놓아 놓아 놓아

Hoesok’s offer has been haunting you for the past week. In all honesty, if the suggestion had been made a few months ago, that is before you met Jungkook and began digging your own grave, you might have considered it. Hoseok is kind and comfortable to be around (not to mention handsome and ridiculously wealthy) and, on top of it all, he’s a beta. The admission had come as a bit of a shock to you - though it was difficult to get a read on the older male, you assumed he in all of his million-dollar check-writing glory was an alpha male.

“Just think about it,” he’d said as he stood up to go, “You either settle or you submit.”

The rest of the conversation plays out in your head as you stare absently out the window along the back wall of your office. The building is relatively empty as it’s an early Sunday morning, but rather than relaxing at home, you came in to finish packing up the rest of your things. CEO Park. Daebak. Since the announcement you have a larger workload than ever because, contrary to popular belief, the heads of companies do more than go to dinner meetings and golf. Even so, you’re only moderately busy on the worst days, so it’s not really a good excuse, but it’ll do. Work has become your fallback ‘I’m too bust right now’ to keep Jungkook at bay, especially since the other never questions it or asks for explanations.

Sometimes it’s: “Sorry, Kook, there’s no way I can meet today. I have a meeting until eleven tonight and tomorrow I have another one first thing in the morning.”

Other times it’s: “, I totally forgot. Can we reschedule? I’m in a meeting.”

And when you can’t think of anything better it’s simply: “Today’s not a good day, I have to prepare the agenda for this month and I haven’t even started.”

But at least the excuses are partially true - you do have meetings to attend and you do have to write the agendas, but when it’s all said and done, there’s more than enough time to run home, to spend at least the night with Jungkook, to send a text or call… you just don’t. The hardest part about avoiding him is that deep down your wolf is screaming at you to go seek him out.

“Ugh!” You slam down your third empty can of beer, trying and failing to crush it in you hand, “And what the do you think I should do, Jimin?!” The orange-haired punk sitting across from you has been non-stop judging since you admitted to avoiding Jungkook.

“(Y/N), the answer is not cutting the poor kid off. For one: it’s not his fault, and two: you’re being ridiculous.”

“Oh, I’m being ridiculous,” you scoff, “Jimin, if I get attached to this kid, I’m ed. There goes the company, my career, my status, my entire life.” It’s so unfair. “There’s no way to win.”

“So are you saying that you’re not already attached to Jungkook? Would really rather have the company than be with your mate? Honestly?”

“...H-he’s not my mate.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Well, as of now I’m not imprinted and I’d like to keep it that way.” You give the aluminium can another tight squeeze but give up when it starts to press uncomfortably into your palm. “I wanna make this decision on my own, not because of my goddamn hormones. At least while I avoid him I can think straight.”

“Fine. Fine,” Jimin flaps his hand, frustrated, “Then keep acting like a dumb and see what that gets you. But if you really lose him, I can guarantee that you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”

Would you? You can’t say. “And how would you know that, huh? We tried dating and, sure, it was nice, but at the end of the day I can’t keep living in this fairy tale. We’re just not meant to work out, okay?”

“No, it’s not okay,” he grits, “Are you really that thick?”

“Jimin, I think you’ve known me long enough to know that I have negative intelligence. In fact-”

“Ya, shut up and listen for once,” he interrupts. “You’re so ing concerned about yourself, you totally disregarded Jungkook’s feelings. Did you really delude yourself into thinking that you’re the only one who has something to lose here? Jungkook’s in the same position you are - he’s a head alpha, has a pack to care for, a career ahead of him, hell, he’s barely old enough to mate - and yet he’s trying to make things work.” Jimin’s on a roll now and after listening to you whine about the situation for the past five months or so, he can’t just sit and listen quietly like he usually does. “You, on the other hand, are hell bent on making things more complicated by taking the situation into your own hands rather than talking it out with him. And, last time I checked, relationships are a two way street, but it seems to me like he’s the only one who’s truly invested here. Did you even realize that he’s impri-” Jimin freezes.

Your fourth beer gets spilled over the table when your hand twitches involuntarily. “He’s what?”

Jimin’s mouth opens and loses slowly, only gurgling and random words managing to make their way out.

“Jimin.” The room is spinning and it’s not just because of the alcohol. “Jimin, he’s what?” Your voice is urgent, but he’s looking at anything but you as he takes his time composing an answer.

“I wasn’t supposed to say anything to you…”

“Minnie-”

“Oh my god, Yoong is gonna kill me. Then kill me again. Then on my grave.”

You’re ready to pull out your hair in frustration. “Jimin. tell. me. now.”

“I thought it would be obvious,” he starts shakily, “But you as usual can’t take a hint.”

“Jimin-”

“Jungkookimprinted ohmygodthereIsaidit!” he blurts. “Jungkook imprinted on you and since you started trying to push him away, it’s been hell because he’s blaming himself and he feels like he doesn’t have the right to ask you to be with him so he isn’t, he’s just self depreciating and soon he’ll be nothing but a sad little wolf and this is all your fault.” Jimin pauses to breathe then continues, taking your open mouthed gape as a sign to go on. “He’s really upset, (Y/N) and Yoong said he’s barely eating because he feels guilty. Who the should have to feel bad for their feelings? Not him, for sure. He’s just confused and you’re not making it any better by being a , so get your head out of your and go see him because if you're honest with yourself, where you really want to be right now is with him, not here drinking ty beer.”

“T-the beer’s not that bad,” you reply weakley.

“Go.”

“But what do I even say?” You groan, “‘Hey, I like you but I’m not completely sure if this is what I want, so you should sit around and wait for me to get my together.’ Yep. I’m sure that’ll put him at ease.”

“If that’s how you feel then that’s what you should tell him,” he shrugs, “Avoiding the subject and ignoring him definitely isn’t going to fix anything, that much is for sure. Look-” Jimin sets his empty can on the table and locks eyes with you, “Jungkook cares about you. A lot. He deserves an explanation and he deserves to hear it directly from you. If you’re honestly ready to give up everything you guys have together to be successful, then tell it to him straight to his face. But if you're just afraid that you might be willing to give it all up for him, then you need to get your together and decide where you stand.”

“But I don’t know what I want.” Is Jungkook worth everything?

Jimin’s hand reaches out to squeeze yours, “If you can’t think of what to say, then stop thinking. Just speak.”

You’re all sweaty palms and weak knees the next day as you stand at Jungkook’s door contemplating whether or not to knock. Taking Jimin’s advice, which you realize now that you're completely sober is way easier said than done, you planned out everything you need to say. There’s a crumpled piece of lined paper in your pocket covered in scribbles of raw emotion and smudged with drops of your ruined mascara. You’re at least 42% mentally prepared for this and it’s a good thing because your hand moves to press the doorbell before you can stop it. You wait, listening to the silence, with bated breath; you hold your breath when the soft sound of shuffling makes its way to your ears; you nearly pass out when the door cracks open and swings back to reveal a rumpled Jungkook.

“Oh… hey.” Tired eyes take in your frame and despite the sadness evident in the deep brown orbs, they light up when they land on you and a shy smile pulls at his lips. He’s pale. The plain, white shirt he’s wearing is so wrinkled it looks like he’s worn it for a week straight and you don’t doubt that he has. Jungkook doesn’t deserve to be sad. “Noona?” he questions, “Noona, what’s wrong?”

“I-” So many things. “W-we need to talk, Kook.”

At this his face drops. “O-oh…” his eyes drop to the ground, “You d-didn’t have to come all the way over here, I think I understand what you were trying to say.”

“Kook-”

“No, I get it. Completely.” He steps back into the house and grips the knob with white knuckles, “You’re right - this, we won’t work and I was the one forcing you into it so it’s not your fault, really-”

“Kook-”

“And if you want to take a different mate, then I’ll accept that too. I heard Jung Hoseok is nice and he’s a beta and you guys look good together too so-”

“Jungkook-”

“And really, who was I kidding thinking that I could ever be with someone as amazing as you?” His voice cracks. “I wasted your time all these months, so let’s end things cleanly so that you and Hoseok can figure things out and be happy.” A shaky breath. “J-just… just promise me you’ll be happy with him and-”

You finally manage to cut him off by surging forward, hand flying up to reach around his neck and pull him forwards into your arms. You pause to breath in the comforting scent of his shampoo and it’s been way too long since you last smelled it. “Would you just shut up and listen?” You mumble into his dark hair, “You didn’t mean a single thing you just said, admit it.” He tenses in your embrace, but after a second, he melts into it, reaching around your body to pull you closer.

“I do want you to be happy,” he whispers, “But I’d rather die than see you in someone else’s arms. I’d go insane.”

And you wanna tell him exactly how you feel, but the piece of paper is currently out of reach, crumpled in your back pocket. “Jungkook-” Stop thinking and speak. You bury your face into his neck and it’s warm and so right and you never want to leave. “Then hold me and never let go.”

A/N:

Jimin in all of his infinite wisdom :) Ily, Minnie

I was listening to Day6 Letting f=go on repeat when writing this T.T It's such an amazing song; you shold go check it out!

My usb is still missing in action, but I it up and rewrote this chapter from memory (and lemme tell you, rewriting is mentally exhausting because istg you can never remember exactly how you worded it the first time @_@) I’m estimating 5+ chapters are needed to finish up this story, so we still have a way to go :O

Thanks to everyone who’s been reading all this time and to those of you who are just starting! Subscribe, comment, upvote, and love bts. Peace~