here the song  : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xknW3A5LhZ0

It’s been a month right Minho ?

You are everywhere in the flat.

You are in the kitchen opening the fridge, taking a bottle of water, and drinking it. You are helping me cooking the meal, watching behind my back if I don’t burn the meat. You are in front of me watching me eat what I cooked, with that happy mom smile.

You are in the living room playing with your soccer ball, smiling at me like a fool when you miss the ball and almost break something. You are on the sofa watching TV, while hugging me and caressing my back.

You are in the bathroom brushing your teeth in that cute way of yours. You wear only a towel as clothe but you don’t care. You are smiling at the mirror telling that today will be another great day.

You are in our bedroom. Yes you are in the bedroom, trying to find something to wear in the wardrobe. For finally always wear your white shirt, black pants and your adidas shoes. You are in the bed too, you are with me every night. Watching on my night, taking me in your arms, hugging me tightly so I won’t be cold. You are giving me kisses on my forehead, on my cheeks, on my lips. Goodnight kisses are always the best.

You are in the entrance giving me my meal for the day, saying to be careful and to stay safe with your stupid smile. To be careful …

Yes you are everywhere.

It’s been a month Minho. You told me to be careful, to stay safe. Yes you did. So why didn’t you tried to be careful yourself ? Why didn’t you stay safe ? Tell me Minho ?

Tell me why you went out that morning ? Why did you crossed that road without looking at the red light ? Why did you run that fast for finally meet that car ? Why did you leave ?

That morning when I woke up I saw your message on the table. I’ve wait for you until the phone rang. This horrible song. I don’t want to hear it anymore. This song telling me that you won’t ever come home again. That sound telling me that your breath went away from me. That music breaking me into pieces. I ran to you Minho, I ran, you saw it right ? I ran knowing it was too late but I did and I tried to get you back. I screamed, I cried to you. You told me you’ll protect me, that you’ll never leave me alone. You said you’ll always be by my side ! You promise it the day you asked me to marry you. Where are your promises today ?

Yes it’s been a month.

I took off all our pictures because I couldn’t look at it without bursting in tears. I put then in that box you loved so much. I’m still here in that flat but you aren’t. You aren’t really in the kitchen. The opened bottle you drank that morning is still here waiting too. You aren’t cooking with me, neither watching over my shoulders. I’m eating alone in that cold kitchen.

You aren’t in the living room either. Your ball didn’t move since that day. The sofa is so cold and empty

The bathroom is cold and dark. Your toothbrush is dry in its glass and the towels are tidy.

The bedroom. Ah the bedroom , that room I never go in anymore. Too much memories, the days you brought me breakfast in with a flower in a cup, the night we were having like tigers, all the cute cuddles and hugs. I just can’t go in. I stole your white shirt though. You don’t mind right ?

That whole apartment is empty, cold, dark. Everything became dark, but I can’t leave it. It is my only link with you know, my only quiet place out of this messy and scary world.

Do you remember the day we met ? I do. That day I was in a very bad situation. I almost got rapped but you came from nowhere and beat them all saying “get lost would ya ?” to every sentences they would say. You then took me away. We ran for hours without being tired. This is my most precious day. You are my precious journey or you were.

One month, family, neighbours, colleagues, they all tell me to move on, that life goes on. “Life goes on”, what is life without you ? What is life without your laugh, your smile, your hugs, caresses, kisses, touch ? I don’t want that life.

I’m talking to that full moon, hoping you hear me. You do right ? You kept your promise ? You are watching after me from far away right ? Can’t you just come back ? I want you back …