슬픈 운명

There’s something mesmerizing about the way rays of light stream in through curtains, how they lazily float around the room before settling, warming everything in sight with a gentle brush. The same light casts shadows across Jungkook’s peaceful, sleeping face and it has to be the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. His eyes flutter lightly, dark lashes brushing, light as a feather, against high cheekbones. The shadow cast by the sharp angle of his nose stretches down to his ear, coloring them a shade darker and concealing the soft pink marks littering the side of his face and trailing their way as far down as the happy trail cutting down his lower abdomen. The rhythmical rising and falling of his chest rustles the cotton sheets and they’re slowly slipping down to reveal chiseled collar bones and another patch of love bites. These lead around to his sides where erratic lines left by blunt nails swirl in sensual patterns. Dimples at the base of his spine are out of sight, but you’ve memorized his body and know exactly where they lie. Jungkook is so perfect it hurts.

“Stop staring,” a scratchy voice coughs out, “It’s creeping me out.” Jungkook’s never been a morning person.

Reaching over, you press a finger into his unsuspecting cheek. “You look beautiful; how can I not?”

At this he smiles widely and rolls over, pressing his bare chest into your side and kicking a toned leg over your hip. “Please. You’re so beautiful, I still can’t believe how lucky I am.” And he must fully comprehend what he’s said a full five seconds later because flushed cheeks disappear behind thin fingers and Jungkook’s silent scream is full of embarrassment. “Kill me now. Please.”

“Hmmm,” you click your teeth quietly, “That depends on how beautiful you think I am.”

“The most beautiful.”

“Good answer.”

Getting up and ready (why you’re getting up is a mystery because more than likely you’ll end up camped out on the couch) takes ten times longer than usually. First of all, Jungkook is an octopus - his arms and legs wrap themselves around your body and they’re bounded tightly as if he glued them in place. No amount of tickling or pleading (though he almost caves at the mention of a ) is enough to get him to release you from his vice grip, so you settle for cuddling a little while longer. He’s quick to fall back to sleep though, so in less than an hour you’re wiggling away to take a quick shower and change your clothes. The steam in the bathroom fogs up the mirror that stretches across the entire wall and you can’t help but notice that there’s not a single doodle drawn across it. The anatomically correct now traced into the upper lefthand corner is a work of art, but for the rest of the space, you try to come up with something with a bit more finesse. Your hand starts moving on its own accord and soon line after line of writing fills up the steamy surface.

Jeon Jungkook,

Let me be honest with myself and with you for once - I think you’re right.

You’re past the point of denying it now. Jungkook is special and amazing and so so precious.

But I’m scared, Jungkook. I’m afraid because I don’t know how this is gonna turn out, neither of us do and the uncertainty is killing me. I wake up in cold sweats if I can even manage to fall asleep; I walk around the office on my tiptoes because I know the second my mother finds out, she’s gonna publically scalp me and/or quarter me in the middle of the conference room. I’m constantly on edge and the feeling of impending doom has got to be the most unsettling feeling ever.

You pause to think a minute before continuing,

The only solution I can think of is the route only a coward would consider… but in all honesty, that’s what I am. A coward. And yet you, with your stupid, innocent face, imprinted on me of all people. Lemme ask: what the literal were you thinking?? Not only was chasing after me the dumbest thing you could have done, you had to go and get attached on top of it? Damn you, Jeon Jungkook.

You can’t help but smile fondly at the mirror; it’s impossible to stay upset at him for more than a second.

Thank you, Jeon Jungkook. That day forever ago on the subway, I didn’t realize it, but there was definitely something different about you. Did you feel the same way about me? Is that why you found me at JC? If so, then I get it now, what it feels like to be left awe struck because someone so much as breaths your way. I get it and from now on, I’ll respect your feelings and treasure them because you deserve that. I can’t say that things’ll get easier from now on - I’m still not imprinted, but god knows how much more complicated this situation will get if I do and then there’s the obvious problem of us both being alphas - but it all right? We’ll figure it out as we go.

A soft knock on the bathroom door interrupts your thoughts for a moment, but retreating footsteps and the promise of lunch gives you the minute you need to finish inscribing your heart onto the glass. The top part of the scribbling is already starting to disappear as it dries up.

One last thing: in the highly likely event that I try to push you away and run, please please please please please chase after me. I’m stubborn and selfish and dumber than most, but if you ask me to stay, I will. Don’t stop after just one try or ten or a hundred; don’t stop until I fess up to everything, until I tell you how I feel about you. And no matter what I say or do, know that I’m in love with you, Kook. I love you.

“Sorry, I haven't been shopping in a while.” Jungkook smiles sheepishly as he closes yet another empty cabinet, “You’d think that after last time I would’ve at least considered going to the store…” His failed attempt at finding something remotely edible means it’s take-out Chinese and stale beer for lunch, but it’s nice nonetheless. You sit stretched out across the couch, legs tangled and arms pressed together, watching whatever happens to come on. The tail end of a Hello Counselor finishes playing followed by three episodes of Running Man, in which time Jungkook’s nodding head is dangerously close to hitting the back of the couch. You watch his struggle in amusement for a minute, but you start to feel guilty the longer you watch him fight to stay awake. You can’t help but wonder how little sleep he’s gotten in the last week. Jimin’s claim that the younger wasn’t sleeping or eating properly because of you hurts in more way than one. More than anything, you’re mad at yourself for being selfish and brushing off Jungkook’s feelings as if they were a flimsy layer of dust. If you were in his position, the likelihood of you agreeing to see someone who put you in his position would be slim. The fact that Jungkook doesn’t seem resentful or even remotely miffed is just as unsettling because you’re secretly afraid that his anger is lurking just under the surface of his cool facade.

“Hey,” you smooth a hand over his thigh, “If you’re tired, you should go lay down.”

He jerks up at the touch, heavy eyes sneaking open only for a second. “Honestly…” his tone is cautious, slightly pained, “I don’t think I can if you don’t lay with me.”

The admission makes your heart drop into your stomach, “W-what do you mean you-”

“Have you ever heard the story of how the sun loved the moon?” Unfocused eyes stare towards the far wall and Jungkook’s fingers absently pick at the string poking out from the plush armrest. “It’s a beautiful story. Sad, but even more beautiful for it.”

“Um, no. I don’t think I’ve heard it before.”

“Hmmmm,” he hums as he leans over to lay his head into your lap. “Then should I tell you? I think you can relate.” He reaches for your hand to lay it on his cheek, sighs contentedly when you lace your fingers through his thick hair. “It goes something like this:

There once was a moon, as beautiful as can be, only the stars could fathom, but the sun could not see. The sun so radiant, he burned so bright. The moon so luminous, but only showed her face during the night. She was untouchable, surrounding herself with a blanket of darkness. The sun would give anything to catch a glimpse of the Moon illuminating the beautiful night sky.

One day, when the Sun was sliding out of the heavens, he caught a glimpse of her. She was peeking up, a rare side of her being exposed to the light. How he wished to see her more than the fleeting moments he shared with her at both dawn and dusk, but alas, they were a world apart.

‘Go,’ she whispered to him one of those nights, her voice as sweet and sorrowful as the last light of morning. ‘Go and let me breathe, for you and I have decided fates. You illuminate the day, and I cast a glow on the night. We will never be. Our connection would go against what mankind believes, what they know.’

To this he sadly agreed.

During the summer he would stay a little longer just in case she would change her mind, but it was no use. ‘Don’t you dare abandon your blessing of light for my darkness,’ she pleaded. The Sun could feel her peaceful soul and it soon became clear. He would die each and every night to let his true love breathe, for it would put an end to all her misery. Today they say that on the days the sun or the moon is brightest, they are thinking of each other, wishing they could be united in a universe that wasn’t against them.” Jungkook’s voice dies off in a murmur as he finishes.

He speaks up a minute later, reaching up to wipe away a stray tear making its way down your face, and you didn’t know that you were crying. “But you know what’s the saddest part about that story?” He props himself up on an elbow to make his eyes level with yours, “No matter how badly they want to be together, their fates are are set in stone - there’s no changing it.”

“Sounds like a couple I know,” you huff, rubbing at your eyes. “Was this supposed make me feel anything but ty and hopeless?”

“Ya,” he flaps his wrist in your face, “You’re missing the point here.”

“My question is which one of us is the sun and which one of us is the moon.”

“Baby, just gimme a second to-”

“Because this really for the moon, but I mean like, the sun dies? That’s a little dark.”

“Baby-”

“But personality wise, or at least from what I can tell based on what you told me, the sun sounds more like you and the moon more like me.”

“Can. I. Talk??” There’s a fire behind his eyes sparked more by a need to speak than by anger or annoyance. “What I was trying to say is that at first I thought we were just like to the sun and the moon, too much like them to be honest.” He leans forward to press a quick kiss to your lips,“But thing that got me was that we don’t have to be.”

“...Come again?”

His eyes meet yours as he talks, intent on conveying his thoughts clearly. “There’s one key detail that makes all the difference.” And he must take your crumpled brow as a cue to continue because he does. “They were trapped by fate, but we don't have a script to follow. There’s nothing keeping us apart but ourselves, the things we’re not willing to give up, our own choices.”

Well. “That’s pretty deep, Kook.”

“Ya! Could you just- I don’t know- let me be sappy for a second?” With a huff he plops back down onto your lap and buries his face into your side. “Anyways, you I’m done.”

“Kooooooook~”

“No.”

“Kooooookie~”

“God damnit,” he burrows in deeper, “I was gonna say how much I love your stupid , but now the moment’s gone.”

“Aw, Kook,” you coo teasingly, “You’re so sweet.” He tries to escape your pokes and prodes by running away, but you manage to keep him in place by running a hand through his black hair, pulling lightly at the roots like you know he likes. “You have a good point,” you admit quietly, “We’re our own biggest obstacle.”

He runs a fond hand down your thigh, “Don’t worry, love. For now I have you in my arms and that’s all I need. We’ll figure this out eventually, hopefully.” At this Jungkook drifts off to sleep, mouth slightly parted and breathing deep and even. He sighs as he rolls over, a soft “Love you” slipping past his lips.

And you’re not quite ready to offer a response aloud, so you whisper it quietly in the depths of your heart. I love you too.

A/N

Credit to this tumblr post where I got the Sun and Moon story. I was going to rewrite it, but it’s too beautiful to touch <3 All I did was fix the grammar in a few places and chop out / reword some parts. It’s 80% the same.

I’m loving where this is going - we’re making progress slowly but surely. There are a handful of more obstacles to address - Hoseok resolution, Confess feelings, Old mate / Yixing, Mom Bear, and Imprinting/Mating - so expect a good amount of chapters in the future. For now enjoy this one <3 Subscribe, comment and upvote please <3

Oh! And great newsssssssssss! I FOUND MY FLASHDRIVE