author note ; 

hi everyone , miss u XD long time passed since i last updated my stories , i have been editing this chapter for almost 3 years , and i decided to update today because if i didn’t i’ll probably keep on editing it for a couple of years more ~_~ 

this story has always been in the back of my mind , i always thought about it and i do love the yongseo here so i hope i’ll edit the other drafts and update regularly , it’s not a medical story but i need their workplace to set the mood and encounters so i hope u r not bored by these chapters 

about jonghyun role in the story , for now he will still be here since i choose a suitable character for his personality but i will accept your opinions if u want to replace him 

Monday 

~~~~ 8:15 a.m ~~ 

a beautiful morning , despite the ten minutes walk to the nearest bus stop from Dr. jung’s villa , everything else was gorgeously breathing out spring pastel colors .. 

the early morning refreshing breeze caressing my cheeks and slightly mingling with my pink coat lifted my spirits up

it was the tiny happiness which majority of employees wouldn’t notice on their daily routine ; peacefully sleeping the night , and waking up in the morning ..

the short break from your responsibilities until the next sun rise was a pure bliss itself 

espically if your work place was the epitome of depression and responsibilities ..

when i arrived the hospital , i took a deep breath preparing my mentality for whatever coming at me for today 

the hospital lobby was an absolute contrast to the spring breeze outside , the strong aroma of disinfectants marked the place ..

packed -as usual- with people shuffling and medical staff dashing obnoxiously heading in different directions , the antagonist of the worry-free people in the streets enjoying their lives i saw this morning 

i took the narrow side walk toward the staff only elevators and upon my arrival to the department floor ,

there were less and less staff around . 

at this time and day from the week , there were no ward rounds , no lectures and no students lurking around , everyone is busy either performing or watching the surgeries going on the moment 

i opened the door for the residents room , expecting no one to be there

however , nana was there 

“ morning ‘ “ 

her phone in one hand occupying her attention while she ate veggie salad using a fork in the other hand , her gaze shifted at me briefly as i came in “ morning’ “ 

i placed my backpack on the lower bed , getting my clean navy scrubs out  

“ anything happened while i was away ? “ i had to ask , regardless of my six hours leave , things here turns upside down in a matter of seconds 

“ peaceful for us , how about your night off ? “

a little guilty , i answered her with a dull tone obscuring the fluffiness as possible “ i didn’t do much , a warm bath and as for dinner ; steak and wine “ 

she placed her fork on the plastic plate as a gesture of being full , and her mockery comment came “ hmmm , how fancy ? “ 

“ not really “  i replied as i moved smoothly again, taking off my pink wool coat and placing it with care in the metal lockers and acting as if i didn’t really mess up with saying much info a moment ago 

she stood up from her seat , throwing the plate in the trash 

“ anyway seohyun  , i’m scheduled for Prof. Park operation this morning , you’ll have to manage the wards by yourself “ 

i grimaced hearing her sudden suggestion , managing the wards for the morning was quiet a load of work . moreover alone 

while it’s known that minho is assisting Dr.jung this morning , nana was never scheduled today for any operations to begin with .

 as if she could hear my mental protest , she answered “ i went and asked professor park directly for the opportunity , i’m not going to waste my time waiting for Dr.jung or Dr. Lee kindness “ 

as a matter of fact ; residency was your only and one chance to get on some surgeon’s favor against the odds , for you to end up as a real surgeon who performs real operations rather than being a GP with a surgery license ..

and although no one but her could pull off such tricks , in the end her words were sensible and her path was legal 

i sighed and sank into one of the seats “ i think that’s one way to do things around here “ 

she slid the elastic black hairband from her wrist to put her long hair into a pony tail 

“ that’s the only way to do things around here , i’ll go now to get ready “ 

i wasn’t much better than her , i used connections and shady contracts to get here .. if it wasn’t for that maybe i would never be here 

   ~    ~   ~    ~    ~

“ good morning “ i started my day by the nurse station , Mrs. kim the head of nurses acknowledged my presence with a timid glance 

“ he’s here for the morning rounds “ Mrs.kim said pointing at the new face  

the tall slim young man leaning on the marble counter , in black scrubs and a brand new white coat stared at me with his round piercing eyes 

“ chaneyol , the surgery intern “ maintaining his relaxed posture he murmured a few words which i realized later on it was his self introduction

 “ i’m seo juhyun , a first year resident “ i smiled at him 

his lack of reaction implied his lack of respect to my person. 

manners didn’t matter as long as he will be of help to me , at least i won’t handle the wards alone 

i asked the nurse “ please , prepare the wound dressing tray for me “ 

then i explained to the intern 

“ i’ll be the one doing the rounds for this morning , examining the patients , dressing the wounds , requesting the follow up investigations and more , you can follow me and watch the process , i’ll answer your questions too .

we have 40 patients in total ... “ 

“ not interested “ the tall man cut me off , he fished his phone from his coat pocket and busied himself as he walked away

or i might do everything by myself anyway 

“ good morning , everyone “ i greeted the males ward with a smile 

and i could swear i heard at least a a hundred Dr.Seo echoing that second , despite the male ward having 10 beds in total 

i assured them with a smile “ yes , i’ll answer every single one of you “ 

most of the demands were a daily morning routine , aside from dressing their surgical wounds , reviewing their medications and checking their vitals 

some elders asked me to phone call their relatives for how they couldn’t deal with the new century handphones , others complained about the breakfast and the chefs we hire in the hospital kitchen , some asked me to help them with their games , and some were mischievous enough to call out for me for nothing other than having a company 

questions , tasks and wishes were piling up and i answered them one at a time

“ Dr.Seo , i want to change wards “ said one of the patients his voice whispering , in return i went closer to him and asked “ why , ajussi ? “ 

he covered the whisper with his wrinkled aged hand “ i’m not comfortable sharing the ward with a criminal , moreover non cuffed one “ 

i might have questioned whom was he talking about if he didn’t glance over dongwook’s bed 

“ ajussi , there might be a misunderstanding going on here and the patient next bed isn’t a criminal until proved , you don’t have to worry about him “ 

the ajussi clenched his jaws in dissatisfaction and continued with a heard voice this time “ i couldn’t get a wink of sleep last night because of this creep “ 

i glanced dongwook and he was indeed sitting in bed taking uncomfortable posture , if he sat up the whole night awake it could be disturbing to his neighboring patients .. more importantly it could be a critical sign 

“ i will take care of this , but please be respectful to him as long as he is toward you “ 

dongwook stood out being youngest amidst the elderly , helpless among the endless nagging , and while everyone clang onto life with teeth and nails ; he was ready to let go

because he was an addict who didn’t value his own life , his name came lowest on the waiting list , an absurd waiting list which graded human quality as if it was list of goods in the store 

“ i heard you didn’t get to sleep last night , dongwook - ssi were you in pain ? “ 

he replied with a calm hoarse voice “ i’m always in pain “ 

i pulled my black stethoscope hung around my neck and proceeded to hear his lungs fields through his back 

and he was drowning , literally . 

~     ~      ~      ~      ~      ~      ~    

4 hours later 

i checked my watch as i dashed the hospital hallway to be stopped briefly by the automatic  glass door to the operation theaters , i slid my ID in the specific partition and unlocked the door which was labelled as ~staff only ~ .. 

few rushed steps more and after checking on a few busy theaters , i finally arrived the observation room which had full view of the operation theater Dr.jung performed his operation in 

Dr.minhyuk at the head of operation table was crossing arms and watching the operation attentively , three nurses in total scattered around the table while Dr.jung and minho facing each other with the patient lying in between ..

the gather worked on the beatless red organ soaked in a bloody field 

“ now , minhyuk “ Dr. jung signaled and Dr.minhyuk worked on the cardio-pulmonary machine settings 

cardiothoracic surgeons were some sort of control maniac , so arrogant that they would kill a beating heart to get an easier lifeless field to work on

, they do it with no hesitation or fear ~ 

and greedy enough to call for the lifeless heart to beat again after their offending stitches , like calling for a demon which could never be around in the moment , believing in a fairytale which could never be a reality , believing in themselves and their skills which is the only bet to prove it ; was that heart and how it will respond 

every single time , a lifeless heart starts beating again after their offending stitches ; opens a new whole level in their achievements log and risky dictionary , enhances their egoism 

that’s what define a real cardiac surgeon ..

" here you go " 

the heart started beating vigorously as if revolting for being forced to stop earlier , and everyone subtly breathed in relief .

" splendid , Dr.jung " 

" finish off " was Dr.jung final words to minho before he took a step back to watch from the side  

minho steadily performed the last steps , he was a confident skillful fellow with neat sutures . 

i had to admit how being a surgeon was cut for him , explains much why he’s gaining Dr.jung favoritism 

i , too .. wanted to be a real cardiac surgeon rather than watching from the sideway

i .. perhaps .. can do it too 

taking a full glance at both my palms fully stretched before my eyes , overstretched that their flaws began to overtake the scene . my confidence swayed just a little bit  

~     ~       ~      ~      ~ 

after the surgery officially ended , i waited by the lockers in the changing room 

minho arrived at the lockers first 

“ you’re here for autographs i bet ? “ minho had his smug smirk on display as he opened the metal locker 

i snickered “ yeah i did watch and i barely noticed your presence , what was your job description there again ? “ 

“ as an assistant , at least i was on the inside of the theater “ he teased and wore his white coat 

he’s right , i was the only junior who hadn’t got the chance to assist in a surgery yet

“ how do you think i could get Dr.jung’s attention ? ” 

he arched his brows at me “ his attention ? “

“ i mean for him to recruit me “ i explained 

“ i think the sole problem is that you stand out too much “ he giggled internally , “avoiding him at this point is wisdom “ 

“ yah . just wait and see ! we’re best buddies now “ i scoffed , he wouldn’t know about the development in the relationship between me and Dr.jung .. we’re so close now that we shared a meal together 

“ and about dongwook .. “ minho started 

i took a deep breath “ i know , i checked on him this morning , his pulmonary edema worsened after all due to the physical stress that night , i adjusted his medications and hopefully he gets better soon “ 

“ are you going to inform him soon ? “ minho warned subtly , and by him he meant no one but him 

“ not today “ i scoffed , “ by the time he makes his rounds tomorrow , dongwook should be better “ 

he was recovering slowly , very slowly from the last physical stress he exerted when he tried to runaway that day , it took one additional night for his lungs to block up with edema and now it’s lingering there within him .   

who knows how Dr.jung might react if he knew about this kind of development , what decision he would take regarding dongwook and how he might stress the patient further . 

after all , no surgeon would take responsibility for a troublesome patient , especially if we are talking about arrogant Dr.jung

fortunately , there were no ward rounds for today and if all went as planned dongwook might regain dry fields by tomorrow ..

minho sighed “ i don’t know about this “ 

“ i’ve got a plan , don’t worry “ 

“ but if he finds out , and you lose his trust .. “ 

i shivered at the possibility “ anyia , i told you we’re best buddies now “  

“ i doubt “ minho dropped the subject when he noticed Dr. jung was joining us soon 

“ thanks for you hard work , Dr.jung “ i thanked him with a deep bow 

Dr.jung came by to reclaim his watch and phone next 

and for the momentary eye contact i had with him , i realized there was almost no way to approach him , not again anyway 

Dr.jung had his words directed toward minho completely ignoring my air " are you changing skins . why it’s taking you this long to return back to your patient’s side "

" yes , Dr.jung " minho excused himself giving me a warning look worth two words - tell him - 

Dr.jung was officially back to his normal self , distant arrogant and typical  

and i couldn't sort out ; was it that he's ignoring me or have i gotten used to the generous attention i received when i stayed home with him until this morning 

when he walked out , i followed him 

“ does the hospital pay you to tail me ? or do you have all the time in the world to waste “ he remarked 

i answered in a military tone “ i’m eager to learn from you as much as possible , Doc “

“ learn what ? how to walk ! “ 

i remained calm , my face glowing with a peaceful smile .. his sarcasm was probably a top notch class that we peasant would never understand 

i had to follow him to make sure he wouldn’t sway toward the wards for any reason today 

out of no where , someone jumped and blocked our way with a 90° deep bow he introduced himself “ park chaneyol , your intern in service .. i heard a lot about you Dr.jung , i deeply respect you “  

not half respectful toward me , i felt the humiliation sting my heart 

the unamused Dr.jung responded ” the new intern ? then bring my americano to the office " 

" yes , Dr.jung " chaneyol voiced in despair 

“ he likes chewing his ice “ i patted chaneyol’s shoulder with the serious note , i made sure my teasing smirk was burned into the giant’s eyes 

we walked a couple more steps , until we arrived at the intersection of two corridors , the first corridor directly goes to his office while the second had a pass through the wards before reaching his office door 

i chatted as i lead the way to the first corridor “ i hope you had your breakfast , caffeine poured on your bare stoma.. “

Dr.jung spoke “ now , you’re leading the way rather than following me ? “  

i halted my steps at his words realizing what kind of fool i am , i spin around with my head low in visible agony “ anyio .. “ 

“ you know , you look like a guilty puppy who needs discipline “    

before i could process the shock of his words , he walked the second corridor and i hurried to follow him 

his steps echoing on the hard floor as he advanced through , his eyes lingered briefly through the ward whenever he passed by one as if looking for something scandalous , first the females ward then another females ward , a critical care unit .. 

as i synchronized my steps to his , i knew this will not end at a good note 

he stopped walking when obviously something caught his attention in the first males ward , something so crucial that he noticed through the ward narrow entrance   

Dr.jung walked into the ward and was greeted by the nurse, i followed him quietly as headed directly toward dongwook 

" good morning , dongwook-ssi " he greeted the patient formally 

" is there anything i need to know about his condition , a development perhaps ? “ Dr.jung had his undivided attention on me , i could feel his stare testing , judging and resenting me 

i diverted the attention by picking the notebook from my pocket while my other hand adjusted the hair strand which recently fell on my face 

did he know about dongwook trial to run away and acted oblivious ? or is it my sense of guilt that gave me away ..

“ Seo ?! “ he snapped me back from my brain storming race  

i cautiously rose my gaze to him from my notebook " no further development .. in his condition " 

" hmmm " he straightened his lips and reached for the patient file , he scanned it with his eyes in one second before he tossed it vigorously into my hands  “ it says otherwise here , take a look “

i didn’t need to take a look , since i was the one who adjusted his medications and requested more investigations this morning , Dr.jung absolutely noticed my signature at the bottom of the sheet too .

his show was just for the humiliation purpose 

" dongwook-ssi , your pulmonary edema worsened overnight , so refrain from your little adventures for the time being " he ordered dryly , “ we’re trying to help you here but without your cooperation it’ll be hard “ 

“ i don’t want to stay here “ the patient complained weakly 

“ then leave . that’s how simple things work here “ 

“ Dr.jung ! “ i snapped 

however he continued with the same resentful tone  “ the government is paying thousands of dollars for your stay here , if you’re trying to die anyway there’s always someone else whom in need for this opportunity , and there’s always somewhere else to die without causing others trouble “ 

did he just look down on a social governmental paid patient ! 

without another word , Dr. jung walked out of the ward allowing the light of hope and the peace to crawl back into the ward 

“ dongwook-ssi , please don’t mind Dr.jung , he only cares about your health and hate when things doesn’t go his way .. “ 

my words fell on deaf ears as dongwook already had the depression clouding his eyes , as expected from Dr.jung’s poisonous effect 

why species like him should exist to darken the world moreover as a doctor 

i clenched my hands and hurried to catch up with Dr.jung who walked his confident steps to his office door , as if he didn’t hurt a fly   

i followed him inside the office determined “ Dr.jung “

he turned over , eyes solely on me unwavering and calmly waiting for me to confess 

he surely knew every word i was going to say nex