"I didn't know that we would break up this easily

The tears won't stop"

June 5, 2015

Today is my birthday! This is the one day I'm supposed to be at home, ordering everyone else to do my bidding. But hey, someone needs to earn money. Everyone likes money. And as the only eligible person to work, I'll be spending my entire day choosing outfits and hairstyles for famous people. Happy 20th birthday, Hyejeong.

June 7, 2015

JYP likes me and my "work"!!!!! I'll be transferring there tomorrow, but the important thing is, I'll be gettin a pay raise!!!!! I'm going to buy myself a dress, a book, and a cake to celebrate once the first paycheck comes out.

June 8, 2015

I got assigned to got7. Lol, I'm hysterical. I also met them today. They all have pretty good manners as far as idols go, and they seem ok.  I've never been attracted to that many guys, but damn, all seven of them are real lookers. 

June 10,2015

Jackson asked me out. My life is currently on track to become a real life drama, complete with hot guys and dates. I can't believe this. I can't believe I said yes. I'm going to get fired by JYP. Why did you say yes Hyejung? Stupid. Anyways, we're going to see Jurassic Park next week. I feel like I should just break up with him then. Is it still called breaking up if we've only been on one date? I don't know! Who has time for this stuff anyways???? Let's see what happens.

June 15, 2015

I did it. I, Jung Hyejeong, went on a date with a guy. A hot guy. It was nice. He was really sweet to me, and I couldn't "break up" with him. I was going to to, but his eyes were so cute and his voice was so hopeful and he was just awesome. I don't know what I'm doing. It's odd, I've become the one starstruck girl in a drama that I used to ridicule. But hey, being starstruck is kinda nice.

June 19,2015

I guess Jackson told the other members, because Jaebum dragged me off and lectured talked to me. It was intense. Apparently, JYP is wiling to kick you out if you break the three year "dating ban". Is it really a good idea to date him then? I'll get killed by the fans and JYP if we get caught. And we've only been on one date. Am I really willing to continue this just because Jackson is funny, cute, and really hot? I don't know. I'm gonna sleep on it. 

June 20,2015

I slept on it. It didn't help. I did bring the topic up briefly to Jackson though. I'm not quite sure if he cares, because all he did was hold my hand and sing some random song relly loud. He's definitly an interesting child. In more ways than one. 

June 23,2015

Ok he kissed me. I'm freaking out, I don't think Im very good at this whole kissing thing. But is it weird that I can't stop thinking about it? God, I've become the lovestruck drama character. Get it together Hyejeong! 

June 27,2015

We had out first "fight". I'll be honest, I don't know if he is really willing to be in a committed relationship. I asked him if he ever planned to telling JYP or going public, and he said that he didn't want to think about it. We went on for a while about this. I don't think he gets it. He comes from a good family with good money. He probably doesn't understand the need to plan ahead for everything, from what job can you get to how can you afford food for all of next week. I don't get paid badly with JYP, but the family needs money too. This is literally a drama plot, someone call SBS.

June 30,2015

Another date. We went bowling. I can't believe he remembered that I told him that bowling was my ideal date. He's an interesting boyfriend, but a rewarding one. Dammit, am I allowed to refer to him as my boyfriend? I mean it's been almost a month, right? That's ok, right? I don't even know.

July 4, 2015

It happened. Again. This time it's probably my fault more than his, but I refuse to feel guilty. I just asked him if he had any plans in store for our future, because it seems like he doesn't. He started yelling about how I don't trust him enough and how we don't need to think about the future too much right now. And I guess I started yelling about how a rich, famous boy wouldn't know much about having to plan ahead. I don't know. I don't know if this is going to last, but I really really really want this to work out. I really really like him, and the thought of another person abandoning me is way to much for me to handle. How do I fix this?

July 7, 2015

We fixed it. Well no. We put a bandaid on it, but we didn't put any medicine on the wound. But I'll take this. I visited his dorm and watched a movie with him. I'll be honest, I cuddled wtih him more than I watched the actual movie. I don't regret it though. lol. 

June 9,2015

The boys were on Mcountdown today, so I did their outfits and hair. Jackson kept sending me all these flirty looks, and Heajin keeps looking at both of us weird. She doesn't suspect us right? I'm going to spend all of tomorrow up to her. Maybe she won't tell JYP or leak it if we become friends.

July 10, 2015

Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. I don't know what to do. JYP found out. I'm 94% sure that it was Heajin. Dammit.  Will he really break up with me? I've sent him three texts and called him twice but he won't pick up. Dammit. I knew he had commitment issues, but I don't know if I can handle him breaking up with me. JYP didn't even tell him explicitlly to break up with me. "You know what the consequences can be." That's literally all that JYP said. Is that enough to ruin our relationship? I hasn't even been a month, we're so fragile. I don't know.

July 13, 2015

I haven't been to work for the last three days. I've used up a bunch of "sick days" Jackson replied to me about two days ago, and I've been really busy crying. I didn't think it would hurt this much. Really. It hasn't even been a month. I miss him so goddamned much. I sound like some pathetic lovestruck teenager. I guess I am a pathetic lovestruck teenager. Jackson had this scent that I didn't realize he had while we were dating. It was like vanilla mixed with the scent out clothes that come straight out of the laundry. That sounds weird doesn't it? I tried to do my laundry this morning and I started crying. God I'm pathetic. I'm going to try to sleep.

July 15, 2015

Spent another day crying. I didn't even know that my body could produce this many tears. Today was going to be one month. We were going to do cheesy couple . We were going to watch some awful rom-com and have dinner together and just cuddle. Dammit. Why can't I date him? I knew he had commitment issues. Why did you fall so hard and so deep in love, Hyejeong? I hope this is one of those things that is sad now, but I'll be able to laugh about it ten years from now. I have this feeling that it won't. I have to go back to work tomorrow. I've used up all my sick days that I have right now. Wish me luck. 

July 16, 2015

I cried four times today. I swear, in the last week, I've cried enough to fill up a lake or at least a large bathtub. Anyways, I cried while I pulled the outfits out of the laundry. I cried when I tried to do his hair. I cried when I saw him flirt with one of the MC's on Mcountdown. I cried when I got home just for the heck of it. God I hate him. But I cry everytime I see anything that reminds me of him, so I guess I'm pretty screwed up. I don't know. 

August 1, 2015

I miss him.

Author's Note:

Hello! This is not the best thing I've written, and I apologize about that. I had like four different versions of this written, and this is the best one I had. I just had some trouble trying to come up with a decent plot. Anyways, thank you to the requester, December28th. The sentances are kind of choppy and sudden because it supposed to be a kind of diary type thing, was it hard to read? Also, do you guys mind that I add the Korean titles of songs and stuff? Please comment, request, subscribe, and upvote. Thanks!

Song Info:

Gone Not Around Any Longer by SISTAR19 

Music Video- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtVhwsACgTw