I stood rigidly as the priest circled around to the back of the altar, placing his hands on the bible and singing along to the hymns with the choir.

It’s odd.

My parents beat and abuse me but they still insist on going to church every Sunday. They even look…respectful when they’re in church.

I stared at my appa’s serene face, imagining – remembering – the features contorted and nasty, rather than calm and resigned. Umma had her hands joined gently, resting on the back of the pew in-front of us. She had her eyes closed and was moving in audibly. I looked away from their disturbingly calm expressions and scanned the crowd, busying my eyes with something other than my parents.

As I was looking around, I saw a familiar chocolate brown gazing back at me. I widened my eyes at him as he smiled at me.

Joon?

I looked down, concentrating on my shoes.

*flashback to last night*

He carried me back – carried because I was too worn out by all the crying – to my room and laid me on the bed.

“I’m sorry I brought that up again,” he smiled genuinely, resting his hand on mine. I flinched, still unsure about how much he knew about me…even things I didn’t know myself.

He chuckled lightly, turning around and heading towards the glass doors.

Before he disappeared from me, he whispered back to me.

“I’ll see you later Jae Hwa,” he closed the doors, leaving me to spend my most restless night of my life.

*end flashback*

“Yah!” umma whispered harshly as she elbowed my ribs. I jumped back in pain and surprise, bumping into the ajusshi beside me.

“Omo, mianhe” I bowed like crazy, apologising to the man again and again. He simply nodded, smiling a little as he moved and looked away.

Why was that smile familiar?

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Joon tense up where he was standing, clenching his fists with his jaw angular and taut. I furrowed my eyes at him before umma stomped on my foot, demanding my attention back. I turned to her, my foot throbbing.

She glared back at me.

“Pay attention!” she hissed, saliva landing on my face. I closed my eyes and retracted back. She slapped my cheek.

“I am your umma! Its shouldn’t matter if I spit on you or not!” she snapped. The man beside me stirred, glancing between me and umma. Umma smiled at him.

“Miaheo, she’s a little off beat today” she smiled warmly at him.

I shrank back from her, seeing umma’s kind façade is…beyond petrifying.

She shot an expectant glance at me as she straightened up and turned to face the front. I did the same, enduring the rest of the mass and closing my eyes to pray.

I sat on the floor of my room, warm blood running from my mouth and down my chin. My back was collapsed against the wall in fatigue, my breathing rough and uneven as I closed my eyes.

It hurts so much.

After church – and the beating – umma and appa had gone off somewhere and said that they weren’t going to be coming home till late. Also known as “Take a foot out of this house and you’re dead”.

I concentrated on breathing evenly, steadying myself before I went to clean myself up…eventually.

Suddenly, I became aware of a light rasping on the balcony doors, the distinct sound of skin on glass.

I opened my eyes slightly to see the familiar and horrified face of Joon, staring wide eyed at me with his jaw hanging freely.

I stared back at him blankly, too tired to put any effort into emotion.

Pulling the door aside and throwing himself in my direction, he stumbled in-front of me, kneeling so that he could see my eyes.

“Are you okay?” he asked worriedly. I turned my head to the side, letting my hair hide my expression. I was seriously exhausted. Joon’s words of concern died in my ears as I felt my eyes close and my head lean against something warm and welcoming.

I woke to the scent of clean linen and vanilla as warm golden sunlight poured into the unfamiliar room.

Groaning, I sat up, causing several different coloured blankets to fall off my body. I picked them up, gathering the thick fabric in my palm and creasing my forehead in confusion.

Where was I?

“Feeling better?” I knew that voice. I turned around to see Joon, leaning against the wall with a concerned face and his arms crossed across his broad chest.

No sooner had I got up, I felt a rush of blood drain from my head and my back thumped back onto the bed.

“Ugh~” I groaned, touching my head in discomfort.

Soon I felt cool, strong hands in the place of mine, caressing my forehead and my pulse, attending to my wounds. I stopped a hand from travelling to my calf.

“I’m alright” I held his gaze with empty eyes. He retracted his hands, letting me sit up again.

I looked down at my arms, making me notice the dark green woollen jumper that I now wore instead of the – now trashed – dress I wore to church…but…how…unless he…

I slapped him.

He stared back at me, his wide eyes full of confusion and surprise.

“How dare you dress me?!” I yelled at him. His eyes widened even more.

“NO!!!!!!!!! No, no, no I didn’t I mean she I they did but I uh gah…TAEYEON DID IT!!!!!!!!!!” he pointed at the door just as a tall, skinny girl walked through.

“I did what?” The girl named Taeyeon asked as she set down a stack of neatly folded towels on a desk near the door “How is she?”

“She’s alright enough to slap me” Joon answered. I glared at him.

Taeyeon walked over to me, her delicate, gentle hands fluttering around my face. I stared at her mutely, being conscious of her movements. She could hurt me with her long, sharp-looking nails…

I flinched when she touched the bruise on my neck.

“Sorry~” she sang as she jerked her hands back.

I shrank back into the bedframe.

“You don’t need to be scared of me…I helped you” she smiled solemnly. She made me think.

I looked over my body. My cuts were bandaged, my bruises – most of them – had medicine on them and I was clean of any blood or sweat. In-fact, my hair was still slightly damp…

SHE SHOWERED ME!?!?!?!?!?

Joon better have not been around for that.

Taeyeon turned her attention back to Joon, who was in the corner, rubbing his reddened cheek.

“What did I do Joonie-ah?” she asked him again.

“Wae~? Oh, YOU helped me take care of her, didn’t ya sis?” he looked at me pointedly. I hid in my hair.

“I better go” Taeyeon chuckled “nice meeting you!!”

Joon went to close the door “I’m sorry,” I mumbled from behind the curtain of hair shielding my face. I had waited until Taeyeon had gone, to avoid looking weaker to more people.

He smiled at me, a little ruefully, and sat down at the edge of the bed.

We stayed like that in silence; the only sounds were of our breathing. Cautiously, I peeked at Joon from behind my hair.

His full lips were jutting forward in a pout, his eyebrows pulled together in concentration. He was staring down at the quilt, looking as if he were solving an impossible maths problem. He had his strong arms folded over his broad chest, the low singlet exposing the top of his sculpted chest and his neck. He sat on one leg, letting the other one dangle off the bed and stretching his sweatpants to their limit.

I stared at him as my mind began to wonder.

I wonder what it would feel like to be in those arms…would it be comfortable or strange because of how bulky they looked…?

My gaze lifted to his mouth, his perfect shaped lips pouting cutely as he thought. I wonder if…

I touched my own lips.

Realising what I was just doing, I shook my head fiercely. I shouldn’t think like that. I barely even knew him…yet he knew so much about me…

Seungho…I loved him…and he left me broken…that’s why I don’t love anymore, because love ends in hurt. Everytime.

Joon saw my movement and turned to me, his eyes light and welcoming again.

“Let’s go for a walk!” he said cheerfully as he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to the window. I looked at him questioningly.

“It’s a fire escape” he explained as he slid open the window and climbed through “You coming?” he held out his hand.

I remember the last time he took me out somewhere, I ended up crying. I stared at his hand blankly, considering this.

Well, if I’ve come this far, might as well follow through.

I took his hand and let him help me down the ladder.

We walked down the quiet streets, watching children playing and cars moving past us. I was terrified that one of the cars would stop and haul me away from Joon and back into the hellhole of my house, but when none of them did, I began to relax a little.

We stopped at a little opp shop on the side of the road. Walking into the multi-coloured room was like jumping into a rainbow, so many colours…

Joon took me over to a small corner of the shop where I saw a lot of glistening. Briefly scanning the items, he chose one and scooted over to the cashier to pay.

Why isn’t he showing me?

Walking out of the store, I tried catching a glimpse of what it might be. Joon pulled it behind his body, out of view.

“You’ll see it soon enough” he sang. Wow, him and his sister are a lot alike.

We walked around some more, only stopping once to get dinner when the streets stared turning purple from the darkness.

We walked into a strangely familiar street, with a large park on one side and an array of rather big houses on the other…

There was one that really got bells ringing in my head…

This house was huge, with a single column supporting the right side, the white exterior covered with winding ivy.  The concrete was indented into two segments so that the dark double doors and the balcony had shade. The windows were framed with wrought iron, twisted into delicate vines and flowers. Beside it stood a large oak tree.

Why did he bring me back to the hell hole?

Before I knew it, Joon already had me in his arms, carrying me bridal style into the house. He didn’t even need a key, the censors read my presence and opened automatically.

I felt his warm arms holding me and unconsciously blushed, looking away and hiding in my hair.

He carried me upstairs, laying me down on my bed and cleaning up the remains in which he found me.

After the room was spotless, he sat beside me, leaning in closely and smiling slyly. He reached into his pocket, his eyes never leaving mine for a second.

Suddenly, I heard rustling and a loud snap!

I moved back against the wall, closing my eyes and bracing for impact.

Why…is he doing this…?

He presented something to me, shoving it into the air in front of my face. I peeked.

The orange-pink light of the setting sun made the crystals sparkle brilliantly and the pearl glow a rosy pink. The band was a thin but solid black metal and a lone black rose made of the same material as the band featured alongside the others.

I stared at the ring in surprise. Is this what he bought in the shop?

Joon took my left hand from its place on my thigh and held it in both of his.

His palms were so soft and warm…

He took the ring from its case and slid it onto my third finger. It fit perfectly.

“I told you that you’d see it eventually” he said, meeting my eyes and smiling warmly. He looked back at my hand, adjusting the ring once more “Since it’s Christmas soon, I thought I would get you this, as a present from me” he looked at me from under his long lashes “I hope you like it” he said, playing with the ring on my finger.

I smiled at him, surprising both of us.

He stared at me for a long time, looking into my eyes for the longest moment in history. His gaze tugged at something in my heart.

Finally, he looked down, taking a deep breath. I let out the breath that I hadn’t even realised I’d been holding.

“I’m glad you like it” he said to me, meeting my eyes again. I hadn’t realised how close we had gotten to each other, with his breath tickling my nose.

Honestly, at that moment, I didn’t care.

After some time, he seemed to realise this too.

“I better get going…” he said, backing away and scratching the back of his head “goodnight” he added.

I smiled for the second time that night.

“Merry Christmas~” he said as he looked back at me, holding the glass balcony doors.

“Merry Christmas” I whispered once he was gone.

I looked down at my hand again, caressing the little ornaments on the band.

Getting up and moving to the dresser, I went to put the ring back into its box. Accidentally, I opened the wrong box, exposing a charm bracelet from a lifetime ago.

I put the ring down and stared at the bracelet, tears streaking the face that, moments ago, was so happy.

(A/N: HEYYYYYYYYYY

sorry, i know i said i'd be doing more updates now but i've been lazy D:

i'll work harder from now on ^^

anyway, i hope you guys had a beautiful Christmas and have an awesome new years :D

eat well, stay safe and stay away from strangers with candy ^^

happy holidays!! )