Dear Kimmy,

Tou-chan and Kaa-chan both called me in a threeway conversation as soon as I finished my run. I ate a bowl of fresh fruit, two hard boiled eggs, wheat toast and a bowl of coco-puffs. They were guilt tripping me because I was supposed to call and check in, but even if I had energy to explore a bit, I was really holding off on talking to them. Sometimes I wonder what my parents think of me as a person and do they worry about all the things I worry about? Menial Things, I mean.  I took another shower and decided on black skinny jeans, black boots, a beige coat with a hood and a black sweater. I'm not emo, I'm in mourning. 

You know I wouldn't be wearing so much black, if I didn't reflect my mood. Sometimes I wonder what our old friends think, but I don't dwell on it, like everyone else,I shut them out,they didn't understand me enough. I was already losing you, but they never tried. Sometimes I wonder, if the word friend, is just a play on relations but not on the actual role. You can be someone's friend and claim to be there but arent when the person really needs you.  You were the exception Kimmy, you were there when I felt the depression and was always the voice at 3 am , that helped me through it. 

I went to the bookstore that I saw on my run, it was only five minutes away.  I slipped into the isles of books as if I were home, the scent of books always calmed me. You know that. I grabbed a random book and began reading it. I was in the music section, I was looking at a book which described how to read music properly. I scanned the other titles. I don't know how Iong I was there, it felt like hours. 

It was only 10 a.m. I decided to purchase the book. I walked until I was at the coffee house which was named 'Coffee Cojjee'

It seemed familiar. I ordered a green tea and a chocolate cookie and walked to the nearest corner that overlooked the outside.  I sat there sipping my tea and reading from the book. 

It took another another two hours before I was done with the book, only 113 pages. It was an easy read. 

I decided to get some coffee and pastries from my Aunt and her coworkers. I gave my barista an order for a half dozen black coffees with cream and a batch of delicious pastries. The pastries were heavier than the coffee but I powered through it.  I grabbed the coffee and almost felt but someone opened the glass door for me as I was struggling a bit. 

'Let me take this from you, you look like you need it.' He said in perfect English. A hat obscured most of his face. 

'Ah.....' I replied like a fool.

He had dimples when he smiled politely. 

I nearly died as he helped me into a cab he hailed down.

'Asan Medical Center' I whispered to the driver.

He tipped his hat that was covering the black fringe on his head and I was suddenly lost in his brown orbs. 

Two words.

Park Yoochun. 

Oh Mickey.

Kimmy....I wish you were here....first SuperJunior, then TVXQ....but is it JYJ now? 

I'm conflicted. 

~Ai.

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~CT