"What do you think of this?" Taemin held up a blue sundress against himself and started to twirl around. "I bet that would look better on you than it does on me. Put it back, you look like a retard!" I continued browsing through the aisle, ignoring the pout he gave as he reluctantly placed the dress back on the rack. "This is no fun! I thought girls love shopping!" Taemin complained as he took out yet another blue dress and insisting that I tried it on. "Can you please stop with the blues? I don't like that colour! If you want to make yourself useful, find something in black." I rolled my eyes as I scanned the racks for something, anything! We have been here for the past fifteen minutes and I still couldn't find anything that appealed to me, and I was starting to get real impatient. The only reason why I was still looking was because Lee Taemin dared me to get a dress to wear to dinner within 30 minutes. I accepted the challenge without much thought because, hey, how hard can shopping be? Turns out I was super wrong because the shop which he led me to wasn't exactly my kind of style. I sighed for the umpteenth time, as I hear Taemin calling out to me. I turned to see him holding out a maxi dress in black. "You know, that's kinda nice. Hold on to it, I still wanna look around." Taemin nodded before saying, " You know, just pick whatever you feel like wearing. It doesn't have to be a dress, we're not going anywhere fancy anyway." I smiled, "Oh yeay! You should have said earlier!" "Not that I want to, but seems like you're very picky. Either that, or you're not a very good shopper!" He teased. "Yah! I'm pretty good at shopping, thank you very much! This place just isn't my style." I retorted which he just ignored with a knowing smirk.

"I found it! With five minutes left to spare! Oh yeah!" I shouted at him while I hold out my outfit of choice. Taemin nodded, clearly approving. "Casual, but I like it." "Alright, then I'll get this !" I dragged him to the counter to pay for the outfit. "So now that I obviously won, what do I get in return?" I playfully jabbed him in the ribs as I took out my wallet to make payment. Taemin pushed me out of the way as he handed the cashier his card. "This is your reward, I'll pay for the outfit since I wanted you to find something new." "Aww, thanks! I really mean it!" I beamed at him as the cashier handed me the shopping bag with my loots. "Your boyfriend is such a sweet man! You're so lucky!" The cashier gushed as she gave me a wink. "What? Nooo...we're..." "She better know she's lucky!" Taemin cuts me off as he wraps his hands around my waist. Before I could even retort and clarify things with the cashier, he dragged me out of the store while saying his goodbye and waving politely at the cashier. 

"Why didn't you say anything about us not being together?" I huffed as I pulled myself out of his embrace. "Yah, Naeun! We probably wouldn't ever see her again so what's the big deal? It's not as if she will remember us." "Still..." I mumbled to myself as I continued to walk down the streets, mulling over the truth in what Taemin said. Even if I wanted to not acknowledge it. "Hey, but then again, would it be so bad to be seen as your boyfriend?" I didn't know how to respond to that. For a moment, I find myself fantasizing over how life would be like as Taemin's other half. But on the other hand, I feel guilt creeping all over me thinking of all the things I made him go through even when we were strangers. From the problems with Myungsoo, to being homless then sheltered by him, and basically, for throwing my life's mess in his direction and him patiently helping to piece back the broken pieces. Taemin's light tapping on my shoulder brought me out from my reverie. "You're spacing out. Earth to Naeun! Did you even hear what I ask?" I sighed, knowing that I can never get away with this but for the time being I choose not to answer. "Sorry, what was it about?" It was his turn to sigh as he held my gaze for an uncomfortable length of time. I broke away from his gaze as I turn to look at my watch. "Oh! Aren't you supposed to have another conference in an hour's time? I think you should get going. Don't wanna be late" I giggled nervously as I pushed him in the direction of the hotel. "I'll just go grab a bite at the cafe round the corner and I'll meet you for dinner ok?" I gave a quick wave as I my heels and started on the opposite direction. "Naeun!" I heard him shout for me as I make a quick turn to see him giving me a flying kiss. "See you at seven!" My heart couldn't help but to skip a beat and my face starts to warm as I shyly catch his kiss and put it in my pocket. Seeing this, Taemin laughed and walked away.

***

As I was getting ready for dinner, my mind wandered back to the question Taemin asked that afternoon. Would life be so bad if he was my boyfriend? Truth be told, I would easily say life would be so much more happier with Taemin. The old me would definitely have taken advantage of all these kindness and used it to my advantage. But spending time with Taemin have made me realise that sometimes, people are just being kind because that's how they are. And that is probably why I find myself going back and forth with my feelings for him. I wanted to be selfish and bask in his love, but at the same time, I feel sorry for taking advantage of his kindness and love. As much as I wanted to believe that I deserve to be happy, I also know that whatever that has happened to me was a result of my own wrongdoings and it won't be fair if I continued to stay on in Taemin's life. He should be with someone so much better, not me who has excess baggages all around. 

I find myself scrambling to give my hair a quick brush as I heard the door open. "You're early" I chirped as a tired looking Taemin plop himself on the bed, mumbling something incoherent. "What? I can't hear you." I sat myself down next to him and gave him a quick shoulder massage. Instead of an answer, all I got was a muffled groan. "What the hell happened to you? You've never been this shagged before." I brushed away the hair which was covering his eyes when he reached for my hands. "Nothing baby, just some woman who keeps following me around the conference hall, trying to matchmake me to her daughter! Oh god, it was so damn tiring trying to get her off my back!" I couldn't help but laugh as I imagined an annoyed looking Taemin weaving his way around the crowd trying to avoid the said woman. "Yah! It's not as funny as you think. She just wouldn't stop even when I politely refused."