"No..please, don't leave me." I begged her, tears streaming down my face.

 

"I'm sorry, Taeyeon. I've wronged you, yes. But I think it's time for us to face reality, girls can't be together." she stuttered, every single word that came out from pierced right into my heart like how Betta ray pierced through aluminium.

 

"Where did I do wrong? Tell me..I can make things right like how it was used to be." I held her hand, ignoring the man who was standing beside her with his arm wrapped around her waist. I felt so small standing in front of them, I felt like turning into an ant. But literally I was indeed smaller than them, I was just talking about my feelings.

 

"You did nothing wrong, Taeyeon. You showered nothing but love to me the whole time we were together. But let's be a little bit more mature than we already are. Public will be disgusted at us both. We really can't be together."

 

"B-but..you said that you loved me, you were the one who confessed to me and asked me to be your girlfriend two years ago." I tightened my grip, I was really in pain hearing her saying that. Since when did she become so heartless?

 

"Yes, I recall that. And yes again, I loved you, with a 'd' added to it. And now I love him. You must know the difference between 'love' and 'loved' right? My feelings for you have died, they are all in the past now. You really need to move on, because I already have." she gave me a small, guilty smile as she my hand with her thumb. Usually she would my hands lovingly, but now she did it sadly, because she knew it was the last time. "Look.." she continued, "if you're still into girls, I suggest you to move to the United States. Lovewins...I mean, gay relationships have been legalized there." she separated my small hand from hers and replaced it with the man's big hand. "I doubt we can meet again, good luck in finding a new one." with that she turned around as he smirked at me, probably thinking that he won this bet because Tiffany chose him over me.

 

I was left all alone, sitting on the bench, crying like a lost girl. Come to think of it, I was totally a lost girl. The wind blew over, making my hair swayed, some of it accidentally got inside my right eye as I closed it. "Ouch.." I pulled out my hair from my eye, "stupid wind.." I cursed. When I opened it my eyes darted to a cliff not so far away. Without even giving a second thought to myself, I strutted slowly but surely towards the cliff, 'That's right..' I thought, 'She left me a minute ago, what's the point to live life now?' and there I was, standing at the very edge of a sky high place, the wind didn't stop blowing.

 

"Taeyeon!" I heard someone shouted. I turned around and got a glimpse of a concerned Tiffany. Knowing that she was here, she must have turned around when she walked away with him. She still cared for me, a small smile flickered across my face.

 

"Tiffany..you came back for me." 

 

"Taeyeon.." she whispered, I caught a sight of her tears rolling down her cheeks and it made my smile grew wider. "Please..don't do this." she begged.

 

I chuckled lowly as I stepped back a little, making half of my feet hanging on the cliff and she stepped forward, trying to stop me. "Hey!" I shouted cheerfully, "I still remember the day that you confessed to me, you told me that when the thought of me being taken by somebody else crosses your mind, it really pains you to the point that you ready to commit suicide." 

 

"Come back, Tae..please." her voice cracked.

 

"I think we should switch places, Tiffany." I ignored her as I stepped back again. "I was supposed to be the one to say all that, so I'll say it now so you can hear it for the first time..and the last." she shook her head as she reached her hand for me, "When you are being taken by somebody else, when you broke up with me, it really pains me to the the point that I WILL commit suicide." 

 

"Tae..don't do this..don't do this to me.." 

 

"Tiffany.." I watched as she stepped forward again. "I loved you, and I always will. But this is the end for us, it will end forever. Don't worry, when the cops find my body all shattered on the ground, maybe part of me will be found under the sea, I assure you I am already standing by your side, the difference is you can't see me. Goodbye, Fany-ah."

 

The last thing I remember is that I flew in the air. "Taeyeon!" and her voice.

 

"Yah! Taeyeon! Wake up!" Hyoyeon shook my shoulder a little too rough as I opened my eyes.

 

"What?" I asked her annoyingly and sleepily at the same time. 

 

"Your girlfriend's on the phone." I popped my eyes wider as she handed me the phone and left my room, giving us privacy. Sometimes I'm grateful that I have an understanding sister like her. Okay, not sometimes..but all the time.

 

"Hello? Good morning?" I greeted, using a questioning tone.

 

"Yah! Where the hell are you? You're already 5 minutes late, you know? Come here this instant!" she demanded, this side of her should really be a commander.

 

"Come where?" I sat up lazily, I heard her gasped on the other line and I imagined her shocking face where her eyes would grow wide as her jaw dropped but still looking freaking beautiful. 

 

"Do you have an amnesia? I called you last night that we should meet up for tomorrow night because I know that you haven't prepared anything yet." 

 

Ah..tomorrow night..I suppose I would only end up being alone. Because she already has a partner, well what could I do? People voted for them to be together. Tiffany and him..him, the same guy who appeared in my dream. I felt like the dream was about to come true, where Tiffany would tell me that she loved him, that her feelings for me have died. 

 

Tomorrow night, everything must be in sync for them, their outfit must match each other, their dance moves must be perfect. They spent time together this whole week, and who knows what they were doing when they were alone, anything could happen. He's handsome enough to seduce her whereas I, I'm nothing handsome. If by any chance she changed her heart, I'm not handsome enough to bring her back, I will never be. I'm just pretty, and she's beautiful. 'Pretty' and 'beautiful' are in the same category, yes, I'm talking about we're both girls. Public will be disgusted at us.

 

"Can I not go?" I yawned.

 

"What?! Your girlfriend is going to be crowned as Queen and you told me that you don't want to go?" 

 

"But you have a partner. I don't want to see you with another person. I'm the one who will be suffered." 

 

"Tae.." she softly whispered.

 

"That's okay..I'm okay." I smiled sadly though I knew that she couldn't see. "I already have my dress, I'm just considering whether to go or not now."

 

"You already have a dress? But I'm here already, we were supposed to buy you a dress today, you should've told me." I imagined her rolling her eyes. "Anyway, screw it. I miss you, I want to see you today, whatever the obstacle is. So get your up from your bed and get ready, I'll pick you up in 15 minutes."

 

"You know I just woke up?" 

 

"Yeah, I can smell your stink breath even from here." she laughed at her own joke and I couldn't help but laugh along.

 

"So you mean that the whole world can smell my breath?" I chuckled.

 

"What? No..just me." her voice dropped and I could sense that she was frowning.

 

"Yeah? How do you know that?" 

 

"Well, judging the faces that the people surrounding me are wearing, they don't seem to be disgusted. And there's nobody here closing their noses except me." she laughed sarcastically.

 

"Yah! You meanie!" I pouted as her laugh increased, getting louder and louder until she was breathless.

 

"You're so adorable.. and so is your pout." 

 

I cocked one of my eyebrows, "How did you know that I'm pouting?"

 

She groaned annoyingly, "How many questions do you have to ask early in the morning? I don't know, maybe the link between lovers told me, chemistry perhaps?"

 

I blushed at her answer, lovers..that's right..we're lovers. There's no way she would change, right? A sound of 'beep' from the other line brought me back to reality, someone was contacting her..and I know who.

 

"I better get going now..get yourself ready. If I said 15 minutes then it's 15 minutes. Oh, and hey, don't blush too madly." with that she hung up, this time I could sense her wink, it delivered all the way through the phone. Okay, so she knew I was blushing. I sighed disappointedly, she chose to hang up and talk to him instead of me. No, you gotta get a grip of yourself, Taeyeon. Be considerate, she was doing this for tomorrow night, she was going to be a Queen, well not real Queen. I must be happy for her, don't doubt her. I slapped both of my cheeks lightly before washing myself up.

 

***** *****

 

"Morning sis.." I spinned around playfully and took her cup filled with coffee that she was holding before sipping it. She did not care at all, she would always be like this, not taking a care when I take her things, because she knows that I would give it right back to her. Like this coffee, I only took a sip before returning it to her.

 

"Morning.." she scanned my body up and down, "going somewhere?"

 

I nodded and slumped myself on the couch, watching whatever it was on the TV screen.

 

"Hey.." she lifted my legs up and put it on her thighs.

 

"Hmm?"

 

"You ready for tomorrow?" she questioned, I gazed up at her.

 

"Can I not go?" I pressed both of my lips. "I don't want to see my girlfriend with another guy." I closed my eyes and sighed.

 

"Taeyeon, you shouldn't be frustrated for whatever Tiffany does tomorrow, Nickhun is just an option, I'm sure she'll think about you the whole time, even at the dance." she assured me as I opened my eyes. 

 

"The dance is what I don't want to see the most. He'll be wrapping his arms around her waist and her neck! No!" the image of him being close with Tiffany crossed my mind, jealousy striked my body as I sat up. 

 

"I know I know..the dance is bad, but there's something worse.." she chuckled nervously, making me glared at her.

 

"What?" 

 

"They'll kiss on stage.."

 

***** *****

 

'They'll kiss on stage', Hyoyeon's words haunted me the whole day, even when I was with Tiffany. We were both at a diner, that was the first place we went after she picked me up and we were in silence on the journey. She kept stealing glances at me when we were stuck in a traffic light, she knew my mood wasn't bright.

 

"Ah, the latte is so delicious!" she touched her cheek as she faked a cheerful voice, probably wanted to cheer me up. "How's your chocolate?" she pointed at my cup.

 

"Hmm..yeah, it's sweet." I didn't look at her. Yes, chocolate is sweet but I tasted bitter on this one, yet sweet. Bittersweet.

 

"Tae.." she called softly, probably noticing my behavior. But still, I didn't look up, how could I? When I look at her all I see was an image of her and him. "Tae.." she tried again, desiring my attention.  "Look at me.." this time she brought her finger up and lifted my chin. My eyes finally landed on hers. "What's wrong?" 

 

I pulled my head away from her finger before shaking it. "Mhm mm.." then I looked back at my cup.

 

"Don't 'mhm mm' me, there's something wrong..you weren't like this on the phone, you know you can tell me, right? I'm always here for you." hearing her saying that, I let out a sigh for the numerous time today before I found the courage to stare at her.

 

"Okay..but please don't get mad at me." I clasped my hands together.

 

"I won't.." she threw me a small smile.

 

"Last night I dreamed about you." her smile went wide with this sentence, "with Nickhun." and she dropped it. "With his arms wrapped around your waist, and with you saying that you don't love me anymore, that you told me that I have to move on because you already have him, and that you said you love him now, and--" 

I choked on my own as tears rolled down my cheeks.

 

"Taeyeon.." she held my hand on the table, the other one wiped my tears away. "I hate to see you like this." she intertwined our fingers and she tightened her grip, giving my hand some pressure. "You know that I love you.." she smiled as I nodded.

 

"Yes, I know..but I just can't get that thought out of my mind. I mean, what would public say if they found out about us? What would happen to us? Our reputation? Especially you, you have the attention from all students in the school including teachers..I--"

 

"Hey.." she shook my hand a little, "I don't care about reputation, I don't care about what the public would say if they knew about us..I just want what's best for us, even if it's gonna include public or reputation.. I would do anything for you..so please, have faith in me." she managed a smile, so did I. But then I frowned as another group of tears lined up in my eyes. 

 

"If.." I started again, "If I asked you to kiss me right here and right now in front of these people. Would you do it?" I lost my hope when she retreated her hand from mine as her face changed, no words came out from . "Can't, right? Because we're both girls.." I wiped my tears and sniffed as I stood up, "I'll go pay for the bills.." 

 

***** *****

 

"Yah! Tiffany! What the hell is wrong with you?! Stop pulling me!" I tried my best to pull my hand from hers but to no avail, she was really strong. I don't know what has gotten into her though, after I payed the bill she suddenly pulled me from the diner.

 

"Get in.." she whispered sternly when we were standing in front of her car with the passenger's seat's door wide opened. She loosened her grip on me and I followed her order.

 

"Okay, can I know where we are going?" I questioned in the middle of our journey but she remained silent. "Tiffany!"

 

"Be quiet.." she demanded again, her voice was low and husky.

 

Then after a few more minutes, she pulled over. "We're here.."

 

I scanned around us, she brought me to an amusement park. Even from the car inside, I could hear people screaming in joy, especially from the Roller Coaster and oddly, there was a stage, a live band was performing. When I turned to Tiffany she already was standing outside so I too, got out.

She sauntered around the car and, for the second time, grab my wrist tightly and pulled me. 

 

"Tiffany! Hey! What are you doing?!" I shouted as I slapped her arm hardly and repeatedly. She was bearing the pain, I could see it through her face, she was biting her lip. I felt guilty when I saw red marks on her arm, I rubbed it softly and blew cool air so the pain would disappear. "I'm sorry." I remarked and was relieved to see her smile.  

 

"I'm sorry, you can't pass through here.." a man demanded, Tiffany let go of my hand, took her purse out as she fished out some money and gave it to him.

 

"You trying to bribe me?" he exclaimed again, but took the money anyway.

 

"Does it work?" she winked playfully but weirdly, I didn't feel jealous at all for I was completely perplexed. We couldn't pass through where? Just then my eyes laid on a mini staircase, my eyes followed it and soon I realized that the staircase was leading to the stage. Tiffany brought me to the stage.

 

"Completely.." and he let us pass. I don't know how and when but when I was brought back to reality, I was already on stage, standing beside Tiffany and with her holding the microphone.

 

"Hey everyone! I need a little attention here! Can you please help?" she stated through the microphone, the people on the crowd slowly but surely approached us. "Hey! Hey! You! You and your boyfriend!" she pointed at a couple not so far from the stage, "Join'em..join the crowd.." and so they did, for once I thought she and I were going to have a concert after seeing the countless people under the stage, staring blankly at us both.

 

"All right, thank you very much for paying attention." she cried, "I have a little something to share with you guys.."

 

"Tiffany, what are you doing?" I whispered, but instead of getting an answer, she held her index finger in front of me, insisting me  to shut up.

 

"You all have your phone right? Can you all, please..take it out and record this? You can post it on YouTube if you want to, I don't mind.." the audience did as she ordered, every single one of them took their phone out, I felt like standing in front of paparazzi. 

 

"Thank you again. I hereby standing on the stage with this girl beside me and with you guys recording this means a lot to me. This girl.." she wrapped her arm around my neck, "happens to be my girlfriend. And I don't mean she's a girl and a friend, I mean she's my girlfriend as in lover." I watched the audience's faces, I began to panic when I saw that they were disgusted at what she just said. But seeing her face, I couldn't stop her. "I want to appear public like how Ellen DeGeneres did, we all know that she married to a beautiful woman. If she could do that, why couldn't I?" then she turned to me, "Why couldn't us?" I just smiled at her as she turned to face the audience again, "Where is the justice in that? I know that we are Koreans, we are Asians but that doesn't mean that we are not allowed to follow our heart. If you're attracted to the same gender as you, go for it, follow your heart. I know some of you people are the same as Taeyeon and I but you just don't have the courage to be who you really are, you have to accept yourself first, that way the whole world will accept you for being you. That is the true happiness than trying to be happy by forcing and pretending to be somebody you aren't, we only live life once. Don't do anything that you'll regret." she held my hand, "Being together with this girl makes me more than happy to the point that I can't find a word to describe this feeling, she just keeps making me feel like there's this 'butterfly in the stomach' feeling which I believe everyone felt that too with your special someone. Aside from my family, she's special and important to me." she sighed, "Find that person whom you cannot live without, there must be someone, no exceptions." the audience's faces changed after her long talk and I could swear there were some of them in tears, Tiffany changed them, Tiffany made them realized. "Be who you are, don't try to copy someone. If you be who you really are and accept what you are and who you're into, I can guarantee that you will be happy all your life, because I am now, it's worth it. If you fake your happiness, you'll only end up being miserable. Remember, whatever you do and whoever you hang out with, we don't get to choose our ending. One day, we will die. All of us." 

 

She stopped for a while as she inhaled deeply only to let all of the oxygen out from her lungs again.

 

"Tomorrow is our school's Homecoming, and it was paired with an all-boys school. I was voted to be the Queen and a guy from that school was voted to be the King. Taeyeon was really upset with that because I will be doing everything with him tomorrow night, we will be dancing together and..." she hesitated as she glanced at me. "kiss.." she finished, so she did know about this. I lowered my head, bit my lip as I imagined them kissing in front of me. I would have to share her with somebody I barely know. I would have to share her lips and I don't freaking want that.

 

"A few minutes ago, at some random diner. She asked me that if I were to kiss her in public, in front of the crowd, would I do it? The answer is..." she threw the microphone out of the blue before turning me, cupping one of my cheeks and connected our lips. I was taken aback by her action, the audience went wild by our kissing session, majority of them clapped their hands and half of them wiped their tears, soon after she pulled away, "yes.." I smiled, pecking her lips, I felt my eyes were also covered in tears for I was touched by her words and action, I have a brave girlfriend here and I'm proud of it.

 

I her cheek and hugged her as I let my tears escaped. "I love you." I whispered, "I would do anything for you, Taeyeon. I said that before right?" she rubbed my back up and down and I nodded on her shoulder.

 

"Together we live, together we die.." she whispered in my ear,facing the audience for the numerous time and repeated the same thing. We took our steps off the stage as they clapped loudly and shouted hysterically.

 

***** *****

 

"Are you out of your mind?!" Hyoyeon screamed at night on the same day. Tiffany and I were sitting on the couch with our heads hanging low but kept our fingers intertwined, Hyoyeon strolled back and forth in front of us while holding her phone. "Please tell me this is a dream, this video did not come out on YouTube." 

 

"Sorry to say, but it did." Tiffany courageously responded.

 

"You have totally out of your mind, Tiffany! How could you bring her to the stage and kiss her in front of so many people?! Not to mention that you asked them to record it. Yes, you love each other. But you both still got pride! Have a thought about that too!" she scolded.

 

"I apologize for that." she and I cried in sync.

 

"Good. So delete it." Hyoyeon demanded again, I had my jaw dropped and Tiffany's eyes widened at the request.

 

"I'm afriad that that wouldn't give anything a change." I stated as I witnessed my sister's face turned to a frown.

 

"Why not?" 

 

I gazed at Tiffany, sending her signals and she understood as she showed her phone to Hyoyeon to have a look on her phone screen, she bent down a bit so her eyes were on the same level as the mobile. I held back my laugh when I saw her face after she glimpsed at Tiffany's phone. 

 

"Because it has surpassed 2 million views." I answered as I burst into laughter. No longer could hold back. 

 

"Less than a day?! That's really insane..you're both famous now." she sat herself on the floor not so far from us, "But on top of that.." she crawled towards us and held our hands, "I actually am proud of you. I wish I had the same courage to do such a thing when I was your age." she smiled at us, "That's true love.." then she stood up and traveled to the kitchen. "But after the Homecoming, both of you are grounded for a week, I'm so gonna have a great talk with your dad , Tiffany Hwang." she announced in the middle of her tiny journey.

 

"But..--"

 

"No buts!"

 

***** *****

 

Every pair of eyes were on me when I entered the ballroom. I wore a free-shoulder, knee-length red cocktail, with a little mix of purple and pink. It was paired with a magenta elbow-length gloves and lavender boots. I did half of my hair a messy bun, and let half of it danced over my shoulders. I was totally not comfortable with them observing me though that I've been on stage before, but that was with Tiffany by my side. Speaking of her, I smiled when a pair of arms embraced me from behind out of the blue, her hands locked with each other and her chin on my left shoulder as we staggered like this position through the ballroom. 

 

"What are you looking at? I know she's hot but she's mine!" she sent death glares to the people who were looking at us. Seconds later we found ourselves making out at an empty area where no one could find us. I was trapped in her arms for she was pinning me against the wall.

 

"Damn, you're so hot, baby. You , I could eat you up all night." she whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I gulped when she my earlobe and bit it afterwards. She stared hungrily straight into my eyes, her eyes were dark and filled with lust. I hitched my breath when she proceeded to bite my neck as she spread my legs a little.

 

"Tiffany..no.." I held her hand but she yanked it away lightly.

 

"Shh.." she closed my mouth using her palm as another hand of hers slid down my thigh and got inside my dress. "I know you want this too.." she was caressing my inner thigh up and down, then it upwards, so close to my private area.

 

 

"Okay everyone! Please gather up! It's time for King and Queen!"

 

 

I heard my sister's voice through the microphone, I took a peek and saw that she was on stage, the students already went wild, it was time to see my girl with another person. I chuckled when I heard Tiffany groaned annoyingly. "Why do I have to be the Queen?" 

 

"'Cause you're beautiful.." I winked, she pretended to catch it and stick it to her heart. She grinned dorkily as I rolled my eyes.

 

"But she interrupted our y session! Who knows maybe now your underwear is somewhere on the floor and with me your .." she smirked at me.

 

"Yah! No dirty thinking, you naughty girl!" I smacked her arm, she rubbed it while sticking her tongue out. "You better go now, everyone's waiting."

 

***** *****

 

She kept her eyes on me when she was standing on stage with Nickhun. Even when she was crowned as Queen, she still stared at me. Her eyes were like saying that she didn't want me to be with another girl or boy, that she likely would kill the person if there was someone trying to touch me. 

 

And then there was this dance, the worst feeling of my life. I watched them dancing in front of me, how his hands skilfully touched her thighs, how close their faces were, how she his face, how she swayed her hips aginst him, how her hands were wrapped around his neck and his hands around her waist. It was really unbearable, it hurts a lot. The pain increased when the thought of them practising this dance for the whole week. 

 

"Kiss!" a man shouted after the dance was over. "Yeah! Kiss!" a girl supported, followed by all the students there.

 

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

 

I sensed that Tiffany was gazing at me, hoping to find my eyes but instead of staring at her, I looked at Nickhun as he nodded at me and took off the stage, leaving Tiffany standing all alone with a confused face. I marched towards Hyoyeon as she handed me the microphone.

 

"Good luck.." she wished, I just smiled at her before I hiked to the stage. Everyone was silent when I stood beside Tiffany, all of them were holding their phones with a grin on their faces.

 

"Taeyeon? What's going on?" 

 

I placed my finger to my own lips, telling her to keep quiet. I held her hand and intertwined our fingers, "Thank you so much Nichkun-sshi for being an understanding guy, and also thanks to my lovely sister for being a perfect sister to me. Hey people, how many of you watched our video at the amusement park? Can you raise up your hand?" I witnessed almost all of them raised their hand, making Tiffany and I smiled, then they put their hands down, it looked like a wave to me.

 

"So all of you must know that we are in a relationship. So I want to ask you a favor, you already have your phone out, right? Please record this like how the people at the amusemnet park did, post this on YouTube." I glanced at Tiffany, I liked watching her face, she was really confused. Then I turned to the audience, only to see them already recording this and it made me smiled wider.

 

"Thank you very very much. I'm standing here is because I want to pay the efforts that my girl gave to me. She confessed to me in the first place, that was when I still hated her, but at the same time I had a crush on her. So it really felt like a miracle happened to me that time. And then she brought me to the amusement park, asking people to record our kissing session just because of one reason,  I asked her to do that, but I didn't think that she actually would do it so it really surprised me. She told me that she would do anything for me over and over again, and it makes me feel like I didn't do anything for her at all. But it's okay, because that thought will soon be wiped off my mind. Because I'm about to do something.." I turned to look at her, "for you." 

 

"Tiffany..I want to break up with you." everyone gasped in shock, not seeing this coming. I eyed Tiffany and there already were tears streaming down her face.

 

"Why? I don't want that..I can't..I can't live without you. I-I don't want to break up, Taeyeon. Why so sudden? Please, I'm be-begging you, don't leave me. I love you, please don't.. don't lea-"

 

I cupped both of her cheeks and wiped her tears with my thumbs. "Who says anything about leaving?" I pecked her lips, then kissed her nose. She sniffed and frowned, her nose were red from all the crying and I smiled, lucky to see her cute sight.

 

"I'm breaking up with you, is because I want us to take a step further in this relationship. I know that we're just 19, but it's not wrong to get engaged, right? We can go to the United States to get a proper wedding after graduation." I fished out a dark blue minuscule box as I knelt down on one knee, she had both of her palms closing as her eyes widened, the crowd was shouting in joy.

 

"Tiffany Hwang Mi Young, will you be my fiancé?" I opened the box, there were two rings inside it, with a really tiny diamond in the middle of the rings. 

 

"My God! No doubt! Of course, Tae! Of course! Yes! Yes!" she screamed while nodding her head repeatedly like a mad woman. She held her hand out, I slid the ring on her ring finger and vice versa. I stood up as we connected our lips again and without me realizing, I was lifted off from the ground. 

 

"Tiffany! Woah!" I screamed when she spinned me as I wrapped my arms tighter around her neck. "That's enough.." I laughed, "put me down.."

 

"Guys.." I grinned, facing the audience, "it's time to say what we practiced.." I faced Tiffany again, showing her my palm. "You ready?! Together we say! 3,2,1!"

 

 

"Jigeummeun TaeNy shidae!!!"