined Changkyun, followed by Kihyun. It turned into a whole damn sobbing fest until Hoseok gritted through his teeth, “Shut up.”

He forcefully took the shovel away from Changkyun’s hands before shoving him away from the five-foot hole he had managed to dig up. The three who were sobbing moved further away from Hoseok and comforted themselves, unable to grasp the reality that had bestowed upon them.

I shakenly went up to Hoseok and wanted desperately to put some sense into him - to tell him that he was being too harsh towards the others but I was too frightened. I felt like a coward.

“It was always me.” He said silently, as though he only wanted me to hear him. “I was always the one having to take of you. He dies, and you all shed tears from him. Why?”

“Because he was the one who kept us alive.”

“No. What he did was .” Hoseok turned to him, and I could