Jongin doesn’t speak to Kyungsoo when he walks in the room to give him medicine. He stares at the blank TV screen with glazed over eyes and chapped lips. He swallows all of his pills in one go and barely drinks enough water to even help them down, but he doesn’t choke miraculously. Kyungsoo’s tried to speak to him before but he just replies with short answers and sometimes doesn’t answer at all.

    “You’re moving down to a step down tomorrow,” Kyungsoo says with a little cheer in his voice as he opens the blinds. “No more nurses poking you every day and night. That’s exciting, huh?” Kyungsoo walks over to his breakfast tray and lifts up the lid to see if Jongin has actually touched his food, but like all the other days, he hasn’t and the eggs have gone cold. Kyungsoo sets the lid back down and picks up the tray to slide it onto the counter to take out when he’s done. He looks back at Jongin who’s still staring at the blank TV screen and lets out a sigh. He pulls a chair up next to Jongin’s bed and takes Jongin’s hand in his own.

    “Jongin, listen,” Kyungsoo says. “You need to eat. You need to do something. You don’t want them to start you on a feeding tube because they’re not pretty.” Jongin just shrugs.

    “There’s no point in living anyway,” Jongin says, his first sentence in days. “It’s not like I’ve got anything to look forward to.”

    “Stop,” Kyungsoo says. “Don’t say stuff like that-”

    “I mean when I get released I’ll probably just swallow a bottle of pills and-”

    “Stop!” Kyungsoo snaps. Jongin looks at Kyungsoo with dark eyes void of any light at all. “Don’t take living for granted. It’s a privilege a lot of people don’t have.”

    Jongin turns back to the television screen and Kyungsoo grinds his teeth watching Jongin so hopeless. “I’ve seen people your age with little kids die in this bed. I’ve seen teenagers who haven’t even had the chance to think about what they want in life die in this bed. I’ve seen kids who haven’t even had the chance of someone loving them die in this bed. You’ve had a great life and you still will. So don’t you dare take it for granted because you can’t go up on a stage and twirl around in some tight pants with pretty girls. You’re still breathing, your heart is still beating. That’s something a lot of people can’t say they have.” Kyungsoo stands up and angrily slides the chair back to it’s spot in the corner of the room and grabs Jongin’s tray and walks out.

    It’s a week later when Kyungsoo gets the news from Baekhyun that Jongin is asking for discharge. His doctors don’t want him to, but Jongin is done with the hospital setting. He’s already had enough of it.

    Apparently Jongin is asking for Kyungsoo and that’s why Baekhyun called him, so Kyungsoo takes his lunch break early and heads down to Jongin’s floor. Baekhyun meets him at the elevator and starts telling him what’s been going on as they walk to Jongin’s room. He hasn’t changed much emotionally since he left Kyungsoo’s section.

    “He said he wanted to talk to you before he made his decided if he wanted to leave or not,” Baekhyun informs as they stop outside his room. “I’ll leave you to it, then.” He walks off to take care of his other patients and Kyungsoo is standing outside his closed door. His watch startles him when it beeps to tell him a new hour has come around. He takes a deep breath and opens the door into Jongin’s room and finds him staring at a blank wall this time.

    “Baekhyun said you wanted to talk to me?” Kyungsoo asks, walking in. It feels so weird to see him like this. He’s paler than usual, there’s no fire in his eyes and it looks as if he could snap at the touch. He notices Jongin’s full tray of cold food and his fingers twitch slightly. “You aren’t eating.”

    “I’m not hungry,” Jongin replies with a monotone voice.

    “I don’t think that’s true,” Kyungsoo says, walking over and dipping the spoon in a cup of pudding. “You hardly ate in intensive care and you look like you’re a homeless boy on the street.”

    “I want to go home,” Jongin interrupts, looking over at Kyungsoo. “Now.”

    Kyungsoo sets the spoon down and rubs his forehead. “You can’t go home now,” he answers, dragging a chair over. “You’re weak, you’re not eating, your leg is still broken as hell,” Kyungsoo lists and Jongin’s face twitches. “Why do you want to go home?”

    “I hate it here. I hate everyone here. They dance around me like I’m some kind of porcelain doll.” Kyungsoo leans back in his chair and kicks up one leg over the other. “They can’t do anything here that I can do for myself.”

    “Do you know how to start an IV?” Kyungsoo asks. “How to change your bandages correctly without the risk of infection?” Jongin is quiet and Kyungsoo rubs his eye. “Jongin you won’t eat and you won’t speak more than three words to anyone. You look like hell and I can’t imagine that you’ve gotten much sleep. How in the hell are you expecting them to let you go?”

    Jongin shrugs and looks back at the wall. “It’s my right, isn’t it?”

    “It’s not your right if you’re unfit to take care of yourself. They’ve got dozens of psychological reasons to keep you here and you’re just feeding into them.” Kyungsoo looks over through the window where Baekhyun is charting something on the computer. “And even if you do get home, how are you going to get to rehab sessions or know how much medicine to take or get anywhere in the house or outside of the house with that busted up leg.”

    “Fine, I get it,” Jongin snaps, crossing his arms. “I’ll just stay in this hole for the rest of my life.”

    “Don’t be such a drama queen, Jongin,” Kyungsoo scolds, standing up. “You’re too old to be playing princess.”

    “Let me come home with you, then,” Jongin says.

    “What? No-”

    “You said I didn’t know how to start an IV or clean my bandages but you do. So let me come home with you.”

    “Jongin,” Kyungsoo says, letting out a breath, “I work twelve hour shifts here. What makes you think I want to come home and do more medical work?”

    “Because you loved me once,” Jongin says and Kyungsoo freezes. “You were never good at hiding it, Dyo.”

    Kyungsoo sits back down after a few moments. “Once,” he lies. “I don’t have any obligation to you now.”

    “Kyungsoo, come on. I’m rotting away here. You’ve got to help me out.”

    And somewhere Kyungsoo breaks and agrees to let Jongin stay at his house until he gets better.