Chapter 23.

I once knew your father well. He fought tears as he spoke of your mother's health. 
I guess a part of him just couldn’t return. Forgiveness is a lesson he cursed you to learn.

It was almost impossible to hold Taeyong away from Jaehyun as the other kept crying out that he was sorry and Yuta even needed help from Hansol that came to his rescue. Jaehyun collapsed on the ground throwing up all the alcohol he had been drinking and Doyoung immediately fled the other.

  “I can’t.” He said face turning green and Ten helped Jaehyun up on his feet. Jaehyun’s father hurried out of his car. He helped Ten get Jaehyun into the car a bucket put in his lap and Ten reached out of the car when Johnny stood by the door to bid his goodbye and the two shared a kiss of reassurance. It went unnoticed, Taeyong was making a fuzz behind them as a taxi drove up to the house and Doyoung was throwing up in a bed of roses.

Ten’s fingers caressed Johnny’s face, tugging a strand of hair behind his ear. “He’ll be okay.” He promised and Johnny nodded, one hand coming up to cup Ten’s face.

  “Will you?” He asked, looking at Ten with eyes that knew the other wasn’t.

Ten smiled though tears fell from his eyes. “Of course.” He said and then secured his seatbelt. “See you, Johnny.”

  “See you, baby.” Johnny closed the door to the car and stepped back when it drove away. Then Johnny turned around to send Yuta and Taeyong off too.

Ten and Jaehyun’s father struggled to get Jaehyun’s long form into the apartment and to his bed. Jaehyun was too tired and was finally breathing normally. The two of them dropped Jaehyun on the bed, Ten throwing the comforter aside and Jaehyun’s father tugging off Jaehyun’s jeans.

  “You children keep on drinking. You know it’s illegal, right?”

Ten chuckled. “Didn’t you drink when you were our age, father?” He said with a mischevious smile and Jaehyun’s father chuckled.

  “I did.” He said with a smile and they placed a bucket beside Jaehyun’s bed, keeping the door into his room open and going into the kitchen.

  “What happened?” Jaehyun’s father asked Ten as the other was drinking water to sober himself up.

  “Jaehyun’s in love.” Ten said and shared a look with Jaehyun’s father. The man sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

  “Is it the kid who was dragged towards the taxi?” He questioned and Ten nodded.

  “His name is Taeyong, he’s from the other basketball team.”

  “Ah I’ve seen him before.” Jaehyun’s father rubbed his chin, he had been to the basketball game where the two teams ended the game with a tie. “So my boy is not into girls.” He then said with a soft smile. “Well now I don’t have to help her with baby stuff, Jaehyun’s mother always spoke highly about that.” He laughed, his voice deep and velvety just like Jaehyun’s, but it was a little rough because of age.

Ten was frowning as he spoke. “He keeps on rejecting Taeyong even though he likes him a lot.” Ten said and looked down into his cup of water. “Like he rejected me.”

Jaehyun’s father sighed. “Do you know the reason why?” He asked and Ten shook his head.

  “I’ve thought about it many times, but I’m not too sure. He’s scared of loving someone.”

Jaehyun’s father ran a hand through his graying hair. “He and his mother were very close. Jaehyun is quite the romantic type, he loved hearing his mother talk about how they would set up the marriage and how she would help him with everything when that time came. She always spoke about how she couldn’t wait until he brought someone home with him. She never limited it to being only a girl, she was very accepting.” Jaehyun’s father and Ten both glanced at Jaehyun’s mother’s portrait. “We had Jaehyun checked for cancer too when his mother was diagnosed. It’s the kind of cancer that goes through the family, but Jaehyun was okay.” His father rubbed his eyes that had turned red. “I think he’s afraid that he’ll get sick one day and leave the one he loves.” He spoke but his voice grew thick and he almost couldn’t say the last words of his sentence. Ten sobbed and put down the glass, sinking to the floor.

  “Oh, Jaehyun.” He cried. Jaehyun’s father sniffled and stood up to pull Ten up and embrace him.

  “You’re like a second son to me, Ten. Don’t worry too much about Jaehyun. I will talk to him.”

Ten nodded and wiped his eyes and nose with the back of his hand. “Should I go home?”

  “No.” Jaehyun’s father shook his head with a soft smile. “Sleep beside Jaehyun. He needs you.”

Ten nodded and went out of the kitchen after finishing drinking the water and he brought another glass with him for Jaehyun.

The boy was sleeping soundly when Ten entered, and Ten got to the foot of the bed and crawled on it, sleeping between the wall and Jaehyun. He embraced the other and felt Jaehyun immediately make space for Ten to sleep in Jaehyun’s arms. Ten silently cried into Jaehyun’s chest.

Jaehyun woke up to the smell of bacon and the sensation of being held tightly. He was for a moment pulled back to an old memory, but he wasn’t having a headache that time and his stomach wasn’t sore in that way that it had been misused. Ten snuggled closer and released a small cute yawn and Jaehyun ruffled the smaller’s hair before sitting up, forcing Ten to either follow him or roll off of him and Ten rolled away in annoyance. Jaehyun grabbed the glass of water and the painkillers and downed it. He stared at the poster of Spiderman on the opposite wall while thinking back to remember what happened at the party. He only remembered to the point of him and Taeyong being in the garden and then it all swam into a blur. Jaehyun was afraid, because he was sure it was because he had done that thing again.

Ten finally rolled over and pushed himself up, sleepily rubbing his eyes. “How are you feeling?”

  “Amazing.” Jaehyun lied and Ten narrowed his eyes on him. Jaehyun sighed. “It happened again, didn’t it?”

Ten reached out and brushed Jaehyun’s hair away. “You need a haircut.”

  “Ten…” Jaehyun whined and the smaller nodded.

  “Yeah.” He said almost in a whisper.

Jaehyun bit down on his lip, crossing his arms over his chest. “What about Taeyong?”

Ten looked at him. “Talk with your father first.”

  “What about Taeyong?”

  “Devastated.” Ten gave in. “Now get up and talk with your father!” Ten said and pushed Jaehyun out of the bed.

Jaehyun didn’t leave his bed for long the whole day. He hadn’t touched his phone which probably was full of messages from Taeyong. How could he face him? He felt too guilty.

  “Jaehyun.” His father called and entered the room, carrying a tray of newly cut fruit and Jaehyun smiled up at his father, making space for him on the bed. His father sat in silence while Jaehyun plopped a piece of apple into his mouth. His father’s hand landed on Jaehyun’s knee. “You know what your mother’s last words to me were?” He asked and Jaehyun looked at him. “I didn’t keep my promises to Jaehyun. You must keep them for me.”

Jaehyun felt as if someone tugged on his heart. “Dad…” He said, staring at his father who was looking down. Jaehyun swallowed the fruit, staring down at the plate. He took the words in, repeating them again and again, trying to make sense of them. He squeezed his eyes shut. “Dad…” He cried and embraced his father around his neck. “She didn’t say that.”

  “She did.” His father said and embraced Jaehyun tightly. “I can’t keep them if you don’t let yourself love someone.”

  “I’m scared…”

  “Love is scary, my son. But there’s so many good things coming from it, you need to have courage and embrace it. It may seem too big, but it’s the best thing in the world.”

Jaehyun leaned away, holding onto his father’s arm. “What if I get sick, what if I leave Taeyong like mother left you?”

Jaehyun’s father shook his head. “She never left me.” He said. “She’s in my heart up to this day and one day I’ll be able to love again when I find someone as special as your mother.”

  “Can you do that? Love again?” Jaehyun asked. “After you’ve accepted your love and dived into it can you love again?”

  “Only if you let yourself do so.” Jaehyun’s father said. “Risk a little, Jaehyun. Bring Taeyong home to me, let him in.”

Jaehyun rested his head on his father’s shoulder, wishing for his mother to be there too. If she had been there, would Jaehyun and Taeyong sit together then? Would Taeyong sit on the bed too, smiling at him, loving him?

  “You really like him don’t you?” His father asked softly.

  “Yes.” Jaehyun admitted.

  “Then do this for your mother. Do this for me. All I ever want is to see you happy, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun looked at his father. “I want to see you happy too.”

  “I am.” His father said. “I keep my promises to your mom, I eat apples every day like we did together. I go to work, earn money so that you can go to college when that day comes.” He smiled and Jaehyun grabbed some of the fruit.

  “May I see it?” Jaehyun’s father asked and Jaehyun raised his brows at him while munching on a piece of apple.

  “See what?” Jaehyun mumbled.

  “See you let go.” Jaehyun’s father asked and Jaehyun blinked. How had he known that Jaehyun hadn’t let go yet?

Jaehyun tried, he tried to embrace the love he felt for Taeyong but it was as if trying to push a door open that was too heavy. Jaehyun was leaning his whole body against it, he could see his heart behind it, protected from any harm. Jaehyun placed himself between the door and the wall, hoping to get it open when he had more strength.

  “It’s hard.” Jaehyun said after a moment and Jaehyun’s father nodded.

  “Just don’t fight the poor guy anymore. You and Ten could’ve been a nice couple too.”

 Jaehyun stared at his father. “No, Ten has Johnny now.”

  “Oh.” His father gasped. “Really? Ten has someone? Without telling me?”

Jaehyun laughed. “He doesn’t have to tell you!” He said and slapped his father’s arm. His father’s eyes widened.

  “Oh yes he has! I’ll call him right now.” He said and stood. Jaehyun pouted.

  “I’m pretty sure he’s with Johnny.”

  “Then I can say hi!” His father called from the living room and Jaehyun laughed. He felt it, the door wasn’t that heavy now. Maybe he could do it?
 

Jaehyun decided to at least turn on his phone and see if Taeyong had texted him. He was doing some homework when his phone started vibrating. The first text he noticed was not from Taeyong but Ten.

From: My Sunshine

YOUR FATHER CALLED ME YOU LITTLE SNITCH!

Jaehyun laughed evilly to himself.

To: My Sunshine

He was very disappointed in his son aka. You.
Also who was it that snitched on me????

From: My Sunshine

Definitely not me, I’m innocent ^^;

To: My Sunshine

You know I’m really tired of the nickname you gave yourself…
I think I should change it to: My Snitching Best Friend??

From: My Sunshine

Hey, you’re called My Moonshine. Johnny really doesn’t like it.

To: My Sunshine

May he dislike it until he dies. If you change it call me Spiderman instead.

From: My Sunshine:

HEY LET’S BE BUCKY AND STEVE! YOU’RE BUCKY!

Jaehyun went out of the conversation and noticed Taeyong’s messages.

From: Handsome Idiot

Hey Jaehyun, I’m so so so sorry for what happened yesterday. Please call me when you wake up. It’s okay if you don’t want to, I don’t deserve it. I’m just… I really need to hear your voice, please, Jaehyun you mean a lot to me. I would never want to hurt you in that way. I once again broke our promise. How can I ever make up for it? I’ll do anything for you Jaehyun…  

From: Handsome Idiot

I’ll buy you food for a week, anything to make you happy. Should I bring gimbab with me as your lunch this Monday?

From: Handsome Idiot

Jaehyun please…

Jaehyun couldn’t help but chuckle, but he felt touched on the same time. Taeyong didn’t have to apologize he really shouldn’t. Still Jaehyun couldn’t stop himself from playing with the other.

To: Handsome Idiot

Gimbab sounds great.

Jaehyun’s phone suddenly buzzed about minutes later and Taeyong’s contact name appeared. Jaehyun groaned. “Are you one of those people, Taeyong? The ones who call when you write them, oh my god- Hi…” Jaehyun had accidently hit the green phone button and immediately acted as if he hadn’t just raged.

  “What kind do you want?” Taeyong’s voice sounded even deeper over the phone. Jaehyun felt a smile sneak onto his face and he rubbed his cheek, humming as if thinking hard.

  “Anything with meat is great.” Jaehyun said, looking down at the pattern of his comforter.

Taeyong hummed in reply. Silence followed a bit, there was some noise in the background. Someone was talking and Jaehyun heard Yuta’s voice.

  “Hey just get on with it, has he hung up on you?”

Taeyong put the phone down, probably to his chest to block out Yuta’s voice. He heard Taeyong say something, but he couldn’t really hear it. Then he took the phone up to his mouth again. “I’m sorry for trying to kiss you.”

Jaehyun laughed. “You’ve kissed me before; shouldn’t you be sorry about that too?”

Taeyong released a small ‘oh’. “I’m sorry.” He then said and Jaehyun laid down on the bed.

  “Apology accepted.” He said while smiling and Taeyong gasped.

  “I didn’t even have to kneel?!”

Jaehyun tried to stop himself from laughing but couldn’t. “Don’t worry. I think I’m okay now.” Jaehyun said after some time and Taeyong hummed in a sound of understanding.

  “You’re not done with me?”

Jaehyun chuckled. “How could I?”

  “I’m still allowed to like you?”

Jaehyun tried not to sound too flustered. “O-of course.”

Taeyong was chuckling and Jaehyun enjoyed the sound of his voice. “You’re really okay?”

  “We all have our traumas.”

  “I’m the cause of it?”

Jaehyun shook his head but then realized Taeyong was not there to see it. “No. It’s my own fault.”

  “...How about chicken?”

Jaehyun didn’t know how many times he would laugh through this conversation. “Chicken would be nice.”

A/N:

♫ Sleeping At Last - Uneven Odds 

200+ subs ;A; Thank you so much guys <3

Let's celebrate it with this clarifying chapter. A lot of you guys guessed it was something of a childhood trauma and well, we could say that.^^ After this chapter do you understand Jaehyun now? Do tell! I'm curious! ^^

So I somtimes write ahead because I got the scene in my head and I need to write it down. So I'm currently trying to get the chapters to meet. I'm not too far from it, so then I'm way ahead again haha. 

Also I've written a Johnten/Jaeten/Taewin fic ( with a plot) called Caught. You can check it out, but it's not for sensitive souls for a reason.

Thank you for all the love! Your comments always inspire me <33

Love,
Emma. <3