The soldiers in the Jilin base had been swamped with work in the past few weeks as tiny revolts rose along their border, with many falling into fear with the rising market prices as their economy starting to feel the strain of war. They had finally managed to get the situation under control on Wednesday, things had calmed down enough for them to feel at ease and Minseok felt he deserved a treat for surviving the ordeal unscathed. He had finished up all his paperwork regarding the situation early and told Luhan they would be eating out tonight.

 

 The General had looked thankful and had gone through his own paperwork with renewed vigor, promising to meet Minseok back in the main house by dinnertime. Minseok had returned home alone to finally get a much-needed bath and when he realized he still had time to kill after he went to Luhan’s home office to try and sort out the weekly mess the General made of it.

 

 Minseok ran his fingers across the many books Luhan owned, briefly wondering if the other had read any of these books at all or if they were merely for decorative purposes. His finger’s trail halted as it caught on a book that was jutting out of one of the shelves. He was about to push it back into place when the title caught his attention, he pulled the book out not quite believing his eyes as he traced the letters along it’s worn spine.

 

 He glanced at the clock by the door tempted to have a quick look, it was still early he had enough time to flip through the book before he had to meet Luhan. He made his way to Luhan’s chair and took a seat, engrossed as soon as he flipped the book cover over to its first few pages. Luhan’s somber face greeted him, handsome and regal like in his photo. Minseok could not help but smile. The academy had decided that the top three students in each year would get a whole page for their photo something Luhan initially protested against until he remembered Minseok was placed second in their year which meant he would also have a page for himself. The news still didn't make him smile for his own photo though, years of being told he was too pretty to be a boy made him insanely bitter about seeing his own face.

 

 Minseok turned the page to his own photo. His handwriting greeted him, worn and barely legible in its fight against time. Luhan had thrown a fit when he saw Minseok had written him a message over the photo. He had put up with Luhan whining about how he had made the yearbook useless, before the latter had shut up as he finally read the content of what Minseok wrote across the page.

 

 The memory made Minseok’s smile grow, Luhan was surprisingly easy to please as a teenager. He was about to turn the page when something else caught his attention, Minseok could almost see the inner spine of the book as the threads on the page barely held it together. He frowned as he lifted the book higher trying to make sense of why it was like that. A lump lodged itself into his throat as he realized that Luhan must have opened the book to this page often, that was the only plausible reason for it being in such a condition. He cleared his throat and continued on to the next page not wanting to dwell on the thought.

 

 

-

 

 

Luhan paced around the foyer, glancing at his watch every few seconds with an impatient frown. This was unlike Minseok, he was never one to be late without reason. A soldier sent out by Luhan a few minutes prior returned.

 

“Jin Shàngwèi is in your office, Èrjíjiàng.”

 

“My office?”

 

A baffled expression flit across the General’s face, he was sure Minseok told him they were meeting for dinner in the foyer,

 

“Yes, Èrjíjiàng,” the soldier confirmed.

 

Luhan asked him to inform the driver to bring his car up to the main entrance before going to his office. The sight of Minseok hunched over what looked like their old yearbook stopped him in his tracks. There was a slight smile on Minseok face, but the sadness in his eyes troubled Luhan.

 

“You’re late.”

 

Minseok jumped openly startled by Luhan’s sudden appearance, he looked at the clock eyes widening slightly at the time.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn't realize how much time passed-“

 

“It’s fine, you can afford being late once in a while,” Luhan teased trying to force a smile out of Minseok. The lingering expression in the latter’s eyes still bothered him. Minseok’s finger brushed over a glossed page, it was a photo of their graduation class.

 

“We,” Minseok was hesitant which alarmed Luhan, “we had a rough ending, didn't we?” he finally finished with a bothered frown, thinking back to their final months before graduation. Dark months filled with tears, blood, sweat and ultimately silence.

 

Luhan was quiet before he shook his head in disagreement,

 

“That’s not true, we never ended. Look at us now,” Luhan said waving a hand in the air to emphasize his point, “we’re here, together, just like what we promised all those years ago.”

 

The crease between Minseok’s brows softened as he processed Luhan’s words, he smiled slightly. Unusually reassured by the normally nonsensical Luhan.

 

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you’re right,” he admitted, Luhan chuckled mentioning for Minseok to get up.

 

“When have I ever been wrong?”

 

 

-

 

 

January 1951

 

“The ambassador’s sons?” Minseok asked brows furrowed at the abnormality of their guests’ status, Luhan nodded disinterestedly, “Why?”

 

“To brief us on international relations or something,” as usual Luhan had probably started daydreaming again when the information was passed to him during the meeting.

 

“Why didn't you tell me earlier?” Minseok sped up as they drew closer to the meeting room where their guests were already waiting.

 

“It slipped my mind,”

“Of course it did,” Minseok mumbled as he pushed the door open, he came to an abrupt stop causing Luhan to bump into his back. His lips parted, ready to complain.

 

“Yixing!”

 

Luhan froze at Minseok’s unexpected cry, did he know their guest? The General was staring at the ambassador’s son in disbelief, the other mirrored his expression.

 

“Min-“ Yixing managed to stop himself from saying Minseok’s real name. A genuine smile spread across Minseok’s face as he moved into the room,

 

“It’s Xiumin,” he whispered once he was close enough, Yixing pulled him into a tight hug. Dimples out at full force with the smile he was supporting.

 

“I’m so glad to see you!” He pulled away gesturing to the other person in the room, Minseok’s smile widened as he recognized him too. Kyungsoo would be thrilled when he found out.

 

“You remember my younger brother Chen!” Yixing said gesturing wildly to Jongdae who was not looking at them but at the doorway where Luhan stood watching everything in rare silence. Minseok turned,

 

“Why are you still standing there, come in,” Luhan quietly did as Minseok asked eyes trained on Yixing.

 

“Yixing, Chen,” Minseok’s smile was still in place, it bothered Luhan. The smile bothered him- Yixing bothered him- He forced himself to stop his train of thoughts before they fled to a dangerous ground, “this is Xi Èrjíjiàng,”

 

Luhan accepted Yixing extended hand, releasing it as quickly as he could without being offensive. His eyes darted to Jongdae whose distrust of him was obviously displayed across his features. His attitude did not bother Luhan as much as his brother’s did.

 

“Please, just Luhan is fine,” Luhan said almost too politely, “You seem well acquainted with Xiumin, were you also in the South?”

 

Yixing and Jongdae exchanged a quick look, clearly not expecting the personal question.

 

“Yes, we studied there prior the invasion. Chen was even born there and so was Xiumin-“ Yixing paused, “but we’re all Chinese!” he answered a little too quickly, “I was born in Changsha and Xiumin, um-“ the man stuttered, eyes widening a fraction as he inwardly panicked not having thought the conversation out this far, “Isn’t his mandarin flawless!” Yixing wasn't even looking at them now, “I mean isn’t it good considering how long he’s been away from home-“

 

Minseok let out a snort stopping Yixing’s flustered explanation, his shoulders were quivering. Luhan’s eyes widened when he burst into lively laughter, tears gathering at the corner of his eyes.

 

“Yixing, that’s enough,” he gasped as he fought to get his breath under control, he wiped his tears away, “Luhan knows,”

 

“Knows what?” Yixing asked carefully not daring to make eye contact with the still General,

 

“Knows who I am,” Minseok answered not noticing how Luhan was looking at him, stare lingering on his smile.

 

“He does?” It was Jongdae who spoke, brows furrowed as he squinted at Luhan who was wearing a perplexed expression, “are you sure that was the right thing to do? Do you trust him?” all this was said in Korean, the fact that Luhan understood the language remained unknown to the other two. Minseok waved Jongdae’s doubt away.

 

“With my life,” he answered before gesturing for Yixing to take a seat not wanting to waste time. He sat down waiting for Luhan to do the same, but the latter remained standing expression uneasy.

 

Minseok glanced at the still standing Luhan, puzzled when he saw how distressed he looked but not knowing what was causing it. He stood back up and placed a hand on Luhan’s shoulder mistakenly thinking he was tired,

 

“Are you alright?” he asked quietly shielding him from the other two, “do you want to sit out of the meeting?”

 

“No,” Luhan said slowly glaring at the floor, he removed Minseok’s hand from his shoulder taking the seat across Jongdae, “Sorry, my mind was elsewhere. Let’s start.”

 

 

-

 

 

The briefing ended without any mishaps, conversation mainly flowing between Minseok and Yixing as Luhan and Jongdae remained oddly quiet. They were in the midst of saying their goodbyes when Minseok pulled Yixing aside.

 

“Are you briefing any of the other Generals?” he asked, Yixing nodded in confirmation,

 

“Just a few,” he answered.

 

“You should go to Wu Èrjíjiàng, you won’t regret it,”

 

Yixing’s interest was piqued.

 

“Wu?”

 

“Yes, Wu Yifan,” Minseok confirmed, Yixing’s expression soured slightly at the name,

 

“I don't think I’d be very welcomed,” he said having met Yifan very briefly once, the latter’s aura was daunting.

 

“You should still go, bring Chen. You’ll be surprised at what you see,” he promised, Yixing looked doubtful.

 

“Really?”

 

“Really.”

 

“Fine,” Yixing pulled Minseok into a quick hug again, “it was good seeing you, really,”

 

Minseok smiled patting Yixing back,

 

“Likewise, take care of Chen,” he whispered into Yixing’s ear. The other man nodded before releasing him. Minseok watched the two leave with a contented expression, heart undeniably lighter at the sight of more familiar faces.

 

“Lu-“ he trailed off as he looked around the empty foyer, Luhan was gone. Minseok frowned.

 

The soldiers in the foyer looked uncomfortable at Minseok’s questioning look, their General’s temperament was often a puzzle to them. They relied on their captain to gauge his moods. If he himself were at a loss, how would they survive?

 

 

-

 

 

 Minseok waited for a few minutes before going to find Luhan, he had to mentally prepare himself for whatever craziness Luhan might throw his way. He found the General immediately, hiding out in their room. Minseok would have missed him if he were not mumbling incoherently to himself.

 

“What is bothering you?” Minseok asked Luhan who was taking refuge under his covers. The latter fell silent posture rigid under the covers, Minseok let out a huff,

 

“I’m not a psychic,” he continued sitting on the edge of the bed, “you barely said anything to Yixing or C-“

 

Luhan sat up suddenly throwing his covers off him, Minseok leaned back to avoid getting hit.

 

“How long have you known them? Known Yixing?”

 

Minseok frowned at the doleful tone the questions were delivered in,

 

“How is this-“

 

“Just humor me,” Luhan cut in expression gloomy.

 

“As long as I’ve been in the South I guess. Yixing and I were classmates while, Chen was in the same class as Jing Xiu,” Minseok answered.

 

“Were you close?” Luhan asked tone almost resentful, “With Yixing?”

 

Understanding slowly dawned on Minseok with the question, he smiled at Luhan’s silliness finding it oddly endearing today.

 

“We were, he was the only one I could speak freely in mandarin to. At the time, the others weren’t confident with their mandarin so they didn't want to practice with me,” he answered watching Luhan’s expression carefully.

 

“We spoke a lot, but I could never share anything important with him,” Minseok continued, “I could never talk to him about my troubles, my family or you-“

 

Luhan looked at Minseok puzzlement lining his expression, Minseok smiled gently.

 

“We were close, but he wasn't a replacement. No one could ever be a replacement- not for you. You’re very important to me, Luhan,” he allowed himself to admit,

 

“I am?”

 

Minseok nodded finding it suddenly hard to speak when Luhan broke out into a pleased smiled.

 

“You are and you always will be.”

 

Luhan’s expression brightened considerably, his delighted expression was worth the humiliation Minseok felt at his embarrassing confession. He cleared his throat not comfortable with the sudden mood he had evoked with his words, he hurriedly tried to change the subject.

 

“I asked Yixing to go visit Yifan,”

 

“Why? To bore him to death with his international political lecture?”

 

Minseok shook his head,

 

“Chen and Jing Xiu are very-“ he emphasized the ‘very’, “close, its bound to drive Yifan crazy,”

 

Luhan looked proud.

 

“You’re learning well.”

 

Minseok chuckled leaning over to daringly poke Luhan’s nose,

 

“You forget I taught you most of what you know,”

 

Luhan protested making Minseok laugh more. His body felt light, all worries momentarily forgotten. They could wait for tomorrow. Tonight, he would enjoy his time with the owner of the twinkling eyes that sparked so much life into him. He would enjoy his time with Luhan to the fullest.

 

-

 

 

 

March 1951

 

 Ever since his unexpected return to China, Minseok had experienced nights full of uninterrupted sleep something he could never fully achieve in the South. He would always be the last to sleep in his household and the first to wake in the morning, even if he tried he could never sleep more than four hours straight. Here though as pointed out by Kyungsoo, Minseok enjoyed a solid six-hour sleep on a daily basis.

 

 He would have slept longer but someone had to be responsible between him and Luhan. The latter had never been a morning person and would hold a grudge against those who dared wake him. Minseok had learned it was better to lose an hour of sleep than dealing with a grouchy Luhan.

 

 Therefore, no one was more surprised than Minseok himself when he heard Luhan wake up before seven AM on one of their days off work. The General had tried to get out of his mattress as quietly as possible which ironically was what woke Minseok. He cracked an eye open slightly watching as Luhan got ready in a hurry slipping into normal clothing. Minseok waited for him to leave before changing quickly as well, curious to what the other was up to. He hoped the other had grabbed breakfast to buy him some time.

 

By the time Minseok had snuck downstairs, Luhan was talking to a soldier positioned at the gate. Minseok frowned when Luhan left on foot.

 

“Jin Shàngwèi!” the guard was startled to see Minseok suddenly beside him, “good morning, Sir!”

 

Minseok returned the greeting,

 

“Do you know where Xi Èrjíjiàng is going?” he asked casually, keeping his eyes on Luhan’s form.

 

“No, Shàngwèi,” was the apologetic answer.

 

Minseok nodded before setting off after Luhan, trailing him from a safe distance. He kept himself alerted ready to flee if Luhan turned to look back, but the chances of that happening was low as the other seemed too lost in his own world as he walked ahead. The road they travelled was cobbled and narrow, obviously not meant for cars or any other vehicles. As time passed, Minseok realized he knew the road, remembered the exact bends and turns Luhan took. He was not surprised when Luhan finally stopped walking as he reached his intended destination, the General unlocked the gate to the private cemetery and entered. Minseok hesitated at the gate wondering why Luhan was here.

 

 His heartbeat picked up as he realized just how close he was to his family who rested beyond the gate. As per their wishes, they were laid to rest in the land they loved more than their home.

 

 Minseok’s eyes prickled when he saw Luhan stop in front of his family’s grave. He wondered if the man went every year in his place. He willed himself to move towards where Luhan was kneeling with his eyes closed. He gathered his courage and glanced at his father’s headstone. He felt his heart drop, it was their anniversary. How could he have forgotten?

 

He kneeled down quietly knees touching his father’s grave. He could not take his eyes off Luhan, in astonishment that he had remembered Minseok’s parents and was here while Minseok himself had forgotten. His hands shook as Luhan started to pray, Minseok watched fixated as a tear slipped down Luhan’s cheek at the end of his prayer. The man still had his eyes squeezed shut as he started to speak.

 

“Thank you,” the other whispered not wanting to interrupt the peace of the cemetery, “thank you for keeping Min safe-“ Luhan’s Korean was smooth, but it was the content of his conversation that stunned Minseok, “thank you for bringing him back to me-“

 

Minseok could not bear hear anymore, he placed his hand on Luhan’s shoulder cutting him off, his eyes flew open in shock.

 

“Min!” he yelped almost falling over as he stood up, he looked away rubbing the tears off his face quickly. Minseok was quiet as he straightened up, Luhan avoided his gaze ashamed at displaying such weakness in front of him. He took a step forward taking Luhan by surprise with a hug.

 

“Thank you,” Minseok whispered voice shaking as he caught sight of his sister’s grave over Luhan’s shoulder, “for looking after them.”

 

Luhan’s arms came up to circle around Minseok, reciprocating the hug. Both were quiet, daunted by how well they fit around each other, by how natural the embrace felt.

 

“We should go to your mother’s shrine together,” Minseok finally whispered, reluctantly stepping out of Luhan’s hold. Luhan nodded expression solemn.

 

“Do you-“ Luhan began gesturing to the graves, Minseok nodded, “alright, I leave-“

 

Minseok’s hand shot out preventing Luhan from leaving.

 

“Stay?” he asked, suddenly afraid of being alone. He didn't want to be left with silence, he had enough of it to last him a lifetime. Luhan looked surprised but nodded nonetheless.

 

“Of course,” he answered.

 

 

-

 

 

Minseok knew he was dreaming as he followed his younger self through the bland hallways of the Beijing Military Academy. His younger self was exhausted but excited, eager to show Luhan the tackle move he had mastered in his previous class, which the other had typically skipped. Yet despite dream Minseok's happiness, the real Minseok felt sick terrified at the events about to unfold. This dream was not a new one and Minseok tried to wake himself up to no avail. His breathing quickened as dream Minseok opened the door to his and Luhan's room happily chirping out a greeting. Luhan was sitting on his bed, back to Minseok barely reacting to his entrance. Dream Minseok frowned as he approached Luhan,

 

"Han- are you alright? Did you skip class because you feel sick?" 

 

Luhan finally turned eyes bloodshot, pale face halting Minseok in his tracks. There was a note crumpled in his hand. A telegram, he held it up for dream Minseok who hesitated. The last time he received a telegram it did not bear good news. Luhan made the decision for him placing the card in his hand, watching quietly with glassy eyes as he read it.

 

Your mother has passed away. Contracted a deadly virus from one of her patients. Was too quick. Body had to be burned because contagious. Service held tomorrow. Will send car for you. Xi Lindao. 

 

Dream Minseok reread the harsh message three times unable to process it properly. He knew telegrams tended to be brief but this was too much, Luhan's father was merciless. 

 

"They burned her Xiumin-" Luhan spoke up voice hoarse, dream Minseok's throat tightened at the thought of Luhan screaming himself numb alone. He blinked back the tears in his eyes evoked by the image,

 

"They burned her-" Luhan repeated voice cracking, dream Minseok climbed onto Luhan's bed to wrap the younger boy in his arms as Minseok watched sadly from the corner. Luhan did not wail in his grief like others did, he did not sob like Minseok did at his own telegram months ago. He just buried his face into the crook of Minseok's neck, the only proof of him crying was the wetness that Minseok felt sliding down his neck and wetting his clothes. 

 

Real Minseok shut his eyes at the scene willing it to end, when he reopened them it was dark and dream Minseok was in his own bed anxiously waiting for Luhan to return from his mother's service. The door to their room opened with a creak, Luhan entered the darkness quietly not even sparring Minseok a glance. The real Minseok's heart throbbed agonizingly as Luhan climbed under his sheets suit still on, dream Minseok watched on helplessly as Luhan turned over to face the wall. 

 

"Night Luhan," dream Minseok said quietly getting under his own covers, Luhan didn't reply. Minseok didn't expect him to. 

 

The scene jumped to the next day and Minseok could only resign himself to the nightmare until he finally woke up, his heart was hammering against his chest as he watched dream Minseok who was already up, stop by Luhan's bed. He brushed a hand over Luhan's head careful not to wake him, he saw the tear tracks along Luhan's cheeks and decided he should stay in for the day. He left for his classes not knowing that Luhan was awake. A day of classes rushed by and real Minseok reluctantly trailed dream Minseok back to their room, dream Minseok's steps were hurried expression uneasy for some unknown reason. Luhan was not in their room and dream Minseok knew immediately why he felt uneasy, he ran to the school gates winded by the time he reached them. The posted guard told him which direction Luhan went off to and dream Minseok could only hope his guess was right. They both started to run, real Minseok in the lead due to his bigger structure compared to the dream him.

 

 The train tracks and Luhan came into focus faster than Minseok remembered and he stopped running to turn to the dream him, watching how he slowed down as he caught sight of Luhan and realized what the other was about to do. The flashes of emotion that flitted across his face was excruciating to see as dream Minseok dropped to his knees weakly, from shocked to despair, distraught then hopelessness. His eyes were blank as Luhan approached the end of the platform.

 

"Get up!" Minseok yelled at himself, terrified, "get up!"

 

His heart felt as if it was lodged in his throat, dream Minseok managed to get onto his feet again as a train approached the station. The blur of people around them started to murmur as a dazed Luhan calmly climbed off the platform and onto the tracks. Dream Minseok and real Minseok began to sprint towards him. Luhan turned just as dream Minseok jumped off the platform, his shocked expression was the last thing Minseok remembered before he jolted awake scream halfway out of his throat. 

 

 

The room was dark and Minseok's breathing was labored, border-lining panicked. He was finally awake. Where was Luhan? His heart rate spiked up as he rolled over to the edge of the bed, he paused when he saw Luhan's silhouette on the mattress. Safe. He sat up slowly shirt sticking to his sweaty back, he took a deep breath trying to calm himself. Why now? Why today? His nightmares stopped as soon as he came back to China, what triggered them today? He reached over his shoulder flinching as he ran a hand over his shoulder blade, at the reminder that everything that happened was real and not a dream like he wanted it to be. His breathing was still ragged, coming out quick and uneven further fueling his anxiety. Alarms went off in his head demanding him to get a grip before he succumbed to a panic attack. Luhan was safe- he told himself, patting a hand over his hammering heart trying to calm it. Luhan was-

 

"You alright?" He jumped visibly startled at Luhan's voice, the other sounded alert as if he had been awake for a while. Minseok averted his eyes to his lap not wanting Luhan to see the state he was in. He was older now, he should have been able to brush the nightmares off like they were nothing. 

 

"I'm fine, sorry for waking you up," even in the darkness he could feel Luhan's eyes on him. He heard Luhan get up and felt the edge of the mattress dip. 

 

"I'm fine," Minseok repeated weakly allowing Luhan to push him back onto his back, moving him to the middle of the bed. He felt Luhan settle himself beside him over the covers. A hand came up to rest on his head, Minseok flinched shoulders tensing up at the contact. Luhan didn't allow the reaction to dissuade him, he moved his hand Minseok's head slowly. Letting his fingers run through the other’s hair. His other hand came up to rest above Minseok’s thundering heart,

 

“I’m here,” Luhan whispered, “It’s fine-“ his voice caught in his throat betraying his emotions, “It was just a dream,”

 

He kept on murmuring until he felt Minseok’s heartbeat return to a normal pace. Minseok’s eyes were wide as he stared at the ceiling, Luhan could tell he was afraid of falling back to sleep. Afraid of falling back into the nightmare.  He started to hum, he felt Minseok’s head turn to look at him.

 

“The moon is bright,” Luhan started voice gentle, lullaby ingrained into his brain after years of hearing it throughout his childhood, “the wind is quiet, The cradle moving softly,” his through Minseok’s hair slowed down, “my little one, close your eyes, sleep, sleep, dreaming sweet dreams.”

 

His singing eventually died out as Minseok fell asleep, humming taking its place.

 

Luhan didn't return to the mattress that night, he watched Minseok sleep praying that the other wouldn't suffer from another nightmare.

 

"I'm sorry," he whispered knowing exactly what Minseok's dream was about, Luhan too was often plagued by it. He still felt the same terror he did when he saw Minseok jump after him onto the train tracks, instantly penetrating through his grief-fuelled haze. He still lived with the reminder that Minseok could have lost his life as he drove him off the tracks getting injured in his place. He still felt the guilt of making Minseok cry after he swore that he would never allow the other to shed any more tears.

 

 

May 1940

 

Luhan allowed Minseok to tackle him, the two barely dodging the train that would have otherwise crushed them if Minseok were a few seconds slower. There were screams and yells from the bystanders and the deafening screech of the train coming to an abrupt halt, but Luhan heard none of it his focus was on Minseok who had not moved from his position over Luhan after tackling him. Luhan's body hurt all over from the fall and his shirt was torn from where it had caught on a rock during their tumble down the slope near the tracks, but he knew it was Minseok who took the brunt of their fall. 

 

"Xiu-" Minseok lifted his head silencing Luhan, there was already a bruise forming on his left cheek but what had silenced Luhan was the look in the other's eyes. Minseok lifted a palm striking Luhan across the cheek, the force of the slap causing his head to turn to the side. Minseok was undeniably furious, he climbed off Luhan wincing as he did. Luhan's eyes smarted, never in the five years they had known each other outside of defense class had Minseok ever lifted a hand against Luhan.

 

Two uniformed men rushed to their side breaking the tense air between the two. Both boys endured a long scolding and lecture and were even threatened to be suspended when the men found out they were cadets, Luhan barely managed to talk their way out off being suspended as Minseok stayed unhelpfully silent eyes trained on his feet.

 

 Luhan trailed behind Minseok as they walked back to the academy. Minseok's gait was off and for a moment it made Luhan forget about all his problems. It was clear Minseok had sustained great injuries, injuries that he was trying to hide. The elder’s jaw was locked as if he was biting the insides of his cheeks to prevent himself from crying out, the darkness spreading across the back of his uniform made Luhan step closer. He knew it wasn't sweat.

 

The guards were in a state of disarray when they saw Minseok and Luhan's beat up appearances, the two were respected and well known cadets. Thus, making them valuable assets to the academy. Luhan waved them away from him, telling them to attend to the unresponsive Minseok who was immediately carted off to the infirmary. Luhan waited outside the infirmary ignoring the murmurs and gazes of other passing students at his unruly appearance, two nurses came out talking amongst themselves. 

 

"27 stitches to his back, the poor thing won't be able to sleep on it for awhile,"

 

“Apparently the only reason he was able to walk all the way back was because his body was high on adrenaline-“

 

Luhan intercepted the two women,

 

"Tell me everything," he demanded rudeness taking the women by surprise, one frowned at his attitude.

 

"Young man, that is not the way-" she was nudged gently by her friend.

 

"Xiyi, this is Xi Luhan," she interjected softly eyes sad, the angry nurse's demeanor changed.

 

"Oh, I understand-" Luhan's hands clenched at his sides, he didn't need anyone's pity especially a stranger's,

 

"Tell me about Xiumin," he demanded once more, patience running dangerously thin.

 

"Apart from a few bruises and a sprained ankle, he sustained a deep injury to his back. The doctor thinks that part of the train might have grazed him, but we don't know for sure as the patient isn't talking-" 

 

"He isn't talking?" Luhan frowned as the nurses shook their heads.

 

"All he said was that he wanted to stay in the infirmary overnight which Dr. Ming agreed on. We need to monitor him for any possible internal injuries as well-" Luhan tuned the nurse out glaring at the infirmary doors,

 

"Is he awake?" He cut in, they nodded. He excused himself, gritting his teeth as they spoke about him as he left.

 

He entered the infirmary searching for Minseok, it wasn't hard seeing he was the only patient. Luhan's eyes narrowed when he saw the other was sitting looking out of the window. He approached Minseok drawing the curtains around his window side bed to give them privacy. 

 

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" He questioned, Minseok ignored him eyes trained on the setting sun. Luhan bit his lower lip nervously knowing Minseok's silence only meant that he was still angry. He retrieved the blanket on the bed offering it to Minseok who shook his head,

 

"It'll press on the bandages," Luhan's eyes widened at the answer, he thought Minseok would keep up the silent treatment longer. He placed the blanket over Minseok's lap instead waiting for the other to look at him, Minseok still kept his gaze averted.

 

"I'm sorry," he said hoping that was what Minseok wanted to hear, "I didn't think, my body just reacted-" his heart clenched painfully at the sight of bruises along Minseok’s body, "you got hurt because of me," Minseok finally looked at him, shaking his head.

 

"That's not the apology I want from you," Minseok stood up slowly, pushing away Luhan's hands that tried to assist him, "you should go back to the room-"

 

"Xiumin!" Luhan protested uneasy by the thought of leaving, knowing if he did things between the two might never get better.

 

"Just go-" Minseok's eyes were weary, "I'm exhausted- I don't think I can do this anymore-"

 

"This?" Luhan's brows furrowed, "by 'this' do you mean our friendship?" Luhan started to blink rapidly, the back of his eyes were stinging. 

 

"I've just lost my mother, are you really going-"

 

"Luhan," the way Minseok said his name silenced him, Minseok's eyes were dangerously shiny, "I lost my whole family four months ago... nobody knows what you’re going through better than me!” his tone raised in frustration, he paused, “you said you didn't think… well I thought, a lot. After they died, I couldn't stop thinking! I felt angry! I felt terrified at being alone! But above all I felt guilty, I mean if you think of it I shouldn't even be here!" 

 

Luhan's heart skipped a beat, his chest suddenly felt painfully hollow.

 

"If I were with them and didn't decide to stay with you that night, I wouldn't be here-" 

 

"Minseok," Luhan uttered his friend's real name, not wanting to hear more, "stop-"

 

Minseok continued ignoring Luhan,

 

"I thought of how easy it would have been to just give up, to end everything- it didn't matter as long as I could be with my family again," Luhan felt nervous at the look of longing in Minseok's eyes.

 

"Train tracks, the fifth floor, poison, hanging-" Luhan felt his throat tighten as Minseok listed these things off monotonously, he paused, "I've considered them all, but I held on. I fought! Because you told me countless of times, that even if they weren't here- you were," Minseok's voice wavered, Luhan's eyes widened as a tear ran down Minseok's cheek. 

 

"I can't do this, Luhan. I can't lose anyone else- I can't lose you-" Luhan took a step forward cautiously. When Minseok didn't move, he drew the boy closer mindful of his injuries. He wrapped his arms around him protectively as he apologized again. 

 

"I'm here. I'll always be here," he promised feeling Minseok's frame shake against him, he the top of Minseok's head, "I'm sorry," he repeated because he was, the full weight of his actions finally hitting him at once. Minseok would have been devastated and his father- his father would have crumbled. Tears left his eyes as well, he hid his face in Minseok's shoulder.

 

"I'm sorry," he felt Minseok’s arms circle around his torso,

 

"It's okay, as long as we have each other it'll be alright-" Minseok whispered trying to convince the both of them. Minseok was right, the two were inseparable. Spending every hour together if it was possible, they were closer than they had been years prior, bond tightening to a frightening degree.

 

It came as a shock to all when Luhan allowed Minseok to leave after graduation, they were so sure Minseok would continue his studies with Luhan. But they didn't know that Luhan had never meant for their separation to be final, he would be reunited with Minseok one way or another, he would make sure of that.

 

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A/N: Hey guys, not so satisfied by this chapter but didnt want you all to wait longer than you have already. So here it is :) I'll come back to edit any mistakes later. Hope you enjoyed reading it <3

P.S I might be putting up another chapter this week if all goes well :D