Tears of an Angel - Pairing: Yadong, Genres: Supernatural, Drama, Angst, Words: 8 210, Release Date: 30.09.2016
Synopsis: Lee Howon felt like someone was watching over him and he was right. His guardian angel was always by his side.

We all have a Guardian Angel who is loving, kind and caring, who'll be there when we need someone to share the load we're bearing.





Howon always wondered why he was the only different one. Why did all other kids at his age have two loving parents and he had none? Why did the other kids brag about what a great cook their mother was and he had never even had the chance to taste his mother’s cooking? Why did the other kids go to parks to play football with their fathers and the only thing Howon’s dad wanted was for him to disappear? Why did he have to feel so miserable, unwanted, hated, lonely?

Howon believed that if his mother was still alive, things would’ve been different. His father would have treated him warmly and his mother was going to be the kindest person ever. A normal family, a happy childhood was everything the little boy ever wanted, but his wish couldn’t be granted. Not when his mother was buried underground, not when his father despised him with all his might, not when he was always blamed for everything. Nobody was there to tell him otherwise and with time he learnt to accept the reality – that he was indeed the one who was always wrong, the one who never did anything right…

The one who took his own mother’s life away.





Howon was 6 years old when he first noticed that someone was watching over him.


He was out late at night, sitting on a bench in a park. He heard the bushes behind him move and he turned around. At first he got scared, because he thought that someone was going to kidnap him or hurt him. But the rustling stopped and heaved a sigh of relief, thinking that it was just some stray animal. He didn’t move from the bench for about one more hour, but then he sneezed. The boy wrapped his arms around his body and hugged himself. It was November after all and he was just wearing a thin jacket. He bit on his bottom lip and went over the options he had. He was actually currently on the run. Yes, he ran away from home and he believed that nobody was even going to notice his disappearance or miss him, so in the afternoon he grabbed his backpack and stuffed it with some clothes and the edible food he could find in the fridge. However now he was wondering if he would even be able to spend the night here.

It’s so cold and I have no money. My food will end soon as well. What to do? I can’t go back home. No, I don’t want to! Mom, what should I do? Please, help me. I am so confused.

‘Go Home.’

Howon’s head snapped back and he eyed the bushes that had moved a while ago. W-what did I just hear? The boy quickly got up from the bench and headed towards the place where the voice came from. “I-is anyone there?” Howon reached out and just as his hand was about to brush over the bushes the voice called out again.

‘Go Home.’

The boy gasped in surprise and fell backwards on his . Now he was starting to get scared for real. Who was talking to him? Why was this person telling him to go back to the place he hated the most?? Would this person do something bad to him, if he stayed? Maybe he was a homeless man who usually slept right in this park? Maybe he believed it was his territory and Howon was an intruder? What would happen to him if he decided to stay here? The boy quickly got up and grabbed his backpack, he ran out of the park without looking back.

Being in that horrible place, called ‘home’ was still better than being dead, right?





Howon was in 4th grade when he felt that strange presence again and that was when he realized that all those years ago, back at that cold park, it wasn’t a homeless man who chased him away. It was someone else, something else.


Howon wasn’t really liked by his classmates, they all knew about his family situation – no mother, a simple factory worker as a father. The boy wasn’t very sociable and he didn’t even know how to smile properly. There was nobody at home to wash his clothes or tidy his room, so he had to do it by himself. Sometimes there were holes in his pants or shirts and his shoes always looked so outworn and dirty, the other kids avoided him and honestly – he couldn’t blame them. If he was in their situation, he was probably going to ignore or even hate the boy called ‘Lee Howon’ as well. Luckily for him, no one bullied him. He didn’t know if the other kids were afraid of him (he had quite fierce looking eyes) or simply cared so little about his existence, it was all good in his eyes though. He didn’t need their attention. However, words could cut deeper than a knife and Howon became aware of that a way too late.



It was raining heavily outside, Howon stood at the main door of the school and looked at his hand. Ah, I forgot my umbrella in the classroom. The boy ran back to the direction of the room, but when he reached the door he froze when he heard two of his classmates talking about him.

“Did you know that Howon’s father hasn’t come to a single parent’s meeting?”

“Wow, really? He must be really busy, he is a factory worker after all! He has such a prestigious and demanding job!”

Both boys laughed out loud and Howon clenched his fists, he knew that their words were said in a sarcastic manner.

“No, no.” The taller boy continued. “I heard that his father actually hates him!”

As he heard that, Howon was about to run away as far and as fast as he could, but the boy’s next words made him do something completely different.

“I think his mother was one of those, you know… women who sleep with other men as well. Maybe Howon’s father isn’t actually his-”

The boy couldn’t continue his words, as Howon hit him right on the face. The taller boy stumbled back and fell down, Howon straddled him and continued with his well aimed punches at the other’s face. The boy was whining below him, while his other classmate was trying to stop Howon by grabbing his arms, but he couldn’t. Howon was too angry, he was going to teach this kid a lesson! How could he talk so carelessly about his mother?! Nobody could stop him, nobody could-

‘Stop it. This isn’t like you, Howon.’

The boy’s eyes widened when he heard the voice, he could never forget it – it was the same voice as the one in the park. He halted his moves and looked around, but there was nobody in the room except for him and his two classmates. Howon side-glanced the boy who had tried to stop him – he now looked calmer, but too afraid to approach him. After that Howon’s eyes travelled to the boy below him, he wasn’t sure if he was unconscious or he was just playing pretend, but there was blood oozing from his mouth and that’s when Howon felt the stinging pain on his hands. He looked at them and saw that they were covered in blood as well, some probably belonged to his classmate but the bigger amount was his, his knuckles were bruised, his hands as well as his heart hurt like hell.

'You shouldn’t have done that.'

The voice spoke again and Howon instantly raised his head, again he could see no one but the image of his bleeding classmate along with the other one – pale as a sheet, finally got to him and he quickly got up. He didn’t even take his umbrella, which was the reason he came back in the first place and he also left his backpack at the door of the classroom. He ran towards the rooftop and was relieved to find that it wasn’t locked. It was still pouring like crazy, but Howon couldn’t care less. He fell on the ground, the rain soaking his clothes, hot tears falling down his cheeks. He wanted the unbearable pain in his chest to disappear. I never meant to hurt anyone, I just-

‘I know, but your mother would have been very sad if she had witnessed that scene.’

Howon started crying even harder when he heard that, he didn’t even dare to open his eyes, because he knew he wasn’t going to see anybody on the rooftop, it was just him, he knew it.

“Am I going crazy?” He mumbled and feared the answer he would get.

He heard a faint chuckle, along with a short reply. ‘No.’

That couldn’t cease Howon’s cries, it only made them louder. “Then who are you? What are you?”

Nobody answered to his question and the boy finally opened his eyes, he scanned the area and as he had expected – he was alone. He looked at his hands and there was no longer blood on it. The rain washed it away. I wish it could do the same to all the pain I’m feeling. Howon was about to get up and head inside the school again, when the voice spoke again and those words – they changed his life.

‘Don’t live recklessly. You owe us that much – to me and to your mother.’





Howon was in his first year of high school when he finally met him – his guardian angel.


Howon was no longer a kid, he was now a man and as he was growing up he realized that if nobody needed him and loved him, he just had to find a person to love, need and take care of. He still remembered that rainy day, as if it was yesterday and the things he had done back then still haunted him. And the voice… those words that it uttered, Howon thought about it over and over again and he tried his best to change himself. He practiced smiling in front of the mirror, he tried to make friends and he managed, it was a nice feeling – to longer feel completely alone. He even started taking school more seriously and his grades got much better, he never got a praise from his father though, but he wasn’t doing it to get the man’s approval anyway – he was doing it for himself. But he could never stop wondering – who exactly was the person who talked to him? Maybe it was a ghost? That would make sense, since he could only hear him (it), but never actually saw the source of the voice. However after some time he started considering other options, because the voice only helped him when he was in danger or when he was doing something bad – like the time when he ran away from home, god knows what could have happened to him if he had spent the night at that park or when he was beating up his classmate, Howon didn’t even want to imagine the consequences,  if the voice hadn’t stopped him on time. Years passed and Howon craved to hear that voice again and one day he finally came up with a plan.


Howon steadily grabbed the railing, excitement and a little bit of fear filling him up. I hope this works out. He was currently on one of the many bridges above Han river, he chose one that wasn’t as popular and wasn’t close to his home, because he didn’t want to risk being seen by someone he knew or any other person in general. He looked around one final time and saw that he was alone, except for the very few passing cars. He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes.

“I know you are there! I get the feeling that even though you never spoke to me again, you were always here, I could feel it, that you were watching over me. So come out! I want to see you!”

Howon yelled with all his might, trying to make his point. He was going to meet that person tonight, no matter what! However 5 minutes passed, then 10, 15 and nothing happened. I can’t be wrong, right? He has to be here! Howon really didn’t want to go that far, but he knew that if he wanted to hear that voice again he had to be in danger, to be doing something bad or stupid and right now – he was doing them all at once. He glanced around himself again and lifted up one of his legs, successfully transferring it to the other side of the railing.

“If you don’t come out, I swear I will jump!”

No answer followed, simply nothing and Howon was starting to think that this was all a very bad idea, but he was determined. He was about to move his other leg and fully stand on the other side of the bridge, when someone grabbed him and pulled him away from the railing. Howon lost balance and fell backwards, colliding with the person who had just practically saved his life. He was about to groan in pain due to the impact of the fall, but then the person wrapped his arms around his body and when Howon heard that voice, his heart skipped a beat.

“I told you not to live recklessly, didn’t I? What are you doing all of a sudden? You almost gave me a heart attack.”

The voice spoke in a calm manner, the person didn’t sound angry at all, just very upset. Howon didn’t dear to turn around, but his mind pointed out the fact that someone was actually hugging him. He could feel it, which meant that he wasn’t crazy and whoever was behind him was no ghost.

“You came.” He whispered after a few minutes of complete silence, the only sounds which could be heard were the passing cars and the breathing of the two boys.

“I am always here.”

Howon smiled at that, he was right after all – that person never left his side. “You’ve been watching over me all these years?” A hum was the reply he got and seeing that the stranger finally had the intention to talk to him, Howon got more courageous. “Who are you? W-what are you? Why are you always trying to protect me??” The grip around his body got stronger and the person who was holding him buried his head in his shoulder.

“That’s what I do. Keeping you safe is my job.”

“What do you mean by that?” Howon asked, as he finally dared to turn around and when he did, he saw the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen, the most dazzling smile that could exist and the most breathtaking person, who seemed like anything, but a real man.

“Because I am your guardian angel.”

An angel? Yes, you really do look like one.



“Well, this is it. That’s my house.” Howon said, as he stopped in front of the front door. The lights were not on, as per usual and he knew that his father was once again out.

“I know.” The other boy answered.

“Are you sure you’re not a stalker or something?”

The boy laughed at Howon’s remark and stepped closer. “Well, I never let you out of my sight so yeah, you can call me a stalker.”

That laugh made Howon’s heart beat faster, he really liked it and he was totally not crept out by his so called stalker, he knew that the boy meant no harm, he really was trying to protect him.

“I just wanted to walk you home.” The angel said with a smile on his face.

“Are you really always around me?” Howon questioned, as he stared at the other’s face, he just couldn’t tear his eyes away.

“Yes.”

“That’s not fair.” The angel tiled his head in a questioning manner, not understanding Howon’s words. “You got to see all of me, all those years, but I am seeing you for the first time. Why didn’t you show yourself sooner?”

“We are not supposed to come in contact with humans.”

“Even though you are my guardian angel?”

“Especially, because of that.” The angel noticed the vivid sadness on the other boy’s face and caressed his cheek as gently as possible. “I’m really sorry, Howon-ah. I know how lonely you felt all those years and I should’ve helped you more, but I wanted you to achieve everything on your own – to learn how to smile, to make friends, to learn from your mistakes. It’s your life after all, I am not supposed to interfere with it too much. But you succeeded and I am so proud of you. You really did well, Howon-ah.”

Howon really wanted to cry, but he was a man now so he suppressed his tears. Nobody had ever looked at him with such warm eyes, nobody had ever told him that he did well. Those words made him really happy and proud of himself as well, because he really had changed. But he didn’t do it alone, the angel’s last words from that rainy day made him reconsider everything, it was with his help that he was able to change.

“I guess I should get going.”

Howon was snapped from his thoughts and saw that the other boy was indeed leaving. He ran after him and grabbed his arm. “W-wait!” The other stopped and turned around. “Um…” Howon didn’t want to sound like a clingy person, he really wasn’t, but he didn’t want to other to leave so soon. “Will I see you again?” The angel smiled again and Howon wondered if he was doing it on purpose, because it certainly had an effect on his heart.

“I told you that I’m always around, just think about me and I’ll come. My cover was blown up, I really had no intention to ever show myself, but you and your stupid trick.” Howon lowered his head and let go of the angel’s arm. “I know you had no intention to jump off that bridge, but what you did was really dangerous. Promise me, you’ll never do something like that again.”

“I promise.” Howon mumbled under his breath and seconds later he felt the angel’s soft fingers on his head, patting him in a loving manner. He slowly lifted his head up and a question appeared in his mind, as he set his eyes on the other’s face. “You never told me your name. Do you have one?”

“Yes, it’s Dongwoo.”

“Dongwoo…” Howon repeated with a smile on his face.




From that day on, Dongwoo visited every day simply because Howon thought about him all the time and as he had promised he appeared every time, only when Howon was alone of course. They spent hours and hours together – sometimes they watched a movie, other times Dongwoo just observed Howon, as he did his homework. Dongwoo liked sharing stories of Howon’s childhood, memories that even the boy had forgotten, embarrassing ones they were… so he had erased them from his memory for a reason, but Dongwoo kept talking about them over and over again, engraving each word in the human’s memory. Howon loved the angel’s voice, it was soothing and he could listen to it all day. Dongwoo always smiled for him, he was excited about every conversation they had and Howon was glad that he wasn’t the only one who was looking forward to their next meeting. He thought that being the awkward and