Here I am again. Making a mess lol.

Terribly written in this chapter, beware.

싶다

Jungkook seeks you out after four days of silence. Nothing could have prepared you for the ding dong signaling a visitor, and the nervous face you spot through the peephole proves that he’s not ready either. You debate the pros and cons of hiding silently in the back of the house, but it’s likely that he heard your approach even through the sturdy door because you aren’t exactly graceful. Well, . Heavy hands reach for the latch sealing the door and you crack it open to peek outside into the hallway. He stands at an awkward distance, visibly uncomfortable with the whole situation. You’re instantly guilty, the weight of your words crushing your lungs. I didn't mean it. The light flooding through the opening catches his attention and his head snaps up, eyes searching for yours. Everything you planned to say gets caught in your throat because he looks… broken. Lost. Dazed. He can’t even maintain eye contact.

“I-I, um,” his voice is hoarse and his gaze doesn’t leave the ground, “I came.” And he must realize that that’s the lamest thing he could have possibly said, so he clears his throat and tries again. “I, uh, I mean I came… to talk to you. I-” he looks up suddenly, “Can I come in?” The half of you that knows this is a bad idea is ready to speak up and deny him entrance, but you catch yourself before the words slip out. Something tells you that if you do, he might just keel over and die on your doorstep, that your heart just might shatter, so you step aside without a word and allow him to shuffle past. He disappears into the dark living room, but you remain rooted in place by the entrance. Breathe! With a shaky exhale, you file after him and find him seated on the sofa, as far to the left as possible, practically hanging off of the edge by how tight he’s tucked against the side arm.

“You don’t have to look so terrified,” you joke, but it comes out in the dryest voice imaginable; so dry that it doesn't sound like a joke at all, so dry that he actually shoots farther away. Pretending that he’s not currently cowering away from you makes it easier to sit gingerly on the chair across from him and easier to pull in some much needed oxygen. “So...” you look to him waiting for an explanation. It’s obvious why he’s here, but you want to hear from him what his intentions are for coming - it’s either to accept the fact that this, you and him, will not, under any circumstance, work out or to wedge his head further up his .

“I want a chance.”

You can’t help but wonder if his head is there willingly or if it’s just so big it got stuck. Of course he’s doing this the hard way. “Excuse me?”

“I said I want a chance,” and this is the first time his eyes meet yours without flitting away, “I’ll prove to you that I’m good enough to be your mate.”

At that, you fall silent. What can you do when you know that if you open your mouth, the wrong words will spill out? What do you do when your tongue is itching to say Okay?

“No.” It won’t work. We won’t work. “No,” you repeat, more to yourself than to him, “There’s no point in wasting our time when this has no chance.”

It’s frustrating listening to utter nonsense, especially when he knows that you’re masking sincere feelings with logic and reason and stuff that has no business meddling with his abused heart. Jungkook’s been thrown away one too many times and the anger he’s kept buried inside and the new wave crashing in has him bristling, defences and voice rising.

“And how do you know that?” the fire in his eyes is intense, “Why won’t you even consider it, huh? What do I have to do?” He stands from his position and stomps around the table, his timid demeanor gone in a second, “What the literal is wrong with me that you can't see that we’re potential mates?” His voice cracks, “Why is it so difficult for you to submit to me?!” The flare of anger is slowly subsiding, fading into an overwhelming sense of defeat, “(Y/N)-ah,” his voice is hesitant, “Just give me a chance. If I can’t convince you, then we’ll go back to before: no more mate talk, no more ‘business’ dinners, I won’t even go to the office anymore, I’ll turn over the portfolio to someone else so you can finish the deal without me, I’ll- I’ll-” You don’t realize he’s this close until he’s reaching out for you, pulling you closer, and holding you tight against his chest. “I’ll stop loving you.”

“J-jung... Jungkook-ah,” the breathless moan is shamelessly loud.

“What, baby,” his hips don’t stall for a minute as he drags the body trapped under his thighs up to his mouth and pulls a between his teeth. “Tell me what you want.”

“I-” your voice is choked with pleasure. The sensation of being so full overwhelming and so satisfying. “Just don’t s-stop.” And he has no intention of doing so, his sinful legs pinning you in place on the mattress. For each snap of his hips, his length presses deep into your body with a dirty squelch and drags out until just the tip is nestled between your folds. He rocks his whole in and out, ing into you mercilessly, and it hurts but feels so so good. He curses under his breath and pauses quickly to rearrange your body, pulling down the leg thrown over his shoulder and rolling you over onto your stomach. A stinging slap lands on the round curve of your sending shivers down your spine.

“Look at-,” another smack, “you. F-,” the third slap makes your ears ring, but he’s quick to smooth his hand over the area, palm smooth over the burning skin. He reaches down to wrap a warm hand around his length, guiding it to tease your entrance by dipping the crown in only to quickly pull it back. His mouth traces along your side, leaving bites and marks and a cool wetness in his wake, all the while steering clear of your dripping hole. The frustrated growl you release makes him smirk at your impatience. “Okay, okay,” he wastes no more time and sinks in slowly, making sure to grind hard into the spot a couple of inches in that drives you crazy. is always a power trip, the alpha male literally drilling his dominance into your body, but it makes it that much more intense. Every touch is electrified and each moan that slips past your lips attests to how amazing it is to be so intimately close to your mate. “Say it,” he growls, pace increasing as he gets closer to release, “Who am I?” The entire frame of the bed rocks back and forth from the strength of impact; you're completely wrecked and not in the mood for his big ego when you’re a second from coming undone.

“Kook,” the moan doesn’t appease him, another smack landing on your .

“Who am I?”

The hits you suddenly, making it difficult to see straight and even harder to pull in air. The choked scream of Alpha pulls him down with you and he comes hard in your body, pumping his thick liquid as deep as he can. His muscles are burning from the effort of holding up his body so he lets his arms collapse, opting to press you further into the bed as he struggles to get his breathing under control. He can feel his swollen pulsing as his knot expands, the feeling drawing another deep moan because It’s so so tight.  

“I’m your alpha,” he kisses the side of your face and rearranges your bodies so that you’re lying close and comfortable. His face is nestled into your neck, a contented sigh escaping as he mumbles into the warmth, “I’m your alpha.”

And Jungkook is embarrassed by how many times he's been in this exact situation - pulling a hand from out of his own baggy sweats, spent and panting hard.

“I don’t think it’ll work,” your brain struggles to weave the lie together convincingly, “but you won’t listen to me, obviously.”

“It can. It will, I know it.” He sounds so sure and really, truly you want him to be right.

“And what if it does work out? What if we are mates?” Ah, the real issue. “I won’t submit.”

He thinks a minute about what that would mean for him, about the consequences of starting something he might not be able to finish. I could end up alone again. I could ruin everything she’s worked for...  I could change her mind. I could actually be happy. “For now, this is enough,” he sighs into your neck, “We can worry about all that later. For now,” his arms tighten around your waist, “For now I just want to be with you.”

It’s not a date per se, but the goofy grin plastered on Jungkook’s face and the obscene amount of cologne he wears for the occasion suggests other wise. He even picks you up.

“I hope you know people will question why we’re arriving together,” you state with a raised eyebrow. You slide carefully into the dark car, wine-red dress draping elegantly across the leather seat, “This isn't exactly what I’d consider low key.” It’s a business New Year’s Eve party and damn Korea for their drinking culture because you’d rather be at home staring at a wall then crammed in a stuffy room with a barrage of drunk people and none other than Jeon ing Jungkook following you around the crowd at his so called safe distance. Said idiot stops to speak with another investor and you use the opportunity to hide out at the bar because his constant gaze is suffocating and why not have a few drinks when everyone else in the room seems to be more or less wasted. You signal the bartender and he makes his way towards you with an easy going smile.

“The name’s Lay. What can I get for you?” Dimples. Cute.

“Anything’s fine,” you respond and lean forward to rest an elbow on the wooden counter, “Preferably something that won’t leave me faced.” He nods with a small chuckle and reaches under the bar to grab two bottles, one filled with a honey brown liquid and the other with a questionable blood orange. He uses a mixer to shake the concoction around a bit, which seems utterly unnecessary, though it shows off his nicely toned forearms, then pours the dark brown drink into a hurricane. Muttering a thanks, you slide the drink closer and play with the water gathering on the bottom of the glass absently.

“So did you come with someone...” he trails off as he waits for a name to fill in the blank.

“It’s (Y/N) and no, I’m not here with anyone.” You see him nod his head just the slightest bit and return his attention to a new customer, but it feels as if the conversation isn’t quite over. He paces around the small area, refilling glasses, making small talk here and there, glancing back to make sure your still there. When he’s close enough, you clear your throat to grab his attention and based on the way he quite literally drops what he’s doing to come closer, you suspect he’s been waiting for you to bring it up first. “I’m sorry, um, Lay right? Do I, uh, know you from somewhere?” An anxious feeling creeps up your spine at the sad look he flashes in response; he does seem familiar, but you can’t place the name with the face.

“Yeah, actually we-”

“Noona!” an annoyingly familiar voice cuts in and of course Jungkook would interrupt at a moment like this. He squeezes onto the seat beside yours though it leaves little room to breathe let alone move. “I was looking for you, noona,” he sounds a bit winded, “Were you here the whole time?” At this he looks around the area and, upon making eye contact with the other male, acknowledges him rather curtly. “Oh. Hello.” His smile is strained when he faces away from him and redirects his attention on you. That was strange. “(Y/N), let’s go get some food,” he latches onto your arm, practically ripping you up from the stool, “I swear I can’t remember the last thing I ate today.”

Jungkook wishes that he could have you stand by his side throughout the entire party, but keeping a reasonable amount of space between the two of you is a rule that he’ll have to deal with as long as this, he and you, are a thing. He’s gets dizzy just thinking about it because I’ve got a real in chance. There are a lot of conditions on this chance, yes, but hey, he can’t complain. Interactions while in public besides the typical business greetings aren’t allowed; he can’t visit the company more than every other day and never during the times when CEO Park is scheduled to come in; the word “mate” or any talk hinting at the subject is punishable by death; and many more rules he finds unnecessary but will follow nonetheless.

The alpha watches as the round of polite greeting and socializing sweeps you away in the throng of drunken businessmen and it takes all of his mental strength not to jump in and fight them all off. The arrival of a -faced blonde makes things easier as Jungkook can divert his attention to him rather than to the bar where you’re currently seated. Min Yoongi arrives in style as always - stumbling and cursing and much too drunk for having only been here a maximum of an hour.

“H-hey, Kookie,” he slurs. He looks like he’s sleepwalking.

“Hyung.” It’s clipped short, just harsh enough for Yoongi to catch the malice even in his alcohol induced stupor.  

“Woah-ho-ho. Down boy.” He leans heavily against the wall to support himself and regards the younger who’s shooting lasers across the venue. “What’s got you all,” he gestures vaguely in the other’s general direction, “stiff?”

And Jungkook’s not really sure because it’s just a bartender doing his job and chatting with the patrons, but the one he’s talking with happens to be his mate and he doesn’t like the way the other is flexing his arms as he shakes and pours the tiest looking drink ever. So with no plan in mind, he marches up behind you and grabs onto the bend of your elbow. “Noona!” he pushes his exhale out with a bit more force to seem out of breath. His approach catches the attention of the bartender with the forearms and Jungkook immediately catches a whiff of the other’s warning scent, bristles a little when he smells that the other male is a relatively strong beta. He sends his own scent back with a Back the off glare and the beta is quick to back down to the stronger. Satisfied, he tries to pull you away from the bar with a lame excuse about needing food, but the other male speaks up before he gets out of earshot.

“Yixing.” He states simply, “My name is Yixing.” Jungkook looks down to where you freeze against his side and turn to face Forearm Guy.

“Yixing? As in Zhang Yixing?” The alpha doesn’t know what to make of the tone behind the question or the interaction in general. It’s almost robotic, the way you respond and move, almost as if your brain is short circuiting and shutting down as you speak.

Forearm Guy nods. “It’s been a while right? How have you been holding up?”

A shaky nod is the only response and it’s then that Jungkook feels a tight squeezing on his arm, one that’s bordering on bruising and threatening to break the skin. “It has been hasn’t it?” you hollowly reply. “I- I’m good, thanks.” Jungkook can practically hear you screaming Get me out of here so he starts leading you away towards the exit. Forearm Guy calls out from behind, the words he utters raising the hair across Jungkook’s arms and leaving him confused, at a lost for words.

“You should go visit his grave. I’m sure he’d like that.”

A/N

Why does this chapter so pointless? Good question. I think I just killed someone off… My bad.

Was succumbing to Kookie’s cuteness in four chapters to fast? Should I drag it out more? I just wanna read some , man, what is this poorly written character development nonsense?

You were actually supposed to meet someone else this chapter, but I love the idea of bartender Lay, so <3 Next Sunday I shall be back!