REALITY

***

They've promised that dreams can come true but forgat to mention

that nightmares are dreams, too.

***

Woohyun couldn't breathe. The world stopped. The only one moving was Sunggyu. Sunggyu. S.u.n.g.g.y.u. He could feel his breath, tickling his skin. He could feel his heart beating fast, making his own one to stop. He could feel his tongue on his finger. His body pressed tightly against his own. He couldn't move. He couldn't comprehend what was happening. He was overpowered by his senses, his emotions. 

"Hyung~" He managed to rasp out. Sunggyu froze. Everything remained still for a moment. Then, he slowly let him go and wiped his mouth. Woohyun was mesmerized. Sunggyu looked... so hot. Captivating. Irresistible. But he was scared. Too scared. Memories of a long ongoing abuse flashed before his eyes and he darted away. 

He locked himself in the bathroom. Breathing hard. What had just happened? Tremors seized his body. He broke out in a cold sweat. Sunggyu had never approached him before. He never touched him. So why now? Why in such a disturbing way? Was it the blood? Was Sunggyu somehow drawn to his bleeding wound? Or was it a need to hurt him? Woohyun remembered what his ex step dad told him.

"Woohyun-ah... I heard, you are bullied in school. Hah. You have that something about you... I can't name it but you make people want to hurt you. So don't blame them. Don't blame us. It's not our fault. It's you. You are practically begging us to hurt you."

Was it really true? Was it him who made people like that?

There was a soft knocking on the door.

"Woohyun-ah... It's me. I... I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. It won't happen again. The dinner is ready so come out and eat."

Woohyun was still shaking hard. Trying to calm down.

"Woohyun-ah? Are you okay?"

He closed his eyes for a brief second and took a deep breath.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just give me a sec."

He splashed cold water on his face, dried his sweat and came out. Sunggyu was sitting behind the dining table. The food already served. He sat opposite to him, carefully observing him. Sunggyu had never wanted to dine with him. Never. 

Sunggyu was feigning ignorance but inside he was panicking. He let his mask slip. He attacked Woohyun. He didn't even remember what happened. As if in that moment, he stopped being himself. He only realized what was happening when Woohyun called him. He had never seen him so frightened and to his horror, all he wanted was to launch himself at him again. Maybe Woohyun saw that intention in his eyes because as soon as he let him go he flew to the bathroom. Sunggyu remained sitting on the floor, confused more than ever. But then he remembered the kimchi jigae on the stove so he stood up and turned it off. He tasted it and fortunately it was good. He finished cutting the gimbap and set the table. 

Then he slowly approached the bathroom and called Woohyun. He had to make things right. Or well... right-er. They ate in silence. Afterwards, they cleaned the dishes and went to their room. The moment, the door closed behind them Woohyun tensed immediately and Sunggyu felt guilty. Just a little bit. 

"I won't hurt you."

He said, wishing he could believe it himself. Woohyun remained quiet. They both went to sleep without talking further.

But that was their beginning. The moment when Sunggyu made the first mistake.

Because if you slip once, you will continue slipping. 

to be continued