slightly mature chapter ; violence - blood , profanity. 

 

 

 

 

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It’s about the second time for him, ignoring Jongin and all. It’s been a month since his birthday and Jongin hasn’t texted him at all. He knows he should at least go back and try to fix things, but how do you try and fix things with someone when you know they are dead in some sort of sense.

 

You’d think that just refraining from those three words would be enough, but it is more than that.

 

There are so many questions Kyungsoo has and he wishes he knew how to put them in words, knew the words of comfort that he could give to Jongin, but he just clearly didn’t know the history behind it all.

 

It all of this; the building, the stories, Jongin’s life, was a lie - then what was the truth?

 

It was now nearing Valentine’s Day and Kyungsoo is at work as per usual.

 

As he works on his usual business, he ponders on what has happened lately. Was he and Jongin still an item? His absence has been happening for a month and he isn’t sure if the younger male was still waiting around for him these days.

 

He tends to stray away from his usual route to avoid the itch to take a turn at the usual corner, entering that familiar tall building.

 

Today though, he receives a voice message on his break and he isn’t sure if he’s excited or sad about it.

 

Let’s meet up for lunch , hyung. Don’t you get off work early?

 

Indeed he did. He’s not surprised that Jongin remembered his work schedule, since he had such a great memory. But he didn’t think it was such a good idea.

 

He had thoughts that needed answers, but he didn’t want to pressure the younger about it.

 

 

 

 

 

To his luck, Jongin was all prepared for it.

 

Once he gets off to head over to where he lived, Jongin was already waiting outside with a warm smile and a pair of shades. He looked as handsome as ever, but out in the sun and out of the building is where he found Jongin most stunning, adoring the sun kissed skin of his.

 

He wore a nice button up shirt in the color of white with a pair of jeans. With the shades blocking his silver colored eyes, he holds out the bouquet of roses in his hands towards the other.

 

“It’s been awhile, hyung.”

 

Yes, it has.

 

He can’t even find the words to say anything at this moment, taking the roses without a word.

‘I am sorry I missed your birthday.’ He wants to say. ‘I am sorry I left you when you need me. I’m sorry that it’s been a month and I haven’t once tried to reach you back.’

 

“What are you doing out here?” He questions first, looking at the red roses in his hand. “Won’t you get in trouble?”

 

Jongin only chuckles, reaching out to find Kyungsoo’s hands. “Silly, hyung. I requested this day for us to go out. I want to show you something.”

 

“You did that. . . for me?”

 

“Well yeah. Who else would I have done it for?” The younger continues to laugh, finally find the other’s warm hands to hold. “It was a bit of a hassle since Luna insisted that being blind and going out wasn’t such a great idea.”

 

It seems like they were at square one, being awkward strangers together. But the touch of the other’s hands makes him feel a little safer, assured that they were more than that. But it didn’t rid the feeling of not knowing who the kid was at all.

 

The whole trip seemed well planned. It was a tad bit far from the city , but Kyungsoo assumes that this might have been a place that Jongin used to come to before he lost his sight.

 

In the back seat beside roses and the one that holds his heart, the smaller male gulps at the silence in the car. The driver is unable to hear anything from the front seat, since it was divided, but even if he could, there would be nothing to listen to.

 

It isn’t until Jongin finally breaks the ice with his voice, eyes looking out the window, trying to remember what it looked like on the way there.

 

“I know you know, hyung.”

 

He… knows? Wait - he knows that I know? How does he…

 

“And I intend on explaining.”

 

“Jongin, you really don’t have to.”

 

Upon hearing this, the younger turns around with an apparent frown, brows knitted together. “But isn’t it only right?” He says, tone obviously expressing how upset he was. “I lied to you. I fooled you. You who lent me your heart when you were healing. Now I know I do not have your trust.” His tone is so serious, worrying Kyungsoo a tad. He’d never seen him this way before.

 

“But I will earn it back, hyung. I will. Just allow me to show you.”

 

“How did you know I knew?”

 

“No one has ever looked at me that way. Like they knew me.”

 

He still remains quiet as he had for the whole hour ride there, but this time reaching for the younger’s hand to hold.

 

Without words, Jongin understands.

 

He knew Jongin was taking him somewhere, but no way did he expect him to take them to a cemetery. It’s no wonder that it’s quite a far drive, knowing how common it was for Koreans to stick to the usual cremation. But once they arrived and walked onto the grass, he knew what was going on.

 

Picking a rose from the bouquet in his hand and Jongin’s hand in the other, he allows the latter to lead the way.

 

He can hear the way he counts the steps under his breath, walking carefully in case he would be stepping over someone’s tombstone.

 

Ah, so he’s remembered it.

 

It doesn’t take them long to reach the one they’re looking for, stopping right in front of it.

 

Tears are building up in his eyes and Kyungsoo can feel his legs about to give out. The sight of it is so surreal

 

There it is.

 

Jongin’s grave is right in front of him, death dated not too long ago. There’s also a photo of him on the carved stone, having the young male smiling brightly with a trophy at hand.

 

Two years ago seemed to be the date where his life had been taken away from him, and his name has been changed in this new life.

 

Kim Taemin. It reads. A talented and loving son.

 

“Kim…”

 

“Taemin.” Jongin finished for him with a small smile, index finger slipping under his sunglasses to wipe away the stray tear. “That’s my name. My old one. I’m no longer Taemin anymore. I am Kim Jongin and I’d like to remain that way.”

 

He cries quietly as Kyungsoo releases hold of his hand to crouch down, laying down the red rose by his grave.

 

“I was great, hyung. I was loved by many. But not by the one I loved most.” He sobs. “Life is… So cruel. It’s a precious thing, but it is so cruel to many.”

 

Wiping away his own tears, Kyungsoo brushes his hand against the stone with a frown before standing back up to come over to the younger male. Bringing him into an embrace, he cries even harder as he feels the way Jongin’s body trembles as he speaks.

 

“What you see after your death is so funny.” He chuckles in between sobs. “It’s ing messed up. Seeing your life after your death, you’d be completely shocked sometimes, Soo. You know? You learn the truth.”

 

It was the biggest day of his life. Kim Taemin.

 

He had been preparing this for his whole life. Even at age three, he had on his tap shoes and tapped away. You could call him the dancing prodigy. Under a lot of pressure though, he worked hard and maybe even shed some blood and tears.

The blame was all on his parents though, pressing the young teen into as much dancing classes as they could. It was all to fulfill the dancing bloodline. Not an inch of blood must be left untouched with the skill of a dancer.

 

Even so, Taemin enjoyed it. He enjoyed the adrenaline and happiness he felt from having on his shoes, spinning in the room he practiced in since he was a toddler.

 

Dancing was his passion.

 

But it was such a shame that his passion was what killed him.

 

On the day of the dance competition, Taemin felt an aching pain his chest but chose to it up and wash it away with a few painkillers and water. But unfortunately, that couldn’t help the pain.

 

Feeling as if he was repeatedly getting stabbed by daggers, Taemin went on stage with the mindset of a performer. ‘The show must go on.’ he smiled, standing in front of the crowd.

 

His routine was upbeat, never missing a single beat. The crowd went wild and the judges hid behind poker faces. But Taemin knew he was too damn good. And even if he felt insecure, he had his beautiful girlfriend there to reassure him.

 

She had always done so, for the past three years. His girlfriend Soojung had supported his dreams and was always there to give a helping hand. If he broke a bone, she drove him to the hospital. If he had a headache, she was there to give a cup of water and some medicine. She was the good in his life.

 

Out there in the audience, Taemin could see her with that heartwarming smile.

 

That was what motivated him to win.

 

At the very end of the competition, Taemin had walked out with a chunk full of awards in cash and a large trophy to display.

 

“Congratulations, baby!” His girlfriend smiles as she stands beside him, taking photos with him for the reporters to put into the newspapers. It’s nothing unusual for them, Taemin having many awards from different competitions. This being the biggest, it was no wonder there was more cameras than usual.

 

Taemin didn’t mind -- he just wanted to be with the one he loved most.

 

His Soojung.

 

“Did you get them?” She whispers into his ear as they embrace each other. “I’ve got my luggage at home prepared and we can just go.” She continues on, pulling away to grimace at the cameras, passing it off as a smile.

 

Taemin leans over to whisper a reply into her ear, making it look somewhat seductive, causing the reporters to gasp and bystanders to awe.

 

“I’ve got it all under my name. The cash in this briefcase is enough to have us travel around until I find a new job and such. I’ve got a hotel booked for us and our flights as well.” He tells her, reassuring his girlfriend with a kiss on the cheek.

 

As if they were skilled for this kind of thing, they then turn away from the flashing cameras and towards each other to look into each other’s eyes.

 

Another gasp and awe was heard, their eyes locking and looking through each other like a glass.

If only Taemin hadn’t been so blind to Soojung’s own.

 

Taemin’s being innocent, full of love, and adoration, he caresses her cheeks and grins. “Do not fear, my love.” He assures her. “We can stop worrying about the world here and go somewhere else.”

 

Upon hearing this, Soojung smiles at him with tears welling in her eyes. “We can finally go away.” She says. “It will finally just be you and I… No one else.” She sniffles , small hands coming up to cup her boyfriend’s cheek. “You’re too good to me, Taemin. You’ll regret it.” The last bit is whispered so it’s left unheard, but either way, a small frown grows on his lips.

 

“Hey -” Taemin interrupts with furrowed brows. “I don’t care about the money. I don’t care about the awards and the prizes. I care about you. You’re my most treasured. Soojung… You’re the only thing I-” As he’s speaking, he suddenly interrupted by a loud and obnoxious voice.

 

“The golden couple!” A male voice joins in on the A and B conversation, slinging an arm around Taemin’s shoulder casually. “You did great out there, babe. You looked cute in your little tutu!” With a roll of his eyes, Taemin snorts.

 

“You know, as my best friend for years now, you’d think you’d stop with the damn tutu jokes!”

 

Shaking his head with a laugh, the said friend continues to tease by poking at the smaller male’s cheek. “You are such a babe, babe.” He coos, turning his head to look at Soojung. “You’re into men with tutu’s aren’t you?” He picks at the couple with a smug grin. “I like annoying you both. It’s the price you get for beating me in every competition, Taem.”

 

“Well I wouldn’t be winning so easily if you stopped doing hip hop ballet! I told you that the judges don’t like it!” He scowls at his friend’s words, elbowing him in the pit. “Plus, you don’t even like ballet. You just like to join for fun.”

 

“Ah, ah! But thats what you think!” Sehun pouts his lips out childishly. “I happen to love ballet very very much. Since we were little! But the oh so great Kim Taemin was the greatest of them all! Little Oh Sehun could and would never compete to be the best.” He pretends to sob.

 

It continues on like that until Soojung reaches over to grab onto both of the bickering men’s ears with a huff. “Idiots.” She mumbles. “Stop joking around and let’s go.”

 

Looking over at Sehun, she glares at him. “You go away and leave home to do whatever you do. I don’t care.” She says coldly before turning her attention to Taemin, eyes soft now. “And you - Go home and get dressed and we can meet at my apartment, alright?”

 

Taemin nods in response, ignoring his best friend who wiggles his brows childishly.

 

“Ooo, apartment!” He cackles before Soojung is slapping him away with her hands.

 

“Alright, Taem babe! I guess I’ll catch you later.” He tries to squeak out before Soojung is chasing him away. Taemin replies with no words. Just a chuckle and a small smile.

 

He’d miss Sehun.

 

They were best friends after all. But if Soojung wanted to leave everything and everyone behind, he would.

 

With pursed lips, he looks around to see if his girlfriend would come back, but judging by how much the time is passed, he assumes she might have gone home to wait for him. The plane was leaving in two hours, so he had to get out of here as soon as possible.

 

Walking down the street to his vehicle, belongings held close to him in case of a robbery, he keeps his eyes peeled down these dark streets.

 

It was 12AM by now, so there was bound to be some thirsty thief. But there isn’t any tonight. Just a pair of clacking heels coming from behind him. Taemin would be cautious, but those heels are familiar and he doesn’t even have to turn around to see who it is.

 

“Babe?” He turns himself around to see his girlfriend running towards him, hair flowing like a beautiful goddess she is. The sight is breathtaking and he can’t help the grin that grows on his lips.

 

Meanwhile, Soojung is now standing in front of him with a timid expression. “Taem.” She breathes, slightly breathless from the small run she had to to get to him. “I’m about to get picked up by Jinri, but I forgot to tell you-”

 

“Out with it, love!” Taemin chuckles. “It’s cold out and you’re wearing a short dress. It’s dangerous out here.” He purses his lips, setting the briefcase of money between his legs to slip off his jacket, draping it over her.

 

With his actions, she pauses for a moment, frown apparent before slapping on a small smile.

 

“I was thinking, you should leave the ticket and cash with me. So you can just go home and meet me at the airport. You won’t have extra luggage.” She insists with a nod, pretty hands reaching out for the brown leather bag.

 

Taemin didn’t think anything of it. If Soojung wanted the world, he would give it over.

 

Handing the cash to her, he smiles before leaning in to kiss her lips. “Alright, sweetie. I’ll wait here until Jinri picks you up. I don’t want anything to happen after I leave.” He insists in return with a warm smile.

 

Soojung hums while swinging slightly side to side with that gentle smile of hers. “How about you get into your car and follow me back to the performing hall?” She suggests with playful brows wiggling. Of course, Taemin ponders if that’s a good idea, but it was better than leaving her out here.

 

“Alright!”

 

His car parked across the street, he steps on off of the sidewalk and into the street. Just as he does so, a car’s light had with the engine. It hadn’t been too far away from Taemin, catching the latter off guard when it had it’s engine roar and come rushing towards his body.

 

Soojung had to hold in her scream as she watched her boyfriend’s body hit the windshield of the vehicle.

 

It had been painted in the deep crimson that was leaving Taemin’s limp body.

 

Her eyes couldn’t leave the sight of the lifeless eyes that she once adored, her own filled with the guilt that she had been trying to hide all night.

 

It wasn’t until a familiar voice called her name, snapping her out of her trance.

 

“Soojung - get the in the car!”

 

Shaking her head, she brushed her brown locks out of her face and wiped away her tears. “I’m coming.” She sobs, openining the passenger door and buckles herself down.

 

In front of her, Taemin’s body had still been resting on the hood of the car.

 

The driver shifting gears and speeding off, she tried to ignore the thud that the body made when falling onto the street on it’s own, driving away from it. Her head turned back to see it shrink as they drove off, waiting until it disappeared.

 

“W-What are we going to do?” She cries. “Taemin…”

 

“That bastard didn’t deserve you. All this. Taem.”

 

With a sniffle, wiping at her tears once more, she weakly punches at the man’s shoulder before breaking out into sobs.

 

“We shouldn’t have done it. It’s too much, Sehun! It’s too much.”

 

Breaking into his own set of tears, Sehun shakes his head and speeds their way to the airport.

 

“It’s too late, Soo-ah.” He grits his teeth. “He’s dead.”

 

As the secret couple sobbed together at the crime they had just committed, they couldn’t see the spirit of the man they had just killed.

 

In the back seat of the car, Taemin sat there completely dumbfounded. Beside him was a male in a black cloak.

 

“You see?” The mysterious reaper spoke to Taemin who watched his lover and his best friend cry about his death. “They killed you. For their own good. For your fortune.” He chuckles deeply, pointing at the back of Sehun’s head with his scythe. “And he did it to steal your girl. Didn’t you trust these people?”

 

Indeed he did.

 

Sehun was his childhood friend and Soojung was the one he wanted to run away with. She was the one he truly loved. The one he wanted to give a ring to, to come home to. But instead, they both did him wrong.

 

“How could they?” He asked with tears leaving his eyes.

 

“They never loved you. She never loved you.” The reaper replied dryly, watching the crying couple park to the side to mourn. “Not like you loved them.”

 

Taemin didn’t want to believe it. Not until Sehun had opened his mouth.

 

“Let’s just go, okay? You brought his extra clothes, right? And yours too. Let’s go burn our clothes and - and I know someone who can give us a new identity for the States, huh? Let’s do that. That’s our plan, right? Forget Taemin. Forget anyone else. We ended him and have all this cash.”

 

Forget him? Forget Taemin?

 

“A-Alright.” Soojung smiled soft, drying her pretty tears.

 

Taemin’s heart had dropped to the deepest pit there was, feeling more lifeless than he was.

 

“Please,” He pleaded. “I don’t want to see anymore.” He looks over at the reaper. “Take me away. I don’t want to be here.”

 

 

 

And with a poof, they were out of the car and into a blank field.

 

It was daytime. Beatiful view.

 

There was a lone tree with a tire swing hanging from it’s long branch.

 

Taemin walked over and took a seat, watching his feet dangle below.

 

“What about that offer?” The reaper brought of between the silence. “What do you say?”

 

The swinging male shrugged, looking out towards the sun. “Tell me about it again.”

 

“If you give me something, I can give you something in return.” The reaper began, standing in front of Taemin now to stop the swinging motion with the tip of his scythe. “Give me something, and I can give you a chance to live again. Somewhat.”

 

With this infortmation, Taemin tilts his head in slight confusion. “Somewhat?” He questions.

 

“You will be half alive, let’s say. Under a new identity, a slightly alternated face, and you will be given the chance to love again.” The male presents. “But that is all. Once you have been loved truly by someone, your time on Earth ends and you may pass peacefully.”

 

It sounded like a nice offer, but it all still seemed a bit odd to Taemin.

 

“What’s the point of it?” He blinks. “What’s the point when once I am loved, I go back to being dead?”

 

“It’s better to have been truly loved than not at all, correct?” The reaper chuckles. “Some people haven’t gotten the chance to be loved. That’s why I’ve created this method… This chance, Taemin. So, what do you say?”

 

With some time and pondering about his decision, Taemin parts his mouth to let out a sigh.

 

“I’ll do it.” He decided. “I don’t care what it takes, I will do it.”

 

“You’re real eager.” The reaper chuckles. “You understand the consequence, right? Once you are loved, you will be gone from Earth. You won’t remain with the one who loves you.”

 

“I don’t care. Take me. I just want to forget. I want to forget Soojung.”

 

With a bit of silence, the scythe is swped back and forth a few times. “Alright.” The reaper speaks. “Give me something. An ability. A sense. Your voice, your legs, your sense of smell. Something.”

 

It doens’t even take a second for Taemin to hesitate.

 

“Take my eyesight.”

 

 

 

 

 

And Kyungsoo gets it all now.

 

He gets why Jongin did it. He understands why everything happens the way it does and it completely blows his mind. It’s actually a little too much for him to handle, slightly lightheaded from the hyperventilating and crying he’s doing.

 

“Soo…” Jongin tries to sooth his boyfriend, knowing of his panic attacks. “Please don’t think that I only love you because Soojung didn’t love me.” He tries to explain himself. “I don’t want you to think that’s why I’m here. You don’t know how much I reget, how much I wish I could’ve gotten paralyzed instead. Soo, I…” He pauses.

 

“You don’t know how much I wish I could get back my vision.”

 

The pain in his voice is too much too bare. The emotion is too raw to be unreal. Kyungsoo knows this.

 

“I gave up my eyesight wanting to get rid of that smile Soojung had. The way her hair flowed in the wind. I gave it up for all that. But it’s so ing cruel. It’s so funny and twisted at how I wish I had it just so I can look at you. I kept my legs for dancing - even when I’m blind I can do what I love most, but I don’t get to look at you. The one I love most.”

 

“I hate it.” He frowns.

 

“I hate not being able to see the eyes - the window to the soul that I want to meet in the end of all of this, Kyungsoo. I don’t even remember how Soojung’s smile looks like. My mind is just filled with you, wondering what you look like. I always picture it in my head, the touch of your features on my fingertips trying to map out what you’d look like. It’s pathetic. But it’s all I have.”

 

Kyungsoo listens to his words with warmth being restored there, no longer feeling that empty feeling he’d felt the whole month.

 

Enjoying Jongin’s embrace, he presses a kiss to the taller male’s cheek after getting on his toes.

 

“One day, Jongin.” He whispers. “I’ll be the one you see.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

a/n: