I didn’t dare to go out of my room.

The entire day I sat in silence, thinking.

Not about anything in particular though, just letting random thoughts float into my mind and then float back out.

I didn’t eat or drink, thus eliminating the need to go to the bathroom.

The constant ramblings of my parents echoed from various parts of the house. Cursing, screams, things being broken and scattered.

I stayed in my room for fear that my involvement would make things worse.

“EAT CRAP YOU UGLY !” I winced at Appa’s insults

“ OFF YOU BASTARD!” And with Umma’s retort, I huddled myself into a ball.

Because I don’t have anybody else, I find myself wishing for them to stop yelling at each other, for them to stop hitting each other and breaking each other’s things.

Because I have no one else to love, I have to love them.

Because even as they beat me, blame me, abuse me, take advantage of me and sometimes … break me, I love them. Without them, who am I supposed to rely on? How am I supposed to feel any bit of “nomality”.

They’re the only thing in my life I know to be consistent. No matter what, they are still going to beat me, swear at me hit me, and that’s why I love them, because it’s the only thing I know.

If they ever broke up, or got taken away from me, I would be the one broken, not them.

I lay down, sat on the desk chair, and curled up on the floor, waiting the day out in my room.

I started contemplating things, however stupid or odd, as they passed through my mind.

Why birds flew and giraffes didn’t, how the universe was made, why did Hitler believe in his cause so deeply? How could people have so much confidence? Why isn’t the sky some other colour like violet most of the time?

Like this, not even bothering to eat or even brush my hair, I fell asleep listening to the fuss and quarrelling of my parents…

“GET AWAY FROM ME YOU STUBBORN ”

“YAH, DO YOU THINK I WOULDN’T IF I COULD?”

“THEN GET OUT!”

“FINE I WILL”

I heard the slam of the door and a car ignition. I knew that Umma would come back tomorrow, as drunk as Appa would be, and then they’d reunite and be sorrowful for their actions, only to fight again in a month’s time.

Yes. Those are the people who birthed me. As I closed my eyes finally I wondered…what would I be like in a few years’ time?

A/N: WISHING YOU ALL A SAFE AND MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HEART-FILLED, LOVING NEW YEAR!!!

REMEMBER THAT GOD ALWAYS LOVES YOU!