DECIDING.

        I throw my body over the bed, resting both my head and heart. I'd never imagined that Ahjumma would be so persistent with her ambition of marriage just because of her father last will. I know it so well to obey the person you love the most, yet you can't swallow it so bold to against the thought of rasionalism; seeing the other party, considering whether he is suitable or not for her, or to be exact, make sure he agree or not, and in the end deal with it if he doesn't feel like both of you couldn't make a happy marriage.

        I didn't get why there are people who go through marriage without love.

        Dasi Run Run Run nan meomchul suga eopseo

        Tto Run Run Run nan eojjeol suga eopseo

        Eochapi igeosbakke nan moshae

        Neoreul saranghaneun geot bakken moshae

        I pick up right away, too lazy to see who the caller.

        “It's me,” There is a deep voice right there which is used to make me looking forward to hear over and over again.

        “Don't hang up, please...” Absolutely, he knew what I'm going to do,”I need your help as a friend, I'm in danger right now so can you come to Apgujeong? but you can ignore this if you want,”

        Without giving a reply, I hang up the phone.

        The hell I will come!

        This ten minutes, I tried to sleep but I wasn't able to. My mind was screwed to think a lot of possibilities that could happen to him, the most I scared is what if he was being chased by bad guys like the last time? Gezz, I just cannot ignore my humanity.

        I take out my jacket and rush outside. I will let you owe me for the last time.

        About fifteen minutes, I arrived in the place he told me.

        I saw him standing while biting his nails, nervous. To be honest, I feel the same because we rarely talked, or should I say 'never' after we broke up a year ago. Yes, my ex was a guy; named Kim Taehyung and he's my classmate as well. God, It's going to be awkward.

        “What happened?” My to-the-point greeted was responding by a snapped by him.

        “Thanks for coming,” He cleared his throat,”Actually, I'm not in danger ...”

        I cut him off,”I knew it, I should've just ignore your !”

        I turned around for leaving, but he grabbed my hand.”Please, just for this time.” He begged me with his watery eyes.

        I yanked my hand roughly.”How can I, you liar! I thought this past a year, you can change, yet you're still same. You didn't hesitate to throw me a lie in order to make me come,” I split it out.

        “As if you will come if I told you that I want to meet you, will you?”

        Man, he hits the point!

        I need to drink in the silence to counteract the speechless that threatens to engulf me. This kind of thick silence would normally chill me, especially on an inky night devoid of even moonlight or stars, but tonight it works like a salve. I feel it.

        “Can we ...be a friend once more?” He continued. I'm sure he's prepared for this matter even though I still can see his hands shaking.

        Kim Taehyung, we were lover back then.

        We had nothing in common, other than a will for the right result in the end. I was the one lead by emotion and him by cool logic. I wanted to run out and and heal the wounded, he knew it would take resources beyond what we had. He buried himself in work that would bring in the things we needed but I could never pull my head out of the small details. Every step I took had to tangibly take me closer to the over-all goal, to be helping, reducing pain, spreading understanding.

        He wasn't like that. He could walk in the opposite direction for as long as it took if it was more likely to succeed. We never played chess, we were always on the same side, but if we had been he would have won every time. That's just how we were all through our relationship, the idealist and the pragmatist. I'm not saying that we always agreed, but we never lost respect for the other. I'd never have achieved what I did alone, and neither would he. Neither would the journey have been so pleasant.

        But, he broke it! tarnishing our sky with his lie.

        I lift up my upper lip, tsked.”You think we can go back like we used to be and act like nothing happened?”

        “But I can't stand it! We're classmate ever since we're freshman, yet you stop talking to me after that day. Do you feel uncomfortable to see someone who know you but he pretend that he doesn't?”

        I shrugged.”You're fine by yourself all this time.”

        “I'm not!”

        I sat on the bench, looking down to my toes before looked up at him again.”I guess, this is not just about being friends again.” Seems like my words seeped into his blood and paralyzed his brain, his pupils became dilated and there was a tremor in his hands. His face was one of awkwardness, not even hurrying to save his feelings, to fill the void with a non-comital statement of appreciation.“What do you want? don't tell me you haven't given up on me?” I asked coldly.

        He inhale and exhale the heavy breath before he's on his knees and says,“You're right, but don't worry. Tonight, I'll really put an end, give up.”

        I knew it, so I still keep my expressionless on. “You'd better not to call me anymore because I won't bother to pick it up.” Honestly, I've put the past behind my back. This is not hatred, it's just my disappointment of his act. There is no harm to start all over again, but I won't able to take it because the selfish of me toward the fear of breaking apart again eats me alive, not letting a speck of hope would change my mind.

        He gets up, so do I.“Alright. I'm leaving now.”

        This is for the best.

        However, the next thing I knew, he had slammed his lips to mine and nearly knocked all wind from my lungs. Of course I couldn't help but frozen automatically after that while he just walked away.

        It's not about the sudden attack. It's about the different taste; there is nothing I can feel like smell of cigarette or cappuccino. There was no familiar sight like sparkling when we used to be, no sound like a love song other than the howling now, even the light I usually needed to warm me was instead blinding and no match for the wind anymore. Did I completly lost my feeling toward him?

        ”Now, I find out the reason of your words which was stated that you won't fall in love with me. I get the point.” That a sudden voice from behind gave me a shudder.

        I turned around and saw the woman I didn't even want to meet again, Park Jiyeon. Crap! I get caught by the recent dangerous person who haunted me.“What do you want? Threatening me?” But let me make it sure first.”Let me ask you something. You're sure caught me, but did you have the prove you could save?”

        “Of course,” With full of confidence, she replied while playing the video that showed Taehyung was giving me a peck.

        I let out a heavy sigh. Gosh! When this is the end, why another trouble come up right away?”So, what do you want from me in order to make your mouth off for blabbering about this video?”

        “It's so simple, definitely.” She smirk ear to ear.

        Oh! I have a bad feeling about this.

        “Marry me!” I feel the world were crumbled behind me the moment she said that with the tone of excitement. Someone please tell me there is another way to throw this obsessed ahjumma away.

        I covered my face, then massage my temple before say,”As if I have another choice,” I could do nothing but said that.

        I turn my back and leave. You can see I'm leaving but in truth it is an escape, an emancipation. When all your life your opinion has counted for less than some pop-tart on TV, the frustration builds. There comes a time when your voice has been so cramped up inside of you need to breakout or risk breakdown. I don't hate being here for a moment longer, but I need to stretch my wings, fly into open sky to get away from this Ahjumma.

        “So, was it a 'yes'?” Crap! she catched me up.

        I rolled my eyes.”So, which other word can interpret it?”

        “Got it! make sure you tell your dad, okay? don't be too long, I prefer the marriage can be soon to be held, I'll be good at this weekend if you don't mind.”

        Without looking at her, I give my answer,”You're so desperately to marry me even you're stalked me here and there. You seriously scary, ahjumma.”

        “I am, but don't misunderstand me. I didn't stalk you, I just did some research related to where your school at and what I saw earlier was completely coincidence.”

        “Like I can just swallow your reason and get over it!” I've tired of handling this ahjumma.

        “It's okay if you didn't believe me,”

        I throw my glance at her. She smiled at me in a way that never meant good things. She rolled back her shoulders and observed as my eyes were drawn downward.”So, you're a gay?” she said, eyes narrowed and head tilted to let her hair dangle in the breeze.

        “I’m not!”

        “Then why─”

        I cut her off.“It's just because he's Taehyung.”

        “Is you referring that he is a 'special person'?”

        I stopped my steps and give her a sharp glare.”Do you think just because you have the thing to threaten me, you also can have a friendly conversation anytime you want.”

        “Oho! calm down. I will stop here, dude. I have to meet my