~*~무한대 (mu-han-dae) n: the state or quality of being infinite~*~

Infinity (symbolically represented by a ∞) is a concept in mathematics and philosophy that refers to a quantity without bound or end. People have developed various ideas thoughout history about the nature of infinity. The word comes from the Latin word ‘infinitas’ or ‘unboundless’

Chapter 3

미안하다 (mi-an-ha-da) v.  to be sorry

When Sungjong woke up, he felt warm despite the frozen feeling that had spread across his chest. Warm fingers were gently brushing through his hair, calming him down a bit. Still, Sungjong didn’t open his eyes, longing to sleep for just a bit longer. 

“Sungyeol?” someone called out and the hand that had settled through his hair stopped its soothing movements. 

“Hello, Eomoni,” a farmiliar voice, Sungyeol’s voice, said. “I’m sorry for your loss, if there’s anything that I or the other members can do, please let us know. We’ll help in anyway.”

“Thank you.” Sungjong finally recognized his mother-in-law’s voice. “Just for now, take care of Sungjong. Is he okay?”

“He wasn’t hurt in the car crash,” Sungyeol answered. “But... Sungjong needs rest now.”

Daeun’s mother let out a small sigh and Sungjon felt her gently touch his cheek. “I said goodbye to Daeun. Would you tell Sungjong that I will take care of the funeral arrangments so that he can look after Mihee?”

Sungyeol replied, but Sungjong didn’t hear him, his heart filling with pain at the mention of his lost wife. He didn’t realize that tears were falling down his cheeks until he heard Sungyeol’s voice calling his name.   

“Sungjong? Jjongie?”

Sungjong pushed away Sungyeol’s hands and curled up on his side, muffling his cries into the blanket. Hiding under the blanket nearly made him feel safe and sheltered from the world, but the pain was too much and Sungjong couldn’t help the sobs that were escaping.  

“Oh, Sungjong, sweetheart,” Daeun’s mother said gently. “It’s okay, come here.”

He didn’t protest as she pulled down the blankets and gathered him into her arms, gently hushing him and rocking him back and forth. Sungjong wished that his own mother was there to hug him and tell him that everything was going to be okay, but she had passed away a couple of years ago. Thinking of his mother and Daeun’s mother’s soothing actions only made him cry harder, choking on his breath. 

“Sungjong-ah, Sungjong-ah...”

Sungjong reached out behind him blindly to grab Sungyeol’s hand and pull him closer. His warm breath tickled his ear, calming Sungjong a bit more with his warm chuckle.  “Sungjong-ah. It’s okay. I’ll take care of you.”

“Where’s Mihee?” Sungjong whispered. 

Brushing back Sungjong’s hair, Sungyeol whispered in his ear, “She’s with the doctors.  Just rest for now.”

“I want to see her,” Sungjong begged. “Let me see her.”

Somehow, Sungyeol seemed to understand and helped him stand up.The three of them headed to the NICU, walking slowly as Sungjong’s legs were shaking badly. 

“Mr. Lee?” someone called out as they reached the NICU. 

Sungjong turned around to see a nurse and a doctor coming up to him. “Hello,” he said with a bow. 

“I’m Doctor Park, I’ll be your child’s physician, and this is Nurse Lee, she’s the head nurse in the NICU,” the doctor introduced herself and the nurse. “I’d like to speak to you about Mihee.”

“Of course,” Sungjong said, looking over at Sungyeol who quietly pointed down the hall to where he would be waiting as Daeun’s mother went in to see Mihee. 

“Thank you for looking after Mihee,” Sungjong said. “How is she doing?”

“She’s doing fine for now,” Dr. Park said, leading him to sit down on a chair on the side of the hall. “But there is something that I need to say.”

“Yes? Is she okay?”  

With a little hesitation, Dr. Park continued, “Mihee’s DNA test predicted that in her life because of her premature birth that she will be vunreble to diseases-”

“I don’t care about that science,” Sungjong said bravely. 

“Mr Lee, the DNA test correctly predicts-”

“Innovations is what got us into this mess,” he hissed out. “All those press reps that went on and on about how safe and innovational these self driving cars are! And then they go wrong and kill my wife! There’s supposed to be technology that would save her, but nothing could! Technology isn’t aways the answer! There can be a chance that these DNA tests are wrong too!”

Sungjong ignored what Dr. Park called after him, not waiting for Sungyeol as Sungyeol yelled his name, and hurried down the hall, panic gripping his chest because even though he had argued with confidence, he couldn’t ignore the shadows reaaching out towards him, threatening to drown him if he let go for a even second.

So he kept on running.

He ran blindly through the halls, wishing that he could just run back to the past. Sungjong didn’t see the other person coming the opposite direction as him until he crashed into him.In that short moment, where the other was trying to regain their balance, Sungjong recognized Sunggyu and threw his arms around him, finding a little bit of the past in Sunggyu’s strong arms. 

“Hyung. Hyung,” Sungjong sobbed into Sunggyu’s hospital gown. “Hyung...”

“It’s okay,” Sunggyu whispered, holding him gently. “You’re okay.”

Crying in his arms, Sungjong just clung desperately to the only thing that he felt like he had left. “Hyung. I just want her to come back. Make her come back,” he begged. 

Sunggyu just held Sungjong, singing in his ear, calming him down. 

Somewhere up there, there’s an angel

Singing the same songs as I am.

Somewhere up there,

We’ll be free.

“Kim Sunggyu, Nam Woohyun, Lee Sungjong of Infinite and solo artist Moon Daeun involved in a car crash.

Since the year 2017, when the self-driving car was introduced to the general public, it has saved ten of thousands of lives, but on Thursday, a car crash killed three people. 

Due to the rain that evening, the roads were slippery. The driver of the first vehicle was in a car that hasn’t been calibrated properly, causing it to swerve due to the slippery roads. Even with the sensors, the car driving the members of Infinite failed to stop in time as the first car came into on-coming traffic, causing a three car pile-up. 

INFINITE’s car was crushed in the crash, leaving emergancy personel to work for hours to rescue Sunggyu, Woohyun, Sungjong and Daeun out of the car. 

Newly weds of nine months, Sungjong and Daeun were expecting their first child, but fountortunately, the crash claimed the life of Daeun. A Woollim representive had stated that their baby was saved but is in the NICU. In the same statement, it was announced that Sunggyu and Sungjong are okay, the latter nw looking after his new born daughter. So far, there is no more further news about Woohyun’s condition.”  

Hoya nearly threw punched the TV just to shut up the reporter.

It was barely a week since the accident, since their world fell apart. Sungjong was constantly in the hospital, barely able to part himself from Mihee’s side. Sungyeol and Hoya were with Sungjong every second that they could, making sure one of them were beside Sungjong at all times. Myungsoo was running back and forth between the hospital and his home to take care of Nabi while Sookyung was still in Jakarta.  Once he brought Nabi with him, but after she got scared after seeing Woohyun in his condition and couldn’t see Mihee because of her age, Myungsoo started dropping her off at her parents’ house or asking Minseok to look after her for a few hours. Woohyun was still unconsious and Sunggyu hadn’t moved from his side, only going to his hospital room to sleep because a nurse or one of the other members dragged him back. Dongwoo, like Myungsoo, was running back and forth between home, making sure that Yejin was okay with looking after their kids.

Hoya sighed, walking through the doors of the hospital, ready to get home to take a shower and some sleep when someone tapped him on the shoulder.

“Excuse me?  Hoya of Infinite?”

Hoya turned around to find a middle aged man wearing a suit standing behind him.  “No comment,” he replied automatically. 

The man raised his hands, shaking his head.  “I’m not one of the press reporters,” he said,  “but I do want to talk to you.”

Raising his eyebrow, Hoya guestured the man to continue, but ready to leave if he turned out to be a reporter.

“I’m from a new entertainment company. I heard what happened to Infinite. I hope that your members will recover soon.”

“We’re doing fine, thank you,” Hoya said stiffly. “If that’s all...”

“No.”  The man stopped Hoya from moving and handed him a business card.  “Because of the recent events, we have been wondering if you would like to join us.”

Hoya stared down at the small piece of paper, not quite hearing what the man was saying until his words finally registered. 

“... maybe you’ll like to join our company as a choreographer or a dance tea- hey!”

Not listening to the man’s protests, Hoya dragged him out of the public’s view and pushed him against the wall.  “What the hell are you thinking?” he hissed. 

“Well what are you doing?” the man protested. 

“You think that just because Woohyun is in the hospital that Infinite will fall apart?  You think that just because Mihee might not make it that Sungjong will quit?  I’m never going to leave Infinite, I can’t leave my brothers’ side,” Hoya yelled.  “Never come near any of us again or I will hunt you down and kill you.”

He let go of the man and started to walk away. 

“But, if you ever think about it-”

Hoya gritted his teeth as the man’s hand landed on his shoulder, the business card visible out of the corner of his eye. 

“Think about it.”

The card slid into his front pocket, weighing like the whole world, as the man left, disappearing into the crowd.  As he watched him leave, for a moment, Hoya considered running after him. 

But as soon as the thought crossed his mind, Hoya wanted to kick himself, wondering why he thought for even a moment leaving his brothers behind. 

Strangely, Hoya just stood there for a moment, wondering about what had just happened until someone bumped into him and jolted him out of his thoughts.  He hurried to his car, shutting himself in the shelter of the car, quickly calling the person he knew he could trust. 

“Hyung?” Hoya asked as the other picked up.  “Where are you?”

It took a moment for the answer and Hoya promised that he would be there.  A short car ride later, Hoya jumped out of the car and glanced around before he spotted who he was looking for. 

“Sunggyu-hyung,” Hoya called out. 

Sunggyu looked up from where he was sitting on a curb, his arms wrapped around his legs.  “Hey, Howon,” he said warmly. 

Easing himself down on the sidewalk beside him, Hoya jokingly said, “This is where you always run off to.”

Sunggyu nodded, staring across the street at a kareoke bar.  “Yeah, I guess so.”

“What are you doing out here?” Hoya asked, looking up at the sky.  It was about eight, but the sky was dark due to the rain clouds hanging over Seoul. 

“Thinking,” Sunggyu answered simply, following Hoya’s gaze to the sky.  “It’s been a long few days.”

“I know... You aren’t with Woohyun tonight?”

“The doctors sent me home,” Sunggyu said with a chuckle.  “Something about spending too much time in the hospital when I’m not a patient.”

Hoya laughed, not pointing out that Sunggyu wasn’t home. “Did the doctors tell you when he might wake up?”

Sunggyu shrugged. “They aren’t worried that he’s in a coma or anything. I guess that hit to the head did a lot.”

“You’re doing fine too, right?” Hoya asked. 

With a sigh, Sunggyu rubbed his temples.  “Urgh, Howon, when did our lives get this messed up?”

Hoya leaned his chin on his hand, feeling more depressed than when he first joined Sunggyu there. “I have no idea.”

“All of this is happening so fast,” Sunggyu complained. “First the car crash, then Daeun passed away. Woohyun won’t wake up. And Mihee’s in the NICU...”

Hoya nodded as Sunggyu listed off all the problems, just letting Sunggyu talk through all of the things as he had done many times in the past. 

“It’s Nabi’s birthday soon,” Sunggyu mused. “I’ll need to get her a birthday present. Last year, I got her that new doll, maybe this year-”

“Hyung,” Hoya interrupted. “Are you drunk?”

Sunggyu laughed, but nodded. “Just a little bit,” he admitted. “I was drinking before, then I thought that this isn’t the moment that I want to get drunk, so I came here to think instead.”

“Great plan,”  Hoya said sarcastically. 

Pushing Hoya’s shoulder, Sunggyu continued, “Why are you here? It sounded like you needed to talk about something.”

“Oh...”  He had forgotten about his troubles as Sunggyu listed off the other member’s worried. “It’s nothing. I was worried about you, hyung.”

Not hearing his lie, Sunggyu smiled. “Thanks. I’m okay, a little drunk, but I’m fine.”

“Umma! Beggars! Beggars!”

The two of them looked up as a little kid called out to his mother before his mother hurried him away, shooting an apologetic glance at Hoya and Sunggyu, but Hoya had to laugh, Sunggyu chuckling as well. 

“More than seventeen years later and yet we are still beggars,” Sunggyu said with a small smile. 

Before Hoya could say anything else, a big raindrop landed on his hand and as he looked up, the rain started running down harder. Sunggyu laughed, raising his hands over his head for a little shelter. “I guess we should head inside,” he commented. 

“Yeah,” Hoya agreed, but didn’t move for a moment and neither did Sunggyu. 

“Still want to think?” Sunggyu asked. 

Hoya nodded slowly, not looking up at Sunggyu. 

As suddenly as the rain had started, there was suddenly no rain falling on his head and when he looked up, Sunggyu was holding an umbrella over their heads.

Smiling, Sunggyu shifted closer so that they could share the umbrella. “Then let’s sit here and think for a little while longer.”

With a grateful smile, Hoya looked into the rain, wondering how the world could soon be okay.

“Sungjong-ah... Sungjongie.  Wake up.”

Sungjong blinked open his eyes, shaking his head a couple of times to get rid of the sleepiness to find Dongwoo peering into his face with a smile. “Come on,” Dongwoo continued as he saw that Sungjong was awake. “We’re at my house, let’s go and get some sleep and food into you.”

With a little smile, Sungjong followed Dongwoo into Dongwoo’s house. 

“Yejinnie! I’m home,” Dongwoo called out quietly in case Haneul and Sora were sleeping. “Sungjong is with me.”

“Oh! Sungjongie!” Yejin came out of the kitchen with Sora balanced on her hip.  “You feeling okay?”

Sungjong smiled and accepted her hug as he replied, “Yeah, I guess I am.”

“Any thing you need, we’ll be here for you,” Yejin promised. 

“I know, thanks.” Sungjong tried to smile, but by the looks on Dongwoo and Yejin’s faces, he knew that he wasn’t very sucsessful. 

“Want to eat first? Or take a nap first?” Dongwoo checked. “Actually, you need to take a shower. Go. Go take a shower, I’ll make some food and then you can get some sleep.”

Sungjong laughed as Dogwoo pushed him towards the shower. Yejin lead him down the hall, talking as she did. 

“I’m not sure if you’ll fit any of Dongwoo’s clothes, there might be something you can wear, I’ll find something for you while you’re in the shower and Sora will help, won’t you? Feel free to use whatever soaps we have in the shower. I’ll find you a toothbrush as well. You need to freshen up, so shower – here’s a towel – give me your clothes after you’re out of the shower and I’ll put them in the wash for you. You’re a bit taller than Dongwoo, but I think he still has some of the others’ clothes buried around here somewhere. I’ll be right back with fresh clothes and a tooth brush.”

Sungjong smiled as Yejin pushed him into the bathroom, telling Sora to wave goodbye to Sungjong as she closed the door behind her. With a sigh, Sungjong tried to ignore the stabbing pain in his chest.

Sungjong carefully took off his clothes – he was sure he had been wearing the same ones for the past four days at least – folding them neatly before stepping into the shower. It was nice to finally get into a shower, washing away some of the stress that was resting on his shoulders. It was easier to fool himself that he wasn’t crying when the shower water fell down his cheeks as well as his tears. Quickly rubbing shampoo into his hair, Sungjong could barely keep the sob from coming out. His chest ached form keeping the sobs in as soap ran down his shoulders in currents, sweeping away down the drain. 

Unable to stand any more, Sungjong curled up in a little ball under the warm water of the shower and cried. Despite his best attempts at staying quiet, Dongwoo must have heard him because a couple of moments later, Dongwoo’s warm arms wrapped around Sungjong’s shivering body and he quietly whispered, “It’s okay,” into Sungjong’s ears.  Sungjong couldn’t reply through his tears as Dongwoo finishes washing him, calmly humming as he washed Sungjong’s back. Somehow, it slowly calmed Sungjong and he finally managed to lift his gaze to meet Dongwoo’s eyes.

“Come on, Sungjong-ah,” Dongwoo said with a small smile. “Maybe you should get some sleep before you eat.”

Sungjong’s legs felt shaky as Dongwoo helped him stand up and get out fo the shower.  Dongwoo helped him dress into the clothes that Yejin managed to find and sent Sungjong to the guest bedroom as he went to go change out of his wet clothes. Sungjong sat numbly on the edge of Dongwoo’s guest bed, looking blankly at his phone, staring at the pictures of him and Daeun, the sonogram of Mihee and old pictures of Infinite from when they were young. 

“Sungjong-ah,” Dongwoo called out quietly, kneeling down in front of him and gently rubbing his thighs in a soothing manner. “Sungjong-ah. Please tell me what you’re thinking.”

Hiccupping, Sungjong tried to find something to say, but the only thing he say could was, “I have no pictures of Mihee.”

“What?”

“I ony have this sonogram,” Sungjong mumbled. “Daeun and I really wanted lots of pictures of Mihee,  She was into photography as much as Myungsoo and as sentimental as Woohyun, of course she wanted those baby photos... and now I have none. I don’t even have her.”

Dongwoo brought Sungjong into his arms, hushing him quietly like he did when Sora or Gyueongwoo throwing a fit, but Sungjong mind, finding it comforting. He pressed his face into Dongwoo’s broad and welcoming shoulder. Yejin must have made him do his laundry recently as his shirt smelled like detergent, unlike the old days when Dongwoo wouldn’t do his laundry until Myungsoo was tired of the laundry piling up in the corner of their room and did Dongwoo’s laundry for him.   

The rain outside drummed down on the windows and Sungjong couldn’t stop crying.  Somewhere else in the house, he heard Sora or Haneul start crying too. Afraid that Dongwoo was going to leave to go get his baby, Sungjong tightened his grip on Dongwoo’s shirt, begging him silently not to leave. Dongwoo chuckled and adjusted his arms around Sungjong, holding him closer. 

“It’s okay, Sungjong-ah,” Dongwoo whispered in his ear. “I’ll be here when you wake up too. I promise. Then we’ll go take a lot of pictures of Mihee for Daeun, okay?”

“Okay,” Sungjong mumbled sleepily as Dongwoo helped him under the covers, giving him a small kiss on the cheek. 

“Sleep well, Sungjong-ah.”

“Hello, I’m home,” Myungsoo called as he took off his shoes in the front hall. 

“Appa!” Nabi came running down the hall in her pajamas, throwing her arms around Myungsoo’s neck as he knelt down to greet her.  “Guess what!”

“What is it?” Myungsoo asked, carrying her towards the kitchen, but as soon as he got there, he knew what she was going to say.

“Umma’s home!” Nabi said redundantly as Myungsoo only had eyes for his wife. 

“Sookyung-ah,” Myungsoo said soflty, setting Nabi down on her feet.

“Hey, Myungsoo,” she said, setting down a cup of tea that she was hodling just in time as Myungsoo swept her up into a hug, unable to let go. 

“I missed you,” Myungsoo mumbled into her hair. “I missed you so much.”

Sookyung laughed and patted his back. “I know.”

Before they could continue their conversation, Nabi interuppted as she said, “Appa!  Look at this picture that I drew today!”

Myungsoo relucantly pulled away from Sookyung, but keeping an arm wrapped around her waist, to look at Nabi who was holding a picture up to him. “Wow, looks very pretty.”

Nabi giggled and pointed to the picture. “This is me and this is you and this is Umma,” she said, pointig to each part of the picture. “We’re at the sea! Now that Umma’s home, we can go, can’t we?”

“Of course, your Umma won’t leave us, will she?”

With a small laugh, Sookyung said, “Come on, Nabi, it’s your bedtime now. Kiss Appa good night.”

“Good night, Appa!” Nabi said as Myungsoo knelt down to kiss her. 

“Good night, princess.” Myungsoo smiled as he watched Sookyung and Nabi go down the hall to her bedroom, then he headed into the master bedroom to wait for Sookyung.  It didn’t take very long for Sookyung to come into their room and immediately, Myungsoo rushed up and kissed her. “Sookyung,” he mumbled in relief. “I missed you.”

She did kiss back once, but tried to push him away, saying, “Myungsoo, I need to talk to you.”

Maybe it was because he had missed her so much, Myungsoo missed the urgent tone in Sookyung’s voice. So instead, shaking his head, Myungsoo brought her closer as he kissed her neck gently.  “It can wait until morning,” he whispered. 

“It really can’t,” Sookyung said, pushing at him again to get his attention. “Myungsoo!  I’m moving!”

That got Myungsoo’s attention. “What?” he asked, taking a step back and accidently tripping over the bed, falling onto his back. “Moving?”

“In a week, I’m moving,” Sookyung repeated, knowing that she had Myungsoo’s attention now, as she helped Myungsoo into a sitting position to sit next to him.  “I got a job offer in Paris.”

“Paris?” Myungsoo yelped, only barely keeping his voice down as not to wake Nabi in the next room.   “What do you mean Paris? France, Paris?”

“It’s a job as the head designer at a fashion company,” Sookyung explained. “It’s everything that I ever wanted.”

“But... but what about Nabi?” Myungsoo asked. “You can’t just leave her.”

“I’m going to take Nabi with me.”

“WHAT?” This time Myungsoo couldn’t keep his voice down and instead, he jumped up and paced the room. “You... what?”

“I’m going to take Nabi with me,” she said again. 

“B-b-but how much have you thought about this?” Myungsoo asked, his mind going around in circles. “Nabi’s whole life is here! She’s going to start kindergarten soon! She has friends here, she has family here, she has me here...”

Sookyung avoided Myungsoo’s gaze as slowly he figured it out. 

“What about me?” he asked quietly. “Are... you going to leave me?”

“I want you to come, Myungsoo,” Sookyung said, reaching out towards him. “Please Myungso, come with me to Paris.”

“You can’t... you can’t just jump this on me!” Myungsoo said, rubbing his hands through his hair. “You know that Infinite is going to have a comeback soon. I-I-I... Everything for me is here!”

“I know, but please, come with me.”

“No, and I don’t want you to take Nabi either,” Myungsoo said. “You can... you could fly back and forth. You could come and visit us often.”

“Myungsoo, that isn’t going to work. I won’t be able to come back to Korea, but I will be home more often than you, so I can take care of Nabi if she comes with me,” Sookyung said logically. “You’re always on a busy schedule and she barely sees you—”

“You haven’t been home in a month!” Myungsoo said furiously. “You haven’t been home in a month!”

“Last world tour you didn’t come home for two months!” Sookyung shot back. “And before you left, you were hardly avalible for anything because you were always so busy practicing!”

Myungsoo opened his mouth once and closed it again, trying to formulate words. “I-I-I could change my schedules so I’ll be home more often!  I could...”

“You can’t do anything,” Sookyung cut him off. “Nothing is going to change. You’re always going to be an idol and I need to take this opporunity.”

“But... it’s Paris,” Myungsoo said softly, sitting down on the other side of the bed from Sookyung, his legs unable to hold him up any longer. After a moment of silence, he said, “Neither of us are going to let go of our dreams, are we?”

He didn’t look up, but he knew that Sookyung was shaking her head. 

“So...” she said slowly. “It’s either Nabi and I or Infinite... what are you going to choose?”

Tears were welling up in Myungsoo’s eyes as he shook his head. “Sookyung... that’s like asking me to choose between suffocating or starving,” he whispered. “I’ll die without you and Nabi... and Infinite too.”

Without even having to think, Myungsoo knew his answer even though his heart was being ripped into pieces. 

“Sookyung... I can’t give up on Infinite. I’m sorry. I can’t.”

Everythig hurt.

Everything.

Pain pounded along with his heart beat and...  a beeping?

Slowly, Woohyun’s hearing sharpened to hear a soft beeping around him. Was it his alarm? Did he sleep in? He certianly didn’t remember setting the alarm clock last night. Once he thought about it more, he couldn’t remember getting home the night before.

What happened last night?

Okay, Woohyun think, he told himself sternly in his head. What did you do last night? Last night was the MAMA Ceremony. We performed. We sang Be Mine and our latest song which was...

Woohyun’s breathing picked up as he couldn't remember their last song. Singing was his life, if he couldn’t sing...

His voice seemed non-existant as he tried his best to make a sound. Finally, he made a small sound, barely a squeek, but someone replied.

 “Woohyun?” a farmiliar voice called out.  “Are you okay? Can you hear me?”

Maybe he should answer, but Woohyun could barely keep a grip on consiousness. On the other hand... maybe he should answer.

“Sung...” he groaned. 

He heard a sigh of relief and Sunggyu gripped Woohyun’s hand tightly. “I’m right here,” Sunggyu promised. “Can you open your eyes?”

Slowly, Woohyun opened his eyes slowly, smiling slightly as his eyes focused on Sunggyu in front of him. “Hyung...”

Sunggyu smiled shakily, placing his hand on Woohyun’s forehead.  “Hey, feeling okay?”

Woohyun nodded slowly before his eyes widened and he was trying to sit up.  “Jj-jj-”

“It’s okay, Sungjong is okay,” Sunggyu reassured him.  “We were just waiting for you to wake up, you stupid idiot.”

With a small smile, Woohyun tried to relax, to let the pain fade away.  “Gy... hyu-hyung...”

Sunggyu smiled and nodded. “Yeah,” he mumbled.  “I’m here.”

“Sung...” Woohyun said with a breathy sigh. “Sungye... yeol.”

Wait. Sungyeol? I meant to say Sunggyu.

But Sunggyu didn’t seem to notice anything as he nodded absent mindedly while brushing Woohyun’s hair gently, Sunggyu replied, “He’s with Sungjong now, he hasn’t left Sungjong’s side since he came to the hospital, that stupid kid.”

Woohyun shook his head.  “Sungyeol. Sungjon... Sun-sung-yeo...” Woohyun’s hand shot up and grabbed at his throat. He couldn’t get those two syllables out n the right order. He couldn’t say... “Gy... Sung... jo- No!”

Sunggyu watched him confused as Woohyun’s fingers pressed harder against his neck as if he was trying to push something out of his throat. “Woohyun, what’s wrong?” Sunggyu asked, bringing Woohyun’s hand down from his throat. 

Woohyun’s eyes were filled with panic. “G...” he whispered. “Sung... Sungyeol.”

“Sungyeol is fine,” Sunggyu repeated, trying to soothe away some of Woohyun’s panic.  “Sungyeol is just fine.”

Again, he shook his head.  “Sung... sungye...” He punched Sunggyu’s chest weakly.  “Sung...”

“I’m going to go get the doctor,” Sunggyu said as soothingly as he could as he was panicking himself. “It’s okay.”

“No!” Woohyun yelled, grabbing onto Sunggyu’s sleeve as he tried to stand up.  “S-su-sun-gg...”

Come on.... just say it. Kim Sunggyu hyung. Sung Gyu. Sung GYU.

Sunggyu searched Woohyun’s eyes, trying to figure out why Woohyun was panicking so much.  “It’s okay,” he tried again.  “Sungyeol and Sungjong are fine.  They’re both with Mihee. Myungsoo is at home with Nabi and Dongwoo needed to go pick up Haneul and Sora from his parents’ place. Hoya is getting you something to change into. They’re all fine.”

Woohyun shook his head.  “I... why can’t I...” Woohyun cut himself off with a loud scream.  The scream shattered Sunggyu’s heart and he pulled Woohyun into his arms, smoothing down his hair, trying anything to calm him down.  

“It’s okay, Woohyun-ah,” Sunggyu said, trying to calm him down as he hugged him tightly, just barely muffling Woohyun’s screaming in his shirt.  “It’s okay.  Just breathe.”

“Then why not saying?” Woohyun yelled, horrifed at the broken sentence that came out.  Why can’t I say Sunggyu’s name? His heart screamed the sentence over and over again, but nothing came out right.  “I do this-  can’t... why?”

He was sobbing over and over again, “I can’t, I can’t,” as Sunggyu’s warms arms wrapped around his shoulders and his gentle voice answered, “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

The next hour was a blur. Woohyun couldn’t remember much except for crying a lot and Sunggyu trying his best to calm him down until Woohyun fell asleep. When Woohyun woke up, he found Sunggyu sitting in the chair beside him. “Hyung?” Woohyun asked quietly, feeling relieved at least that word came out right. 

Sunggyu immediately jumped and scrambled to Woohyun’s side. “Are you okay?”

Woohyun nodded, sitting up a bit more. “Hyung...”

Smiling shakily, Sunggyu gently reached out and touched Woohyun’s cheek. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, tears running down his cheek. “Hyung is so sorry.”

“Hyung?” Woohyun asked confused. “What?”

“You hit yoru head in the crash and there’s some brain damage,” Sunggyu stammered. “It’s... you have aphasia. It’s a communication disorder. It’ll make you have difficulties writing and... talking...”

Woohyun’s eyes opened wide and he reached up to touch his throat.  “Talk...”

Sunggyu nodded, trying not to cry, to be brave for Woohyun’s sake, but he couldn’t help the tears running down his cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Woohyun-ah.”

Strangely, Woohyun’s eyes were completely dry as he hugged Sunggyu who was sobbing, clutching onto the back of Woohyun’s hospital gown as he cried, “I’m so sorry, Woohyun. Hyung is so sorry.”

미안하다 (mi-an-ha-da) the only words I can say when I’m the cause of your tears

I hope that this chapter isn't a disappointment or confusing. Sorry for such a long wait for this chapter and I'm sorry to say that the next chapter will probably take just as long, if not longer, because this year, I'm in Advanced Placement Art and I really hope to commit as much time to my art as possible. Also in my free time, I've been hoping to start writing an original novel and motivation to write Infinity is kinda running low, but I promise that I will never abandon this fic, just updates will be very slow. I'm super sorry about this, it's something that I've been thinking about for a long time. 

Please comment, subscribe and upvote. Also, please follow me on my art instagram (I'll follow back), I'll really appreciate the support. 

Thank you. I'll see you around.