Baekhyun

In my dreams, I were back at the matching. The seconds were ticking down until I met my bride and when it reached zero, there she was. Beautiful just as I’d always imagined her. She was smiling at me, reaching out her hands for me and I hurried to reach her, grasping for her hands, her arms, hugging her close to me as if I was afraid she was going to disappeared just a second later. I hadn’t really been wrong in my worries because suddenly, the world began to fade, and the bride with it.

“No, wait!” I exclaimed as my grip on her turned in to something more solid, something more real, something speaking my name.

“Baekhyun!” A voice exclaimed and I opened my eyes to find none other than Chanyeol there, looking a bit breathless.

“My dream~” I whimpered, confused in my awakening. “Why did you make me wake?” I asked Chanyeol who had robbed me of my few moments of bliss.

“Well, I wouldn’t have if you hadn’t clamored yourself on to me so tightly.” He said and at first I didn’t understand what he meant but then I realized that I was holding him close, hugging him for dear life. I understood pretty quickly that I must have been grasping for him in reality as I had for my bride when I’d been dreaming. That also meant that when I had started to awake, I had just hugged closer on to him in my need to keep the bride with me.

Quickly, as if he was as hot as a steel iron, I released him.

“S-sorry!” I stammered, turning beet red “I just had a dream and I must have moved my body non-voluntary!”

“It’s fine.” Chanyeol said “I just couldn’t breathe for a few moments.”

“Still, I’m sorry.” I said and with a quick look to the clock, I saw that we still had time to sleep before going down for breakfast.

“What did you dream anyway?” Chanyeol asked but by that time, the dream had already escaped my memory, much like dreams did after you’d awoken.

“I can’t remember.” I said sleepily before falling back to sleep for an hour or two longer.

Chanyeol

I couldn’t fall back to sleep.

Baekhyun so easily just closed his eyes and went back to sleep like it was nothing. Me on the other hand couldn’t shake the fact that while my breath had escaped me at his tight embrace, it hadn’t solely been because of him holding me so tightly.

I don’t know what it was, but as soon as he’d touched me, I had started to stir awake, feeling more safe than ever as his hands awoke me. I had still been too sleepy to really register anything and had, without thinking, crawled closer to him, feeling at ease the closer we got.

It wasn’t until I really started getting to it that I’d realized what I was doing and how his closeness suddenly made my heart jump. It wasn’t the kind of jumping that it did when you were afraid, but something I recognized from something completely opposite fear.

A part of me had wanted to just let Baekhyun sleep, to not disturb him even though my own heart was giving out. I couldn’t even explain it rationally, which only made the experience even stranger. It was as if my body reacted long before my mind could even wrap itself around the whole thing.

Usually, my body never reacted like this when a stranger touched me, but Baekhyun was something completely different. I couldn’t help wonder if this was why we’d been matched?

Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. My heartbeat, my shallow breaths, the revelation in my mind. I had needed to wake him up. And woke him up I had.

The only problem now, when Baekhyun had rolled over and gone back to sleep, was that I couldn’t shake it off me. My heart still was beating way too fast, I still felt like it was hard to breath, I still couldn’t wrap my mind about my own thoughts. And probably worst of all, I had to force myself to stay in my place on my side of the bed. Because even though I had been perfectly fine sleeping before Baekhyun had clamored on to me, I couldn’t recreate that calm. All I wanted was to go back in time and force myself not to wake him up. I actually wanted him to hold me. I wanted him to need me in the same way as my body now yearned for his closeness again.

I stood up from the bed, hurrying off to the bathroom to take a cold shower. I needed to shake these stupid, almost primal, feelings off. I didn’t want them, I didn’t need them and I definitely couldn’t even allow myself to feel them to begin with. We had decided to never see each other again once the Bonding was over, but now a fire had started under my skin and it was spreading throughout my whole body, trying to infiltrate my mind.

The most stupid thing out of all of these was the fact that it hadn’t even been such big of a deal. It hadn’t been the first time we’d touched, not even the first time Baekhyun had done something unconsciously. Why did my body react as it had? I couldn’t understand it, I wasn’t usually the kind of guy who acted like this. Was this special for people who got matched? Was that the reason why I’d never experienced anything like it before?

I stayed in the shower long enough for my toes and fingers to feel numb from the cold water, but still my body felt weird. It was almost as if my body wasn’t my own and someone else had taken control and was pushing buttons inside of me that made me feel all weird.

I turned off the water to hear Baekhyun knock at the bathroom door. It made me wonder how long I’d been in here.

“Hey, I need to use the bathroom before we head down!” Baekhyun said from outside the door, obviously oblivious to what he’d caused in me.

My voice felt false when I answered him.

“Sure!” I said, trying my best to sound like my usual self and not a guy who’d just been through something he couldn’t even try to begin and describe. “I’m almost done!” I finished before grabbing hold of a towel.

I quickly tried to dry myself off and tied the towel securely around my waist before I took the courage to open the door for Baekhyun.

I had been expecting to find the feelings I’d felt when we’d been in bed together to return once I saw him, fearing it even. But I was relieved to find that my cold shower may have worked. Nothing inside me seemed to be screaming at me to embrace him, nothing seemed to be off at all. For a moment, I wondered if it had all just been a dream, but I knew that it hadn’t. But if I just acted as if nothing had happened, then maybe we both could ignore it and pretend nothing ever occurred.  

“Sorry for taking so long.” I said apologetically before letting Baekhyun in to the bathroom.

“N-no worries.” He said, and then, as if only to make things worse, he had to bring up what had happened earlier. I guessed we wouldn’t just forget all about it after all.

“Sorry about me suddenly attacking you.” He said, as if he was the one who should apologize. I felt like it was me who’d needed to apologize since I’d been the one breaking our promise of leaving this as distant acquaintances.

“It’s cool.” I said “Are you usually moving that much in your sleep?”

“Well…” Baekhyun said “I do sleep talk sometimes, and also move around like I did tonight, but it doesn’t happen often.”

“Good to hear.” I said, hearing my voice breaking from my nerves. I coughed and then excused myself so that I could get dressed. I didn’t dare to stay in the bathroom with him for any longer, afraid that what had just happened inside of me would shine through and I’d been left to try and explain something I couldn’t even understand myself.

Baekhyun

I was still a bit embarrassed about my behavior early that morning. Chanyeol hadn’t seemed to mind more than necessary which made me feel a bit more at ease. Maybe it would be better if I just didn’t bring it up again since Chanyeol had said that it was fine, it was better to just put it behind us like it had never happened.

I was ready for breakfast shortly after Chanyeol had left the bathroom and we headed down to the ground floor together, meeting up with Ken and Hyolyn.

“Slept well?” I asked them and when they both blushed in unison, I was pretty sure there’d been more than just sleeping between the two of them last night.

“Yeah.” Ken said, smiling shyly at Hyolyn “It was amazing.” She giggled before remembering that me and Chanyeol was there.

“How about you guys?” She asked “Did everything sort itself out with your room?”

“Not really.” I said “G offered us a small room meant for the hotel staff but we decided it would be better if we’d just stay up in our more luxurious room.”

“So… were you able to sleep anyway?” Ken asked and I ignored the underlying message in his question, and nodded. He was probably really asking if we’d also had something… romantic happen to us last night. I was about to mention my embarrassing actions just to fill the quiet, but decided against it with a glance to Chanyeol who just smiled at Ken and Hyolyn. I didn’t feel like bringing it up again since he obviously didn’t either.

“We slept just fine.” Chanyeol said “the beds here really are soft.”

“Isn’t they lovely?” Hyolyn said and then the two of them began talking about beds as if it was their one and only interest. Me and Ken just looked on in astonishment. It was strange that people even had real opinions like they had about such things as ‘the golden ratio of beds’. I had to ask him about it as we went to secure seats as Ken and Hyolyn grabbed their breakfast.

“Are you like… interested in beds or something?” I asked and at my words, Chanyeol let out a laugh so beautiful it made my body feel like it had just ignited.

“Not beds specifically.” Chanyeol said, the laugh still in his throat, coloring his voice and making it in to something much more melodic than I’d heard it previously. “I just love interior design, and beds happen to be a part of that.”

“Interior design?” I asked “Really?”

“Yeah…” Chanyeol said, looking a bit embarrassed, scratching the back of his head as we sat down by a four-man table in the corner of the quickly filling dining hall. “It may be a bit girly, but I still like it.”

“Girly?” I asked “I think it’s cool!”

“I’m the kind of guy who’d really make a perfect stay-at-home dad.” Chanyeol laughed, the melodic laugh of his putting me under a trance “I love to decorate a home and also have a fondness for cooking.”

“Cooking too?” I asked “Wow, wouldn’t you make the perfect wife?” I laughed and he laughed as well. But then we fell quiet as we processed what I had been saying and how it kind of sounded like I had called him my perfect wife, or husband since he was no girl.

“Oh, nice spot!” Hyolyn said as she and Ken sat down opposite us, pulling me and Chanyeol out of our awkwardness.

“We’ll go and get our breakfast.” I said as me and Chanyeol rose in unison, almost knocking in to each other as we’d both tried to walk out to the side facing each other as we sat next to each other.

Awkwardly, I stepped to the left to get out of the situation but Chanyeol did the same which just made us end up opposite each other again, but just a slight way off the table.

Chanyeol put his hands to my shoulders and held me still as he stepped one small more step to the left, turning, and making us stand next to each other.

“S-sorry.” I mumbled, feeling myself already having gone red.

“Come on.” Chanyeol said, urging me to go and fetch some breakfast, avoiding to even mention our small awkward little dance. Oh, if I’d only known how real dancing with him could be.

Chanyeol

After breakfast, we all were expected to meet in the large assembly room, roughly the size of a football field, only much more decorated with beautiful wall paintings and large roof windows.

An elegant woman was standing next to G up on a small stage at the end of the room. She wore a beautiful long dark dress, her hair put up as if she was about to head out for prom. She couldn’t be more than thirty and I wondered what we all had been brought here for. I had been looking forward to a day out on the beach, but the people who’d organized the Bonding seemed to think that we needed some activities to do at least sometimes.

“Good morning.” G said “I hope all of you lovey-dovey matched have had a wonderful first night together.” A few laughs escaped at that but G continued on anyway “Let me introduce the lovely Mrs. Kim to you all, she’s been brought here to give you all a lesson in something that will surely get relevant for you once your wedding days arrive.”

An excited murmur arouse at that and I realized with a small horror what would come next.

“You may not be aware,” Mrs. Kim said “but on your wedding day, all of you will be expected to dance.”

“Oh no…” I said as I felt Baekhyun freeze up next to me.

“Mrs. Kim has not only taught others newly-matched like you,” G continued “But has also taught many elites of our society how to look like true ladies and gentlemen.”

“I will teach you both the original steps to the waltz as well as a few tricks as to make you look like a true royal couple.” Mrs. Kim said “And also, to make you be the center of attention.”

Excited voices spread out throughout the matched but I felt more or less more likely to just vaporize in to thin air. It wasn’t that I was a bad dancer, my dad had made sure of that, and neither was it the fact that I’d have to dance with a boy. I’d taught some of my guy friends to dance as a favor and that had been no problem at all. It was simply the fact that I would dance with Baekhyun. I knew how intimate dancing could get and while I usually didn’t mind, the events of the morning completely threw everything else off.

I could still not shake off the feeling of Baekhyun’s soft body wrapped around mine, still couldn’t forget how my own body had wanted him to stay tangled up with me for much longer than would seem proper.

“Please,” Mrs. Kim said “all women, follow my lead.” And she put herself in to a simple, yet elegant, position. The women around us complied. “And men, follow Mr. G as he will show you how to put yourself.  

“Just G, Mrs. Kim.” G said before he took the basic position of the waltz, holding on to her waist with one hand and taking his other to hold her hand gently. She instantly put her free hand on his shoulder. Around us, all men followed along and all females followed Mrs. Kim in the last step. But me and Baekhyun just turned to each other, unable to know what to do. Because no matter how you’d look at it, none of us were female.

G seemed to notice our discomfort because he quickly addressed us.

“Positions, boys.” He said, looking straight at us. Everyone else turned to look at us and I instantly felt uncomfortable.

“What position?” Baekhyun asked, apparently not faced with all eyes on us.

“Since you are the shortest, Mr. Byun, I would expect you to take on the women’s stance, since it will simplify the hand positions.”

“Right.” Mrs. Kim said as she pulled all eyes back to her, starting to explain how and why you were to hold on to your partner as you did. Meanwhile, me and Baekhyun awkwardly put our self in to the same position as everyone else. I tried to touch him as lightly as possible, barely holding on to his waist while our hands just lightly brushed up against each other.

Mrs. Kim continued to explain how you were supposed to move your feet and demonstrated for a few times before urging all of us to try. She left her position up on the stage to come down and help some of us to perfect the simplest of steps.

Me and Baekhyun did fairly well as we tried the steps but it was pretty hard to dance with someone you barely touched since it was almost impossible to make him know how I’d like us to move. I had no problems with the steps, I knew waltz well, and it almost hurt me to know that I was holding on to him the wrong way. My dad would be ashamed, though he may have been ashamed even if I had had the proper stance, all because of who my dance partner was.

When Mrs. Kim reach us she went up with no hesitation and grabbed hold of our hands, clasping them closer together. She then proceeded to tighten Baekhyun’s grip on my shoulder and didn’t utter a sound as she made me hold on to his waist tighter.

“You can’t be afraid of your dance partner.” She said to us “Take a step closer to each other, you will not hurt yourself just because you will touch your partner some more.” We obliged as my pulse went up. I tried to focus on our feet and not on the closeness of our bodies, the grip I held Baekhyun close to me, feeling his breath on my face.

“I will put on some music and count you all down.” Mrs. Kim announced and as soon as the music began, I felt even more embarrassed and uncertain. It was a song much more sensual than I had ever believed a waltz would be and when Mrs. Kim told us all to try and look up at our partners instead of our feet, I almost felt faint.

Baekhyun looked at me with so much concentration that it fueled me to try and get more serious, too. He was trying his hardest to learn while I was too distracted by our bodies to register the fact that he may actually want to learn this. He may never dance as a girl again, but there really wasn’t much difference so he could definitely use this in the future with any girl he’d ask out. The thought of that somehow made me feel… strangely sick. The least I could do was to be serious for him, to be the best dance partner he’d ever have and show him how you truly danced.

Baekhyun

To say it was a bit strange to dance with a man was an understatement. I had never thought I’d been dancing the waltz for my first time with a guy, and also be forced to dance as the girl! I could’ve let it overwhelm me with embarrassment but I tried my hardest to seem like I didn’t care. It would actually be useful to know how to dance so I tried focusing on the steps and not on Chanyeol looking down at me, looking much cooler than I’d thought it possible in such an embarrassing situation.

At first, he’d been so gentle in touching me and I wondered if it had been because of him feeling reluctant do dance with me or if he simply wanted to show some respect to me. But as soon as Mrs. Kim had left us with her tips, he suddenly seemed to change. He held on to me properly and actually seemed to care about the steps, making our practice much smoother.

Once the music had started and I had focused on my steps for a while, I felt sure enough of myself to let my eyes leave my feet and instead look at Chanyeol. I focused on his eyes, listening to Mrs. Kim’s advice and, as if a magic spell had fallen upon us, my whole stance changed once my eyes met his. It was as if suddenly, there weren’t a crowd of people around us also dancing. It was as if we had suddenly floated in to our own world where his gaze strengthened me and made my body move smoother. His hand on my waist became more demanding, steering me more freely than it had ever done before, and I let it. I fell in to the rhythm of his steps and it was as if we’d gone from two awkward guys to a whirlwind of perfect formation, working together across the dance floor. It hit me that Chanyeol must definitely have danced before because no one could be this comfortable in his own skin during a waltz if he hadn’t practiced before.

“Okay!” Mrs. Kim said after a while, making my head snap in her direction. She turned the music down so that we could all hear her  “Please feel free to experiment with your partner if you feel comfortable enough.” She continued as soon as she had our attention  “You can add on a few spins or whatever you feel like if you have the courage. Me and G will show you some easy maneuvers”

Mrs. Kim and G proceeded to show off some simple spins and swirls, all looking very beautiful and definitely too hard for me to follow.

The music started again and I found a determined look upon Chanyeol’s face. We hadn’t spoken for all of the lesson but as soon as we’d fallen back to the rhythm, he leaned closer, whispering in to my ear.

“Trust me,” he said “and just follow along.”

“Umh, I-“ I began, knowing that whatever he had in store wasn’t something that would succeed with me as his partner.

“Shh.” He said, smiling “You will do fine.” I wasn’t so sure about that but I tried to feel optimistic. At least when Chanyeol had the male part, he’d be in charge of making sure everything went okay. That was probably the only good thing about me getting the girl part.

We danced normally for a while longer, but then, suddenly, I felt my stomach lurch as Chanyeol leaned closer, spinning me around close to his chest, breathing down on my neck as I made a 360-turn. I could barely believe how simply and elegantly it had been done and as soon as got back to my original position, I found Chanyeol smiling down at me.

“See?” He said and I nodded, a bit dumb-struck by the happiness on his face. I didn’t have much time to think of it, though, since the next thing that happened was him doing another spin, this time spinning me away from his body and then back again. Everything went so smoothly and I was shocked to feel elegant even after doing something that complicated.

Chanyeol continued to lead me, guiding me expertly throughout every new maneuver with his body. It wasn’t until later that I realized we’d gotten an audience. About half of the other couples was looking at us and some had even stopped dancing just to see.

“Chanyeol…” I said in a hushed voice as he made us do some swirling motions together, me pressed up tightly against his body. It was a bit unnerving to be this close to him, having this much of my body touching his, but since Chanyeol seemed unfazed I tried my best to do the same.  

“Yes?” He asked when I hadn’t continued on my own.

“Have you noticed that people are staring at us?” I asked, feeling embarrassed once again.

“Well, no.” Chanyeol said and quickly, he did a quick sweep of the crowd. “Oh .” He said once he’d realized and I had to hold myself back from laughing. He’d sounded so spooked that it didn’t really match his confident strides as we danced.

“What do we do?” I asked and Chanyeol fell quiet, though still continuing to dance. After a moment he smiled.

“Give them a show.” He said and this time, I couldn’t help my laugh to bubble up as he spun me again, him spinning along with me as the people continued to look at us.

The music pulled us along and before long, it sounded like it was coming to a close. I was by this point not even aware of the eyes on us and just felt myself enjoying the dancing. It was as if me and Chanyeol were floating around on clouds, not a care in the world. It may be the first time after our matching that I actually felt real happiness. Who’d known dancing could feel this great? All throughout the spins, the closeness and having his eyes on me, I felt as if there was something inside of me waking up. As if a fire had started to burn deep inside and it made me feel some kind of dizzy giddiness, the feeling so lovely I quickly became addicted to it.

When the song was just about to end, I had expected Chanyeol to stop dancing, simply stop moving his legs and arms and let us go back to our starting position. But I had underestimated him. Instead, I felt him tipping me back, letting me fall for a brief moment and then catching me with his arms around my body, his face so close to mine that our noses almost touched. The music ended just as we took our first breath after that last piece of magical choreography and I found my eyes locked with his.

Our breaths mingled as we smiled at each other and applauds rang out all around us. Me and Chanyeol looked around us in surprise to find the whole group of newly matched applauding us and Mrs. Kim looking incredibly impressed.

Chanyeol pulled me back up on my feet and as people continued to applaud us, we both made a small bow with lack of any other response to their flattery.

Chanyeol was still holding my hand as we’d finished bowing and I felt a small burst of electricity coarse throughout my arm where he still held on tight to me. That dizzy giddiness made me want to sit down but I continued to stand where I was. Embarrassed, and also a bit scared of the sensation, I drew my hand back, my previous feelings subsiding some.

“Wow!” Mrs. Kim said as she approached us “Who’d known we’d have such talent here today?”

“Thank you, Mrs. Kim.” Chanyeol said, I could tell he was also a bit embarrassed.

“This couldn’t have been your first time dancing together!” She said “It looked as if you’d been partners for a lifetime.”

“Oh, no we haven’t.” I said “I haven’t even danced before. This was all thanks to him.” I gestured to Chanyeol who looked flattered at my words.

“Incredible.” Mrs. Kim said “You two sure have chemistry to pull such a performance off.”

Her words made me feel a bit uncomfortable, and scared, while at the same time a part of me had kind of wanted to hear such a thing. It made me feel more okay with our matching because if we truly had chemistry, the science may really be right. It hadn’t been a mistake all this time. But at the same time, if this confirmed that me and Chanyeol was perfect for each other, it made me feel faint. Did this really mean that I was meant to marry a man? All because of our ability to dance together?

“Excuse me.” I said “I really need to use the restroom.” It all was too much for me, as if I’d been hit with cold water right after having had such a wonderful time. I had just been feeling happy and actually having fun and now, it was all ruined because of the growing certainty that me and Chanyeol should really be together, that we had some kind of chemistry even noticeable with the eye.

I hurried off after excusing myself and heard Mrs. Kim instruct the others to try and mimic some of the steps me and Chanyeol had preformed. What I didn’t hear was the footsteps following my own out of the room and in to the rest room.