Four
The Delusion of YouUnable to bear the uncertainty any longer, Kai opened his eyes, only to find himself looking down at the bright city lights from an unbelievably high vantage point. Lifting his palm off the 73rd floor window, he looked out in amazement at the brilliant sight. But a memory hidden away in the deepest corner of his mind was telling him he had been here before. The feeling was overwhelming. Something important had happened here.
Ripping his eyes from the view, he whipped around, only to find himself in an untouched hotel room, dimly lit by a pair of small yellow lamps.
Without warning, Luhan stepped forward from around a corner. “Do you remember this place?”
Kai felt the air leave his lungs as a flood of relief washed over him. He finally answered, after regaining his voice. “We came here after the concert.”
Luhan’s cheeks turned an unbearably striking shade of pink. “That’s right,” he nodded. “You brought me here. To spend the night.”
Kai could feel his heart beating powerfully against the confines of his ribs, as if it were desperately trying to escape its bony cage. But something about that sensation was also familiar. “I never told you how nervous I was.”
“I could tell,” replied Luhan, smiling gently. “I was nervous too.”
“It wasn’t like me at all,” continued Kai, running tense fingers through his own black hair, “to act so impulsively, with a stranger no less. I don’t know why I did what I did last night. I just sort of… got lost in the moment.”
“Do you regret it?”
“I…” Kai hesitated. “No, of course not… I mean… that’s not what I meant!”
“You misunderstand me, Jongin-ah,” replied Luhan, taking a few steps forward, closing the gap between the two of them. “I wasn’t trying to upset you. I just meant, after everything, was it worth the trouble?”
“I don’t know why being here again is bothering me so much. It almost feels forbidden. Like something bad happened. But it wasn’t bad at all. It was good. It was really good.”
Luhan blushed again. “You made a wish, Jongin-ah. A wish to relive our first meeting. So maybe that’s what we should be doing. Rather than trying to figure out what’s wrong with it all.”
“Is that what you want?” asked Kai, eyelids becoming heavy.
“It doesn’t matter what I want. It’s what you want. This is your wish, not mine.”
Kai quickly snapped out of the heat of the moment and came back to his senses. “And what would you wish for?”
Luhan looked down at the carpet. “I would wish for you to come with me this time.”
“What are you talking about? Come with you where?”
“Think about it, Jongin-ah. Neither of us remember everything, but clearly we were separated after spending the night together. Why else would you make a wish to relive our first meeting? I mean, it was only last night, right? Why would you be so upset the next day? It only makes sense that we
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