"My name is Yamada Ryosuke, I'm 21 years old. To tell you the truth, I'm quiet a ert."

-Yamada Ryosuke's self introduction in one of his 2014 Shabekuri appearance for Kindaichi Neo promotion-

"I'm like a dried fish. Normally, I would be just in my underwear, and I would loiter around in my room just like that."

-Yamada Ryosuke on his interview on Oshareism in 2014-

"Ryosuke has this weird habit of stripping off his shirt in the dressing room and lies on top of the sofa as if he was showing off his abs and well-build muscle."

-Yaotome Hikaru in an episode of School Kakumei in 2014-

'THE PERKS OF BEING A '

Written by: ichigoainosuke, aizawanikka, sayumi_yuma

Guests: Umika, Chinen, Yuto, Kamiki, Shuhei, Jingi, Shougo, and Hayato

This chapter was inspired by the fact that Ryosuke self-claimed himself to be a , and Hikaru's testimony in an episode of School Kakumei that said Ryosuke had this weird habit of suddenly stripping off his shirt in front of the other members just to show off his abs xD We imagined how Ryosuke and Mirai's relationship would be like if they were in eachother's apartment and being entirely themselves x""D

One random noon in Mirai's apartment during the middle of summer...

Ryosuke: GOSH it's so hot in here... (suddenly strips open the buttons of his shirt)

Mirai: (eyes widen and immediately throws mendhoan, her pillow, and her bed at Ryosuke) WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING??!

Ryosuke lies hard on the floor backward, arms and legs spreading wide in the air, half-

Ryosuke: Maaan.... it's still so frickin' hot (prepares himself to open the other things still attached to his body)

Mirai: AAAAAAARRRGGGGHHH STOOOP IT, YOU !!!

Ryosuke: Hey, you have no idea, these jeans are kinda hot ya know!

Mirai: GET OUT OF MY ROOM RIGHT THIS SECOND, YOU ! (pushes Ryosuke towards the window of her room)

Ryosuke: Oh come on! I'm just opening my shirt, I'm not planning to do anything anyway -_-

Mirai: I SAID JUMP! (pushes Ryosuke's head out of the window)

Ryosuke: (looks out the window) EEHH??! ARE YOU CRAZY??! THIS IS THE FOURTH FLOOR, ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!

Mirai: THEN HURRY UP AND PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON! (internally bleeds upon seeing Ryosuke's irresistable abs)

Ryosuke: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT! JUST DON'T PUSH ME! GEEZ!

Mirai: B-bbut.... (peeks a glance at Ryosuke) HEY.... why didn't you zip that?! (immediately closes her eyes in embarassment after witnessing what she wasn't suppose to witness)

Ryosuke: (looks down) Woopsies, I forgot to zip my trousers. Tehe~ (grins sheepishly)

Mirai: (peeks from the little slit in between her fingers) ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Strawberry-patterned boxers?? buahahahahahaha~ (laughs her off)

Ryosuke: Hey! Don't insult it! You have no idea how hard it was for me to get this perfect strawberry pattern. It's a limited edition!

Mirai: (laughs more)

Ryosuke: Oi, oi, oi, wait a minute, who's the now?! Why are you checking out my underwear?!!

Mirai: Hey! It's not my fault! I can see it clearly from here without even trying! You're the one who carelessly didn't zip your pants! (looks away)

Ryosuke: You're secretly enjoying this, aren't ya? (smirks playfully)

Mirai: W-what?! GET OUT!

Ryosuke: GET OUT?! Without my clothes on like this?! Wouldn't you care if some random gossiping oba-san in front of your apartment tries to get their hands on me?!

Mirai: Well, that's your problem! not mine! Now get out!!!

One random morning in Ryosuke's apartment during the middle of summer...

Ryosuke was busy playing Biohazard in his apartment. He was only wearing his strawberry-patterned boxer that time.

Suddenly, the bell of his apartment rang.

DING DONG!

Ryosuke: (opens the door)

Mirai: YAMA-CHAN! LET'S COOK! (brings bags of cooking appliances)

Ryosuke: (glances at the audience, breaking the fourth wall) Mirai's gonna cook in my house....

Recalls an unpleasant incident of cooking with his girlfriend some time ago. It did not go well. A/N: Mirai's known for her terrible ability in cooking 

Ryosuke: YABBE!

Mirai: (looks at the direction where Ryosuke was staring at towards the audience) Who the hell are you looking at? (narrows her eyes upon hearing Ryosuke's words) Wait a minute, what does that suppose to mean??!

Ryosuke: Wait... I forgot to buy a new fire extinguisher to replace the one I used last time we cooked together in here. Gotta go now! I'll be right back! (immediately leaves out of his apartment door)

Mirai watches him as his figure walks casually towards the alley. Just as he reached an intersection, Mirai snapped and realized something.

Mirai: (exclaims) EH?! YAMA-CHAN?!! SHOULDN'T YOU BE WEARING YOUR CLOTHES FIRST??

Ryosuke: (turns back at her, then looks at himself. He was only wearing his boxer. He looked around frantically to find some old lady passes by with their eyes widen at him)

Ryosuke: YABBEEEEE!!!

Mirai: (throws a banana tree leave at Ryosuke from a distance out of no where) Use that for cover! Be careful on your way! (waves at him casually) Oh, and beware of some police raid!

As she said those she rushed back to Ryosuke's apartment.

Ryosuke: (runs towards his apartment) EEHH WAIT A MINUTE!

Mirai: (enters Ryosuke's apartment and closed it immediately)

Ryosuke: HEY! (knocks on his apartment door) LET ME IN!

Mirai: (opens the small eye opening on the door) Hurry up and buy the fire extinguisher! I'll start preparing the cooking ingredients

Ryosuke: But I need to wear my clothes first!

Mirai: NO! We've wasted too much time by now. Hurry!

Ryosuke: (pouts, but eventually obeyed and left with only a banana tree leaf as a cover)

Three hours later....

Mirai: Why isn't Yama-chan back yet? Did he got lost? He even left his phone here (sigh) I won't be able to check his GPS

KRING! KRING! (Ryosuke's apartment phone rang)

Mirai : (picks up the phone)

A man voice: Excuse me, is this Shida-san?

Mirai: Uhh... may I know who this is?

(in the background Mirai could hear a familiar voice)

Ryosuke: (grabs the phone from the man's hands and shouts) MIRAIIII THERE REALLY WAS A POLICE RAID! PLEASE SAVE MEE! 

Mirai: Eh? Ryosuke??

Ryosuke: CAN YOU PICK ME UP AND CONVINCE THE POLICE THAT I'M INNOCENT? PLEASE!

Mirai: No way! Just wait there for a little more. I'm in the middle of cooking something. The water isn't boiled yet.

Ryosuke: OMG YOU SHOULDN'T BE COOKING WITHOUT ME YOU'RE GONNA BLOW THE ENTIRE APARTMENT!

Mirai: HEY! (she was about to protest but then she sighed) Fine, where are you now?

Ryosuke: At a local police post near the bridge at the main street before my apartment district

Mirai: Fine, I'll be right there

Ryosuke: DON'T FORGET TO TURN OFF THE STOVE FIRST BEFORE YOU LEAVE!

Mirai: Don't worry about that. Besides, you have that robot that does your houseworks, right?

Ryosuke: THAT'S NOT A COOKING ROBOT! THAT'S A CLEANING ROBOT!

Mirai: Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Mirai closed the phone and immediately took a pair of shirt and jeans of Ryosuke to bring with her

At the police post...

Ryosuke: OFFICER, I SWEAR. I'M YAMADA RYOSUKE OF HEY! SAY! JUMP. I'M A VICTIM OF MY FRIEND'S EXTREME DO-S CHARACTER!

Officer: Then why the hell were you in the middle of the street?! I thought you're one of those singing illegal transvestite!

Ryosuke: HEY! Now that's just pure insult!

Mirai: (suddenly appears and made her way inside) Officer, I'm here to pick up my crazy friend!

Officer: (glance back and forth between Ryosuke and Mirai then shook his in disbelieve) Fine. I'll let you two go this time. (turns at Mirai) But next time, don't let him run around half on the streets. You have no idea how many had fallen victims today. There were some ladies, old and young, from the age of 10 to 50s, who suddenly nosebleeds and faints in the streets (looks at the pages of reports in his hands in a silent frustration) 

Mirai: Got it, officer! (gives the officer a salute with her right hand. Then she immediately grabs Ryosuke's hand and throws the clothes she had brought with her) Here, wear your clothes first! We don't want another Oba-san to suddenly get a heart attack with that (points at Ryosuke's bare torso)

As they arrive back at Ryosuke's apartment....

Ryosuke's eyes widen in shock upon finding his entire apartment enveloped in a huge fire. His jaws dropped open.

Ryosuke: (immediately turns at Mirai) OI! YOU FORGOT TO TURN OFF THE STOVE DIDN'T YOU?!!

Mirai: Woopsies

Ryosuke: WOOPSIES??! THAT'S IT?! THAT'S YOUR ONLY REACTION?!!

Mirai: I thought the robot turned it off just before I left

Ryosuke: I TOLD YOU IT WAS A CLEANING ROBOT! NOT A COOKING ROBOT! AAARRRGGGHHH!

Mirai: It's supposed to be a smart-robot! I can't believe he can't even turn off the stove!

Ryosuke: SPEAK FOR YOURSELF! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO CAN'T EVEN TURN OFF A FREAKIN' STOVE!

Mirai: EH, where's the fire extinguisher you're supposed to buy earlier?! Hurry up and put out the fire!

Ryosuke: I HAVEN'T HAD TIME TO BUY IT, THE POLICE CAUGHT ME FIRST BEFORE I DID! (makes a crying face)

Mirai: (sighs in dissapointment) So, does that means I won't be able to get cooking lessons from you today?

Ryosuke: YOU STILL PLANNING TO DO A COOKING LESSON AFTER YOU DID ALL THIS??!

Mirai: (talks to herself in dissapointment) Aaaaahhh.... it's too bad I won't be able to do some cooking today. (sighs) I'm all beaten up today. I think I'll just go home... (yawns and prepares to leave)

Ryosuke: THEN WHAT THE HELL IS GONNA HAPPEN TO MY APARTMENT?!! (screams at Mirai's dissapearing figure) YOU CRAZY LITTLE PIPSQUEAK!

Mirai: (continues to walk away casually as if nothing happened)

Ryosuke: I DON'T WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU AGAIN! EVER!

Ryosuke suddenly wakes up from his dream. He was drenched in sweat. His eyes abruptly opens as he screamed out the last words

Ryosuke: Ah.... was it a dream?

But then, he found a small figure standing beside his bed.

Ryosuke: EH?! (jumps up from his sleeping position) Mirai-chan??! 

Mirai: (frowns) You don't want to have anything to do with me again? So we're over?

Ryosuke: What the hell are you doing here?! (wipes his drools)

Mirai: I was planning to cook together with you this morning but you were still fast asleep. But then you don't want to have anything to do with me again, so I guess you wanted to end our relationship, so I guess I'll just have to cancel everything (crosses her arms in front of her chest in dissapointment)

Ryosuke: (heaved a long sigh) Yokatta....

Mirai: EHH?!! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!

Ryosuke: EH?! I was responding 'yokatta' to you cancelling our cooking schedule! Not us ending our relationship!

Mirai: So you don't like cooking together with me after all this time?!!

Ryosuke: Well... you can't really blame me, since everytime you do come to my house for cooking you'll end up having to use an entire tank of water from a fire truck...

Mirai: Don't you worry about that. I've already brought them for pre-emptive measures

Ryosuke: EH?! What did you bring??!

Mirai: (smiles) A fire truck!

Ryosuke: (glances out of his window) EEEHHH??!! YOU REALLY BROUGHT ONE!

Mirai: Then, can we just start the cooking? I want to make something sweet with you (smiles cutely at Ryosuke again)

Ryosuke: Wait... I need to call my life insurance first

Mirai: What the-- you really don't trust me do you? I can't believe it! We've been dating for long enough (pouts)

Ryosuke: Exactly! Because we've been dating long enough, I need to make sure I don't do the same mistakes over and over again

Mirai: WHAT?! So you think dating me was a mistake?!

Ryosuke: NOOO! That's not what I meant!

Mirai: Look, if you really don't want to cook with me, then I'll just go to my girlfriend's place

Ryosuke: EHH? WHAT?! SO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND NOW?!

Mirai: (ignores Ryosuke and takes out her phone. Then she began dialing numbers)

Ryosuke: Mirai-chan?! Are you cheating on me with a girl?!!

Mirai: (speaks to her phone) Umi-chan? Let's cook together!

Ryosuke: Oh, it's Umika-chan (breathes a long sigh) Yokatta... (rubs his chest in relief)

Mirai: Okay! I'll be there soon!

Then, she turns at Ryosuke with a serious face plastered on her face.

Mirai: Tomorrow, I'm going to submit a marriage certificate with Umi-chan

Ryosuke: (eyes widen) EEH?!!

Mirai: I've been thinking about this for a while, and seems like she can make me happier compare to you

Ryosuke: What.... are you talking about all of a sudden?!!

Mirai: BYEEE YAMA-CHAN~! It was nice knowing you (gives a final smile before she leaves the door)

Mirai walks out of Ryosuke's door.

Ryosuke: NOOOOOOOOOOOO

He immediately took out his phone and began dialing Chinen's number.

Ryosuke: CHINEN! THIS IS BAD! THIS IS NATIONAL LEVEL DANGER BAD! MIRAI-CHAN GONNA MARRY UMIKA-CHAN!

Chinen: WHAAAAAT?! I HAVEN'T EVEN CONFESS MY FEELINGS TO UMIKA-CHAN! !

Ryosuke: DUDE! WE GOTTA STOP THEM IMMEDIATELY! BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!!

Chinen: WE NEED TO GATHER OUR TROOPS! YOU CALL KAMIKI, SHUHEI, AND SHOUGO, I'LL CALL YUTO, JINGI, AND HAYATO!

Ryosuke: GOT IT!

After the two of them made the phonecalls, they immediately rushed out of their respective apartments.

They ran in slow motion and dramatically, with the OST of Baywatch as their background music.

The boys assembled together right in front of Umika's apartment. Yuto, Kamiki, Shuhei, Jingi, Shougo, and Hayato joined them a while later.

Chinen: Alright boys! Let's do this! (instructs the others)

Kamiki: Wait a minute, why are you only wearing a boxer, Yama-chan?

The other boy's eyes turned at Ryosuke's direction.

Ryosuke: DANG IT! (slaps his forehead hard) I FORGOT TO WEAR MY CLOTHES AGAIN!

He looks around and realized some pairs of eyes were staring at him. Some women fell to their knees, nosebleeds, and even fainted.

Then, a random officer in a bycicle appears and rushed to Ryosuke.

Officer: (grabs Ryosuke's hands by force and immediately handcuffs him) You're coming with me to the office! Running around in the neighborhood is forbidden young man!

Ryosuke: NO! THIS IS A MISUNDERSTANDING! (turns at his friends) HELP MEE!

The officer's eyes turns at the other boys. All off them immediately looks away to another direction, whistling, pretending to be busy

Shuhei: Officer, we don't know who the hell this crazy guy is

The other boys nodded.

Jingi: Yeah, just take him with you

Ryosuke: EHH?!! 

Yuto: (whispers secretly to Ryosuke) I'm sorry Yama-chan. We still need to proceed with the mission

Ryosuke: WHAT THE--?!!

Officer: LET'S GO! (pulls Ryosuke away towards his office)

Ryosuke: NOO!! NOT AGAIN!!!

********

Meanwhile, inside Umika's apartment...

Mirai and Umika was having fun baking a strawberry short cake.

KRING! KRING! (Umika's apartment phone rang)

Mirai: (picks up the phone) Hello, may I help--

Ryosuke: MIRAI-CHAN! HELP MEE OUT OF HERE!

Mirai: (narrows her eyes upon immediately recognizing his voice) What did you do this time?!

Ryosuke: I FORGOT TO WEAR MY CLOTHES AGAIN! PLEASE JUST LET ME OUT OF HERE

Mirai: I thought you said you don't want--

Ryosuke: FORGET ABOUT WHAT I SAID, OKAY?

Mirai: ..........

Ryosuke: LOOK, YOU CAN COOK IN MY APARTMENT AS MANY TIMES AS YOU WANT! YOU CAN BURN MY APARTMENT AS MANY TIMES AS YOU WANT. THAT'S WHY, PLEASE COME BACK TO ME

Mirai: You really mean it?

Ryosuke: I MEAN IT! I LOVE YOU MIRAI! 

Mirai: Awww.... (laughs. But then she frowns) You're only saying that because you need me right now!

Ryosuke: NOO! THAT'S NOT TRUE! I REALLY LOVE YOU! I WILL ALWAYS DO NO MATTER HOW CRAZY AND CREEPY YOU ARE.... wait a minute, scratch that.... YOU WILL ALWAYS BE PERFECT TO ME AND I LOVE YOU! THAT'S WHY, PLEASE CANCEL YOUR MARRIAGE WITH UMIKA-CHAN AND BE HAPPY WITH ME. I KNOW I CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY! I PROMISE YOU I WILL!

There were some cheers off teasing from both Ryosuke's background and Mirai's background.

Mirai: (laughs really hard) You really thought I was really going to marry Umika-chan?!! 

Ryosuke: EH?! You're not??!

Mirai: (laughs even more) You're so cute I just wanna hug you right now! (smiles to herself)

Ryosuke: EH? So.... you forgive me? You're really gonna come and help me out here?

Mirai: (sighs) Hang in there. I'll be right there to fetch you

She closes the phone and ended the line.

Then, she turns at Umika and they both laughed out loud.

Umika: Now.... what should we do about them?

Umika points out to the boys in her living room. There was Chinen, Yuto, Kamiki, Shuhei, Jingi, Shougo, and Hayato. They were all tied up to a rope and they had tapes over their mouth.

Mirai: (sighs) Let's just forgive them and let them go after I get Yama-chan out of the police office

Mirai took her purse and left Umika's apartment. Then, Umika leaned closer towards the boys and narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

Before she could ask any question, the boys instinctively points their hands at Chinen and murmurs words behind their taped mouth that sounded like "THIS IS ALL HIS DOING"

Umika then leaned closer to Chinen and pierced a sharp gaze at him.

Umika: You have a lot explaining to do to me little man (she opens the tape on Chinen's mouth)

Chinen: I LOVE YOU AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO MARRY MIRAI! (suddenly blurts out) THAT'S WHY, PLEASE JUST GO OUT WITH ME INSTEAD!

The other boys shout out their cheers which sounded like a terrible murmur behind their taped mouths. Umika blushed hard at this.

Let's just say, after Mirai managed to convince the officer about Ryosuke's innocence, the two of them went back to Umika's apartment. By the time they arrived there, Chinen and Umika had officially become a couple. The four of them, along with the boys of their past Horikoshi class celebrated Chinen-Umika's new relationship, and enjoyed the strawberry shortcake that Mirai and Umika had baked. 

(end)

Note: Well, this turned out to be really crazy and longer than expected. So the ending becomes really forced. lol. There seems to be so many OOC's from the characters here, but who cares. Haha. Enjoy this, readers!