Woozi doesn’t know when he finally fell asleep, but he wakes up with the sun hitting his face. He should really buy some curtains. Normally, he will cover his eyes with a pillow and sleep some more, maybe until the sun goes down, but when he extends his hand in search of the said pillow he hits something hard… and warm. He withdraws his arm instantly, but it seems to be too late. 

“You woke up?” Seungcheol asks. Woozi digs his face in the pillow, hiding his grin. 
“You came back.” Even if his voice is muffled, his smile is still evident in it. Seungcheol only hums and then lets the silence fall between them. Jihoon can feel he happiness draining out of his body. Something is not right.  He sighs and turns to face the ceilling, finally opening his eyes. 

“Why?” he asks. Even if the sun is up, the light is not yet powerful, it is probably still early in the morning. He could check, but looking at the clock implies that he will also look at Seungcheol and right now he is scared to do so. 

“Because I wanted to know why you said that. What were you thinking when you said it. No lies this time.” 
Woozi almost flinches. For the first time since they’d met, Seungcheol’s voice is cold. ‘This time’. Does Seungcheol know that he has been lying all this time? How could he know though? 

“I wasn’t thinking of anything in particular.” He says, but the other doesn’t seem happy with the answer as he breathes out loudly. Jihoon gathers the courage to look at him with the corner of his eye. Seungcheol is not watching him, choosing to also frown at the ceiling. Although he is close, giving the small bed, he seems to be careful not to touch Woozi in any way. Even if he is just a few inches away, Jihoon can feel the wall he placed between them. And he hates it. He hates the fact that he is afraid to move his hand so he can touch Seungcheol, he hates that he is scared to even look directly at him.

“I was just content with how we are. Were.” He speaks. Taking a deep breath, he turns his head to fully face Seungcheol. He can’t deny the fact that it hurts when the other still doesn’t look at him. But he at least talks to him.
“Wouldn’t falling in love make it even better?” 
Jihoon sighs deeply. “It won’t.” He turns back to the ceiling. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t believe that love is such an easy thing.”
“What do you mean?” Seungcheol finally turns his head towards him.

“I just… don’t like love. I don’t think is something beautiful, I never did. I saw love in many forms and it was never pretty. Love changes you…” Jihoon breathes deeply, trying to find his words. “It makes you do things you wouldn’t normally do, makes you sacrifice things. It also makes you dependable, lonely and paranoid. Pathetic.” He finishes letting out a sigh and closes his eyes. He said more than he intended.

“Are you saying you won’t ever fall in love?” Seungcheol asks. His voice changes. It’s not as warm as it usually is, but it is definitely softer. Jihoon opens his eyes and turns around. Seungcheol is still frowning, but his eyes are now filed more with concern than with anger.
“No.” he answers watching as Seungcheol’s eyes grow bigger with hope. “I’m saying that I don’t want to fall in love. I think that it’s not our choice if we fall in love or not. I just want to avoid it.”

Seungcheol is the one that sighs his time. “I don’t know what I should do.” He confesses and Jihoon breaks the eye contact, eyes resting on Seungcheol’s shoulder. He’s going to miss his large shoulders.

“But I’m not giving up on you.” 
Surprised, Jihoon looks back. Seungcheol’s face is still full of confusion, but there’s also determination in his eyes and for a moment he lets himself hope that he won’t be lonely again. At least, not yet.

“I’m trying to understand you. I really do.” Seungcheol says and he finally touches Jihoon. The smaller didn’t know how much he wanted it until it happens. And when Seungcheol cups his face between his large palms, he almost cries out because he thought he’ll never get to feel Seungcheol’s hands again. Instead, he presses his cheek into it, closes his eyes and enjoys the warmth Seungcheol somehow always radiates.

“I’m trying to, but you have to try to understand me too.” Seungcheol continues, voice finally warm, as he gets close enough for Woozi to feel his breath in his hair. “You have to try and trust me.” Jihoon nods. Not only for the sake of ending an argument, but because he wants to. He wants to trust Seungcheol. 
“You have to start telling me what you like and what not, what you want.” Seungcheol ends and when Jihoon’s eyes open he’s met with the other’s big orbs. Seungcheol is so close. His eyes fall on the brunette’s plump lips… so close.  If Jihoon moves a little, just a tiny little bit, he could claim those beautiful lips with his. And he wants to. The thought that he could have loose the chance to ever kiss Seungcheol again scares him.

“I want you.” He whispers, eyes still on the other’s lips. No. “I need you.” He corrects himself as he leans closer. When they finally kiss, he feels Seungcheol’s smile. It sends a jolt of happiness through his spine and he wants to laugh out. Seungcheol is staying. Seungcheol won’t abandon him. A voice at the back of his head murmurs a small ‘yet. He won’t leave you yet.’ But right now he is too happy to let his pessimistic side ruin it.

When their lips part Seungcheol smiles that breath taking smile of his and Jihoon is tempted to kiss him again. He does, just a peck this time, but it is enough to make both of them smile even more. Seungcheol lets out an airy laugh as he hugs the smaller tightly.

Jihoon spends the next week in one the recording studios that their university owns. He finally finished writing the song and now all that is left is recording it. Thankfully, he knows a band that was willing to record the instrumental for him. He worked a few times with their leader and vocalist, Seokmin, and he knew that they are the best he can find. He could have done it alone, but playing and recording each instrument by himself would have taken a lot more time than he has. 

All that remains is for him to record the vocal part. And the backing vocals. And then combine everything, see if it matches and just then add his own touches. Mastering the song until anyone that would listen to it will realize that it’s a Woozi song. It’s, simply said, exhausting. But this is what Jihoon has chosen for his life and, in spite of how tired he is, he finds himself smiling at times, content with his own effort.

Seungcheol comes a few times a day to check on him. Knowing what a workaholic his boyfriend is, he always brings food and stays around until Woozi actually eats it. Jihoon finds it sweet, but he complains every time when the other stops him from working. So far he hasn’t shown the song to anyone and he wants to keep it that way until everything is finished. 

“Hyung, you should really take a break. Maybe go home and shower?” Chan argues. He and Seungkwan visit him on the fourth day along with Seungcheol. Jihoon just nods blankly as he stuffs his mouth with the chicken they bought. He sighs when his stomach stops making weird noises. Last night Seungcheol was busy and Jihoon was too caught up in his work to remember that he needs to eat. He can feel the hard stare his boyfriend fixes him with, but he smiles sheepishly, silently asking to be forgiven.

“I’ll go tonight.” He answers to Chan. The youngest gives him an incredulous look, clearly doubting him, but Jihoon is serious. He really needs a shower and new clothes if he wants to fully concentrate on his work.

“What are you guys up to these days?” he tries to change the subject as he bites from a chicken leg. It tastes so good he almost moans. Seungkwan throws him a dirty glare.
“We’re moving Chan’s things to his new place.” He answers as he extends his arm to take a piece of meat. Jihoon swats it away with an angry look and hissing a “mine”. He probably looked funny, his mouth full of chicken while gripping a full bucket of it, because Chan starts laughing hard.

“You look like Gollum, hyung.” He says between series of laughter. Seungkwan approves and even Seungcheol lets out a few chuckles. Woozi makes sure to glare at him. “Traitor.” The other only smiles back and ruffles Jihoon’s pink locks. 

“Anyway, is Chan moving already?” the shorter asks, turning to the youngest. Chan’s laugh dies, but his smile stays on his lips.
“Not really. I’m just moving some of my things.”
“What about your mother?” Jihoon shouldn’t have asked that, at least not in front of the others, but Chan’s situation seriously worries him. Seungkwan seems to know everything anyway, as for Seungcheol, he keeps quiet. Chan’s smile turns into a grimace.
“She’s… busy most of the time.” The way he avoids eye contact makes it obvious that there is more to it, but Jihoon will ask later about it.
“So you’re actually sneaking out your things.” Chan gives him a sheepish smile. Woozi sighs.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to run away from home?” Seungcheol is the one that asks, even if it’s the same thing Woozi has been thinking. It finally wipes Chan’s grin off his face.
“I’m not running away, hyung. I’m moving out. And no I’m not sure, but it’s my only solution at the moment.” The seriousness makes him look older than he actually is and that worries Woozi the most. He knows better that anyone how it is to be on your own at such a young age and he doesn’t want Chan to go through this.

“Don’t worry, hyung.” Seungkwan speaks up, tone also serious for once. “He is not doing this alone. He has all of us for help if he needs to. And that useless friend of his too.” He grumps at the end. It seems to lighten the spirit of the maknae. 
“That’s the nicest thing you said about him. I’m sure Hansol will be so happy when I’ll tell him.” Chan teases him. To Jihoon’s surprise, Seungkwan turns beet red even if he tries to mask it by throwing a chicken bone at the youngest. Woozi frowns. 

“When will I meet this Hansol?” he asks. Now that he let it out he notices how much he sounds like an overprotective mother. The others don’t seem to mind, though.
“Whenever you’ll get out of this place.” Chan answers looking around the studio. 
“Then it will have to wait a little more.” Jihoon sighs deeply, thoughts back to all the work that waits for him.

Seungcheol’s warm hand squeezes his shoulder and Woozi is so grateful. The small gesture is enough for him to keep going, knowing that somebody’s there to support him. He hasn’t felt this for such a long time, even since he was just a little child when his biological father was still alive and both his parents were there for him. He wonders if Seungcheol has any idea how much this means for him. Maybe one day he’ll be able to explain it to him.  

The first thing Woozi does when he finally finishes the song is text Seungcheol. It’s past 3am so he doesn’t expect any answer, but he had to share it with somebody. After he tosses his phone on the desk, he stays there, in that big chair that hugs his whole body, as he basks into the pure contentment he feels every time he finishes one song. For now, everything is still, like the world whole world froze to let him enjoy the utter silence. And after a long time he thinks he is completely happy. 

The door behind him opens abruptly and Jihoon almost falls from the chair when he spins around, but in the door is only Seungcheol. ‘Just Seungcheol’ he thinks and his smile enlarges so much that his eyes close.
“Let me listen to it.” The other breathes out. He must have come in a hurry, breath still ragged and dressed in his pajamas, but that only makes Woozi smile more. Letting out an airy chuckle, he turns toward the computer to press play as Seungcheol comes closer. 

For the whole 3 minutes and 40 seconds Seungcheol doesn’t say a world, face gathered in concentration. Jihoon knows that he is listening as a fellow artist, analyzing the song, looking for the smallest defect. At some point Jihoon raises himself from the chair and starts walking around the small room. His legs and hurt from all the sitting, but he couldn’t care less. He’s excited for Seungcheol’s opinion. And he is so damn happy. He looks at the clock again to make sure that it’s indeed almost 4 am. But Seungcheol still came. He feels so light, like he’s actually floating around. He wants to laugh. Jihoon is really trying.

Right when he thought he couldn’t be more ecstatic the song finishes and Seungcheol turns around and in a brisk moment he pins the smaller man on the wall, crashing their lips together. The surprise leaves Jihoon without air, but who needs air when Seungcheol breathes for him too? The kiss is nothing like the soft ones they shared so far. It’s powerful enough to make Jihoon’s legs give up, but Seungcheol’s arm around his waist stops him from falling. It doesn’t help with the sudden electric shock that arches the boy’s spine as Seungcheol’s lips move against his so slowly and passionately. Sighing, he deepens the kiss as he presses is body closer to the other’s. Seungcheol breaks the contact for a moment, giving them both time to breathe, but Jihoon doesn’t need it. He only needs Seungcheol. Whining softy he tugs at the other’s slightly wet hair until their lips touch again. 

Jihoon is really trying so hard not to fall. But right now he feels like somebody just kicked him off the cliff. As he feels the unknown abyss below him, he thinks that he couldn’t be happier than he is now, falling so hard for Seungcheol.  

“How’s Woozi?” Jihoon asks a few days later when he sits at a table with Joshua. They are in the university’s café again, enjoying the warm coffee. Outside, rain is pouring heavily, but both of them always liked this kind weather. ‘It keeps the people away’ Jihoon said two years ago and Jisoo agreed. Woozi can see the same long haired barista stealing glances their way, but his companion seems oblivious to it.

“He’s fine. Just as grumpy as before. I swear he hates me even more now.” Joshua slumps in his chair. 
“If he hated you he wouldn’t be in your house now.” Jihoon answers absently minded as he scans the coffee shop. It’s almost empty, just one more person beside him and Jisoo, but who’ll get out of the house in this rain, after all.

“You should visit us sometime.” The proposal is shy and Jihoon turns back to his friend. Joshua seems preoccupied with his cup of coffee.
“I will.” He answers, but he doesn’t know if he will really go. Yes, he misses the cat, but somehow he is still reluctant when it comes to Jisoo. Somehow, he was never able to get over the way Jisoo abandoned him two years ago. Joshua nods, probably understanding what he meant. 

“I’m glad you kept your promise.” He says next and Jihoon frowns. The other seems to notice his confusion. “You are famous now. You fulfilled your dream. I bet Jihoon is happy in heaven.”
Woozi clenches his teeth and tries to make the image of that hospital room go away. The smiling face of that kid still haunts him.

“Not yet.” He responds after a while. Joshua looks at him with interest. “I’ve just send a song to a contest. It’s the song I started writing together with Jihoon back then. If I win, then he will also be famous as he wanted to.” 

Jihoon recalls that morning when he showed the song he worked on the past months to the headmaster. The man wasn’t impressed, after all, he never is, but he said that Jihoon had chances to win. The smaller also insisted on crediting the other Jihoon, even if the headmaster told him that his points may drop because of it. 

“How’s called?” Jisoo asks, taking a sip of coffee. His eyes are trained on something behind Jihoon. It seems that he finally noticed the barista.
“Simple.” The pink haired boy answers. Jisoo smiles, but right now Jihoon doesn’t know if it’s directed to him or to the pretty barista. Though he does notice the phone number Joshua leaves on the table when they are preparing to exit.