MINO

“Kang Seulgi is about to leave to, hyung. She’ll move to Japan tomorrow. Are you going to tell her or not?”

The moment Taehyun said that words I feel like my world has crumbled down, shattered me into tiny little piece, I feel disoriented for a moment ─ If I just jumped off from the cliff, now all my bones were all broken in all over places. Every breath that I take only makes me feel more anxious, more suffocating.

“What did you say?” That was the only thing I could say and I could think.

“She’ll leave tomorrow, what would you do, hyung?”

“I─I don’t know, Taehyun-ah, I seriously don’t know.” My eyes are looking straight to the window. I stand up and dust off my jeans, making my way out through the balcony. The sun is starting to dip to the west, leaving a collage of peach and purple streaks across the sky. It really is pretty, but my mind can’t even enjoy its prettiness. My mind is a pitch black and there’s no a glimpse of light I can see at the moment.

“Hyung!” Taehyun’s loud voice snaps me back from reality. I stare at him blankly. “What are you going to do now?”

“I don’t know, Taehyun-ah. I seriously─”

“What the heck was that? You don’t know what? You know exactly what you should do. Stop being a coward, can’t you?” Taehyun drops all the honorifics all of sudden and I can tell you he’s being impatient with me right now. “Say it, before you run out of time. Say it, before it’s too late. Say what you’re feeling. Waiting is a mistake.”

Taehyun was right, waiting is a mistake. I probably didn’t realize it back then, but I’m pretty aware that I was stalling. I was gathering my strength, to admit and to declare that I’ve fallen with her, that I need her by my side not as a friend but as someone I could rely on, as someone I could worship, as someone I could trust, as someone I could give my heart to and if I couldn’t saying that I love her, I’ll be going to regret it for the rest of my life.

with everything, I just need to tell her what I feel.

“I’m leaving now.” I say as I make my way out toward the door. “Thanks, Taehyun.”

“Anytime, hyung. Just tell her everything and good luck.”

I just nod and smile at him before the door closes.

*

By 8 PM, I reach Seulgi’s neighborhood. I spend more than two hours just to get to her place because of the traffic. I don’t have much time until midnight and tomorrow comes. Tomorrow, Seulgi will leave and before she leaves, I need to tell something she needs to knows, something about what I feel.

From afar, I look up to her apartment window. The light is on means she’s at home already. I take out my phone out and dialing her number. First attempt, she didn’t pick up. Second attempt, still got no response. I inhale some air before I try another luck with the third attempt. “Come on, pick it up, Seul.” I’m waiting and waiting for her to pick it up but still I’ve got no answer.

However, I’m the strong-willed man if she didn’t answer my phone four times I only need to call her eight times. So, I continue to call her again.

“Hello?” Finally, she picks it up. I nearly scream in joy when I heard her dreamy voices as my heartbeat increases rapidly and uncontrollably.

“Seul, hi.” I awkwardly greet her over phone. I even raise my hand up automatically as if Seulgi was standing there in front of me.

“What do you want?” She sounds so cold not as her usual, my warm and bright Seulgi.

“Don’t you feel hungry, Seul? You know I’ve been starving to death, I realized I only had coffee since this morning.”

“What do you want?”

“I, well… I…” I begin to stutter. “You know, I’m currently here, waiting for you in front of your apartment and I really hungry at the moment, so if you don’t mind ─ would you come down, I can treat you some pizza or some chicken and beer? How?”

“What if I don’t want it?”

“I’m going to wait on you till morning comes, if tomorrow you wouldn’t want to meet me here I’ll going to camp here.” I try to breath normally as normal as I can, though it seems fail.

“Are you out of your mind?”

“I do and that’s because of you.”

There’s a long silence between us. She sighs. “I’ll coming to you.”

My heart is about to jump from the ribcage. I can’t wait to see her with my two eyes, I can’t wait to hold her hands and I really can’t wait to tell her everything.

Then after waiting for five minutes, I can see a familiar figure walking outside the building. Her chocolate brown, shoulder-length hair falling onto her face but I still can tell who she is by the way she walks, the way she sees something around her, the way she inhales and exhales the air, the way she her lower lips whenever she feels nervous or the way she flips her hair to distract her anxiousness. I know everything just by the way I look at her, well, much or less I know something about her. I know she might be feeling nervous just the way I am right now and I know, maybe, well just maybe, she still has that feeling to me, that she loves me.

“Hi.” I awkwardly raise up my hand and greet her. Forcing a smile as nice as I can, doesn’t matter if it’s looked weird.

“What now?”

“Aigoo my grumpy baby, can you please smile a bit?” I say as I pinch both her cheeks. She looks annoyed than before.

She pushes my hand away. “Not funny.”

“I can tell you some funny stories though, do you want to hear that?”

“No, thank you.”

The more she acts this cold, the more I’m dying to hold her in my arms. “Don’t you miss me?” I ask her frankly. I don’t care if I’m going to lose it, I’ll give anything and everything.

Her eyes are widened. “What did you say?”

“Nothing.” I smile,