Chanyeol

I didn’t really know what I was doing. But I was moving, hurrying after Baekhyun as he ran off. I saw him slip in to the public restroom on the ground floor of the hotel and took two seconds to decide if I should follow him or not. In the end, I found myself moving again.

Baekhyun

I felt ill. It was just all too much. Chanyeol’s hands on my body, the feeling in my body as we danced, the happiness and then… Mrs. Kim talking about our chemistry. Some people would simply have dismissed her but her words had struck something in me and I knew that she was telling the truth and that terrified me. I knew that Chanyeol and me apparently was meant for each other but it had never felt that real before then and now when it dawned on me it became more and more difficult to reject the other things that stood in my folder… things about my uality that I never had even thought about.

I had been brought up in the knowledge that I would marry a girl someday and hadn’t spent much thoughts on either dating or girls before since I knew that the government would provide someone for me. Had I thought it strange when everyone else had started to talk about how hot some girls were and I just hadn’t really put much thought in to it? Not really, I had just thought that since those girls hadn’t that they just hadn’t been my type.

It wasn’t that I never had been , I had. I had even had but I’d never gotten what all the fuzz was about. The only girl I’d ever gone out with to the extent of us having had been a sporty girl slightly taller than me, propped full with lean muscles and, now that I was thinking of it, kind of boyish in her looks. But I hadn’t thought my liking for her had been simply because she looked like a guy!

I splashed water in to my face, trying to clear my mind as I cooled down.

“Hey,” A deep voice said by the door to the bathroom and I turned in surprise to find Chanyeol there. “are you okay?”

“Oh, hi.” I said “Yeah, yeah. Just fine.” I tried to wave him off but instead of leaving, he only came closer to me.

“You don’t look fine.” He said and put a hand to the top of my back, looking concerned.

“I am.” I said, shrugging his hand off. Was me finding this rich and famous playboy a bit attractive making me being gay? I tried to look at him to try and picture us as a couple, just to see if the thought would disgust me. If it did, then I couldn’t be gay!

I thought about him kissing me, pushing me up against the wall in this very bathroom, his hands traveling over my body- I shivered. What was even more concerning was that the shiver hadn’t come from displeasure at the thought. But this had only been a quick thought on my part. Maybe I had just shivered since I liked kissing and not because I liked kissing guys. Suddenly an idea hit me.

“Can you kiss me?” I asked, feeling dumb and desperate. My thoughts may not be enough to confirm if I would like it if a guy kissed. I needed to test it. I just needed to know. Maybe I had kind of liked the idea of it in my head but if he really did such a thing, I would probably hate it! Right?

“W-what?” Chanyeol said, taking a step back in shock.

Chanyeol

“It’s a test.” Baekhyun continued “I need you to kiss me so that I will know if I am gay.”

“I’m pretty certain there are other methods.” I said, feeling nervous all of a sudden in his proximity. Kiss him? Was he out of his mind! I already had weird feelings about touching him, did I really need to make it worse by kissing him, too?

“Maybe…” Baekhyun said, sighing. He was quiet for a while and then, suddenly, I could see tears forming in his eyes.

“Hey!” I said, coming closer yet again as his tears fell. “Don’t cry!”

“What do you care?” Baekhyun said “I’m sure you’re used to seeing people cry.”

“Why would I be used to seeing people cry?” I asked, not getting where this was coming from.

“I mean,” Baekhyun said “aren’t you kind of a heart breaker? Aren’t all players used to seeing people cry?”

“Heart breaker?” I asked “Player?”

“Yeah?” Baekhyun said, as if there was nothing weird about it at all. He swept his tears away with the back of his hand but new one was already forming.

“I’m no player, nor a heartbreaker.” I said, not getting where he’d gotten all that from.

“You aren’t?” Baekhyun asked as he let his tears fall.

“No.” I said, and then “So, can you please stop crying? I’m really not used to people who cry.” I instinctively reached out to his and let my fingers catch some of his tears.

“Sorry.” Baekhyun said “I just…” he took a deep breath “I don’t even know why I’m crying. I guess there’s too much inside my head right now and I don’t know how to sort it all. What if I really am gay, Chanyeol? Then I will never be able to marry a girl, not even when we leave this place.”

“It’s not really that bad to be gay, you know.” Chanyeol said “Guys are easier to cope with than girls, at least in my opinion.”

“You’ve dated guys?” He asked, looking surprised.

“No!” I hurriedly said but then realized that it must have come off as if I could never do such a thing and I didn’t want him to feel even worse “I mean, “ I continued “That it has always been easier to read guys, understand guys, relate to them, since we are all the same gender.”

“And you won’t have to deal with PMS and such.” Baekhyun said and I let a small laugh out.

“Right.” I said, laughing. A small smile grew on Baekhyun’s lips. I dried away the last of his tears. “So don’t freak out too much. I know that you may never have thought about not being straight before, and neither have I if I’m being honest, but you don’t have to force anything either. If you come out of this and never finds a guy attractive, then just go back to dating girls.”

Baekhyun

But that was the problem, wasn’t it? I already did find guys attractive, guys such as himself. And if the only girl I’d ever dated looked and acted more like a boy than I had at that time, wasn’t it as if I’d never really gone out with a girl to begin with? Maybe she’d always been more guy than girl to me? Would I go back home and date girls who acted like boys for the rest of my life after this? Or would I find that what I really needed was someone like Chanyeol, large, manly, strong and definitely male.

“It’s your life, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol said “Don’t let a small piece of paper define who you’re to fall in love with.”

I nodded, still not quite okay with the thought but at least not crying any more.

That’s when I noticed how close we were, that Chanyeol had not taken his hand back after wiping away my tears and instead let it fall to my shoulder and later have his forearm at my shoulder with his hand hanging freely behind my back.

He were looking at me, smiling encouragingly, having his face too close to my face, closer than it should be if we were to act just like two regular guys.

I felt a small jolt in my stomach and backed up a step, letting Chanyeol’s arm fall off me.

“Thanks.” I said “I will remember that.”

Chanyeol smiled and opened his mouth slightly as if he were to say something, but then, the bathroom door opened and two guys that belonged to our group of newly matched walked in, chatting as they went for the urinals. I decided I didn’t really want to stay inside the bathroom as it filled with the smell of pee so I turned to walk, Chanyeol following along without opening his mouth again.

Chanyeol

I was kind of glad those guys had entered. I had just been about to say something really inappropriate to our relationship and I was happy I hadn’t. It wouldn’t have brought the message I had intended.

“And if you never fall in love, then you and me can always at least try this whole ‘matching’ thing in the future!” I would have said, thank god I hadn't.

Nothing good would have come from that! I honestly wasn’t really sure I meant it or if it had simply been something to say to console him. ‘If (Which may have sounded more as a When) you don’t find love, let’s spend our loneliness together!’

That would sure cheer him up!

Baekhyun

Lunch was spent with Hyolyn and Ken, Chanyeol and me being talked to by several people during the lunch break, many asking us if we could teach them some of the dance maneuvers we’d showed during practice. We were grateful but politely declined, me nor Chanyeol really feeling up for dancing more.

After lunch, we were left to do what we pleased and Chanyeol decided to go to the beach while I wanted to relax in the hotel spa. So we split, Ken and Hyolyn feeling more up for the spa after all the dancing. Chanyeol didn’t mind being alone at the beach and told us to go ahead.

Most people had chosen the beach over the spa or any other activities and there were maybe three or four more couples at the relaxing rooms.

I sank right in to a warm Jacuzzi, letting all of my worries float away in to the warm water. Ken and Hyolyn had gone off for a couples massage and I was actually quite happy with the alone-time. It gave me more time to think while still trying my best to keep relaxed.

So I went back to what I had been pondering before Chanyeol met me in the bathroom. I tried to think back to my life and figure out if I had ever found any guy attractive.

Instantly, several faces and bodies jumped up in my head and after that, I tried to do the same with girls and the only face I could really conjure, without coloring my response with what others had told me how attractive women looked, was my ex’s. Sure, I could tell if they were beautiful and how some people could find them attractive, I personally just didn’t.

Did this make me gay? Had gender and gender stereotypes really played such a big part of my life without me even noticing?
 

If I were gay, how could I explain my ex girlfriend if that was the case? Was it normal for gay people not to realize that they’re gay for years? Was their relationships basing itself on norms of society more than actual ual love? I realized that I could probably find out with a few google searches.

But that would have to wait until after my time at the spa. I couldn’t have brought my phone in here weather I liked it or not, it would instantly get destroyed by the extremely humid air and water in every direction. For now, I would let it go and relax.

Chanyeol

The beach was a wonderful place and many other newly matched had taken to it as well. I would guess that at least half of them had come here and I saw, not really to my surprise, that none of them had gone stag like me.

I guessed most newly matched wanted to do everything together and while I wouldn’t have minded Baekhyun’s company I was okay with us going separate ways, we would do that eventually anyway.

“Hi.” I turned from my spot in the sun to find the girl who’d talk before the matching and then again talked to me and Baekhyun in the bus. She was the one with the important dad who’d given her inside information about the matching before she’d arrived.

“Hello.” I said, not really feeling up to talking to her. She seemed kind of… snobby.

“I don’t think I ever introduced myself to you.” The girl said, her future husband standing a few decimeters behind her. It was obvious who rule their relationship. “I’m Eunji.” The girl said, reaching over to shake my hand.

“Chanyeol.” I answered her, shaking her hand.

“Oh I know.” She said “Son of Park Beom-Seok, right?”

“That’s my father alright.” I said.

“He was on the news this morning.” Eunji said “Talking about you and your boyfriend, Baekhyun is it?”

“He’s not my boyfriend, but yes, that’s his name.” I said but Eunji seemed to not hear that first part at all.

“You two really look wonderful together, I must say.” She said, smiling a pleasant smile. I remembered that smile from somewhere but I didn’t think much of it.

“Umh… thanks?”

Eunji’s matched partner cleared his throat behind us and Eunji looked surprise to realize he’d been there.

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry!” She said to no one in particular “I’ve forgotten to introduce my matched partner! This is Inguk, Seo Inguk, maybe your parents know each other? His mother is a director which has worked with your father on several occasions.”

“Hi.” I said, shaking his hand. I didn’t really know who his mother was but I was sure my dad would know in an instance. He was great with names.

“Pleasure.” Inguk said, thought he seemed rather not pleased to shake my hand.

“Where’s yours?” Eunji asked, looking around me in search.

“Mine…?” At first I didn’t understand but then it hit me “Ah, you mean Baekhyun?”

“Yes, such a lovely name.” Eunji said.

“He’s at the spa.” I said which made Eunji frown.

“At the spa?” She asked “And you’re… here?”

“Well, yes.” I said, thinking that it was pretty obvious.

“But…” Eunji said, looking uncomfortable “Why? Don’t you want to spend time together?”

“It’s fine.” I said “He just wanted to go to the spa and I wanted to be here at the beach, so we went separate ways.”

“Okay?” Eunji said, looking a bit weirded out by such a decision “Anyway!” She said, shaking it off “I was wondering if you and your boyfriend would like to join me an Inguk for dinner?” I didn’t bother correcting her again.

“Oh, umh…” I didn’t really know what to reply. The truth was, I didn’t really feel like eating with her. She just didn’t seem like the type of person I’d want to be friends with. “We kind of promised to eat with our friends.” I said, even though we had done no such thing.

“Bring them, too!” Eunji said “The more the merrier!” I couldn’t really wriggle myself out of this situation, if I came up with yet another excuse she’d known I was just making things up and I didn’t want to be rude.

“Okay then.” I said and faked a smile.

Baekhyun

After being at the spa for a couple of hours, I went back up to mine and Chanyeol’s room, finding the bathroom occupied and the water running.

It soon turned off and I just had time to change my clothes before the door opened and Chanyeol came out in to the room.

“Oh, hi.” He said, smiling at me “I didn’t hear you coming in.”

“Had a nice afternoon?” I asked, returning his smile. No need to be unfriendly.

“Yes.”Chanyeol said, “and you?”

“Wonderful.” I answered, feeling so relaxed after being massaged and having spent so much time with steam and warm water.

“I actually got to try surfing.” Chanyeol said “I wasn’t any good at it, but it was fun anyway.”

“That sounds like fun.” I said and told him about my time at the spa. “I really hope for dinner to be delicious tonight, just to top this evening off.”

“About dinner…” Chanyeol said “Do you remember the girl who spoke to us on the bus here?” I had to think for a while but after some time, I recalled her to my memory.

“Yeah, she with the information on me and you?” I asked and Chanyeol nodded.

“Her name is Eunji and she asked us to join her and her partner for dinner.” Chanyeol said, and then hurriedly added “I told her that we were going to eat with Ken and Hyolyn but she invited them too. But if you don’t want to, that’s fine.”

“No, it’s okay.” I said “It’s fun to get to know more people.” Chanyeol looked a bit disappointed at that and I couldn’t really tell why. Though I didn’t ask any further.

Dinner was held in the same hall as it had the previous night and me and Chanyeol met up with Ken and Hyolyn before heading to Eunji’s table. She and her partner introduced themselves to me, Ken and Hyolyn before we all seated our self.

“I heard you three were at the spa today.” Eunji said and thus the small talk began. I realized pretty quickly why Chanyeol had seemed to want me to decline dining with them. Eunji really seemed like some spoiled rich girl. She were going on and on about how she didn’t like these types of hotels and even called them shabby. I was pretty privileged myself and even I didn’t think this place was shabby. She also seemed like a drunk, ordering in champagne bottle after champagne bottle, ordering us all to drink with her as if she was some kind of king who had the right to do so.

Nonetheless, I drank and was pretty drunk at the end of the night. Chanyeol seemed to have been better at taking the alcohol and didn’t even seem drunk. He was the one who excused us, noticing my drunkenness before it got out of control. Eunji didn’t even seemed faced with the alcohol and we left her with our friends, her partner looking on and not talking much.

“Oh God am I glad you’re drunk.” Chanyeol said “Perfect excuse to get us out of there.”

“I feel sorry for Ken and Hyolyn, though.” I giggled, feeling like I needed to giggle at everything. I giggled at the sound of the elevator dinning and I couldn’t help myself from laughing when Chanyeol led me inside like I was some kind of little kid.

“Now I know that you’re a pretty light drinker.” He said “Could be useful!”

“Useful?” I asked, not really getting what he was saying.

“Yeah, like… if we’d ever find ourselves in this situation again. I know how to get out. Just give you a couple of glasses of alcohol!”

“But Chanyeol~” I sang, and then laughed “We won’t do this again, remember? After our time here, we won’t eveeer see each other again!”

Chanyeol

“Maybe.” I said, holding Baekhyun up as the elevator stopped at our floor. My thoughts were a little jumbled but other than that, the alcohol hadn’t really affected me much. I was good with alcohol, had inherited it from my father.

“But what if we decide to continue being friends after this? And we go to parties together? I could use you for an excuse anytime!” I said.

“Sillyyy!” Baekhyun laughed, seeming more like a little boy than a twenty year old “People would just talk talk talk if they saw you bring me home after every party!” He stopped me as we walked through the corridor to our room and leaned in to my ear.

“’I wonder what they do when they get home’,” he whispered in to my ear, and then leaned back a bit to look at my stunned face “They will all wonder that! You know it and I know it!” Then he laughed again. “Oh well, people will say that about me with any friend, anyway! Since apparently, I’m gaaaay!” That last part, he basically shouted.

“Shh, Baekhyun.” I said “People may be sleeping.”

“No, you’re wrong!” Baekhyun said, his breath heavy and I continued to pull him along with me to our door “People don’t sleep in their rooms when they’re in love.” He said and then giggled before continuing. In a low voice, he whispered in to my ear again “They , Chanyeol!” And then he broke out in to hysteric laughter and I hurried to find my key and get us both inside the room before we seriously disturbed someone.

I couldn’t really help myself from thinking that Baekhyun was actually a pretty cute drunk. He was the type of drunk that became blunt and that you really needed to take care of so  nothing bad happened to them. Feeling like someone needed my care kind of was a turn on for me, but I tried to ignore such thoughts right now. I didn’t need another incident like this morning where I’d so desperately wanted him to touch me.

I threw Baekhyun down on the bed and began untying his shoes for him since he was still in a laughing fit.

“Chanyeol!” Baekhyun said, suddenly sitting up from the bed as I pulled off his last shoe.

“Yeah?” I asked, standing up and throwing his shoes in to the hall.

“Will no one ever want to have with me?” He asked, looking a bit stricken “I mean, if I don’t have you, who are my match, maybe no one else will feel like they can have with me? Maybe they’ll think I’m already taken!”

I could tell this fact kind of upset him so I hurriedly tried to make him feel better.

“No, absolutely not!” I said, sitting down next to him on the bed “I’m sure you will have lots of with lots of different people!” I knew that if I hadn’t had that champagne, I would be much more embarrassed to say that word than I was now.

“But maybe no one will find me attractive!” Baekhyun said, looking tearful.

“Of course they will!” I countered.

“But today when I asked you to kiss me, you refused!” Baekhyun said “And if the one I’m meant to be with doesn’t want to kiss me, then nobody will!” My heart jumped at the ‘meant to be’-part. It was something different to hear it from his mouth than in my own head. But I answered him as if I had felt nothing.

“Oh, Baekhyun.” I said as he let a few tears fall. I wiped them away for him, the second time today. Was he usually crying this much? “I didn’t kiss you because we agreed on not getting involved with each other, not because I don’t find you attractive!”

“So you do find me attractive?” he asked, looking hopeful. No more tears fell, and that was something to feel joyful for.

“Of course!” I insisted, wanting to make him feel better. Though I wasn’t lying. “Of course I do! As you said, we… are meant to be together and we wouldn’t have been matched if we wouldn’t feel attracted to each other.” The truth of my words struck me hard. I hadn’t really been wanting to think much about it but I really did find him attractive.

“So it’s not strange that I find you attractive, too?” Baekhyun asked and at this, my heart jolted again. I realized suddenly how close we were sitting, two people who obviously was attracted to each other, who was meant to be together, who, if they’d want to, could blame anything on alcohol the next morning. It would be so easy to just lean in to him and kiss him, and I felt my body beginning to move without me being too conscious of it. Maybe the alcohol had affected me more than I’d thought.

With a jolt, I made my body stop and let my hands drop from his face. I was horrified at what I had just almost done. There was no undoing such a thing.

“No, it’s not strange that you find me attractive, too” I said “But let’s get to sleep now and stop talking about this.” I wanted to avoid any accidents that may happen if we didn’t, we didn’t need that in our lives.

“Are you embarrasseeeeeed?” Baekhyun giggled and when I began to protest he threw himself over me, pushing me down to the bed “You’re blushing!” he exclaimed and I couldn’t deny that.

“So what?” I asked, feeling my face burn. He was so close, his eyes sparkling as he looked at me. He was scanning my face and I knew that if I didn’t do anything, he would be the one who’d do something stupid. I put my hand up to his face and pushed him off me with the help of the other to his chest.

 “You’re drunk, come on, let’s go and brush our teeth.” Baekhyun giggled but let me get up and bring him over to the bathroom. I handed him his toothbrush with the toothpaste and obediently, he began brushing his teeth.

I was relieved when he finally fell asleep in our bed ten minutes later, my pulse still fast in my chest. He had thankfully undressed on his own and put on his pajamas when I told him to. At first, he’d insisted on sleeping but that would never happen. I really hoped he wouldn’t remember any of this tomorrow. I desperately wished I wouldn’t either. 





A/N 
Hi guys! Long time no see! I don't have any internet at my house so I'm posting this chapter thanks to my phone's internet, lol. SORRY to Eunji in this chapter! I adore her and I know she's really nothing like this IRL but I needed a name and hers popped up in my head! (And hehe... small Reply 1997 tribute with her match!) 

Anyway, hope you liked the chapter, have a nice day/evening! BYEE!