Positive vibe to Negative vibe then Positive then Negative
Support group : Crush AnonymousDealing with negativity is sometime , can be challenging. No , scratch that , ALWAYS challenging !. You have planned everything in yout mind, even the smallest detail, you can see your self smiling in your mind having succeed in whatever you want to gain ..and then happened . The plan is ruined , you didn't see your self smiling again , you cry ..and the worst part is , it's not in your mind but in reality. In the end all you have is frustration , depression , anxiety and procrastinating.
Human can plan anything , but again the one who decide it to be happen is THE only one.
Yes, your ing self !
Seriously if you want to wear your underwear, do you have to wait other people or creature to do it for you ? No , you have to do it yourself except if you're in the mid of THAT section . (smile) If you know what i mean.
"I'm a very positive person ...". Sighed." I'm a very positive person..".Yuri kept repeating that mantra in her meditation, sitting indian style in her bedroom, liting some incense. She just realized that in order to get herself free from stress or any form of negativity. She have to quiet her mind, stop thinking about the problems she had especially the one about her love-life, her crush for exact ...Im Yoona for more detail.
"I am a very positive person..". Taking a breath. " I am a,-".Someone interrupted.
"Coward who can't confess her feeling."
Yuri's eyes shot opened upon hearing that familiar voice near her."Hara ?! What the are you doing in my room ?".All the positivity gone knowing an intruder bugging her deep thoughtful meditation.
"Kekeke..". Hara giggled then hiccup." I am your bestfriend , i can be in everywhere you are , anytime anywhere..".Now she sounded like a stalker than a best friend. "Anyway what are you doing love bug ? You look like..a shaolin monk or something..". She hiccuped again.
Yuri rolled her eyes. " I am doing my meditation right now . My therapist said if i want to get my mind and body in sync with my reality, i have to quiet my mind and let the universe do the miracle.."
Hara blinked couple of times before burst into laughter."Hahahaha that's the biggest bull i have ever heard all my life ! Hahaha ". She kept laughing , then hiccuping, then laughing then hiccuping again.
Yuri groaned." Hara if you're here just to mock me, please my door is opened widely for your leave and closed tightly for your come..".
"Oohh..a little oversensitive aren't we ?". Hara's face changed to a serious one." Listen , love bug, if you want miracle to come into your life you have to do it yourself, no one can save you ( especially that absurd therapist ) from your problems EXCEPT your own self.".Hard to admit but, sometime Hara can be so right at this matter.
If Hara a little bit make sense there's only mean one thing."How high are you ?".
"Ohoho..my best friend Kwon Yuri.". Hara patted Yuri's shoulder." Sometime a person you never expected to be right usually the one that proved your judgements were wrong.."
"Again, How high are you ?"
"Not as high as i tried to slap all the girls's in university.."
Yuri scowled."You have to stop that ! That's not healthy , especially to your brain.".She warned.
"Oh man, i'm just having this zero point of an artist life. I
need a booze.."
"And i think that 'zero point' happened a lot ..". Yuri pointed.
" Nonsense !".Hara waved her hands."Anyway , don't change the topic. We're talking about your zero point now, not mine. What's up ?"
"What's up, What ?".
" Oh don't play dumb with me, because even if you're not playing it. You already one..".Another scowl from Yuri."I'm just kidding , chill man. Seems that meditation didn't get you somewhere. Anyway , you know what i'm talking about.."
"I seriously never know what you're talking about.."
"Nonsense !". A long paused."It's something to do with that cute junior of yours..so have you like, asking her out ?". Hara wiggled her brows naughtily.
"We've been hanging out for couple of times remember ?"
"Nonsense ! It's precisely me ! And that gay boy who 'literally' force you and that chick to go out ! It's always the same over and over again.."
"Well, you're my bestfriend . I can always 'literally' depend on you ". Yuri smirked blowing off her incense because it start to get on her eyes.
" I know, but sometime you have to depend on yourself too. I wouldn't always be there for you, sometime i go out fishing without you, go to the pottery club without you, and i also have to settle on my own date life ."
"Well, i can always be a thirdwheel between you and your date."
"Oh believe me, you wouldn't want to because it's always consisted something more than a dinner date, if you know what i mean..". Hara nudged her friend's ribs while wiggling her brows.
Yuri sighed." I know what you mean.."
"I'm talking about !"
"I know , i know..".Yuri paused." So..Do you think i have to make a first move ?"
"Mannn, that's what you have to do in the first place. If you do it sooner, you wouldn't be drowned in that therapy of yours."
Hate to admit, but Hara is right. Well, she's always right when she's high other than that her statements or opinion always debatable. Maybe , Yuri have to be the one who make a first move , like asking her out on a date or just spending time together, but she doesn't know how to do it. Of course, she just have to walk, say hi to Yoona, and then Boom! Ask her to date, yet it's not as easy as that , there still so many what if's in her mind that make her coward again.
So in order to booze her confidence again, there's only one solution.
Let's do that therapy once more.
~~~
Well, Yuri found her self sitting on this plastic chair again , in the therapist Seohyun's support group class with other patients or counselling buddies , where that therapist put it. Nothing changed, the people still the same like that small girl Taeyeon, that tall girl who always eat during the class Sooyoung while , Jessica the one who always look y and angry is nowhere to be found. The only difference is there's two new girls sitting among them, they seems younger than Yuri. She really want to know who are them and what their problems to have their self mend in this counselling, but since she's not the therapist or a socially chit-chat person, she have to refrain herself from doing it.
"Hey hey look at those two ..". Sooyoung nudged , snapping Yuri from her thoughts pointing at the two girls."They looked so young, i feel bad for their unfortunate life to be in here where they should be in their houses playing hotwheels..". She whispered but loud enough for the two girls to hear it, because they are now looking at Yuri and Sooyoung's direction with squinting eyes.
Yuri grinned awkwardly looking at the two girls." I'm sorry , don't mind her she've been through a lot.."
The two girls stare at each other then back at Yuri."I'm already not playing hotwheels since i was seven..".One of the girl said to clarified.
Yuri made a weird face then nod her head, seems all the people in here really been through a lot."Hey hey everybody~~".Someone suddenly came with cheerful tone to the class, oh it's just ..Jessica ? Looking all giggly and happy ?."What's my counselling buddies been up to ?"
"Hi Jessica, ". Taeyeon greeted." Wow you looked ..happy ?".
"I am happy ! Haha. Come on, don't be ridiculous , just because i never show my positive side, doesn't mean i have to look negative the whole time..". Everyone scrunched their faces in confuse." Cupcakes ?".Now everyone's faces lit with happiness when Jessica brought a basket full of different kinds of cupcakes.
Sooyoung really happy about it."Wow..i don't care what kind of you got but thanks for the cupcakes.".
"Are you sure it's not poisoned or something ?". Taeyeon asked bluntly getting a nudge from Yuri with don't-ruin-a-beast-good-mood look.
" Haha Don't worry Yuri , i'm ok and Taeyeon this cupcakes are safer than having your wallet in your pocket at Paris Metro.".She explained with friendly smile."And beside , i never poison someone when i'm in a good mood."
"So how about bad mood ?" Taeyeon asked again getting another warn nudge from Yuri.
Jessica giggled."Well let's just say, you don't want to receive anything from me in that time..".Everyone shuddered especially when Jessica show them her wicked smirk. "Cupcakes new girls ?". She offered the basket to them.
One of the other girl replied." Ah Thanks , but no thanks coz we are on a cupcake diet right now, right Wen ?".She turned at her side and notice that this 'Wen' girl eyeing the cupcake. She rolled her eyes then nudge her friend to snap her."Wendyyyy"
Wendy snapped"Oh yes ahh..".She scratched her neck."Seulgi right, we are on..cupcake..diet..".She bit her lower lip trying not to get tempted by the dessert.
Jessica shrugged."Too bad then..".she put the basket aside when the door suddenly opened by the person in charge of this counselling.
"Hello everyone , how are you ?". Seohyun came with smile on her lips, like usual .
" Hi Miss Seohyun / Hi Seo / *Munch* Hi / H-Hi "
"Hi Seo ! Cupcakes ?". Jessica smiled offering the food.
" Oh thanks..but maybe later.".Seohyun noticed the unusual mood."What's up Jessica ? Was there something good happened ?"
"Oh Seo..You wouldn't believe it. I cannot wait to tell you and others .the detail..". She waved her hands.
" Well , you can now. Since our counselling is already started..".Seohyun informed .
"Nahh, i'll pass this one for good. Lets those two girls be the first though..". Jessica pointed to Wendy and Seulgi.
" Ow..".Seohyun just realized she got new members here."I'm sorry, i didn't get the news that there will be two new members here..".She smiled apologetically to them.
Seulgi spoke."It's ok, we kinda come without signing up ourselves first though.."
"May i know how you knew about this support group class ?"
Wendy's turn to spoke."Ehh..we found your ad at a...cubicle in Taco Bell toilet.."
Everyone gasped then cringe.
"Oh ..". Seohyun smiled without any problem." Well that's happened a lot !".She lift her brows when she got a weird look from the other members."What ? I don't have enough budget for ad, so i sneaked that one into Taco bell ..".She explained."Anyway, how about we start our section , shall we ? ".She stare at the two girls." Misses You two may start.."
"You first..". Seulgi whispered.
" No, you first..".Wendy refused
"I'm older than you ..you first"
"So what ? You're going to grow old and die sooner, no you first.."
"I'm too shy.."
"Well you didn't shy when you ran half at my lawn. When there was my parents watching !"
"Well, you also there too even REALLY and in case you forgot that was when we were like ..five ?"
"Aww look how lovely their friendship are..". Sooyoung giggled in amuse.
" Ehh misses..".Seohyun in before there's another friendship argument in her class."How about you're the one who start..".She pointed at Seulgi, which make the latter pout and Wendy smile in triumphant.
"O-Okay..". Seulgi gave up." He-Hello..my name is Seulgi, i'm seventeen and in my senior year at highschool."
"Hi Seulgi~~"
"What's make you here ? Having trouble with your calculus homework ?". Taeyeon asked sarcastically getting a nudge from Yuri.
" What's make you so sarcastic this day ?".The tanned girl asked in the same time.
"Life.."
"Anyway, I'm having trouble with my crush honestly..". Now that got everyone's attention, Seulgi glance at her best friend to earn a support before continuing." So i have a crush at my classmate..a girl in my school named Sooyoung.."
"That's my name !". Sooyoung loudly claimed." Oh kid, i never thought you're having crush at me ! Me ! I'm just a lump of flesh that got nothing but food in her head."
"N-No..you're mistaken actually not Sooyoung, You but another Sooyoung..".Seulgi tried to explain.
" Oh puhlease, who else who got Sooyoung name on her birth certificate beside me ! It's ok kid , just admit it but sorry i never goes for a younger girl.."
"N-No , it's not Sooyoung , You !"
"It's ok to be shy , i understand your little teenage hormones.."
"B-but but.."
"Please Soo..". Jessica interrupted." This is just her first day at the counselling. Don't make someone's daughter got trauma ..".She warned.
"Haha i'm just kidding of course there's another Sooyoung ! Go on kid !"
Seulgi laughed awkwardly."Th-thanks..and by the way she always goes by Joy instead of Sooyoung."
"What the fudge ?! ". Sooyoung bursted." She have to be proud of having Sooyoung name on her birth certificate instead of some foreign white people's name !"
"Oh please Soo, what's in a name ?!". Jessica said rhetorically with annoy tone." Just continue kid, don't mind her rambling.."
"Th-thanks..". Seulgi began to think that coming to this counselling is a big mistake." So her name was Joy, it's been about , i don't know maybe our freshmen year ? I already have a crush on her.."
"Wow that long ?". Yuri shared the same problem with the girl." And you said you're a senior now ?".Seulgi nodded."What's keeping you back from confessing ?"
"She had a boyfriend.."
Everyone got silent..and then feel bad hearing it."That's too sad..".Taeyeon mumbled.
"Yes..". Seulgi's lips quivered holding back her cry, while Wendy trying to find a tissue." Though she and her boyfriend are break up now but still ..it can't deny the fact that she's straight..".Now she really burst into cry, luckily Wendy already found the tissue well it's actually a wasted paper napkin from Jessica's cupcake basket."Thanks.."
"Let it out buddy..let it out..". Wendy patted her friend's shoulder giving support.
" Well,let Seulgi calm her self down first before she continue..Now how about you're the next..".Seohyun pointed at Wendy.
"Alright..". Wendy nodded. " My name is Wendy , Just like Seulgi i'm seventeen and in my senior year too , Hi everybody.."
"Hi Wendy ~~"
There's a long pause before suddenly , Wendy burst into cry surprising everybody."Huaaaaa.."
"What happened with those two ? All sappy and crybaby..". Taeyeon scrunched her face .
" Like i said , teenage hormones..".Sooyoung pull out a wasted paper napkin and give it to Wendy .
"Thankyou..". Seulgi patted her shoulder." I'm sorry , i just can't help it. My love - life is just too sad.".So does the other people in this support group."Her name is Irene.."
Yuri spoke."Never trust a girl named Irene kid, ."
"Why ?"
"You know that girl who fooled Sherlock ? Irene Adler ?"
Wendy frowned."But that's just fictional character.."
"What's the difference.."
"Don't mind her ..". Jessica threw a glare at Yuri." Again , What's in a name ? Go on kid !"
Wendy continued."She's also my classmate and i've been crushing on her for long time too now.."
"Does she also straight ?".Jessica asked
Wendy chuckled." No..she doesn't , she's gay..i mean like Supergay ! With all those flannels , beanies , cutted nails and rambling about clexa #WeDeserveBetter campaign on twitter.."
"I get your point.."
"But the hard part of why i can't confess my feeling is because..".There's a long pause and Wendy sniff her nose first before continue." She's my cousin !"
GASPPPPPPPP.
"How the ?!". Sooyoung exclaimed.
" Like i said , never trust a girl named Irene, especially if she's your cousin..".Yuri still stuck on her Irene Theory.
Taeyeon frowned."How in the world man ? I mean you got a crush on your cousin..Isn't it a little bit like.......right ?"
A long pause before everybody debating Taeyeon's statement again.
"No..not really.".Yuri waved her hands.
"No , if it's between sisters it's , if cousins..well there's a little gap actually.".Jessica explained
"Bu-but but.."
"Mann ..what's wrong with , it sounded so hot !".Sooyoung have her own opinion.
Taeyeon sighed." Whatever , you're all a !"
"Actually..". Wendy continued." She's like my step cousin..we're not really blood related.."
"I knew it !"
"Good news !"
"See Taeyeon ? Not really ?. Your statement's always wrong !"
" !"
"Lets just move to another people .". Seohyun interfered before another commotion happen." Yuri..your turn."
Yuri got surprise but accept her turn."Hi it's Yuri..".She introduced her self to the new member actually."Well ehh..yesterday, i was having my meditation in my room , just like what you told me Seo whenever i feel like down, i have to quiet my mind.."
"That's right, that's a good step Yuri. Please congratulate her ". Seohyun clapped her hands followed by everybody.
*Clap..clap..clap*
" "
"So how about the meditation ? Anything happened in particular ?". Seohyun asked.
" I saw a light "
"Like, a godly light ?". Seulgi intrigued.
" No, it's actually a light from my curtain being opened by my friend , Hara..".Everyone scowled."But that doesn't mean i didn't found some good sign during my meditation, instead i just realize even we can find a light in someone who didn't even know how to tie shoes.."
"Jesus ?"
"I'm talking about my stoned friend Hara..". Yuri clarified."You know how someone in a high-state sometime can be as wise as Dalai Lama.."
"How that even possible ?". Jessica asked in disbelief.
" Well, she've been knocking some sense to me. Like, i have to stop depend on other people about my love-life because in the end i'm the one who have to struggle for my own happiness and i have to be the one who initiate asking my crush on a date.."
"Your friend have a good point..". Seohyun said. " So have you done what your friend advised ?"
"No..". Everyone frowned." I mean yes she have a good point and advice but she doesn't tell me how..that's why i came here to ask how, to all of you.."
Long silentttttt....,.....
"Mannnn..". Taeyeon sighed." If we know how we wouldn't be in here ! We also have problem asking that to our crush , right ?".Ah , she baited another debate.
"No, you forgot i'm here not to talk about my crush..so i think i can give Yuri an advice or two. ".Jessica volunteered.
"B-but but.."
"I think i have an advice one or two, you know something i never done to Irene.."
"Thank you.."
"But ..but.."
"Cut it buddy..before you regret it.". Sooyoung warned.
" .."
"Anyway , so how ?". Yuri asked again.
" Emm..".Seulgi commented."How about you ask her for date like, you bought this two ticket for movie but pretend that your friend suddenly canceled on you and you don't want to waste that two ticket with your grandma.."
Yuri's face lit up."That's a good idea ! Aw thankyou..minus the grandma point . I never goes to a movie with my grandma at least until i turned fifteen.."
"That's a record.". Jessica nodded.
" Wait a minute , so how about me ? How about me and my crush..".Taeyeon asked to the two younger girls.
"Well, how about you and your crush unnie ?". Seulgi asked.
Taeyeon smiled, feeling that a good vibe finally come to her side." So, i have a crush on my best friend . How i ask her to a date ?"
Seulgi and Wendy stare at each other, then Wendy the one who take the turn."It's a little bit difficult because with best friend, we couldn't differentiate between a real date and a usual girls hanging out.."
Taeyeon frowned."So how do i ask her without she thought that it's ..a usual girls hanging out ?"
The two girls stare at each other again."We don't know ".They said in sync which make Taeyeon more frustrated.
She slumped on her plastic chair." I gave up..".She added.".."
"Well, can i take my turn now ?". Sooyoung raised her long hands.
" As you please Sooyoung but..".Seohyun paused."May i ask WHY you still here ? Because , i'm sorry we don't want to hear any stories about you having crush to food again.."
"Ow come on Seo, this is a free country and beside love is universal..it's not ALWAYS between people and people..".Sooyoung debated.
" But IT IS weird for some reason to have crush on food, that will eventually end up in your stomach..".Seohyun argued.
"But IT IS NOT weird, in MY perspective !"
"Wow, the is about to be real..". Jessica said in excitement watching as the debate of the year is about to be happen.
" Well, How about MY and OTHER perspective ? Human never had the same perspective to begin with.."
"That's the point Seo ! Because human never had the same perspective to begin with , doesn't mean you can bug on other people's perspective especially MINE.."
The migraine came again and Seohyun cannot stop it."Whatever you want to talk about , just please make it quick..".Beside Sunny, the one from other schedule ,Sooyoung is also the one who made her head spinning like crazy.
Sooyoung grinned triumphantly."Thank you so much and beside people, today i will not talk about food..i will talk about HAVING a crush on a real people, real breathing people with hair , and eyes and dandruff not with ketchup and cream and chocolate topping.."
"We cannot wait..". Yuri said sarcastically.
" To tell you the truth i'm so excited about this whole telling story thingy , especially about my crush. Can i redeem my self first ? Like taking some proper breathes ?"
"Do as you wish, this is a free country..". Seulgi said.
Just like Seulgi said, Sooyoung started to take some proper breathes to calm her self down before she began her story about her REAL people crush.
[ 3 minutes and Seohyun took an aspirin later ]
" Ahh.. I think i have enough..".Sooyoung let out a last breath."But still, i'm so excited to tell you about this guys ! But , you know , when i feel so excited i tend to ..mess up with words so in order to prevent it , i need to eat something. Can i ask your cupcakes again ?".She stared at Jessica.
Hmm."You can, Of course You can~~"
[ 4 minutes , 5 cupcakes and Seohyun start to think of killing someone later ]
"Ahh ! *munch* I'm full ! Now my words would be as neat as a pin..". Sooyoung clapped her hands." Anyway , let me start it so...".She suddenly made a weird cringy face."Oh i'm sorry..i think i have to go for awhile, you know natural call.".She got up from her chair."Wait here, i wouldn't take too long.".With that she immediately ran to the door for finding a nearby toilet.
Everybody stare at each other with a knowing look.
[ 7 minutes and Sooyoung got back to the class later ]
"I'm sorry for the wait guys, when i feel so excited i tend to used toilet often kekeke..so..". Sooyoung stopped in her track when she just realize that no one in in the room." Where are the people ?".There's only left a wasted pink paper napkin on the floor.
Crick..crick..crick
"Guys ?"
~~
"Ahh.. I'm sorry for the sudden move of class, i think it's good to got a good new scenery..". Seohyun explained as she and the patients already gather at the park near her office. Actually , it's not about a good new scenery, she just want to ran away from Sooyoung." Anyway..miss Jessica , i think it's your turn .."
"Mine ? Kekeke..okay". Jessica giggled cheerfully." I think you guys really curious about why i'm having this happiness in me right ?".Everybody nodded. "Well, actually i'm happy like this, it's not because i got something or gain something. It's precisely , i just realize something important in my life.."
Seohyun nodded."Care to elaborate ?"
"I just realize that hating and competing with someone, especially that eye-smile girl, it's not good for my own being , that's why positive vibe never come into me..until last week !"
"What happened last week ?". Yuri got intrigued.
" Me and that girl , decided, to put an end to our war.."
"Wow , that's good finally.."
"How come ?"
"Well, we just realize that competing with each other about who is the real party queen is so sentimental and childish..". Jessica paused. " So we make an agreement , black on white, ink on paper, that we wouldn't bicker about this whole party queen ever again !"
Seohyun made a friendly smile."Wow, that's so very thoughtful of you two. Everybody please give them applause..".Everyone clapped their hands while smiling, congratulating Jessica."So i think , finally positive vibe come to you ehh ?"
"Well , it's been a good week..". Jessica sighed happily.
" Wait a minute , so how about us ?".Seulgi pointed to her self and Wendy."How about my straight girl and her not blood related cousin..?"
"Well dude..". Taeyeon straighten her sitting position." The only thing you have to do is , STUDY ! Before you thinking about your love- life !".She smirked cockily while Wendy and Seulgi pouted."Reality is hard ..right ?"
......................... Oh .
"No , you're wrong ! Although they are a teenager they have the right to feel highschool romance.."
"B-but.."
"Now , you can trust a girl named Irene a lil bit "
"But..arghh !". Taeyeon gave up again." !"
"Anyway , time goes so fast..our today section is done. Thank you so much for all your stories guys..lets end this with quote .."
*Vibrate..vibrate.*
"Oh i'm sorry, that's my phone..Just a minute.". Jessica took her phone then stare at the screen with face full of smiles before suddenly it turn into frown, surprise and anger. The good vibe was no longer there." That !".Everyone got shocked in their place when Jessica is like someone who about to choke on someone's innocent life.
"Mi-miss Jessica , what happened ?"
"That ! That eye-smile creep ! Just declared her self to be the one and only beauty pageant in my university , where that place is should be mine !". Jessica got up from the seat, taking all her stuffs." I cannot let this to be happen !"
Seohyun panicked."B-but Jessica , how about black on paper , ink on white ! The Positive Vibe !"
Jessica stare sternly at Seohyun then put her face close to the poor therapist."I don't care those whole damn , that's about party queen but about beauty pageant, That ...cannot take it away from me..".Seohyun shivered as Jessica immediately leave the class.
Seohyun sighed ."So about the quote.."
"GUYS !!! ". A familiar voice of a tall girl came." I finally found all of you ! Oh a new place ? Nice catch Seo..".She took an empty chair of Jessica's."So about my crush story.."
"I'm sorry but , the class already over..". Seohyun told and everybody start to gather their stuffs.
" What ?! But i'm not done...".Too late , all people already left the place. There's only remain a purple wasted paper napkin.
" "
To be continued
Well readers, do you want me to continue or end it in next chapter ?
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