Seungcheol’s phone goes on at 10 pm and he answers it without even looking at the screen. It must be Jihoon. It should be him.

“Hyung!” But it’s not. For the first time, Seungkwan’s overly excited voice sounds annoying.

“What is it, Seungkwan?” he doesn’t want to be rude, but he can’t help himself at the moment.

“Oh, you are busy? Sorry, hyung. I just didn’t see you at all today and I wanted to know your reaction.” The kid talks so fast that Seungcheol only gets the last word, but it’s enough to send him in a state of confusion.

“Reaction?” he asks quietly.

“Yes!! Honestly, I wanted to call you this morning, but Chan stopped me. He said that you guys must be busy and I shouldn’t interrupt you. But it’s almost night and I really, really wanted to know. I knew Woozi hyung would kill me if I called him so I called you.”

The name sends another strike of pain in his heart.

“What are you talking about?” he asks quietly, trying to distract himself, eyes blinking the fresh tears away.

“The song, hyung!” Seungkwan seems almost annoyed. “The song Woozi hyung posted last night.” What song? Seungcheol wonders. There is a loud gasp at the other end.

“Don’t tell me you didn’t see it?! Oh my god, hyung!!! How could you not see it? It’s been almost a whole day. Everyone saw it!”

The song Woozi posted. Woozi posted something last night? His trembling hand reaches for the laptop under his bed, Seungkwan words becoming background noise as he waits for it to open.

“I’ll call you later.” He whispers into his phone and ends the call before the kid could protest. As his browser loads he remembers that Eunbi said this morning that Woozi’s new song is her favorite.

And there it is. A notification he must have ignored in the morning rush. A song posted 18 hours ago. The first thing that he notices is the description. It’s actually the first time he sees a description for one of Jihoon’s works. It’s short, not covering even a row. But the words hurt him endlessly.

‘Thank you. I hope you know that you are special for me.’

His hand clicks play unconsciously.

‘Sing for you’ is a simple song, lyrics flowing softly on a guitar base. He doesn’t get to finish it in one go, his loud sobs forcing him to pause it. But he does finish it after, and again later and then again and again until the sun rays hit his tear soaked face and every single word ends up engraved in his mind. He lies on his bed, eyes wide, staring at the ceiling, as the song repeats one more time, one more danger dripping with guilt twisting his heart.

When Jihoon wakes up everything hurts. His limbs, his swollen eyes, his chest, his stomach and especially his skull. He swears even his brain. He groans loudly while trying to get up, but he fails miserably, head hitting the pillows hard. He always thought that his pillows are soft, but right now it feels like he just hit the concrete. It takes him a full five minutes to get used to the new pain and open his eyes again.

First thing, he is in his room. How? He has no idea. But he is thankful for that at least. The next thing that he is thankful for is the glass of water placed next to his bed. He almost wants to cry in relief when he sees it. The hard part is to get to it. It seems that he has to verbally command his arm to move for it, using the headboard for support when he lifts himself. But the water feels so good on his dry throat that it is worth the effort.

Next to the glass he finds two small pills and a note. He gulps the pills not even wondering what they are or how they got there. He just hopes that they’ll take away at least a part of the pain. He places the glass back on the nightstand and grabs the note between his fingers as he lets his body fall back on the bed. 

His eyes take their time until they focus on the little words scribbled on the paper. The horrible handwriting doesn’t really help his condition, but it looks kind of familiar. ‘Call me when you wake up.’ It says. Under it there is a string of numbers. For some reason his confused brain recognizes them instantly. He doesn’t even need a name to know who they belong.

And then he remembers the last night. Soonyoung’s pub and the drinks, a flash of blue hair and a soft shirt. And then darkness. How did he get home? Obviously, Soonyoung brought him home, but if Jihoon was conscious enough to tell him the address, what else did he tell? Did he talk about what happened yesterday? Did he end up a crying mess complaining about his love life? He really hopes he wasn’t that drunk.

The thought of yesterday gives his chest another stab and his head starts aching for a different reason. He rests his head between the pillows and closes his eyes again. The note slips onto the ground, but he doesn’t care. He is not going to call Soonyoung anyway. With his pride and sanity back in place he knows that last night was a mistake he won’t repeat.

He is shaken awake a few hours later by a strong hand. For a second he forgets about the pain and twists his body towards it. It’s warm, and familiar on his shoulder, but when his eyes open his hope is crushed. Suddenly, he notices that the hand is actually not that warm and definitely smaller than the one he grew used to. Small eyes and a cute smile are way too different than Seungcheol’s big orbs and charming smirk. He almost swings a pillow in Soonyoung’s face.

“How did you get in?” he asks instead. He must at least try to act civil. He owns it to Soonyoung. The other chuckles and takes a sit on the bed’s edge.

“I borrowed your key this morning when I left.” Soonyoung voice hasn’t changed too much since the last time Jihoon heard it, or at least since he remembers considering last night's events. It’s just as soft and reassuring as before, but maybe less squeaky.

“That’s theft.” Jihoon argues, eyes finally completely open. His headache is still present, but not as strong as before. Maybe the pills helped, maybe the nap. He proceeds to lift his body into a more presentable position, even if he knows Soonyoung doesn’t care. The other tries to help him sit up, but Jihoon pushes his hands away.

“It’s not theft, since I brought it back.” Soonyoung replies and places the key on the nightstand. Jihoon eyes follow it and then remain fixed on it. “And besides, I knew you wouldn’t call and that I’ll have to come back by myself.”

“You didn’t need to come back at all.”

Soonyoung ignores his remark. “You always sleep a lot after you drink and then get hungry, so I bought food.” He happily announces, pointing to a white plastic bag placed on Jihoon’s desk. The smaller looks at it a little taken aback.

“Why do you still remember this?” he quietly wonders. Soonyoung lets out another chuckle.

“Of course I remember. You are my friend.”

It makes Jihoon finally look at him. In the last years Soonyoung lost his baby fat, his cheekbones pointing out in a manly way, contrasting with his warm eyes and never missing smile.

“It’s been five years, Soonyoung.” He tries to reason with the other. He should know it’s not a good idea. He has never succeeded in making Soonyoung change his opinions. The man smiles brightly at him.

“Really? Time sure flies fast.”

The affirmation, spoken in such a carefree tone, strangely angers Jihoon. “I didn’t fly fast for me.” He protests. The initial surprise in Soonyoung eyes is replaced with something calmer, heavier. Is it concern or pity?

“I was expecting that. But I kept on hoping that if something really bad happens, you’ll come to me. And you did, last night.”

It makes Jihoon wonder again what exactly he did last night. What did he say? His worry must have reflected on his face, or maybe Soonyoung never forgot how to read him, because he answers it.

“You didn’t say much. You just cried and then fell asleep. I wanted to take you to my house, but you insisted on coming here.” The way Soonyoung averts his eyes at the end of the sentence makes Jihoon think that there is more to it, but maybe it’s better for him not to know.

“You want to talk about… whatever happened?” Soonyoung catches his attention again. “Is it about your mother?” Jihoon confusion makes him add: “I saw her on the news.”

Jihoon doesn’t say a word. Soonyoung said that he was expecting Jihoon to come to him in a really hard time. But he hadn’t thought of doing it when he found out about his mother. No, at that time Seungcheol was all he needed.

“Who is Seungcheol?” The question makes him jolt. Was he thinking out loud? He doubts it. Soonyoung eyes are trained on Jihoon’s floor and the smaller realizes that he is avoiding eye contact.

“How do you know that name?” he asks, trying to catch the other’s stare but failing.

“You mentioned it last night.” Jihoon’s breath hitches. .

“What did I say?” he asks, even though he is afraid of the answer. He can already feel his pride bleeding.

“Nothing much.” It is obviously a lie. Soonyoung would look at him if it would be the truth, but his eyes keep scanning Jihoon’s empty walls. “You just wanted to come here in case Seungcheol would pass by.”

Jihoon doubts that this is how he formulated it, but he appreciates Soonyoung’s attempt to save his pride. He sighs, refraining his thought of travelling too far into the subject. Last night was his moment of breakdown. Now it’s time to move on.

“So, who is he?” Soonyoung insists.

“Just somebody I know.” Jihoon answers, evidently not wanting to go on. “You said something about food?”

The blue haired male sighs, but gets up to bring the food. Jihoon eyes the empty place he leaves. It’s the exact place Seungcheol sat a day before when he was waiting for Jihoon to get ready for their date. The excitement from just 24 hours ago seems a long forgotten shadow now. Watching Soonyoung approaching the bed again makes him wonder for how long he’ll be around. Maybe tomorrow morning Jihoon will wake up and the place will look twice as empty.

“I bought chicken and some soup for your stomach. I hope it is still warm.” The unnecessary kindness brings another wave of guilt in Jihoon’s stomach. Why is Soonyoung acting like they are still in high school? How can he? Jihoon wishes to have that ability too.

He also wishes he wouldn’t have gone to that pub last night, he wishes he would have not involved Soonyoung in his life again. Because, in spite of what the other seems to think, this is not the worst situation Jihoon has been in. Not even close. But something changed in the last weeks. Somehow, his music wasn’t enough last night, not like it used to be. No, he needed someone, a living being. Frowning, he bites into the chicken wing a little too hard, forgetting about the bone. His teeth make a crashing sound, surprising Soonyoung and himself.

“Are you that hungry?” Soonyoung jokes, an awkward chuckle following it. The tension in the room grows, pressing on them with unsaid questions until Jihoon can’t bear it.

“What did you do this morning?” he asks, munching on his fourth piece of chicken while Soonyoung plays with his first. But the question seems to lighten some interest in the other’s eyes as he finally lifts his face to make eye contact. There’s that spark in his eyes and Jihoon already knows that he’s going to talk about dancing.

 “I had a dance class.” He explains excitedly.

“At your studio?”

“Oh, you remembered!" Jihoon tries not to feel insulted by how suprised Soonyoung is. "Yeah. This morning I had the youngest group. They are all under 7 year-old. You should see how adorable they look when they dance.” Jihoon scoffs. His opinion of the little devils has always contrasted with Soonyoung’s.

“What did you teach them?”

“Some simple choreography on a hip hop song. They seem to love this style.”

And then he goes on explaining about the dance and the kids and then telling a story about some 4-year-old boy who cried on the first class but now clings onto him every time. It’s nice how simple the conversation flows. Soonyoung talks a lot while Jihoon enjoys the food and puts a few questions from time to time. It starts to feel like they are back in high school, sitting on the hard floor of Soonyoung’s old studio and sharing how their day went. Jihoon feels nostalgia clogging his veins. It’s really nice.

Suddenly Soonyoung stops. He puts the same first piece of chicken back in the bucket and Jihoon also stops eating, curious about the unexpected silence.

“I missed you.” Soonyoung whispers, eyes boring into Jihoon’s. It makes the smaller squirm under their sincerity. He lowers his eyes, knowing he is not worth such emotion.

“I’m sorry.” He replies.

“It’s fine.” It’s a basic answer, but Jihoon knows that Soonyoung means it. He always does. “I know it’s selfish, but I’m glad you came last night. Now I have a reason to be around you again.”

“Soonyoung.” Jihoon warns, raising his head. Soonyoung’s eyes have regained their spark and Jihoon knows this is a battle not even worth starting.

“Say what you want, but you know that I can be a lot more stubborn than you if I want to. I’m not giving up on our friendship again. You have no idea how much I regret doing it back then.”

Jihoon wants to argue that it’s not Soonyoung’s fault. That Jihoon was the one who threw away their friendship like it was nothing, the one that wanted to erase everything from his past, including the blue haired male. Jihoon was the one that came to the conclusion that he doesn’t need humans, but is it this still available? Did last night prove him wrong? He knows that something changed drastically inside him, and he also knows the cause, but right now he ignores it. Digging for it will only bring back the pain from yesterday. The pain he feels throbbing at the back of his mind, waiting to be acknowledged so it can possess him fully. So instead he chooses to think of anything else.

“You forgot the coffee.” He announces, remembering their ritual every morning Jihoon wasted himself. Pills, food and coffee. Soonyoung gives him a sheepish smile before getting up and going back to the desk to retrieve two cups Jihoon didn’t notice until now.

“Thanks.” He murmurs when Soonyoung hands him one of them. It’s still hot and he can smell the caramel in it. Another thing Soonyoung never forgot. But when he takes a sip, he feels his stomach churn. It’s sweet, just like he likes it, but it makes him want to throw up. It reminds him of early mornings and laughs and cute cupcakes and sparkly big orbs and even sweeter small gestures. His left eye starts stinging and he rubs it nervously. He forces himself to swallow the coffee in his mouth.

“Is there something wrong?” Soonyoung’s voice asks from above him, but Jihoon keeps his eyes on the bed sheets.

“Too sweet.” He ghostly whispers. Everything was too sweet and it ended too bitter, he wants to add but refrains from doing so.

“Oh, you don’t drink it like that anymore?” the other boy wonders, not noticing the change. Jihoon just nods his head silently, trying to stop his tears from automatically forming.

“Do you want mine? Is black.”

Another cup appears in his vision and Jihoon takes it without a word, switching it with his. Soonyoung coffee is bitter, so much that it constricts his stomach’s walls, but it’s refreshing, washing away all the sweetness from the previous mouthful. Jihoon stares at the cup’s lid amazed. A hand starts petting his hair and he knows Soonyoung noticed. He is once again thankful for the lack of questions.

“Can I go with you?” Soonyoung asks for the third time while Jihoon bussies himself with gaining his stuff from around the room. He just received a message from the headmaster, calling him to his office asap. Jihoon guesses that this is about the email he received yesterday, but still doesn’t get it why he must go to the university. Couldn’t Mr Kim just give him a call like any normal person?

“No, you can’t.” he replies monotonously.

“But I want to see where you study!” Soonyoung whines, turning around in the desk chair to follow Jihoon’s track around the room.

“I’m not going to study. I’m going to the headmaster’s office.”

At this Soonyoung’s annoying whines stop. “Are you in trouble?”

Jihoon throws his bag on the bed and reaches for his shoes. “No. We need to discuss some things about a contest I’m taking part in.”

“Then I’ll wait you outside.” The puppy like boy jumps from the chair and follows Jihoon’s example of putting his shoes on. The smaller male sighs deeply.

“Soonyoung.” He warns, gaining the boy’s attention. “People at school don’t know me… as you do.”

This seems to finally wipe the grin of the other’s face, serious mood on.

“I know. Woozi, right?”

It makes Jihoon choke on his saliva, turning around so fast his head starts to ache again.

“H-how?” he sputters. Soonyoung gives him an uncharacteristically tight smile.

“You think I wouldn’t recognize your music?” he asks rhetorically. “I just thought you would want me to stay away, so I did.”

Jihoon watches him tie his shoelaces, skeptical about all of this. But this is Soonyoung, his old best friend. If he hadn’t succeeded in understanding him in high school, he won’t be able to do it now either.

“Okay, but you have to stay quiet.” He warns, opening the door. Soonyoung laughs as he follows him outside and Jihoon already regrets his decision.

The walk to the university is relatively silent, if you ignore Soonyoung’s unceasing chatter. Which is what Jihoon is doing. It’s late in the afternoon, and the boy wonders just how many hours he slept. But he has no idea when he went to sleep and he is not going to ask Soonyoung. He really doesn’t want to revive the subject of the last night.

“Ah, it’s been a while.” Soonyoung dreamy sighs when they enter the campus. Jihoon frowns and turns around.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, I used to study here.” Soonyoung replies, smiling sheepishly. The creases on Jihoon’s forehead deepen.

“I thought you wanted to see where I study.”

“Well, I hadn’t really visited the music production building. I've usually spent my time in the dance section.”

“I didn’t know you graduated here.” Jihoon whispers more to himself. It makes sense, this being the best art university in Seoul. Of course somebody with Soonyoung's passion and financial resources will opt for the best.

“Mmm, I graduated three years ago.” He explains. They enter the principal building and Soonyoung takes a look around, pointing at the changed pictures on the wall or the statue without head. He laughs, reminiscing how a kid broke its head when he was in the first year. Jihoon wouldn’t be surprised if he was the one who did it. The students they met on their way stare at them and Jihoon wonders if it’s just the usual stare because he swears they seem more judging than before. Is it because he is laughing? Is Soonyoung too loud?

When they reach the second floor somebody almost tops Jihoon over and he is a second away from kicking the man who lets out a loud squeak. Thankfully, he catches a glimpse of his face in time.

“Seungkwan.” He calls, voice betraying his annoyance. Seungkwan gives him an alarmed look, but Jihoon realizes quickly that it’s not caused by his glare. The boy is gasping for air and visibly trembling.

“Is something wrong?” he asks, hands coming up to support him by his shoulder. Seungkwan doesn’t give him an immediate answer, bending down to rest his hands on his knees and trying to take proper breaths. Jihoon can see Soonyoung frowning with the corner of his eye.

“H-hyung!” Seungkwan finally speaks, voice broken by gasps. “Why aren't you answering your phone?!”

Jihoon frowns, reaching for his jeans’ pocket. But the phone is not there and he doesn’t remember using it since yesterday.

“I have no idea where I’ve put it. Why?”

The look on Seungkwan’s eyes scares him. It reminds him of the two days ago when everyone knew about his mom except him. He hopes the history is not repeating because he doesn’t know how much more he can endure.

“You have to go home, hyung.” Seungkwan voice is firm this time, closer to an order than a suggestion. Jihoon’s face hardens.

“Why?” He is not the one asking, even if he thought it. Instead, he feels Soonyoung’s hand being placed on his shoulder. Seungkwan seems confused at the new face, but ignores it, focusing completely on Jihoon.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to be in public right now.” He states. The first thing Jihoon thinks is that the press found out about his real identity. He feels a shudder running down his spine under Seungkwan’s stare.

“The headmaster asked him to come.” Soonyoung speaks for him once again. Jihoon settles on studying Seungkwan face, searching for an answer. When the headmaster’s is brought up the boy’s face crisps.

“Damn it.” He whispers. Jihoon feels more confused than ever.

“What’s going on, Seungkwan?” he asks again, voice more demanding. The boy seems trapped between his options, but Jihoon squeezes his shoulder to gain his attention, eyes boring holes into the other’s.

“Your latest song, hyung.” He finally starts, voice a little shaken. “You were accused of plagiarising it.”

Oooookay... I didn't write an AN in a long time. Sorry for the late update guys :( University started this month and I'm really busy. I hope the chapter is worthy of your patience. Thank you for reading!!! Please comment