They’re driving back to the hotel, and it’s dark out. Namjoon has the radio set on some old-school rap station, but the volume is low enough that they can still actually hear each other. Jin is pointing out the window in amazement, listening as Namjoon explains all of the sights that he’s seeing. Yoongi is bumping to his own music courtesy of his earbuds in the second row, beside Hoseok, who is looking over his own shoulder to continue making ty puns with Taehyung, each trying to one up the other. Jungkook is sandwiched between Jimin and Taehyung in the back.

            “I can’t take much more of this,” Jungkook whispers to Jimin, “I think I’m gonna hurl.”

            “The puns aren’t that bad,” Jimin tries to reassure him. The shirt he’s wearing looks good with his muscles, and he kind of doesn’t want to figure out how to accessorize it with Jungkook’s puke.

            “Why do you call her puddle?” Taehyung asks, taking the bait from something Hoseok just said.

            “Because it was so easy for me to get over her!” Hoseok rejoices. The two begin giggling.

            “Kill me,” Jungkook hisses to Jimin, “Just do it.”

            “I love Nikes too!” Taehyung says to Jungkook, hearing what he just said and utilizing it for a quick pun.

            Jungkook doesn’t look at Taehyung, he just digs his hands into Jimin’s left arm to restrain himself and takes a deep, pained breath.

            “You’ll be okay,” Jimin says. He tries to pat Jungkook reassuringly but the grip he has is making him lose sensation in his hands.

            “You might have called her a puddle,” Taehyung starts, “But I think I’m going to call you the rain.”

            “Oh my god they’re doing more?” Jimin says in disbelief, “You can do this Jungkook, just a little longer to the hotel.”

            Jungkook lets out a broken sob, “I’m not gonna make it.”

            “Why would you call me the rain?” Hoseok asks, smiling.

            “Because you’re always there when I need you most,” Taehyung finishes sweetly. Jungkook risks a peek over his shoulder to gauge Hoseok’s reaction. Oh, wow, look at them. They’re hugging it out.

            I want them dead. “Aren’t puns the devil’s work?” he asks loudly. Jimin chuckles beside him.

            “They’re my true calling, that’s what they are,” Taehyung says, thumping his chest proudly.

            Jungkook eyes him up and down, “Alrighty, Lucifer.” He directs his attention to Jin, “How much further to the hotel?”

            “It won’t be long now, maybe twenty more minutes,” Jin calls back with a smile.

            “Oh, Jin,” Jungkook mumbles now, “Always so kind to me. If the hour of my death is truly upon me, he mustn’t blame himself. Tell him I love him, won’t you?” He asks Jimin.

            Before Jimin can reply, Yoongi tugs out an earbud and actually speaks, “Yo, food?”

            Jimin snorts, “A man of few words.”

            Jungkook elbows him, “Shut the up, he’s my savior. Bringing diversions in my time of need.”

            “You know,” Jin turns to Namjoon, scratching at his head thoughtfully, “That’s a good point though, we should get some dinner.”

            The rest of the inhabitants of the car cheer in support.

            “No,” Namjoon says simply, “The equipment is top priority right now. We’ll get food, but after everything is dropped off at the hotel.”

            The rest of the inhabitants of the car make sounds of protest. “Booo!” Taehyung and Hoseok chorus together, each of them holding their thumbs upside down and pouting.

            “Yah, get off the stage,” Yoongi whines jokingly.

            “They’ve been dancing all day. It’s late. They’re tired. We’re all tired. There’s nothing wrong with stopping to get some food and continuing on to the hotel,” Jin reasons.

            “I wish it was that simple!” Namjoon chuckles cynically, “We need to pick out the food, all agree, get to the restaurant, order it, wait for it to be prepared, pay for it, and it goes on and on. It takes a while, Jin.”

            While the two continue to bicker, Jungkook claps his hands together loudly to engage the rest of the group, “Okay es, let’s decide what we want now so we can get it quickly. I’m starving, so the sooner the better.”

            Jimin nods, “We all have to agree.”

            “Any ideas?” Jungkook questions, eyes jumping between the four others.

            “Hoseok and I should get sushi,” Taehyung says.

            “Why?” Hoseok asks him, brows drawn together.

            “Because you make miso happy,” Taehyung beams. Hoseok laughs pleasantly and claps in amusement. You look like a ing seal, . Jungkook tries checking if his seatbelt is long enough to strangle someone. For reasons.  

            “I know that I certainly don’t need any bread,” Hoseok starts, Taehyung looks to him expectantly and Hoseok places a hand over Taehyung’s as he concludes with, “Because you’re the loaf of my life.”

            “These puns gave me an idea,” Jungkook says, “Who else is down for cyanide?”

            “I am willing to take poison if Taehyung will stay beside-“

            Before he finishes, Yoongi kicks Hoseok from the seat next to him, making a whine noise from deep in his throat, “Hey, Romeo, cut it out. I just want to ing eat.”

            “But eat what?” Jimin asks.

            Yoongi doesn’t even blink, “We already passed like two of those burger places a little while ago, we could go to one of those.”

            The group comes to a consensus on this idea through eye contact and nodding.

            “Ahjusshi!” Jimin calls. Jin turns around and blinks at the boy, surprisingly calm and even-tempered for somebody who had just been nagging Namjoon for minutes on end. “We would like to go to Burger Thing.”

            “It’s called Burger King, honey,” Jin corrects with a smile.

            “Of course you would know that,” Yoongi says scoffing. He mumbles, “Princess,” under his breath.

            “How would we find one?” Namjoon asks tauntingly. He’s still heading to the hotel, but there’s some traffic up ahead.

            “We actually already passed like, two, apparently,” Jungkook calls back, tone equally taunting.

            “Aaaaaaaaaaaand there goes another,” Yoongi narrates, pointing to the restaurant as it disappears behind them.

            Hoseok follows it with his eyes, leaning out the window to wave goodbye to it, being sorrowful for dramatic effect. Taehyung giggles at the sight. Jungkook rolls his eyes. Maybe a bug will land in his mouth and he can stop telling these ing puns.

           “So they must be close!” Jin says excitedly. He begins tapping the dashboard, “Namjoon, do you know where the GPS is?”

           “No,” Namjoon answers. Everyone in the whole car narrows their eyes at him suspiciously, wondering if he’s lying.

           “I’ll find it then,” Jin says patiently. He begins pressing buttons. The fans go into full blast for a second. The windows begin opening and closing at will. Jin accidentally reclines his seat and loses his balance. The group laughs at that. He even turns on the windshield wipers for a bit. Everybody laughs harder, but he just flushes, mutters an apology, and keeps looking. Even Namjoon is affected by the good vibes and laughing along. Until Jin changes the radio station and Namjoon’s head snaps to him so quickly that Jungkook briefly questions if he just witnessed demonic possession.

           “Sorry,” Jin tells him. His voice is small.

           “There’s a sign at this intersection for a Burger King,” Yoongi says plainly, pointing so Jin can see.

           “Namjoon, please turn left up here,” Jin says calmly, “We’re going to go to that Burger King.”

           “No, we’re not,” Namjoon says back.

           “Yes, we are,” Jin says, crossing his arms.

           “No. We’re. Not.” Namjoon repeats through gritted teeth. His arms have tightened on the steering wheel and he looks at Jin pointedly, nostrils flared.

            “Yah, Namjoon, can I get a fry?”

            Namjoon throws a handful of fries in the general direction of Jin, still upset from earlier. Jin graciously thanks him anyway.

            “Okay, let’s see,” Hoseok says after Jin passes him the bag of food to pass out the orders, “Jimin got the chicken nuggets, Taehyung got the two small cheeseburgers, Jungkook got the chicken sandwich…”

            Jungkook fades him out as soon as he gets his food, in favor of tearing away the paper and getting that first sweet bite in his mouth.

            “Hey, Jungkook!”

            Jungkook glares at Taehyung for interrupting such a sacred moment, “What?” he all but growls.

            Taehyung lifts up his two cheeseburgers cutely, “These buns kind of remind me of your-“

            “Don’t,” Jungkook hisses before he can finish.

            But it’s too late, and Jimin and Hoseok begin laughing, fully aware of what Taehyung was going to say. Even Yoongi chuckles quietly through the straw of his soda. Jungkook flushes, glaring at Taehyung. Taehyung apologizes quietly, looking taken aback at the cute pink shade on Jungkook’s cheeks.

           “I’ll find your radio station again!” Jin says determinedly.

           “What’s the point?” Namjoon asks, “You already won.”

           “That doesn’t mean I want you upset, I never want to see that,” Jin says to Namjoon, looking over at him. The anger seems to fade out of their leader, and his shoulders relax as he smiles at the elder.

           But then Jin changes the station again and the smile drops from Namjoon’s face, “Wait no, don’t put on Adele.”

           “What’s an ‘Adele’?” Taehyung asks cluelessly, head tilted to the side curiously.

           “She’s a singer,” Jungkook explains briefly, wanting to get back to more pressing matters, like the edible divinity in his hands right now. Taehyung nods slowly as it sinks in. Jungkook snorts cause he just looks so ridiculous.

           Hoseok lurches forward to look at Namjoon more closely, “Namjoon are you crying?”

           “No!” He replies defensively, “Ugh, who’s chopping onions??”

           “Is this because of Adele?” Jin asks, concerned now.

           “No,” Namjoon lies. There’s sniffling as he turns to face away from the group as much as possible. But it effects little, and soon everyone is laughing at him. “Change the station, please,” he begs Jin, voice wobbling. The group laughs even harder.

           To change the topic and spare him, Taehyung asks, “So in America you can order, pay for, and receive food without once leaving your car?”

           “Yep,” Yoongi responds, “Because Americans are obsessed with instant gratification.”

           Taehyung had been trying to lift his leg enough to kick Hoseok’s burger out of his hand, but he just slouches down, wide-eyed, after Yoongi said that, “Whoah. Big words.”

           “There are also food trucks,” Jimin says factually.

           “What are those?” Taehyung asks, head tilted cutely in curiosity again.

           “It’s a restaurant in a truck, so they cans set up in different places,” Jungkook explains.

           “Whoah,” Taehyung says in wonderment, “So you can either drive straight to the food, or the food can drive to you,” he gazes out the window wistfully, “This is a magical place.”

           Jungkook wants to mock him for sounding so childish but before he can construe the words in a clever way, Jin rejoices, “We’ll be at the hotel in just five minutes!”

           Namjoon finally manages to find his old radio station and he turns the volume way up with a grin. Yoongi tugs out his earbuds in excitement, seeming to know the song as well. The both of them begin rapping along, Namjoon in perfect English and Yoongi just mumbling through to the beat and pronouncing what he can. Hoseok doesn’t know it nearly as well, but what he lacks in knowledge he makes up for in enthusiasm. Every time a brief phrase plays that he knows, he dances and gestures full out.

           It’s altogether pretty priceless, but Jungkook isn’t smiling so much. Taehyung is laughing hysterically and cheering for the performance. Cheering for Hoseok.

           Jungkook isn’t smiling much at all.

Author's note: *tour guide voice* and to your left, you'll see an extremely petty/jealous Jungkook just beyond the endless miles of bull puns we have finally passed. LOL I'm so sorry for all the cringe-worthy puns in this chapter, I hope you didn't hate it. Also, Jungkook seems like he would totally be the jealous type, and it's really cute to imagine so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

OH MY GOD BTS WAS AT KCON! AND I WAS AT KCON AND I SAW THEM AND *takes deep breath* yoo...... Imma do a little rant on each ing member LMAO this author's note is gonna be MAAAD extra so please excuse me and my petty . JIMIN IS SO ING HOT! ESPECIALLY in person holy ing jesus christ almighty. AAAAAAAND for his little introduction he did super super cute aegyo like boi 

what the contradiction

*moment of silence for ME and how i ACTUALLY DIED when these angelic ing dips went from performing fire strAAAIGHT INTO SAVE ME WITH NO ING BREAK IN BETWEEN NO ING /SECOND/ OF TIME FOR ME TO ING BREATH* fam.....i'm not ashamed to admit that I was crying like a little throughout most of Save Me because honestly I'm pretty sure that most of you would have been equally overwhelmed when experiencing that bull LIVE. LOL BUT I GOT OFF TOPIC BACK ON THESE MEMBERS. Jungkook is also hot as hell like I was not ready to face that. And he dabbed so much lmao i was weak. He was wearing all black and his muscles were looking so good. Side note: it's borderline terrifying how perfectly in-sync they are. Taehyung was SO CUTE HE KEPT ACTING ALL PLAYFUL THROUGHOUT THE DANCES. Building off of that, J-Hope did sO MUCH aegyo lmaoooo I was laughing so hard like it was kind of ridiculous but mainly just sickeningly sweet. He kicked off the little introductions by saying "Hello, I am J-Hope, and you are all my hope" like yo somebody better marry this kid and make him happy because my heart was swelling. And that wasn't even just to me like there were thousands of other people in that room experiencing heart palpitations even though this was only thE FIRSTT LOINE OF TEH ENGLISH EINTRODUCTSOION *deep breath* but moving on. Rapmonster was surprisingly awkward in person, meaning that he didn't have as much swagger as the other members, especially considering how confident and cool he comes across in their MVs. But honestly the awkwardness was just super endearing. Jin is a sweetheart. He wasn't as loud as the others, but he was smiling and waving in a more reserved-but-still-giddy way. He kept initiating skinship with other members. What a mom. Lol I love him. AIGHT SO SUGA IS LAST AND HE'S MY BIAS BUT LMAO WHAT A ING LOLLLLL he's so arrogant but it's not even douchey. He just seems super sarcastic and dedicated and a little teasing but also shy. Ugh these are all reasons why I adore him so I was head over heels (~*u*)~ 

ALSO I'M SORRY TO MAKE THIS EVEN LONGER LOL (I REALLY AM) BUT ALSO SEVENTEEN PERFORMED AT KCON AND NOW I'M SLIPPING INTO THAT DIAMOND LIFE SO ING HARD LIKE YO HONESTLY

DK's smile is brighter than my future and Vernon's jawline is more structured than my goals in life and Jeonghan's vocals are higher than my grades and this is all JUST TOO MUCH. I haven't settled on a bias (so many ing members o ma lordt) but I'm liking Jun, The8, and Hoshi most as of right now. IF YOU'RE IN THE FANDOM (i think we're carrots or sum lel) COMMENT AND LMK CAUSE IMMA NEED SUPPORT IN THIS DOWNFALL LMAO <3

Lol I'm so sorry for making this so long but peace out lovelies :))) happy weekend! (And a happy early fourth of july to my fellow muricans ! U S A ! U S A ! U S A !) I'm gonna be updating more regularly for the forseeable future, so pleeaase subscribe, comment, or upvote for more. I love you all <3 <3