Woozi doesn’t recall ever wanting to wake up, but right now, when the fog of his dreams starts to clean up from his brain and he slowly becomes conscious of the reality, he surprises himself with a smile. It’s probably the first time in years since he woke up in such a nice way. He doesn’t want to open his eyes yet, even if he feels the sunlight beating on his eyelids. Side note to himself to buy some dark curtains to stop the morning light. But in spite of his lack of seeing, he can feel everything and he knows exactly what’s around him. Specifically, the strong arms that surround him, the deep and steady breath that ruffle his hair near his ear, sending small shivers down his neck, the sturdy chest that rises and falls under him in a rhythmic motion, together with the heartbeats under it and Woozi briefly thinks that he could compose a song based on all this.

The blanket must have fallen during the night, but he is not cold, the warmth Seungcheol provides being more than enough. He decides to take advantage of the fact that the other is still sleeping and his mind isn’t yet fully awake and snuggles closer to the warmth, digging his face between Seungcheol’s shoulder and neck and he once again smiles. He missed this. It’s been years since someone held him like this and although he is not a cuddly teenager anymore he wants to enjoy this, just for now.

Jihoon hates mornings. He always did and always will. It must have something to do with the merciless light that always hurts his eyes, or maybe just the feeling that he is back to reality, another thing he truly hates. But this morning makes everything he experienced until now seem lovely.

The first thing he notices is that there is something in his mouth. Then the voices. There are people, he can’t comprehend how many, but they are whispering somewhere above him and it annoys him for two reasons. One, he hates when people are above him. And two, they are speaking too quietly for him to understand the words. Or maybe his ears are at fault? Now that he starts to become more aware of himself, his ears do feel strange. Or work strange? He doesn’t really know, but there are small poking sounds and it seems to come from inside his ears, rather than from outside. It may be because he just woke up, but he also hears like he’s underwater, sounds slightly blurred. Then there’s the headache, splitting his head in two around his temples. It’s worse than after Soonyoung’s birthday party two years ago and that was something.

But then again there’s something in mouth and just now he realizes that it’s the most disturbing thing. Because suddenly he realizes he is not breathing. And that he needs to breathe. That’s when he really starts panicking because whatever fills his mouth stops him from breathing but there is also some strange pressure on his chest that hurts so badly. He lifts his arm, quite a challenge too because everything feels heavy right now, and he tries to reach his face. But somebody stops him, grabbing his arm and setting it down once again and right now all he wants is to open his eyes but his brain must think that that’s not the priority because he just doesn’t.

“Shh…” a voice speaks near his left ear and it seems to reach from so far away. “Calm down, you are okay.” The voice says. Jihoon decides right on the moment that he is definitely not okay and that he won’t calm down until he can breathe. Speaking of this, why is he even conscious if he can’t breathe? This does the trick because his brain stops just for a second to think and it’s enough to calm him down. He realizes that the pressure on his chest is the oxygen filling it, and since he can’t breathe that means something does it in his place. The painful part is that his instincts tell him to take his own breathes and his is torturous caught between wanting to breathe and not needing it.

“We are going to make you sleep again so that we can extubate you without hurting you.” The voice speaks again and Jihoon’s head trashes around towards it because what? He doesn’t want to be unconscious again. He need to know what’s happening. But he is already feeling drowsy.  It calmed him down a bit, making the panic go away, but he still can’t stand the feeling of being so out of control of his own body. The darkness that comes soon after is more welcomed than he thought it will be.

When he finally decides to move, it’s probably past noon. It takes him a while to detach from the hug Seungcheol was keeping him without waking up the other, and even then he doesn’t really feel accomplished because he just wants to lay down again. But his throat is so dry he can feel it constrict and his lips start to sting. He has half of mind to come back to bed after he drinks some water, but he scolds himself for being so greedy.

Just when he finally leaves the bed he realizes that something is missing. Better said, someone. He sees the pillows and blankets on the floor and remembers that Chan and Seungkwan should also be here. He digs his hand under the pillow, searching for his phone. He unlocks it in his way to the fridge and there are indeed messages from both of the younger ones. He opens Chan first, being the most recent one. The kid only announces him that he managed to get Seungkwan out and that they should be grateful. Woozi text him back, promising the other ice cream for his well-done job.

He then goes back and opens the other text. It takes him my surprise, making his breath hitch and his heart stop for a second. There is a photo of him and Seungcheol sleeping and even he can’t help but gush about how cute they actually look. He makes a note to hit Seungkwan for taking pictures of him without his consent, but he secretly saves the photo.

“You woke up?” Seungcheol’s groggy voice interrupts his inner fanning. He almost drops his phone, but manages to collect himself and turn around to face the sleepy man.

“Yeah. The kids already left, by the way.” He says hoping that Seungcheol is still too asleep too notice his blush.

“Good.” The other replies letting himself to fall back on the pillow. The sight, Seungcheol laying so comfortable in his bed, makes Woozi heart swell a little with happiness and pride.

“What are you doing?” Seungcheol asks a few moments later, voice still lower than usual.

“I drank some water.” The smaller says, throwing the empty bottle in the trash can to emphasize his words. Seungcheol makes an approving noise. And silence again. Woozi takes his time to memorize the picture before him because he is sure he will want to remember this in every detail. So he is slightly shocked when Seungcheol suddenly lifts his head again to stare back with barely opened eyes.

“You are not coming back in bed?” he asks, seemingly not noticing the flustered Woozi. And yeah, he promised not to be greedy, but who could resist a half sleeping Seungcheol? And why would he, actually? So he drops his phone somewhere on the way and climbs back to his position from before, snuggling closer to Seungcheol as the elder draws an arm around his waist and lets out a content sigh.

“Let’s go out later.” Seungcheol whispers in the smaller’s hair before drifting back to sleep. Woozi smiles, slightly amazed at how domestic this is and how comfortable he feels.

The second time Jihoon wakes up all he can think of is how nice is to be able to feel the air moving thought his nose, throat and lungs on its natural way. He takes a few deep breaths just to enjoy the feeling, even if it pains him when he does so. The next thing he notices is that he can actually open his eyes. So he follows his instinct and slowly cracks an eye open. Thankfully, it seems like it is night time, the only light around him coming from somewhere on his right. It is strong enough to lighten the things around him and yet not hurt his eyes, another thing he is thankful for. Because his headache is still strong and he doesn’t want to feel any more pain.

Firstly, he is in a hospital room, that much he already figured from the previous time he was awake. Why was he here? The answer is laying somewhere at the back of his brain but he doesn’t want to acknowledge it yet. Maybe because he knows what a stupid thing he had done and he doesn’t want to deal with it now.

That leads to another question. Is he alright? The voice from before said he is okay but is he really? The burning in his chest and the migraine beg to differ. Trying to ignore those, he realises that there is also a sting in his right forearm and concludes that he is probably connected to some IV. It’s probably because he became aware of it, but soon he feels himself falling back to his previous slumber, and soon closes his eyes to another dreamless sleep.

To his surprise, Woozi manages to sleep for two more hours. He would have probably slept more if Seungcheol wouldn’t have woken him up. He can’t complain though, since he was brought back to conscience by Seungcheol’s fingers caressing his face. He automatically smiles.

“You woke up?” The other’s deep voice asks for the second time that day. Woozi opens his eyes in reply. He is welcomed with a bright smile, big, sparkly eyes and long lashes. He actually wishes he could see this every morning.

“You know,” Seungcheol starts, adoring smile lightly gracing his face, “I think you have the most stunning smile I’ve ever seen.” It makes Woozi smile some more. It’s been awhile.

“See! You are so adorable right now!” Seungcheol gushes, finger poking at one Woozi’s dimples. Deciding to entertain him, the smaller spread his lips in the biggest smile he have done in a long time, eyes transforming intro half-moons and dimples deepening. Seungcheol muffles a scream in his pillow, making the other laugh out loud.  

The third time Jihoon is woken up by voices. Not as quiet as the ones from the first time, he hears two people arguing somewhere to his left side. He slowly opens his eyes, planning to tell them to shut up because he still feels tired and he wants to sleep some more. The light from outside is so pale, probably the sunrise is approaching. He turns his head to the left, a mission that takes more than he is used to since the headache is still present. He also notes the way his throat burns and he is about o open his mouth to ask for some water when the words one of the persons sitting by his door interrupts him.

“Are you sure he is okay?” the voice seems to be a young man’s and as Jihoon narrows his eyes he notices that there are indeed two men. One of them, visibly older, must be a doctor taken by the green clothes. The other one is the one that spoke, and he seems young, maybe even a teenager. His voice, in spite of the urgency he spoke with, possesses a strange warmth and calmness Jihoon met only at much older people.

“I told already, it is something normal.” The doctor answers. He seems tired, maybe a hard day, or night, or maybe he heard the question too many times already.

“But he’s been sleeping for five days!” the younger one argues, his voice raising a bit. He seems to notice as he throws a flustered look at the floor and clears his throat. “Are you sure there’s nothing wrong inside of him?”

It takes a little to Jihoon to realize that they are talking about him. Who’ll they talk about since he is the only one in the room? The next thing that strikes him is the amount of days the younger man said. Five days. He’s been sleeping for five days? Doesn’t that count as coma? Why is he here again?

The doctor’s voice cuts his thoughts off again.

“I told you already that it is perfectly normal. After this kind of experience the organism is very tired and so is the mind. He need as much rest as he can get at the moment.”

‘This kind of experience?’ Jihoon asks himself. Back to his thoughts trail, why is he in the hospital? He tries to remember what happened yesterday, or five days ago. He does recall going to work, and then back home somewhere close to the middle of the night. He remembers how angry his stomach was since he barely ate anything that day and how he ignored it and went straight to bed since he was too tired. Before he fell asleep he thought once again about how he would pay the rent the next day but then everything goes black. He knows there is more. It’s buzzing him but once he tries to reach for it he is welcomed by darkness.

“You should go home, Mr Hong. It’s getting pretty late. I’ll call you if he wakes up.” The doctors speaks again. The other lets out a heavy sigh and he turns to walk out of the door. Jihoon quickly closes his eyes when the doctor casts him a quick glance but the footsteps don’t come closer. They just follow the younger’s out of the door. Jihoon finds himself being lulled to sleep once again.

“I’ll go back to my room to take a shower and change. Let’s go out after, okay?” Seungcheol murmurs in his hair. They stayed in bed for another hour or more, just enjoying each other’s warmth and making small talk from time to time. Woozi nods to the older’s proposal. He also has to shower.

They get out of bed after some struggling. Woozi doesn’t want to admit how cold the room seems without Seungcheol’s body around his. They separate at the door and the taller bends down and presses a short kiss on Woozi’s forehead, promising to see him again in half an hour. Woozi closes the door with a smile.

The fourth time Jihoon wakes up with his memories intact. Even if everything is blurred, soaked in the rain from that night, he remembers the nightmare, the darkness and the bridge. He recalls the cold waters and the relief he felt.

Shocked, he opens his eyes with a small sob. This time the light is bright enough to make him close them back, but he kept them opened enough to see that he is not alone in the room. The young man from the last night, was it last night or has more time passed?, was watching him and right now Jihoon wishes he could disappear or at least fall back asleep. He is not ready to talk to somebody, not prepared to face the consequences of his stupid actions. And he is also so ashamed of himself that he wishes the bed will swallow him, let him fall back into unconsciousness, away from any responsabilities.

“You are awake.” Jihoon is slightly thankful it is not a question so he doesn’t need to answer. But the certainty in the other voice means he saw him, so he can’t pretend he is asleep. Eventually he opens his eyes and fixes them on the other man. He tries to hide the state of confusion he is in as the brown haired man (boy?) closely studies his face.

“What’s your name?” the other asks after a minute when they just stare at each other, both of them beware of the other. It’s actually a strange question, Woozi was expecting more something like “How are you?” or “Why did you do it?”. Answering his name is actually easy.

“Lee Jihoon.” He tries to articulate but it comes out more like a strangled noise than words. He frowns. What happened to his voice?

“Don’t worry. The doctor said this is going to happen. It’s because of the water and also because you are very dehydrated. You’ve been sleeping for a week, so it will take a while until you’ll be back on your feet.” The young man’s voice is monotonous, like he’s reciting the weather broadcast, like he has to deal with suicidal kids every day. The thought sends a shiver down Jihoon’s spine. He is however, relieved to find out that his voice will be fine. It is, after all, his most priced possession.

“So your name is Lee?” Jihoon nods and struggles to repeat his name.

“Lee Jimoon?” the other tries. Jihoon scoffs. “Jihoon” he says again and the other frowns trying to understand.

“Jihoon?” he asks and the patient nods his head.

“Okay, Lee Jihoon.” The stranger says, testing the name once again. “We’ve been trying to identify you since you were brought here but you weren’t carrying any ID or even a phone with you.”

Jihoon nods, remembering how he left his room just with a jacket. Back then he couldn’t think of anything but the burn on his skin. His attention is brought back to the present when the man before him says something about contacting his family.

“No.” he interrupts him, voice coming out rough, but understandable. The other one stops.

“No what?”

“Don’t.” Jihoon forces his throat even if it burns every time he speaks. “No family.” He manages to croak out. The young man eyes turn into slits.

“You don’t have a family?” he asks and Jihoon nods fervently. If the other believes him, he doesn’t know. But there’s no way he’ll let them contact his parents.

“Fine, Lee Jihoon.” The other says and Jihoon realizes what a big mistake was to tell him his real name. “I’ll tell the doctors you are awake and I’ll bring you some warm water, maybe it will help with your throat.”

He turns around, frown still gracing his face and Jihoon prays to any God out there that they won’t search his name on the registers. That’s when he becomes aware that he doesn’t know the other’s name it.

From the full sentence he wants to speak only two words barely leave his mouth: “Who… you?”.

The young man turns around when he is about to open the door and gives Jihoon the first smile since they met.

“Hong Jisoo. I was the one who saw you fall.” He says and leaves. Jihoon wants to say that he didn’t fall. That he jumped. But something in Jisoo’s soft smile and sad eyes makes him think that the other may already know it.

There are knocks on the door and Woozi throws one last look in the mirror, fixing his beanie, before running to the door and opening with a smile he can barely contain. He doesn’t need to do it when he sees that not Seungcheol’s waiting for him. The man before him offers him a smile and waves a hand in salute. Woozi can feel his happiness drain, panic slowly arising.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, voice sounding ruder than he intended. The other one seems taken a back and maybe even a bit hurt, as his smile also wears off.

“I thought I taught you to be more polite, Jihoon.” He says.

“Don’t call me that.” Woozi lowly hisses. There are footsteps on the floor and Woozi turns around to face a confused looking Seungcheol.