Dear Nam Woohyun

(Who always enigmatic and never gave me any clue to guess at all)

Hello Woohyun oppa.

It’s eight o'clock at night now in Venice and I had just arrived at the hotel. I rounded Venice the whole day together with Mijoo, a cousin from my mom’s family that happen to be working here. First I went to Piaza San Marco, a building which has a high tower. Well, from the top of the tower, we can see a view of Venice as a whole. We also visited Ponte dei Sospiri or the Bridge of Sighs, its name does sound creepy, oppa, but in fact it’s one of the sacred places in terms of romance in this city. I also had time to taste typical dishes in here, Polenta. It has square shape and golden color with a combination of mushrooms and chunks of meat.

By the way, yesterday when I was still in the train, I saw a man and a woman with a large backpack on their backs. If you ask me, it looks like they're on backpacker vacation style. And from the size of their bodies, I'm sure if they haven’t reached twenty years old. For a long time, I stared them, see them laughing together, holding each other in warmth, trace the adventure together.

Suddenly I felt nauseous, spark of envious and anger creep into my chest. I envy them, oppa. I envy them because they have the opportunity to realize the adventures plan that they had designed together, while the plans of ours could only crouch in a cardboard box under my bed. I’m angry at the world because of the injustice it gave me. I was angry, oppa. Why are we not given the same opportunity? But then there is no point for me to rant and rehash again about it now, it was all too long ago and I know there is nothing we can do to change it.

In this third letter, I want to tell you a little about you and the other side of you that I still haven’t been able to understand fully. Your melancholy, deep and philosophical side. The other side of Nam Woohyun figure that you never show to others besides me. And that's simply makes me feel wanted.

That afternoon I was busy struggling with my physics homework on my bed when I felt something heavy hit me and stopped right next to me. With a groan, I turned my gaze to Myungsoo which was then lying sweetly right next to me. A huge grin plastered on his face, his bangs started grow long and look messy. I chuckled softly.

"If you want to come in, please knock on the door first." Myungsoo looked at me with a strange gaze.

"What for? We aren’t people who just know each other." He continued, he then took the same position as me, frowning as his gaze landed on my homework.

"Gosh, why do we have so many homework? Have I been left behind that much?" I shrugged.

"It’s already almost two weeks you don’t attend school, it would be strange if we don’t have a lot of homework. Are you really cured?" I asked before gluing the back of my hand to his forehead, I felt grateful because I could feel that Myungsoo’s body temperature had returned to normal.

Spots and smallpox scars also disappeared. Myungsoo smiled proudly at me, his expression reminded me of the version of himself as a child, an eight years old boy in a Superman costume that ran around my house with pride while showing off his latest toy.

"Of course. I’m superman, I can’t lose against smallpox."

Small laughter rolled out of my mouth for a moment at the thought of Myungsoo childhood version before. Then I chose to go back and forced myself to focus on my physics homework that was only half way, my head felt like exploding. You most know, oppa, I hate that subject. I mean, why should I calculate the mass of a child who is in the elevator when the elevator moves up?

"Byul-ah.." Myungsoo called softly, Myungsoo always been like that, always called me with Byul than calling with Eunbyul as most people do. In order for anti-mainstream, Myungsoo said whenever I ask why.

"Since when do you like this kind of song genre?" Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Myungsoo was shaking his head to the rhythm, his hands clenched on thin air as if he was drumming. 

"This isn’t your taste. Usually the songs you listen to, if not John Mayer, certainly boyband." Myungsoo continued, this time with a frown at me. For a moment I stared Myungsoo in confusion, but a second later I realized that the song being floated across my room was a song that came from a small mix-tape that you give, that I always played day and night. I cleared my throat softly, trying to cover my sudden attack nervousness.

"Just want to hear something new."

Myungsoo’s eyes emit disbelief when he heard what I said, but he chose to remain silent and return busy humming the lyrics of Time Spent Walking Memories belong to Nell. And he also was shaking his head wildly, making his hair getting messy. Oh right, Woohyun oppa, I end up loving the mix-tape that you made.

"Byul-ah, why are you lying to me? This mix-tape is from a boy right?" He asked and immediately raised the box where you put the mix-tape along with yellow post-it. inwardly I cursed myself who didn’t realize that Myungsoo wasn’t on my side and was busy checking every corner of my room earlier.

"Who’s Nam Woohyun? Our classmates? Senior? What grade is he? 2nd? 3rd?" Barrage of questions didn’t stop out of Myungsoo’s lips, his eyes radiated with  great curiosity. I played my fingers at the end of the shirt I was wearing, somehow remember about you made me feel nervous. I could even feel that my cheeks begann to warm. Chaotic, oppa. It's very chaotic.

"Our senior." I said, glancing toward Myungsoo clandestinely with squeaking sound. Myungsoo took long strides towards me and ruffled my hair, giggling softly.

"My little sister, why do you hide it from me? Don’t grow up so fast, Byul. Later on when you go, whom I’ll be with?" The man in front of me was still laughing, gave rise to wrinkles in the corners of his eyes when he’s laughing.

"I don’t intend to go anywhere, Myungsoo." I said at the time, surprised by his puzzling question. Nonetheless answer Myungsoo gave next was much more confusing.

"That’s not what I’m trying to say, I mean ... ah, Byul, you don’t know what I mean?" His last words had me wincing for a moment at that time, but his eyes were assured that there was nothing to fear from his sentence and made me choose to regard as nothing. Until finally you told the real meaning of that sentence.

 Myungsoo came to school next morning, within just a few minutes after falling from his white car, Myungsoo popularity immediately soared like a celebrity. Every eye was fixed on Myungsoo when he stepped in the middle of the corridor. A confident smile on his face as if it was typical for him. While me, remained as the invisible Han Eunbyul and must tried extra hard to follow Myungsoo’s wide step.

I understand that it’s not Myungsoo’s fault that he was born with good looks and body. His skin is white though often exposed to sunlight, with broad and height above the average and fairly muscular arms. I know his perfect posture was a legacy Mr. Kim Yoojin (Eugene Kim), Myungsoo’s father who happened to be half Korean and France. While his thick eyebrows, thin lips and firm jaw line was a hallmark from his mother. He could be lucky if he joins entertainment industry but he often refused and told me to be quiet when the proposal came out of my lips.

The furor of his arrival still continued even when the school bell had rang, I packed my stuff lazily while occasionall