“You smoke?” Jongin asks, taking a seat next to Kyungsoo on the bench outside of the apartment building. It’s a few days after Kyungsoo came out of hiding and now everything is starting up. The hospital is looking into the missing medication, police are calling and asking about Kris. Everything that could go wrong is going wrong.

    “A friend told me it helps relieve stress,” Kyungsoo answers and smiles because he remembers this scene from months ago. Except Jongin was the one with the troubles and Kyungsoo was the one saying, “you shouldn’t smoke. It’s bad for you.”

    But those words come out of Jongin’s mouth along with, “everything is going to figure itself out, Kyungsoo.” He rubs his friend’s back and stares across the street with him, just sitting in silence and listening to the cars race and birds sing.

    “How did they figure out that you were stealing pain pills?” Jongin asks.

    “I told them,” Kyungsoo answers. “I also told them that Kris wasn’t involved but they’re still knocking on his door.” Kyungsoo lets out a breathy laugh and puts the cigarette back up to his lips to inhale the smoke. “They can knock all they want but he’s long gone,” he says while letting smoke seep out of his mouth.

    “Why would you do that? He’s the one that did this to you,” Jongin scolds and Kyungsoo shakes his head.

    “He was trying to stop me. At first he kept giving me them whenever I wanted but after a while he tried to get me to stop. That’s when I went to the hospital.” Kyungsoo finishes the cigarette and smothers it into the railing of the bench.

    “Then,” Jongin whispers, looking over at Kyungsoo. “I did this to you?”

    Kyungsoo doesn’t answer at first and Jongin takes it as a yes.

    “A lot of things did this to me, Jongin. I was a walking time bomb just happened to go off after you left.” He takes a long breath and leans back into the bench.

    “What happens now?” Jongin asks, watching Kyungsoo.

    “Now we wait. See what the hospital decides, though I doubt it will take long. It’s not like they have to think about my punishment.”

    “What do you think will happen?” Jongin questions and Kyungsoo shrugs.

    “Lose my job and probably my nursing license.”

    “What about the police?” Jongin asks. “Will they do anything?”

    Kyungsoo shakes his head. “Tons of overdose patients come in everyday and the hospital isn’t pressing charges against me so there really isn’t anything they can do.”

    Jongin just nods in response and they sit in silence again for a while this time before Jongin breaks it and says, “Come to France with me.”

    “What?” Kyungsoo chokes.

    “Come with me when I go back. You can live with me there,” Jongin repeats and Kyungsoo gives him an incredulous look.

    “I can’t just pick up everything here and move with you, Jongin.” Kyungsoo scoffs and looks away, though seriously considering it. “That’s just crazy.”

    “What’s holding you down here? You’re probably going to get fired and lose your license, you said it yourself!”

    “What about Baekhyun!”

    “What about him?” Jongin asks. “He’s got his girlfriend and it’s not like you’ll never see him again.” Kyungsoo chews on his lip so Jongin slides in closer. “We can be like those gross couples that run off together and spend every waking moment together.”

    “Except we’re not a couple,” Kyungsoo reminds.

    Jongin lets out a sigh and slides down to relax into the bench. “No, we’re not. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”

    Kyungsoo quickly looks at him and lets a cynical laugh slip through. “You throw around those words so easily but you don’t know the weight they hold over me, do you?”

    “Kyungsoo, I might not be in love with you, but I love you.” He pushes himself up so he’s eye level with Kyungsoo and grabs his hand. “When I found you in the bathroom that day,” his voice cracks. “Why didn’t you just pick up the phone and call me? I would have come back sooner if I knew something was wrong with you.”

    Kyungsoo chews on his lip and avoids eye contact as he remembers that day. He lost a patient because he was too high to think straight and didn’t notice the signs that something was going wrong until it was too late. When he got home later he was sobered up from watching as nurses and doctors scrambled while his legs just wouldn’t move, that he went into the bathroom and just poured and poured pills into his hands until he couldn’t count them and swallowed them all.

    “Why did you come back?” Kyungsoo asks.

    Jongin shrugs. “I had time and I missed you so I flew back and found you.” He shakes his head. “The second I pushed open your front door I knew something was up and from that point up until a couple days ago, everything has just felt blurry and surreal. Like none of this is actually happening.”

    “None of it should be happening, that’s the thing. If I had just said something..” Kyungsoo shakes his head, trailing off. “Whatever, it’s in the past.”

    “Do you think things would have gone differently if you talked to someone?” Jongin asks.

    “Don’t you?” Kyungsoo answers quickly. “If I told Baekhyun he would have helped me. If I asked Seulgi she would have stopped me. If I asked you to stay I wouldn’t even be in this situation.”

    “Then why didn’t you?” Jongin questions and Kyungsoo shrugs.

    “My favorite party is a pity party.” Kyungsoo laughs quietly before looking over at Jongin and smiling. “Let’s just forget about this right now and go out. I doubt you came here to be stuck in a never ending pity party.” He stands and holds his hand out to Jongin who looks at it briefly before taking it and letting Kyungsoo help him stand.