IS THIS THE END?

***

“If our destiny is to eventually drown then let us sink to the very bottom...”

***

Sunggyu was waiting in the hospital, his hands trembling. What had he done? Woohyun was still being treated. The hospital staff called their parents but they said, they couldn't come personally. They were too busy. Sunggyu wanted to scoff. They weren't busy, they just didn't care. They gave the consent to follow with required treatment but asked for them to make it as cheap as possible. Sunggyu heard it and saw the disbelief on the face of the woman who was calling them. He had never hated his family more.

Minutes went by but Sunggyu felt as he was standing in that corridor for years. How could he lost it like that? He wanted to blame Woohyun for provoking him, for pushing his buttons but he couldn't. It was his fault. It's always his fault. Every time he wants to protect him, to do what is the best, he ends up hurting him even more. Like when he sent him away only to get abused by his step family. A single tear rolled down his cheek. Maybe Woohyun was right. Maybe he should stay. Isn't the enemy you know better than the one, you don't? But did he know himself? How far can he go? His thoughts were interrupted when the doctor approched him.

"Hello. My name is Shin Minhyuk and I am attending physician of Nam Woohyun. I was informed you are the only family member present."

Sunggyu nodded.

"Let me explain his condition then. He was brought to the hospital with several injuries, including deep bruises, small cuts, bleeding from the nose, broken sternum and concussion caused by kicks and punches. The injuries are severe enough to report it to the police. Do you wish for me to assist you with the report?"

Sunggyu blinked.

"I... But is he going to be alright?"

The doctor smiled.

"Yes, he is going to be okay. The recovery will be long and painful but it's not life threatening or anything."

"Can I see him?"

"Yes. He should wake up any moment. Please let me know when you decide to inform the police."

Sunggyu nodded. He entered the room and froze. Woohyun was all bandaged up, slightly sweating and he was so pale. The tears started to fall and Sunggyu couldn't stop them. He came closer and carefully took Woohyun's hand.

"I am so sorry."

"Don't be." Came a raspy answer and Sunggyu squeezed the hand tighter.

"Does it hurt?"

Woohyun smiled.

"No."

"Liar." Sunggyu chuckled.

"It's not your fault."

"You've already said that."

"Then why do you still blame yourself?"

"Because it is my fault."

"If I didn't push you, you wouldn't be as aggressive. If I had asked you, you would have stopped."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because you always did before."

"Woohyun-ah... I... I am not as strong as you think."

"I know. You are much stronger."

"You don't understand... I... This... This isn't right."

“You keep saying that but why?”

“Are you blind? You are in the hospital Woohyun! I broke your bones! How is that okay?”

“Don’t yell, they may hear you.”

“See? If it was okay, we wouldn’t have to lie.”

“They just don’t understand.”

“No. You don’t get it.... I... I googled it. It’s called Stockholm syndrome.”

Woohyun chuckled.

“It’s not that.”

“It is.”

“Hyung~ I... I’ve been abused by my step family. I’ve been bullied in school and I have never felt anything but hate for those who hurt me. It’s only different with you. YOU. I don’t care if you hurt me or not. I don’t care whether you are bad or good. Because I love you. Just as you are and I love everything that you are. Your smile, your laugh, your voice. All your faults, bad habits.... I love them too. Haven’t you heard? If you can’t handle me on my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”

“But my worst and my best are too far apart.”

Woohyun smiled and pulled him closer. Sunggyu led himself be taken down, so he was hugging Woohyun.

“I am not perfect either.” He gently Sunggyu’s hair.

“You are.”

Woohyun shook his head.

“No. If I was stronger, I could handle more of your kicks without getting hurt.”

Sunggyu sobbed.

“If I was perfect, I would know what to do or say for you to stop hating yourself. I would know, how to kill that urge that’s making you miserable, I would know how to make you all better but I am not so I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to fix you because in my eyes, there is nothing wrong with you.”

Sunggyu squeezed his shoulders, burrying his head in his neck.

“Can we really be?”

“If you trust me with yourself as I trust you with myself, why not?”

“But...”

“No buts. I love you, hyung~”

“I love you, too, Woohyun-ah.”

“Then stop fighting.”

Sunggyu cried as he pulled away and cupped Woohyun’s face.

“I won’t ever hurt you again.”

“Hyung~” Woohyun’s tears were falling too.

“Don’t do this again.”

Sunggyu smiled.

“Shhh. It’s okay. I will be strong for you. I will make myself worthy. Whatever is wrong with me, I will make it go away so don’t worry. I will never cause you pain. Never. I promise.”

He leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. Soon, Woohyun had to pull away, gasping for air.

“Hyung!” He chuckled.

“Don’t take my breath away, it hurts to breathe.” Sunggyu placed a hand on his chest.

“Sorry. I guess, I’m a liar. I will still hurt you a bit.” He smiled and Woohyun laughed, wiping Sunggyu’s tears away.

“I think, I am fine with that. Should I loose a bit more air?”

Sunggyu kissed him again but this time he was careful not to hurt him. Regardless of his joking, he really didn’t wish to see Woohyun in pain anymore. If he thought carefully about it, he would realize that his urge was gone. Hurting Woohyun might have been thrilling and exciting for him but he never wanted to kill him. When they took Woohyun to the hospital, he didn’t know what his condition was, whether he would even survive. He lost consciousness in his arms and that moment felt as if he was loosing him forever. He couldn’t let that happen again. He couldn’t loose Woohyun.

“I will protect you.” Sunggyu whispered in Woohyun’s ear.

“And I will protect you.” Woohyun replied, not letting go of Sunggyu’s body, pressed upon his.

"People can only by truly saved by other people."

to be continued